I nod and turn towards Diana. “Sure what’s up?” Diana nervously slaps her tail on the ground as she says. “My Queen, I would like to ask you a question. Will you allow me to lay my eggs beside yours?”

I stared at her for a few seconds then said. “Sure.” Diana flops onto the ground and says. “Thank you for your generosity my Queen. I promise my children will be loyal to you.” I nodded and said. “I never really doubted they wouldn’t be loyal.”

Diana just walked away after. What the hell? Oh well, maybe this is what having a teenage kid is like? Confusion and weirdly tense conversations. I shrugged and went to go for a swim in the lake.

Harry was still fishing and had a pretty large pile piled up next to him. Most of the fish were small but it didn’t really matter. There were enough fish that no one would go hungry. I ate a few then sat next to Harry.

We watched the sun set in silence until Harry asked. “My Queen, are you alright?” I nodded and said. “I’m alright Harry. Just wish I had some money.” Harry frowned and looked like he wanted to ask something.

Before he could I got up and said. “I’m gonna go for a quick swim.” Everything felt weird right now. My speech had felt lackluster, faded almost. My head was all fuzzy and for some reason my legs weren’t responding.

Why am I not moving? I thought I told Harry I was going to go for a swim? Wait, why am I going swimming? Where was I going to go swimming? My castle doesn’t even have a pool yet. Why are my eyes not opening? What’s going on?

I could hear Harry’s voice though. “My Queen! What’s wrong? My Queen!” That poor boy was born today! Why was he so worried? He should just enjoy himself. Maybe I should buy him a toy. I have more than enough money.

Oh wait no, no money. Oh now I can hear Diana. “My Queen!” I keep forgetting to tell them to call me a king. I guess it doesn’t matter that much but still. I’m a boy. Boy. Boy. Such a weird sounding word if you really just it. That’s kinda all words though. Boy, boy ,boy ,boy ,boy ,boy.

Woah, my brain still feels kinda fuzzy. Why am… oh cool a turkey. Wait no fuck turkeys! They’re just poor people that can breathe fire. I wish I could breathe fire. I wonder if I can make a pie soon. I miss pie.

“My Queen, please respond! Felix helped me carry her! Why is she so hot?” Was that Diana? “It burns! My Queen please wake up." Was that Linus? Oh Linus, he’s been through so much in such a short time. All of my children have. “Mother, please wake up.”

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I don’t recognize that voice. Was that Kurt? “My queen!” Why were they sobbing? I’m just resting my eyes for a few minutes. Everything went dark after that and I could no longer hear my children's voices.

Instead a strangely high pitched voice began muttering. The voice was weasley and honestly disgusting. All signs pointed to a poor person talking to me. And yet I couldn’t hear a single word it was saying. Were the myths true? If someone was rich enough they couldn’t understand what poor people say?

While this is fun I wanna go back. “Yo! I’m going back now! Let me leave. Please?” Nothing changed about the muttering as I tired looking around. But where am I? I can’t see anything.

Suddenly the mumbling, bumbling shit head got louder. “Yeah, I said I wanna leave!” I do not like this. The poor person just kept mumbling. Over and over. “Shut the fuck up! I said shut the fuck up!”

Instantly the mumbling stopped, replaced with a fucking chuckle. “I don’t know where I am right now but you need to let me go back to my kids.” The giggling by now had turned into a full on belly laugh as I just floated there in the darkness.

The laughing slowly subsided and for the first time since I had arrived in this strange place I heard some actual words. “The enemy is coming. The enemy is coming. You must prepare.”

I listened for a few seconds as it repeated itself again and again. “Alright I don’t know what type of illness you have but you need to deal with it yourself. and don’t just randomly give people cryptic messages. You’re fucking weird.”

It stopped talking for a second then said. “The enemy has arrived.” The second it finished that sentence I felt myself being ripped out of the darkness. I opened my eyes and saw that I was once again surrounded by my children.

I stretched out and stood up as my children slept beside me. It was night time and for some reason I couldn’t hear a single bird. Kinda weird but I guess they gotta sleep too. I checked on all of my kids and saw that everyone except Linus was inside the large burrow I had dug out.

I stealthily picked Darwin up and placed him on top of Jack. I stepped back and stared at the large pile of my kids. What if that strange poor person wasn’t just insane? What if some ancient enemy was going to attack? I can’t risk it. I need to get stronger.

I sighed and plopped myself down, blocking the entrance to the sleeping burrow. I stared into the darkness, seeing small forms moving around. I snapped my jaws a few times and grabbed a rock with my tail.

Who cares if there is some enemy coming to attack us. I’ll kill them all and then feed them to my children. Or maybe I won’t, no low quality meat for my kids. I stood up and tried to make myself look as tall as possible. “Alright you hand-to-mouth struggling on the breadline shitheads! Come at me! I’m gonna kill all of you!”