Much later that evening Lily drove home to her apartment. She didn’t dare go back to Allan’s house. It would be far too awkward after she basically rejected his proposal. She pulled into a space in the parking lot of her building and walked into the lobby. As usual, it was empty.

It was also late. She had been gone for hours and everyone was probably asleep. This gave her plenty of time to get insidewithout worrying about anyone else finding out she was back.

She stepped into her apartment and closed the door behind her. She locked it and leaned against it for a moment. Then she sighed and turned on the lights.

Her apartment was sparsely furnished. There was a couch and a table, both covered in months of dust, and a bed. That was about it.

She sat on the couch, taking in her surroundings. Her mind wandered to Allan, and whether or not he would forgive her for what happened between them. She couldn't stop thinking about him. He was handsome, charming, and smart. Not to mention brave. And he was also… different.

He was also too straight laced, in her opinion. Too serious.

Was he the right person for her? Or would she be happier with someone less serious? Someone like, say, David?

She felt her heart sink.

There was no use in wondering. Allan and Jason were two very different people. It was best she put any thoughts of them aside and focus on what she had.

She stood up and went over to the kitchenette. She took out a bottle of wine and poured herself a glass. She drank it down in one gulp, then filled it up again.

When she finished, she picked up her phone from the side table. She dialed a number, praying that he answered.

"Hang on," his muffled voice replied. "Hold on."

Lily slumped onto the couch and waited.

Finally, there was movement from the other end.

"...Hi?" Allan sounded groggy.

Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

"Hey." Lily paused. "I'm sorry about earlier. You know, I didn't mean to…"

"No, it's okay.”

He sounds drunk.

"We'll be fine. We just need a little more time. Please!" he pleaded.

His voice was slurring. I could hear the confusion in his tone, the sheer panic. He sounded like a child begging for his parents not to leave.

"Fine, okay." she said, knowing that the best thing she could do right now was to sound agreeable.

"So… you’ll come home?”

Lily sighed. "Of course."

She could hear the relief in his voice, but knew that it wouldn't last. He would soon realize that she had lied to him. That she was never coming back. It stung a little, but she understood. She had to stay strong for the sake of the mission.

She glanced at the clock and realized it was 2:15 AM. It was probably too late to call Jason. She had barely slept since she had gotten home and her mind was spinning.

If Jason had any sense, he'd be sleeping right now.

Maybe I should try calling him…

Lily hesitated.

Dammit!

She grabbed her phone and speed-dialed Jason's number.

"Hello?" His sleepy voice answered.

"Jason!" she sighed. "Can we talk?”

"Sure, what is it?"

“I just…” she hesitated, “I just don’t know what to do. A lot of what you said earlier is ringing true.”

"What did I say?" he asked.

"…About us. About our promise to each other." Lily frowned, “I’m sorry.”

"Yeah," he said. "I guess it was stupid of me to even argue with you about that."

"Well," she continued hesitantly, "I just want you to know… despite everything, I still love you.”

There was silence on the other end of the line.

Jason finally stammered, “I didn't expect you to say something like that.”

"You know I do," she said softly. "I always have. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so… mean. I was just worried about the mission."

"Yes, yes. I understand."

They remained silent for a few moments.

“For what it’s worth,” Jason spoke softly, “I still love you too. More than anything else. I think about you all the time, you know. Your smile, your hair, and how cute you look when you're sleeping."

Lily smiled.

"And those lips…"

"Stop it." she giggled. "You're making me blush."

"Anyway," he continued. "I've been thinking about this whole thing and I don't think it will work. We were never meant to be together. I'm sure of it. We would drive ourselves crazy if we tried to make it work."

"That's… yeah." she agreed reluctantly.

"So I think we should go our separate ways. No hard feelings."

"Okay." Lily said quietly as a tear escaped down her cheek.

"Goodbye, Brandi, and good luck."

Lily hung up the phone and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

She was going to lose him after all.

This can’t be happening!

She stood up and paced around the room, wracked with guilt and regret.

Why am I feeling guilty? I'm doing the right thing here!

But her heart told her otherwise.

She had to be strong, she knew. The mission was the most important thing in her life.

Lily swore under her breath.

She couldn't let him go. She couldn't give up on him. She loved him too much.

She clenched her fists, then slammed them against the wall in frustration.

----------------------------------------

© Copyright 2022 R.M. Mulder. All rights reserved.