Waiting for Santa (conclusion)

Tessie resisted sticking out her tongue. She leaned back and said, with the kind of poise Boyfriend 4 always used when talking about science things, "But it is merely just a proper amount of practice suited to it. Besides, it's just a girly head." Simon couldn't help but smile at her tone.

Sitting up a little, Tessie reflected the smile and said, "I was just thinking the other day. I had a great reason I should've told Santa why he should get me a transforming blaster gun. I thought it real hard because of Santa's mind powers…so he would hear. But I was thinking….This way I can have an older or younger sister at any time. And mom won't have to buy for another person. And with all those old clothes we have from when I was young…they can be used for little sister you…and I don't mind if you wear your regular clothes as my older sister. I was just kidding about the dress. Sorry." She counted off her points and looked at her girl-faced brother softly.

Reflecting a little, Simon had to admit that her reasoning was well-considered.

Tessie responded by mentally blasting the rest of her brother. What remained was a twelve-year-old girl with a lighter build. Her pants were a different cut, the kind she'd seen a junior high girl wearing once. The top was pink. Tessie gave girl-Simon just the slightest hint of breasts because she didn't want to go too far into Evil Puberty.

Girl-Simon turned her head and gave Tessie a look. "Uh…you look like you're spacing out…" It took a little concentration but Tessie could mentally adjust her brother's voice as she listened to it. Girl-Simon crossed her legs a bit more in Tessie's imagining than in real life.

The vision overwhelmed Tessie's thoughts and she grabbed for Simon with a tight hug and a yell of "Big sis!" Simon just stared on in surprise, unable to even come up with an "umm" in reply.

Tessie indulged in her imagination-augmented hug for a while before finally leaning back and grinning at Simon. She added, "Now it's all big sis…you are so cool-looking!"

Simon raised an eyebrow, which showed even more expressively with girl-Simon's slim, dark lashes. After a moment, he asked, "What'd you make me look like?"

The spaced look vanished and Tessie delighted in the details. As she wove more and more in, the sense of the real-life Simon seemed to blend with the girl-Simon. He moved more like he had long-hair. His expression was gentler. He actually did cross his legs a little.

Then Tessie added, on a whim, "Blast blast! You have a tiger tail and ears." To Tessie, an orange-and-black-striped tail slipped out of girl-Simon's jeans through a specially-designed hole. The tail was pressed against the back of the couch but it was still emotive with a curious wave, flipping this way and that like the tail of the orange housecat which lived across the street. The same was true of Simon's orange-and-white tiger ears, which turned forward, despite the fact Tessie wasn't sure if real tiger ears could do that quite so well.

Simon rolled his eyes at this new addition but accepted it without complaint. In that form, Tessie decided it was time for them to go about decorating the tree. The box of all the ornaments was set to one side. Boyfriend 3 had taken it down from the attic.

Inside, there was enough for three trees. Simon and Tessie each took a length of lights and unrolled them from their stored form. Tessie noted, "This will be the beacon for Santa to find us for sure. Nothing draws Santa like a lit Christmas tree." While Simon used a step ladder to get the lights evenly spread, especially at the top, Tessie made sure the tree had enough water.

Once the lights were all set and plugged in, Simon turned them on. They cycled through a hypnotic series of colored twinkles which reflected off girl-Simon's long hair and tiger ears. Tessie asked, "Do you think Santa has a tree too?"

Girl-Simon adjusted her pink top, flicked her tail around, and nodded gently. "Santa would have to have a tree. I mean the North Pole always has a grand tree in all the movies."

Tessie made a little sound. "But those are just movies. They don't know for sure. The real North Pole is all ice…I read in a book…and it's melting too. Do you think it's under the ice or something? Will submarines find it someday?"

Those specially-imagined tiger ears on Girl-Simon's head gave a little wiggle as she noted, "Who is to say that they haven't already found it but they're keeping it a secret?" She pointed out a TV special on Area 51 she happened to see. This was way above Tessie's level, so she had to cede the logic to her older sister.

Next came the garlands, which Tessie tried on like scarves. The silvery ones went first, like dad always used to do. Then the darker colors to follow. There wouldn't be tinsel because mom always complained that it was a mess. They did ornaments instead.

Some of them were little balls from packages. Others were random ones which had been bought in years past. Tessie even found the little silly Santa ornament she made when she was four. With a grin, she took out her imaginary blaster and reduced girl-Simon's age to half of hers, removing the tiger aspects...for the moment.

Little four-year-old girl-Simon stood there in a pink dress with snowmen all over it. Somehow, she managed to telekinetically place objects far higher than herself. Tessie ignored this contradiction and watched her little sis. In her mind, she could see herself picking up her little sister and holding her so she could reach the higher branches.

The faraway smile on Tessie didn't go unnoticed by Simon. She gave a little girl sigh and asked, in the most adorable voice, "What did you give me now?"

This time, Simon pouted about being told he was a little girl, which played well across his imagined features. His efforts to look taller also translated as a little kid standing on her tippy-toes. Tessie mentally added extra lace to Simon's dress.

Some of the ornaments made the two of them fall silent with reminders of olden days, which still had a bitter taste. Others made them smile and laugh, joyful no matter of their association. When the tree was thoroughly covered in them, Santa figures especially, Tessie brushed her hands and announced, "No tree could be more Santa-approved. Don't you agree, little sis?"

Simon nodded despite a dubious expression. For the top, Tessie found an old Santa figure holding a star in his mitts instead of the plain, typical white star topper.

In quite a task of imagining, Tessie visualized that she was the one hoisting little girl Simon to the top of the tree to place the Santa, instead of the other way around.

With that done, they flipped the switch and let the glow fill the room. They sat on the couch to admire it fully.

An ease-willed sigh filling her lungs, Tessie said, "Thank you." Simon shrugged and said only, "You're my sister. No biggie."

With one last little notion of transformation, Tessie mentally zapped Simon once more, this time into her twin. Tessie didn't think about that her mother had long ago told her that she was supposed to have a twin, but that the twin hadn't been strong enough. Same as she didn't think about the long-ago stories that their mother was expecting a girl when she got Simon or about her painful miscarriage four years ago. Tessie only thought about the relaxed closeness of the two of them.

If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

The other Tessie looked back with the same eyes and gentle smile. She wore the same clothes, with only a color shift to set her apart. Tessie took in her twin's presence and relaxed. As she relaxed, she let her imagination ease. Slowly, the long hair receded back to Simon's length and his body resumed its boyish texture.

If she wanted, she could've easily reasserted any of the notions she'd applied to him, but she let them go. For this evening, it was enough to have the caring presence of her brother.

Resting together on the couch, Tessie felt her eyes flutter a bit. She pushed them open suddenly and said, "Oh no! I shouldn't sleep here. What if Santa thinks I'm trying to catch him?!"

Simon rubbed his sister's shoulder. "I'm sure Santa would understand that it wasn't your intent."

Tessie glanced over at the cookies. "They need to go out for Santa…and some milk. Can't forget."

With a smile, Simon assured her that he would take care of the cookies for Santa. Tessie eased away from her worries. She rested against her brother with a long yawn. The warm, soft glow of the lights played all around her like a visual bedtime story.

Though it was early for them both, Simon couldn't resist a quiet little yawn of his own. He watched his sister until she was deeply asleep. He looked upon her shut eyes and smiled.

----

A gasp brought Simon's eyes open. He leaned up from the couch and looked around. It was early morning with a dim sun glinting across the snow through the window. Tessie was on her knees by the tree. She sniffled softly.

Simon stood on staggering feet and asked, "What's wrong, sis?"

Tessie panted through quiet little tears and pronounced, "Santa didn't come…it's not here."

Shaking his head, Simon began, "Oh, Tessie…" but her words flowed over his.

Muffled by the tears draining through her nose, Tessie said, "I don't understand why. Was I not good enough? Did I do too much? Do the wrong things? Ask too much? Maybe Santa thought other kids deserved it more…and plenty of kids deserve lots of things more. But I was really hoping he could answer my wish…maybe it was too silly." Tessie rubbed at her eyes with her hands, but it did nothing to stop tear after tear from falling.

Simon approached his sister and laid a hand on her shoulder. "But Tessie…"

She spoke over him again, "I don't understand…Why there isn't a grown-up who really cares?…Even Santa….I don't understand. What can I do…?" Tessie looked to her brother and his calm face.

He waited a moment, gently rubbing Tessie's little shoulder. "But Tessie…are you sure you looked everywhere under the tree?"

Tessie's face curled up, and she took a breath. "I did. I didn't see anything…"

Simon glanced over and pronounced, "Let me look. Maybe Santa hid it…."

Softly, Tessie's tears slowed. She watched her brother carefully. He ducked under the tree and peered around. After a moment of careful checking at the back of the tree, he came back with a medium-sized, rectangular present that Tessie hadn't seen before. She crouched forward and looked it over. The wrapping looked a little like something she'd seen from a store but not quite. There were little flourishes of decoration. It certainly looked different. It looked special. It looked like Santa may have wrapped it.

Simon held out the gift and Tessie took it gingerly. She set it at her feet and just laid her hands across it at first. She didn't feel brave enough to actually open it until her brother held out a letter opener. Tessie thought about it a moment but decided to open it by hand.

She pulled a little at a corner and unfurled the white paper underneath. A little rip sounded from the package. When nothing bad happened because of the rip, she pulled a little more till she could see what was underneath. It was just a brown box. Slowly, she revealed the rest. Looking at it curiously, she noticed there was tape along the top. She used the opener to slice through the tape and pulled back the lid. Peering into the box, Tessie took a deep breath with wide eyes.

Gently, she reached in and pulled out a silver-painted blaster gun which looked like someone's stylized science experiment. There were detailed areas of white and red with knobs and buttons all along its length. She could see what seemed to be a functioning trigger at the front of the base. The craftsmanship was like something their neighbor down the block did with little birdhouses and mailboxes. There was nothing else in the box but the little blaster.

Marveling at it, Tessie carefully pointed it away and looked at the knobs on the side. They were like small versions of the ones on washing machines. They were labeled with all sorts of things. There was a male/female toggle. And a spinning dial for several human body parts. She could see an animal form toggle too. Some of them were blank with little notes for "create your own". It was amazing. It was just like she hoped. Holding it, she couldn't find any words for what to say about it.

Simon grinned and asked, "Aren't you going to try it?"

Tessie swallowed and asked Simon, "Are you sure it's okay?"

He nodded.

After a moment, Tessie raised the blaster a little. She moved the dials for girl, same age.

She aimed at her brother, took a breath, and pulled the trigger. Her eyes clamped shut a moment. Her brother gasped softly.

When she opened her eyes, Tessie looked on at her brother, same as he always was. He touched his body in surprise and declared, "It worked! Wow!...But I can't really feel all the details. I think it works best if you describe them. Then they become real."

Tessie looked out with confusion. Then she smiled. "Oh! It's just like last night…don't you remember?…Only better! You can feel everything…" And she described her older sister in caring detail.

Simon gasped and felt at the long hair his sister described. He brushed past his arms. He felt his face. With a high-pitched squeak, he rushed off. Tessie clutched her hands to her face and listened as the bathroom door swung open and closed, followed by another squeak. Simon, with wide-eyes, returned to say, "I'm…a girl."

Tessie leapt at and wrapped her arms around him tightly. She hugged him with fresh tears of joy. Simon looked down at her with a gentle smile and hugged back. With quiet words, Tessie said, "Thank you…"

When Tessie finally let go of Simon, she raised her blaster again and said, "You may be a girl now…but you're gonna have those ears and tail too. And we're gonna cook breakfast together as sisters. You get to wear the apron. Okay, sis?"

Simon kept a lingering smile and answered, "Okay, sis. Fire away."

Tessie, set the dials for tiger form, aimed, and squeezed the trigger again.

For Tessie, the thought of the energy shooting out the blaster felt exactly like she'd always imagined.