8hB79MF.jpg [https://i.imgur.com/8hB79MF.jpg]

I shake my head. "This is nuts. Come on!"

Her face tightens. "I know…but I don't have a choice. You don't want me. Not really. You just wanted another you to do your fucking play like a twin. But I am a person. No matter if you keep me around for now…I know you don't really want me."

I shake my head. "You say I don't know you…well, you don't know me. Give me a chance to make this right. You just misheard mom…"

Kyoko shakes her head back at me and says, "No. I listened to the whole conversation. I know what she said. I just understand what she'll be saying about me when she gets back."

I urge, "You don't know that." She tilts the knife back, holding it close to herself. My eyes widen and my heart throbs. Her eyes seal into slits. I can imagine what she's thinking, but I can't understand it.

I set the trowel aside and take a step towards her. Her eyes remain nearly shut. I know she can hear my footsteps. Her knife is so close to her arm. I can feel my heart beating as though it's the same as hers. I reach out my hand. I know how easily she can just stab me, but I have to do something. I have to show her. I hold my palms out and her knife stays back.

I pause. She doesn't attack. I see her hands trembling with her eyes closed. I reach out to wrap my hand around hers. Like handling the poised stinger on a wasp, I gently pull the knife from her grip. I point it down gently. I drop it aside with a metallic clang. The stone is still in her hand.

My heart slows, but I watch for any moves towards the dropped knife or any other weapon. Cautiously, I put my arms around her. She doesn't tense, but she stops herself from shaking. I can feel the stone between us.

Quietly, I hear the softest little whimper escape her. I shut my eyes too and whisper, "I truly care about you. I don't know what to do but…I wish I could fix this." We bow our heads to each other.

Applause follows throughout the audience.

After a quiet moment, the black curtain drops. I can breathe. I look to Toshi. I tell him he did wonderfully as the echoes of applause filter through the curtain. He sighs. I lead him by the hand backstage. Our part is over for now.

We have some time to breathe at the mirrors in the darkened area. I sit and lean my head to the side. I brush at my long hair. Toshi sits beside me.

He asks, "Why?" I look at him with a smile. His expression is sullen, which softens my smile. I lean back. "Why what? Did you want to rehearse again?"

Toshi limply shakes his head.

I pick up a bottle of water and hold it out, but he rejects it. I hold my questions back and watch him. Staring at the counter, he asks, "Why did you make me?"

With a faint smile, I ask back, "Isn't that supposed to be my line? Kyoko all serious, existential, and fearful?"

He stares at me. "I feel just like that character right now. I've been wondering what happens next."

On the high shelf of Toshi's dressing room area sits the stone. He eyes it. Like in the play, I let him keep it so I can't change him.

I sigh. I'm not sure what to say. There aren't any lines from a script for me now. "We talked about what happens next. It'll be difficult, but I promised. I accept you as my brother. I've always wanted a brother. Mom's always wanted a son…"

He interrupts, "I know. I just….It's like…I was just made one day. Just like the character of Kyoko. I don't have a history. I don't have any friends. Mom and dad only know there's something important you need to tell them when they get back. Your mom and dad."

I correct him, "Our mom and dad."

His lips are set. "No. Your mom and dad. You and this fucking stone are my mom and dad." He gestures to the stone with a flip of his hand.

I lean towards him and frown. "How many times do I have to apologize?"

He winces. "I don't want apologies. I don't want anyone to feel sorry I was created."

I cup my forehead. "So, say a little about what you do want. Tell me about that. Did you even want to do this play?"

He eases his head back, but his neck looks tense. "It was always going to be pretend. I get to be the real one and you get to play out all the stuff you think I might do. I'm a little offended. You really think I'd pull a knife on you for no real reason?"

I restrain myself from smacking the counter, but my hands still land with force. "The character of Kyoko is not a girl version of you. Just like the character of Toshi is not a boy version of me. It's just a play."

"What about now?" His eyes linger.

I frown. "What do you mean?"

He folds his hands. "I mean…who will I be playing for the rest of my life? Do I have any choice in playing your brother? To me, I was a girl who woke up as a boy. I told you about how terrifying it was finding like a…hot dog and a bag of squishy oranges growing out of my legs."

I nod. "Of course. It inspired the bit about the chainsaw. That didn't really get a laugh. Perhaps I played it too dark..."

Toshi shakes his head. "Forget about the play for a minute…"

I try to put it out of mind despite the other lines still lingering in my head. "Alright. You always have a choice. You're a person. You're a human being. I can't even imagine undoing you. But it's like some sort of pregnancy that made a brother who is part me, but not me. It's all so confusing. What do you want me to do?"

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He covers his face with his hands. "There are moments where I kinda want you to undo me so I can go back to being a part of you…unaware…not existing. I don't want to think about…your friends the way I do. It feels like the hot dog wants to fucking burst through my pants. And flipping it into a made-up story just makes it all the more uncomfortable."

I try not to blush or wince. "We're separate people. You're my male side. But you're simply a boy who is attracted to girls. It's normal. Not that I demand you should or shouldn't like girls, but it's what physically attracts you…so no reason to fight it. I guess."

He sniffles. "That's just it. I don't want to be a separate person with all these strange things." He stands and flicks the light over the mirror off. More darkness spreads across his face.

I stand too and watch. He picks up the stone and hands it to me. "Maybe…like how the play ends…maybe we can do that too. Maybe we can fix it…"

I shake my head. "But there's so much I wanted to do with you beyond just this play…"

He bows his head. "You talk about not saying what I should and shouldn't choose. This is what I choose."

My mouth hangs open. "But this is different! You're choosing to die…to be unwritten into me! I'll have to live with the fact I did that to you!"

He holds his hands out. "I absolve you of that obligation. This is all my own choice. No guilt for you. No worries for me."

I want to chuck the stone at the ground. I refuse to reflect on it. I don't even want to hold it. He moves towards me and touches my hands. I want to cry, but I can't find the tears. We embrace, like at the end. The same way. He's embracing me and I can't do anything. I hold the instrument of his demise, only he wants me to kill him.

We pull each other close. The embrace is the closest touch I can imagine with someone else. It's like our skin is one.

He opens his mouth, but they're my words this time.

"I truly care about you. I don't know what to do but…I wish I could fix this."

The curtain falls again.

====

INTERIOR

(A small, dimly-lit room at the back of the college theater. Some dressers and unused props sit around, cluttered and unarranged. On chairs, in the center of the room, sit KYOKO, TOSHI, and MAEKO, all mid-20s. Pages from a script lay between them on the floor.)

MAEKO

It still needs some work. Do you find it a little too trippy? I mean…I try to write what I know.

(KYOKO and TOSHI look each other in the eye then glance down at the script pages on the floor. They both remain silent for several moments till KYOKO finally speaks with her mouth twisted in uncertainty.)

KYOKO

It's a good script. I am a little worried that I come across as a half murderous, half suicidal crazy bitch.

TOSHI

I wish the last part was a little longer. It also doesn't really have an ending.

(MAEKO nods and picks up a few pages of the script from the floor.)

MAEKO (with a sheepish look)

Yeah. I had a thought about that. And the Kyoko parts came from a couple nights ago…listening to Kyoko's fears.

KYOKO (while rubbing her eyes)

I get that. But that's not all I'm about. I am you…we are you. And yet we're separate.

TOSHI

I can kinda see where you're coming from with Toshi as a character. And then Toshi gets a small taste of that perspective too. I think I know what you're doing.

(MAEKO leans forward expectantly.)

TOSHI

...You want us to know you're thinking about our worries. And use this as catharsis, right?

(MAEKO reflects silently and smiles.)

MAEKO

Oh, I certainly am. And you may. But, for me….I exist because of you both. You two are my children. As for the ending, I want to dwell in the endless possibilities of today and tomorrow. That's why I don't know if I really want there to be an ending. I may have one though…in two words.

(KYOKO and TOSHI lean forward expectantly)

MAEKO (playfully, waving her hand)

Later….but thanks for stopping by. I'll be done in here in a bit. You two should go get something to eat.

(KYOKO and TOSHI get up and head to the far exit.)

(EXEUNT - KYOKO and TOSHI.)

(MAEKO continues to fuss with the script. The door nearest her, towards the stage area, opens and a STAGE HAND peers through the doorway.)

STAGE HAND

You alright back here?

MAEKO

I'm great. I was just finishing up…

STAGE HAND

No problem. Is there anyone else around? I thought I heard some talking.

MAEKO (smiling)

Just me.

(Curtain.)