We all curled up when the sun started to set and I fell asleep dreaming of my kids. I woke up before they did and quietly extracted myself. My body was usually able to heal almost any wound pretty fast but the cuts from yesterday were quite severe. In fact I was still barely able to walk. That didn’t stop me from walking outside and placing a boulder at the entrance of our cave. I drank some water and stretched out.

I started running towards the goblin village, blood spurting out of my wounds as I ran. All of the food had gone bad meaning I needed to grab some groceries for my kids. And they sure as hell aren't about to eat ants.

And I’m not about to forget what these little green things did to my unborn babies. Their entire race was going to pay. From now on goblins are killed on sight, just like rats and humans. I made it to the village after a while and smiled. Their numbers had somehow grown and they seemed almost happy. Unacceptable.

I was sitting on the same cliff as always, trying to see which house had the most goblins inside. I chose one that had recently been rebuilt and belly flopped on top of it. The goblin began to scream and run away as I calmly turned my tail into a kebab of eight.

I kicked a goblin and watched it fly through the air as I just laughed and walked away. As I walked away I yelled. “I’m gonna make all of your lives a living hell, then I’m gonna eat you. Fuck your entire race!”

After that I skipped away, leaking blood and pus as I opened up almost all of my wounds. I winced and limped back home at a much slower rate. When I got back I hopped over the wall and tossed the corpse into a wall. I had left most of them alive so as my kids walked over I let them each kill one. Two had died on the way. I wasn’t about to show favoritism.

After we had all eaten our fill I escorted my kids to the stream for them to wash off, drink and play. After that I decided it was time for a day trip. We walked for around a half a mile before we arrived. A large pond which our stream fed into. My kids all hopped in and started swimming around, laughing and playing while I watched from the shore. I kinda wanted to swim but I don’t wanna scare my kids. I am still bleeding and I don’t think I want to get the pond that dirty.

After almost two hours of swimming my kids got tired and fell asleep next to me. I wrapped my tail around them and enjoyed the feeling of the sun hitting my scales. I sat there for another two hours before my kids woke up and I decided to bring them back to the cave.

When we got to the wall they noticed the mound of ant corpses and Marlow motioned towards them. I just smiled and lifted him up with my tail and placed him on the other side of the wall.

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After picking them all up and telling them to go into the cave I turned towards the forest and looked around. I heard the noise again and shot my tail forward. I heard a meaty thunk and instantly yelled. “Why the fuck can’t you guys just leave me alone? I just want to raise my kids. But you guys just keep coming back just to die!”

Suddenly the forest came alive around me as I heard hundreds of little voices let out war cries as over five hundred goblins charged at me. I instantly turned and hopped over the wall. I sprinted towards the entrance to my cave and blocked the entrance with the boulder. I then turned and began using my tail to pick off any goblin that got over the walls.

I killed over forty before they managed to coordinate an assault. They all climbed the wall at once and I was forced to charge in and begin ripping them apart with my claws. I had never fought such a large amount of enemies but these goblins were the weakest creatures I had met other than the mud crabs.

I lamented having to kill so many goblins, as they were a pretty good food source. The corpses would go bad before me and my kids could eat even a tenth of these shit heads. I stomped on one’s skull and yelled. “I know you hand-to-mouth peasants are poor but that doesn’t mean you need to kill yourself by trying to hurt my kids! You could always try having more money!”

I punted a nearby goblin but unfortunately all my kick did was completely destroy the gross little green runt’s skull. I snorted and ate one whole. I chewed on it before spitting it out. Its comrades screamed with rage as I swiped my claws at them.

Almost all of these goblins were just as weak as the ones from before. But finally I med one that seemed stronger than the others. He wore a cloak made from what looked to be Zorkid hide and wielded an actual metal sword. It was completely rusted but I’m sure it was still better than the stone daggers the other goblins used. The stone daggers were literally just rocks with a slightly sharp point.

I used my tail more than anything else as I ripped through all of the opposition until I was face to face with the seemingly important goblin. He turned towards his people, probably to give some sort of rising speech. Unfortunately for him, he was an idiot. Why would you ever turn your back on an enemy? My tail slammed through the back of his head and into the stomach of a nearby goblin as all of the nearby gobbo’s started screaming.

I was confused but all at once the goblins scattered, fleeing into the forest. Maybe that goblin was the leader of the assault? Seemed kinda weak to be their leader. How have these guys survived this long? They’re so weak. And the ants live right next to them? Maybe the ants just harvest the goblins like livestock? That would sense. I mean they gotta feed the whole colony. Which I’m still incredibly concerned about. Oh well, a problem for another day. I checked my notifications and frowned. How did this even make sense?

You have killed a level 1 Goblin x 275

You have killed a level 4 Goblin

You have leveled up. You are now a level 35 Mud Skink War Queen

1 level? From wiping out half an army? And how have none of them gained any levels except for the first? How does that work? Why does that work? Why is the goblins level so small? Where did all these goblins even come from? How come I keep getting attacked? Are my kids okay?

That last question startled me into action as I pushed the boulder aside to find my kids chilling in the cave. Marlow and James were pushing rocks, trying to hit each other in a funny way while Tim and Tom along with Chester and Charlie wrestled in the corner.