Quarter Turn: Dear Annie
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TEENAGER LATE ON SWITCHING
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DEAR ANNIE: I am a seventeen-year-old boy, and I have never had my Switch. I've watched all my best friends turn into girls before me and the girl I had a crush on Switched last Friday. I feel so weird and alone! Even my little brother Switched into a teen girl a few months ago. Is there something wrong with me? --- LATE TEEN IN EUGENE, OREGON.
DEAR LATE: Ever since the Switch became a part of everyday life decades ago, doctors and scientists all over the world have searched to understand why most men and women across the globe switch genders every fifteen years. Studies show that more than fifteen percent of men and women, especially teenagers, have an irregular Switch cycle. There are some recorded cases of twenty-year spans between Switches. You are not weird for having an irregular cycle. Growing up isn't predictable to a precise cycle. But remember, your Switch Day will come. You might benefit from contacting the Teens Switch Alliance for support at 1-800-555-2368 or going to their website at ASwitchInOurOwnTime.org.
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DEAR ANNIE: I've been married for twelve years to the man I love. We have three beautiful children. But I'm worried about the future of our family. I have been a woman for fourteen years, ever since I started dating my husband, Roger. Roger's Switch cycle is very close to mine, so I have only ever known him as a man.
During the time since my teens, when I was a man, I found the whole experience painful but tolerable. I only dated men during that time. I have only ever been attracted to men all my life. I love my husband, but I'm afraid our coming Switches will destroy our physical love for one another. I don't know what to do. I feel like our marriage is ending! --- TRADITIONAL MOM IN WICHITA, KANSAS.
DEAR TRADITIONAL: Marriages have long faced the challenges of the modern world, even before the Switches. Challenges will always come up and, if tackled together, can make for a stronger bond in the face of adversity.
And there is a lot of adversity. Currently, one-third of all marriages result in separation by their fifteenth year. This is actually down from the numbers before Switches began. Fear is natural but don't let it overwhelm you. I recommend talking to the older married couples in your family and community who have stayed married through numerous Switches. They have found ways to keep their love alive in spite of lost or adapted physical desire. Through their experiences, you may find the strength, faith, and love you and your family need.
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DEAR ANNIE: I recently celebrated my seventy-fifth birthday. I also took my third turn as a woman. The first time, I married young during the Wars, and gave birth to three daughters. It was somehow satisfying to raise them as both a mother and then as a father when they were growing up and facing their own Switches. By my second time through the 'fairer' sex, all the former mysteries felt mundane. All the turn-ons were the buried ghosts of a teenage boy. I long regretted the genetic 'size' that was passed along in the women in my family. And now, I feel like I'm at a point where I don't know if I'm really more an old man or an old woman. I'm not really sure what either of those words mean anymore. I'm just tired of switching. I feel like once I've finally got one side right, it's time to switch over. What do I do now? -- TIRED OF TURNS IN KALAMAZOO, MICHIGAN.
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DEAR TIRED: Congratulations on your birthday! For those who have been Switched several times, the profundity of the experience can become lost with the regularity. Life can also be the same way. Enthusiasm for life and experiences can wane without purpose late in life.
You need to find what captivates you. Share your experiences with your grandchildren. Nurture them in their concerns and curiosity. Make projects and goals as their grandmother. Cycles can be repetitive, but they also offer opportunities to try again as well as take different approaches. Keeping your experiences fresh will also keep your body healthy and your mind active.
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DEAR ANNIE: I am ten years old and I don't want to be a girl! In school, they're talking about the Switch. I'm worried. They say that one day I'm going to wake up as a girl. I don't understand why we have to Switch. I like being a boy. My mom says it is years away and I don't have to worry. But if you know any way I can not have to turn into a girl, could you please tell me? – NOT A GIRL IN DALLAS, TEXAS.
DEAR NOT A GIRL: Most people Switch around their fifteenth birthday, so it will likely be a few years for you. Still, it is good that your school is talking about the Switch. In a few years, you'll start having special classes that talk about the Switch more.
The cause of the Switch isn't known, but it started suddenly halfway through the Wars in the last century. For a long time, there were rumors of people immune to the Switch. To this day, no one with immunity has been found.
The Switch may sound scary now, but it's just one of so many changes that will happen to you as you grow up. The best way to overcome your worries is to ask as many questions as you need. While your family will decide when it's the right time to tell you some things, you should ask them about things you might be worried about. They can tell you what it feels like to Switch and they can debunk the myths you may have heard from other students. With knowledge, you won't have to be afraid of what will happen to you as you grow up.
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Dear Annie is written by Anna D. Fermine, also known as Connie Weston, and was originated by her mother, the late Robert Paulson. Write Dear Annie at Quarter-Turn-Press.com/Dear-Annie.