Levi sighed aloud. “Where does anyone find food in this era, huh? Do I even have a choice? Or is it the tavern and nothing?”

“You can always keep eating rations and jerky,” Colin pointed out.

“I’m so sick of rations and jerky! Come on. I snitched a few coins off Isa for a reason. Let’s find a place to spend them!”

“You mean, for you to spend them,” Colin muttered.

Levi stopped. He looked back, then walked over to Colin. Putting a hand over his shoulders, he leaned in. “Hey, man. Are you doing okay?”

“I’m fine, why?”

“Look, I’m just saying. If you’re hungry, you need some brains or whatever, just say the word. I am more than happy to go find some degenerate who deserves to die for you. I’ll even kill him for you. Hell, I’ll crack his skull open and find you a spoon—”

Colin pushed him away. “I’m fine. It’s fine, Levi.”

“Are you sure? I mean, you heard Isa. The hundred-year-old vampire knows what she’s talking about. I don’t want you to go berserk.” He paused. “Okay, I kind of do want to see that, but for your mental health, let’s say I don’t.”

Colin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s go get some food.”

Levi grinned. He turned the corner, then gasped. “A restaurant!”

Following his gaze, Colin found a warm storefront awaiting them. Light poured out from the window and the crack in the door. Through the picture window, they could see dozens of patrons digging into plates of steaming hot steaks, potatoes, and vegetables. They sipped wine or quaffed beer. Everyone smiled, laughing and chattering to one another.

“Hot damn, let’s go,” Levi muttered. He closed in on the door.

“Will Isa’s coins pay for that?”

“You ever hear of a dine and—fuck!”

“People usually call that a good first date,” Colin replied.

Levi rolled his eyes at him. He thumbed at the door. “Private event. Motherfucker. There’s gotta be another place…”

He closed his eyes and sniffed. Taking a few steps, he sniffed again. He took a sharp turn down a narrow alley, then pointed. “I smell something delicious down there. What do you say?”

Colin started to nod, only to suddenly freeze. He smiled. “I’ll wait here. You go get your food.”

Levi looked him over. “Dude, seriously. Are you—”

“I’m fine! I just need to sit for a minute and gather some mana,” Colin said. He waved his hand. “There’s lots of life mana here because of the party. I’ll just rest here and wait for you.”

“If you’re sure.” Levi glanced at Colin one last time, then shrugged and walked off, following his nose into the next street.

The second he left, Colin tensed. His whole body curled around his stomach. His face clenched into a grimace. Cold pain bit into his gut. His body withered under his clothes. He was able to plump it up forcibly by pushing mana into it, but that hurt. It ate at him from within. When he released it, it was all the more obvious how withered he was. Even using the technique withered him more, but what could he do? He couldn’t admit to Levi that he was… not dying, but… collapsing. Falling apart.

His hands shook. He clenched them, trying to still the shake. He couldn’t. He was too weak. He grimaced. How pathetic.

And the worst part was that he knew the solution. Levi knew the solution, Isa did, everyone did. He knew Levi would help him out. Gods knew the psychopath was more than willing to kill for him. He even believed Levi would find someone ‘worth killing,’ to the extent that such a thing existed in the world. It was just. Could he do it? Could he eat someone?

He already had. Once. But it had been… He shook his head, banishing the memory. Horrible. The worst. He’d lost all control. There was no Colin left. It was just the zombie, taking over.

That was what Levi didn’t understand. It wasn’t just that he didn’t want to eat people. He didn’t, but that was only some of the reason. It was the way the other part of him took over. The way Colin vanished, leaving nothing but a slavering undead. And when it was over, and he returned to a bloodsoaked body and the reminder that he wasn’t himself anymore, wasn’t even human, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it—

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

More than anything, that was what hurt.

He put his head in his hands. “What do I do?”

BAM!

A door flew open beside him. Startled, Colin lifted his arms to hide his face. Light and conversation spilled out, along with a burly man. The man dragged a boy of about twelve by the arm, his face twisted in anger. He threw the boy up against the opposite wall. The boy slammed into it and dropped to the ground, limp as a ragdoll.

Colin stared in disbelief. What?

Without hesitating a second, the man stomped over and kicked the boy. “You filth! Daring to spill soup on His Holiness? You’ve shamed me today! Shamed me and my entire restaurant! Filth. Rat. I was a fool to take you in when your mother died. I should have left you to die.”

The boy laid limply on the floor. He covered his head with his arms and curled up, but he didn’t fight back. His eyes gazed at nothing. Dead. Alive, but dead.

For just a second, his and Colin’s eyes met. And then the boy looked away.

Colin’s hand clenched in his shirt. His heart ached. No. I can’t just let this happen.

The man caught the line of the boy’s gaze and turned to find Colin sitting there. He laughed. “You think that junkie is going to help you? Idiot. He’s just another junkie, strung out on the Cult’s ‘incense.’ Better off dead, if you ask me.”

He turned back to the boy and raised his leg again.

Pushing off the wall, Colin struggled to his feet. He tried to speak, but his voice stuck in his throat. He cleared it. “Stop.”

The man paused. He looked at Colin, then laughed. Turning back to the boy, he gestured. “Look, he does want to step in. It’s your lucky day.”

The boy curled up a little tighter and said nothing. Blood ran down his arms and face.

The sharp scent of copper filled Colin’s nose. He swallowed, but it wasn’t enough. Saliva welled up constantly, dribbling down his chin. He forced himself not to look at the kid. Not to look at the blood. “Leave him alone.”

“Yeah? What’re you gonna do about it? Slobber on me?” the man challenged him. He closed in on Colin. A wave of foul breath washed over him, along with the reek of unwashed body. He grimaced, leaning away.

His whole body craved that scent. Craved what waited at the other end of it. It smelled so good. Delicious.

It shouldn’t!

A hand closed around his collar, jerking him back to reality. Colin staggered toward the man. He loomed close, his face huge in Colin’s vision. He shouted something, but Colin couldn’t hear a thing. All he heard was the throb of the man’s jugular. The steady thumping of his heart. The whoosh of his lungs.

It’s just the zombie speaking. Resist. Resist. Colin held back. He braced himself with all his might. Curled his hands into fists so tight his fingernails bit into his palms.

The man curled his lip derisively. He shoved Colin away and walked back to the boy. “Piece of shit. Now, where was I?” He drew back his leg.

Rage sparked in Colin’s chest. Something in him snapped. He stomped forward, closing the gap between them in a matter of seconds. He grabbed the man by the shoulder and whipped him around.

It’s not just the zombie. I, Colin, agree. This man deserves to die.

And I’m really, really, really fucking hungry. Colin opened his mouth wide and lunged for the man’s neck.

“Ha? You not done, mother fu—” The man’s curse turned into a scream as teeth pierced his neck. Colin bit down hard. He tore through skin, veins, muscle. Blood flowed hot in his mouth. He yanked, pulling a mouthful of muscle with him.

The man pushed at him. Punched. Kicked. Colin felt none of it. He grappled the man closer, taking bite after bite. Unlife-giving food flowed down his throat. Heat. Meat. Nothing else passed through his mind. Just the simple joy of food, the desperate satiation of a starving hunger.

At last, Colin looked up. He gasped a breath. The man had stopped struggling at some point. He laid on the ground now, torn apart. Little of his body remained. His bones were snapped, his muscle gnawed off, his head split open. He looked down to find a mushy gray goo in his palm. Brains.

He shrugged to himself and slurped it down.

Clap clap clap. Rapid, furious applause sounded out.

Colin looked up sharply.

Levi stood there, applauding. He caught Colin’s look and froze, then grinned. “Er, congrats? I hope?”

Colin laughed. It sounded high-pitched to his ears, a little off-kilter, but he meant it. “Yeah. Congrats it is.”

Levi patted him on the shoulder. His full muscled, firm shoulder, not the withered skin-and-bone thing it had become. Taking a bite of a chicken kabob, he grinned at Colin. “I’m proud of ya. Seriously.”

Colin nodded. He stood, looking down at himself. A bloody mess smeared down the front of his clothes. He pulled them away from him. “Ugh. I need some water.”

A high-pitched noise caught his attention. The boy still laid at the edge of the alley. He stared at Colin, frozen in shock.

Colin shooed him gently away. “Run. You’re free now.”

The boy scrambled backward. He stumbled to his feet and fled, leaving the alley behind at speed.

Levi grinned at him. He nudged Colin. “I’m proud of you! Good on ya, man. I knew you could do it.”

Colin pushed him away. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s go find a well.”

“We definitely should.” Levi peered around. He reached for his cloak, but Colin pushed it back at him.

“What?”

“Between bloodied clothes and the monstrosities wrapped around you, I’d rather hide the monstrosities,” Colin said.

Levi froze, then peered under his cape. The Spinal Cord glittered, and the Armalgam’s connections shone in the low light. He nodded slowly. “Fair. I don’t suppose our friend down there had a cloak?”

Colin looked at the bloody, gnawed mess. “Even if there was, I don’t think it’d be clean.”

“Fair enough. What do you say we make tracks before the police come?”

“Does this world have police?”

“Probably not, but—”

The back door swung open. Gold light played over Levi, Colin, and the gnawed body lying against the wall. A woman locked eyes with them, an empty bottle tucked under her arm.

Her arm went limp. The bottle fell.

Levi lunged. He threw his hand out and caught the bottle before it shattered on the ground. Turning, he smiled at the woman. “Hi! Please don’t scream. I swear we’re friendl—”

A piercing shriek rent the night air.