I skipped around the camp. My life is awesome! I can’t wait to have little grandkids running around. I was excited for a while but eventually I got to work. No time to waste! Gotta protect my kids and my grandkids.

I left Diana in charge and sprinted into the forest. The Zorkids most likely had some type of base or home nearby. They would be neutralized. I stomped through the forest enjoying the gentle breeze and the sound of the wildlife.

The mudflats had been nice but they were kinda, muddy. And stinky. And filled with giant rats. Although my new home had fire breathing turkeys and goat headed, three armed monsters. But I can get rid of most of that.

I walked around aimlessly for a few hours, listening for any sign of an enemy. Unfortunately for me nothing disturbed me other than a rather large frog. It was almost the size of my head!

I ate it and it tasted delicious, as expected. Just kidding it tasted like shit. Who would ever enjoy eating raw frog? Curse this body and always be hungry. I grumbled for a few minutes before hearing a rather familiar sound.

The bleating of multiple goats suddenly rang out throughout the forest. I crouched down as best I could and began slowly crawling towards the noise. As I grew closer the sound and smell grew even worse.

The forest suddenly disappeared as I looked over a rocky ledge at the Zorkids. The disgusting goat things had set up camp in a large cave with a stream running right next to it. Around half a dozen of the filth were hanging out around the entrance of the cave. The ground around them was covered in half eaten carcasses and feces.

My children and I had already designated an area a minute walk from our base as trash and toilet. We kept our home clean, unlike these poor people. I almost spat on them before stopping myself. How dare they try to kill my kids!

I stretched out then without actually thinking it through leapt off the ledge screaming. “Fuck all of you! You dirty impoverished peasants!” I landed on one of the Zorkids, ripping its throat out while all the other Zorkids stared at me in shock. I dedicated myself to the corpse then grabbed a rock with my tail and slammed it into the nearest Zorkid’s skull.

I then sprinted forward and bit two of the ones close to me, my paralyzing venom quickly entering their bodies. The remaining two Zorkids quickly got to work. One charged at me and swung its long arm at me. The other grabbed a horn off the ground and blew into it.

A loud whining sound was produced and I could hear the sound of bleating from deeper inside the cave. I tanked the blow from the Zorkid’s long arm then slammed my rock into its forehead. Its head split like a melon as I grabbed the last remaining Zorkid and snapped its neck.

I stomped the paralyzed ones then spirited away. I winced at the large bruise the Zorkid had caused but smiled. I had managed to take out a small party of the Zorkids with minimal difficulty. I checked my notifications and my smile grew even wider.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

You have killed a level 5 Zorkid.

You have killed a level 1 Zorkid.

You have killed a level 8 Zorkid.

You have killed a level 3 Zorkid.

You have killed a level 2 Zorkid.

You have killed a level 9 Zorkid.

You have leveled up. You are now a level 24 mud skink Queen

Perfect! I gotta be close to the next evolution by now. I strutted around for a few seconds before remembering that I was running away. I quickly sprinted towards where the lake should be and then made my way back home.

When I got back my children all greeted me happily as I told them what I had done. “You should have been there! It was awesome! And I barely got away.” For some reason my kids did not think what I had done was very cool.

Felix nodded and said. “Yes, we should have been there. What happens to us if you get killed? Why would you risk yourself when you only have to utter a word for us to assist you.” I stared blankly at Felix for a second.

First off, when had he gotten such a good vocabulary? Second, because you’re my kids. “You’re my kids! Why would I ever purposely put you in a dangerous situation where my entire goal is a fight to the death? What type of parent would I be if I did that.”

Felix grunted and said. “So? Who cares if one of us dies? You keep treating us like we’re fragile. Like we aren't useful. Just this morning you tried to not let us fight. You couldn’t have won if we hadn’t helped. We own this territory and we patrol as a group. Do you think we just don’t fight while on patrol?”

I was a bit taken aback but went on the offensive. “Felix, I am your mother and father! You will listen to me and what I tell you to do. If I say something is too dangerous. Then it is too dangerous! Do you understand me?”

Okay that sounded a little harsh, I need to salvage this. Felix looks like I just smacked him as the behemoth slumps to the ground and starts to cry. I quickly run over and say. “No, no! I didn’t mean it like that! I’m sorry for snapping at you. I just… I don’t like the idea of you guys having to fight. It scares me.”

Felix wiped his tears on his paw thing and said. “I’m sorry for speaking out of line my Queen.” Holy shit I went way too far. “Felix, look at me. I trust you. If I had to fight a giant army of murder goats I would always pick you to fight with me. But you’re my kid. And I worry, I’ll always worry. I love you, all of you.”

Felix nodded and leaned against me. This felt pretty wholesome but from an outside perspective probably looks pretty ridiculous. Eh, who cares. I patted my kid on his head and said. “Alright, I agree with you guys. I’ve been treating you like objects, little props to just sit there. So I’ll ask you all this. Will you please come with me tonight to murder a bunch of humanoid goat monsters?”