I was frozen in shock for a few seconds. Was this how it was going to end? Fed to some impoverished bird’s children? Used to fuel a new generation who would steal from the rich? Never!

I began wriggling around, trying to bite the bird. Its talons seemed to squeeze even tighter as it let out a screech, damaging my ears. “Curse you, you beggarly peasant! Release me at once! I am a dragon!”

The hawk didn’t seem to care as I continued to wiggle. This was preposterous! I will not stand such treachery! After a few more wriggles I gave up. So this was how I was going to die, not a penny in my treasury, my lair abandoned and depleted of anything I had hoped to hoard.

I sat in the arms of the hawk for what felt like years. Finally, after what must have been a few millennia I was dropped towards the waiting jaws of its brood. My plan had worked! I turned my face towards them as I glanced at my surroundings.

The nest was on a large tree in the middle of the forest. The lake a small blip in the distance. I kept my eyes on the prize as I stared at my targets. Three small, featherless chicks, their beaks filled with razor sharp teeth.

I slammed into one, instantly biting its neck and ripping off a chunk of skin. It squawked weakly before collapsing to the ground. I slapped one behind me with my tail and jumped at the second.

I probably should have practiced using my tail a bit more as I missed the first one completely and face planted. The two chicks advanced on me, chirping at me in what must have been rage at their siblings' death. Jokes on them! I’m rich!

I once again swung at one with my tail, this time hitting it in the face as it was sent tumbling backwards. I then waddled forward and landed a bite on its leg. I yanked and the chick collapsed, half paralyzed and now off balance.

I left it alone and went to kill the other one. No one can resist me and the power of my money! I tackled the last one to the ground, stomping on its neck while screaming. “Die you on the breadline scum! Die! Die! Die!”

I began laughing as I stomped the chick out, reveling in the bloodshed. This was glorious! After the chick stopped moving I looked up and saw the mother circling with rage in its eyes. So I looked in the direction of the lake and jumped.

My chances of surviving the fall were far higher than my chances of not being shredded by that giant hawk. It was the size of a human! If my estimation for my own height was correct. It probably wasn’t very exact though. Measuring using a tree isn’t exactly a widely acclaimed practice.

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I smiled at my fancy use of words as I plummeted through the air. I could die knowing I was smart and rich. I let out a grunt as my stomach slammed into a branch. I held on for a few seconds, desperately grasping the branch.

I slid off however as whatever sort of Skink I was, I did not have a good grip. I could feel my stomach tightening with hunger as I continued to plummet. “Well I have been falling for a gold awful amount of time!” Just as I was about to continue complaining I landed but first on a very pointy pinecone.

Other than being incredibly uncomfortable and scared I was okay! Money would heal my trauma. I looked around and had a rather startling thought. “I don’t actually know where the lake is.”

I had jumped in the right direction but falling for almost a minute and getting personal with a pinecone meant that I had been too distracted to keep track of what was happening. I grumbled for a few seconds before just walking off in what I hoped was the right direction.

I placed a webby hand on my chest and prayed. “Gold be with me, in all my actions protect me as one of your chosen. I am wealthy.” After repeating the prayer my father had taught me I started walking.

The best word I could use for this forest was dense. I couldn’t see ten feet in front of me, a wall of trees blocking any hope of seeing the lake. I grumbled for a few seconds before beginning to walk.

At least the foliage would protect me from any more opportunistic hawks. I took a single step and instantly fell over. I looked down at my leg and frowned. Why was there a bone sticking out of my leg?

I stared at it for a few seconds before the pain slammed into my brain. I collapsed to the ground, blood streaming out of my leg as I began to let out a low keening noise, crying softly. Why was I feeling pain? I’m a dragon! I am a rich dragon. Why am I feeling pain?

I took a few deep breaths and said. “Alright, distract yourself. Count your money, okay you don’t have any money.” I glanced around and then saw the floating notifications. “Okay just read those! Distract yourself! Move it! For money!”

You have killed a level 1 Excreta Chick x4

You have leveled up. You are now a level 2 mud skink

You have leveled up. You are now a level 3 mud skink

I stared at the notifications for a few seconds but nothing happened. What did leveling up even mean? It’s probably good but how the hell am I supposed to know that? Does it mean I’m growing? I’m still the same size, so that's a no.

I grumble for a few more seconds before rolling onto my back and staring up at the trees. It was a nice day out, would have been nicer with a bottle of wine and my human body but it was a nice day.

I rolled onto my belly and began crawling, dragging my broken leg through the underbrush. I winced but pushed on! I needed to get back to my lair. Interior design was important damnit!

I walked for what must have been hours but when I looked back I could still see the same tree I had jumped from. Damn I’m slow with only three legs. I pick up the pace and begin singing. Music is important for living a long life.

“100 bars of gold in the treasury! 100 bars of gold! If one bar should happen to be taxed, 99 bars of gold on the wall!” My beautiful singing didn’t sound very good but who cares. I belted it out as loud as I could.

I was on the 66th bar of gold when I walked past a large hole in the ground. One second later my leg was gone. It didn’t even register for a few seconds, it was so fast. My broken leg was there for a second, then gone. I turned towards the hole and saw an enormous bear exit the hole, my leg in its jaws.