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What Comes Next

What Comes Next

"I never expected that your husband would really turn into a teenage girl."

Holly nervously brushed her hair back a few times with her hand as Isabella looked her in the eye with tightly folded arms.

A few moments of silence passed before Holly continued her thought, "I mean it was my intent but…like trying to shoot the moon." She gave Isabella a careful little smile that she hoped would be infectious. Isabella's mouth didn't budge.

Holly leaned back on her couch and took a sip of the water she'd brought with her to the living room. She'd picked this location to talk to her friend. It had a cool, nice color to it and there was nothing pointed or dangerous anywhere nearby.

After a quick, room-filling cough, Holly shuffled her legs the other way and tapped her toes against the carpet. "You probably know that it was Richard who first presented the idea to me. He's always been curious…I'm sure you know."

Isabella only allowed herself a sigh but straightened her already-tense neck muscles and glare on Holly. Holly hunched on the couch and cupped her chin.

"And we talked it over. And I was gonna try something just to see if something would happen and imagine my surprise when I received word about…the effects. I've never seen anything quite so successful from…my best efforts before."

Holly tried to work her way over a gentle rise of words as they passed through her lips. But they were not enough against the imposing mountain of Isabella's presence.

She could always trust the confident shelter of her friend's presence against all dangers. Standing against it made all the best words inside her flee.

Holly wrung her hands softly against her legs and managed only, "I thought it was the right thing." Her words bowed against the weight of Isabella's eyes.

For just an instant, Isabella's gaze waned, but they did not shift from their target. There was so much Isabella wanted to say, wanted to scream, but the thoughts were so intense that all she could do was hold fast there and let the unspoken words slam against her brain again and again like energized particles.

Holly shut her eyes, but her lids couldn't entirely cloak Isabella's gaze. Even in the darkness, she could feel it. But she could speak. "I did it out of the best of my heart. I'm not sure how I did it. But I did it meaning the best." Her words merely fluttered, but she could feel them working their way out of her.

Isabella felt her mouth undulate, like a shuddering wave rippling out across the ocean. Her hand shifted but soon tightened. The particles of thoughts still swung around her mind, moving in too many directions to find their way out.

She looked at Holly with her crinkly, brown hair tied in her usual, rough bun. Isabella could hear in Holly's voice the reflection of words she'd given her. Even then, Isabella imagined giving Holly a big hug, but she held back and shook her head. The words were still moving too fast for her to form them.

Slowly opening her eyes, Holly searched Isabella's face framed by her deep amber tresses. To Holly, her friend's nose showed like a missile in the midst of launch and her jaw looked ready to crush her. They sat even and level to one another on their couches and yet Holly felt so small.

Richard was with Isabella's sister, Cora, at the doctor. Isabella had given a note of protest at the time, especially to her husband in her sister's clothes, but understood that checking Richard's health was key before any other concerns.

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Holly slowly shook her head and admitted, "I don't know what else I can say…"

Finally, a blast of words found their way out of Isabella's head, "Would…anything you could say give me my husband back?" She found herself surprised by the calm in what she'd spoken. Lurking in them was the faint hope that Holly would surprise her with positive news.

Holly looked back at her and reiterated that she had no idea what she'd even done in the first place. Isabella watched her with the wisdom of knowing her facial expressions over decades. She could tell truth in Holly's eyes. She knew she'd been telling her the truth with every word. She'd watched carefully. But knowing that didn't make her feel any better.

In her mind, she could see a small, stunned teenage girl in place of her husband. She could see the little flash in his eyes again as he realized what had happened. The happiness that danced through him made her heart quake. It felt like losing everything she loved.

She knew if she didn't hold onto her stern expression, she was sure to burst into tears. But she held it.

Holly softly told her, "I know that Richard has always loved you and will always love you no matter what happens to him." Carefully, she reached her hand out across the divide between couches to Isabella.

The couches were really too far apart for the gesture to mean much, but the words lingered with Isabella as she eased against the cushion. She still glared out at Holly but without intensity. The words in her mind had stopped blasting around. They hung cold and weightless in her thoughts, drained and without any force to pull them to her lips.

But still, with a quiver, a few words found their way into the air.

"What do I do?"

With that quiver, the mountain came crashing down softly with twinkling tears.

Neglecting the distance between them, Holly rushed to Isabella's side and clasped tightly to her hand. Through tears, Isabella looked down at the sight of Holly's hand in hers. It felt comforting in its familiarity. It also made her recoil, but only for a moment.

Holly shivered through her entire body as she said, "I'm so sorry. I never for a moment wanted to hurt you. I only wanted there to be happiness."

Isabella wiped her eyes with her free hand. She could feel each tear like a liquid dream slowly shattering and draining out of her. Out drained her husband's warm, strong embrace. Out ran his deep, loving chuckle. Out spilled the hope of their lives. There was nothing left inside her, only the fearful unknown of what came next.

But in the nothingness came little flashes. She knew the little moments. She remembered his averted eyes as he glanced at himself in the mirror. She remembered his efforts to speak in a higher tone. She knew how his eyes lingered on her underwear in a way that felt odd. She saw his sadness.

Isabella took a deep breath. Her body seemed to float far below her. She looked down and found the words in the twisting chaos, "I know Richard loves me and I love Richard...oh, I so deeply love Richard. This just hurts so much…and I don't know what to do. But I will never stop loving him…no matter what."

Her breath seeped away. Isabella sat there and focused softly on that thought. In that moment, it helped that Holly's hand was there, no matter what it meant.

Isabella didn't feel peace then or even the faintest revelation or meaning. But, softly, like the faintest ebb of the tide, she felt her hostile mind and fears abate.

It wasn't much. She was still just as angry, as confused, as fearful, as worried, as lost. But she clung tightly to her love, and it was a beginning.