“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep some more? You look awful.”
“Thanks Jean, but no. I’m kind of tired of sleeping right now.”
“I mean, if you’re sure... Say something if you need anything though, okay?”
“Heh, what a kind and caring leader we have.”
“Sh- Shut up!”
“Oh brave leader, wherefore might your second subordinate have gone?”
“What…? You mean Ren? Shut up with the leader thing, ok?! She’s just busy helping Elillith make some food!”
“Huh, that never happens. Usually she just watches since she’s so worried she’ll mess up.”
“Yeah well, ever since the day you woke up she said she’s going to ‘try her best from now on’.”
“That’s great. That’s really… great… Hrng.”
“I knew it! You do look awful! Is it your [Gift] again?”
“Hfff… Yeah... Ever since I woke up it’s been coming and going. Being close to Noth helps, but since he’s in whatever state he’s in now, he’s not blocking my [Gift] all the time like he used to.”
“...I hope that’s not some sort of bad sign or something.”
“... Me too.”
The sad way the children’s conversation trailed off hurt the still unmoving Noth’s heart. He was very happy to know that Helt had finally woken up, but he was sure that himself still being asleep like this was putting a damper on everyone’s happiness, including his own. Why was he still unable to wake up? Why was he having all these dreams of his previous self? Was this because of the sudden influx of energy he’d gotten from the archdemon being slain? And why was it going into him in the first place, when it was clearly Serris who’d finished her off? Was demonic energy too dirty for an angel’s holy body or something, so it all just sucked into him instead? Was it due to the bracelet link? He could feel that the small extra flickers of energy he’d gained from killing the previous packs of demons was nowhere near the radiating star of energy that he now possessed. Just how strong had that archdemon been? Why had she let him kill off her lackeys so easily if she'd had so much power inside of her?
Suddenly Noth’s eyes opened, and his vision was filled with his angel’s smiling face.
“...What?”
Noth’s weak voice came out sounding hoarse from how dry his throat felt. He raised his arm to cover his mouth as he let out a rough sounding cough, and both of the children at his side immediately stood up and crowded him. They shouted his name in unison, and before long Jean came to her senses and offered Noth a cup of water.
“Noth, you’re back! We were so worried when we found out you’d passed out too!”
Jean’s words and hands both trembled, and for a moment Noth was worried that she might spill the cup of water on him before he could take it from her. As he carefully if weakly removed the cup from her hands and began to take a refreshing sip, Helt’s small purple hands shakily gripped onto the hem of Noth’s shirt.
“When I woke up and learned that you’d also collapsed, I couldn’t help but feel like it was all my fault. Because I strained my [Gift] too far and passed out, I put too big of a burden on you when you were already so busy. Noth, I’m… I’m ashamed of myself. I’ve been using you to hold off the pain of my [Gift] for too long, and I haven’t learned to control this [Curse] of mine at all. I’m a failure of a Krysthid. I… Maybe it’s for the best that the pain isn’t being blocked anymore.”
The small amethyst boy’s eyes began to leak. His tears that streaked down his cheeks were exceptionally pearlescent, and sparkled as they fell. Noth could imagine a statue dedicated to this picture making quite a lot of money in an auction somewhere. No wonder people often tried to abduct wandering Krysthids. It was a good thing they were usually equipped with amazing [Gifts], otherwise they’d be stolen left and right.
Noth raised his hand with great difficulty and wiped away the shining tears. Helt’s words had most likely been from the heart, but they sounded too practiced, and the boy sounded like they’d hurt him to say. And even more suspicious, Helt usually never spoke for so long unless he found what he was saying completely necessary. The boy must have thought out this whole self-admonishing speech, and had promised himself that he’d say it to Noth once he’d finally gotten the chance. Thinking such harmful words to yourself was one thing, but forcing yourself to say them out loud to someone was just a step worse. Helt must have been feeling completely awful about himself right now.
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
How could he let his younger brother hurt himself like that?
“I see no such failure here. All I see is a young boy who feels bad that he might have let his older brother down. And as that brother, I can promise you, you’re doing just fine, Helt. You’re not a failure, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. All you are is a kid with a very difficult [Gift] who’s trying to live his life as best as he can, and that’s amazing already. Do you think I’d just let my family roam around willy-nilly hurting themselves for no good reason? Of course I wouldn’t just let that happen!”
“Ah, but… but I can’t… I can’t just rely on you to hold back my [Gift] for me forever! I’m… It’s my [Gift], how can… You’ve already done so much, and…”
For a moment Helt’s tears had stopped, and he looked so relieved. However, the slight smile he’d shown quickly turned turbulent, and the tears started gushing out anew. The small boy’s grip on Noth’s clothes grew just a tad tighter than before. Noth was worried that he’d failed to console Helt even the tiniest bit, but as he fretted over how to successfully pacify the boy, suddenly Jean’s voice cut in.
“Ugh, none of this is like you at all! You’re being such a big crybaby.”
Jean leaned over and hugged Helt tight, their purple hues of hair entangling together as she nuzzled her head against his own.
“You act all high and mighty telling me about me and how I feel, but look at you being such a mess over here. Look, Noth obviously doesn’t care about you using him so you aren’t in pain all the time. If Ren or I could do it, we’d also help in a heartbeat too. None of us would think you’re some kind of burden or anything, so stop feeling guilty over nothing! We’re not just being kind, and not even an archdemon was enough to kill off Noth, so you don’t have to be scared about what’ll happen to you if he wasn’t around, alright? It’s perfectly normal to think about those things! Gosh, you never talk about this stuff with us, stop just bottling everything up, you ninny!”
Even through Jean’s deluge of cold truths, she never stopped hugging and nuzzling Helt. Noth couldn’t help but smile seeing the clash of a rough chiding mixed with such a sweet display of love. This, too, would make a wonderful picture. Or perhaps a beautiful porcelain ornament would suit the scene better. The healthy lavender shine of Jean’s luscious hair mixing with the gleaming tint of amethyst that Helt’s stiff hair had was lovely all on its own. Perhaps the flies who’d bothered Noth were correct, maybe his little siblings were a tad too beautiful. It made Noth feel like he might look a bit too plain standing next to them all. He’d have to diligently protect them from the wrong kind of people’s eyes from now on, lest they be stolen by perverts in the future.
Helt sniffled hard a few times, and by the end of Jean’s rant the sad winds seemed to have already left the boy’s sails. Now his face only looked slightly embarrassed, instead of agonized. He kept sending shy glances towards Jean and Noth, and eventually when he was ready to speak again he gently moved away from Jean and bowed his head.
“I’m sorry for acting like this. My feelings got away from me.”
Jean scoffed at his words and crossed her arms.
“And you say I’m the one who always tries to act mature. I’m never letting you do that again!”
Even with her harsh words, Noth could see the way she stealthily reached under her arm to tug on a corner of Helt’s shirt as she spoke. Helt’s soft smile at her actions confirmed that he’d noticed it as well.
“...Thank you, Jean, Noth.”
“Hmph. That’s a much better try than the last one. Alright, let’s get out of here and… Oh. Hey, Noth.”
Jean began to get up and leave, but suddenly she turned around and delivered a hand mirror to Noth.
“Your hair really likes to do weird stuff, huh? Figured it’s better for you to notice sooner rather than later, in case it meant something important.”
Helt made a soft gasping sound as if the topic had completely slipped his mind, and then nodded. Throughout their time together, what with the fluctuation of Noth’s powers and the changes in his bond with Serris, Noth’s hair had seemed to randomly grow, shrink, or gain more or less colour in the children’s view. They weren’t too shocked that it had suddenly changed again this time, but they still felt that it was something that warranted reporting.
Noth took the mirror and looked into it, examining himself. He’d expected that perhaps his hair was now turning white at the roots, as if the black of his hair was fading away to match Serris’s. It would make sense, considering that he’d just gained such a massive influx of power; Such things usually led to their bond deepening and his powers growing stronger. However, in an odd turn of events, the usual thumb-length of orange that decorated the ends of his hair had now been replaced, instead becoming a deep, unfathomable purple. It almost reminded him of the last hoorah of a setting sun. To be honest, he quite preferred it to the garish rusty red that he’d grown for the last few years.
But of course, this sudden change begged the question:
Why had his hair, that had previously reflected his bond, suddenly turned a seemingly unrelated colour?
The reason was obviously because of the massive amount of energy he’d gotten from the archdemon; That was the only recent event that made sense to think of. However, the archdemon had been more of a magenta hue, whereas this purple was only a few shades off of black. Perhaps you could classify them as both being a shade of purple, but the comparison didn’t quite feel fair. And as far as Noth could remember, nothing else that had happened recently in his life had anything to do with such a deep purple either. The closest had been the blue hues of the demons he’d fought against. Could it be that the colour of his hair was some transitional colour between the blues of the demons and the magenta of the archdemon? If he thought about it hard enough it seemed to make sense, but then... Could it be that he hadn’t managed to absorb all the power of the archdemon? Was that why he was left with such an incomplete purple? And why had her colour overwritten the rust from the angel he was bonded with in the first place?
Noth turned his head towards Serris, about to ask her to confirm his theories, when the angel suddenly wrapped her arms around him from the side and leaned in close. She whispered as if the children might somehow be able to overhear her.
“Ah…”
Both Jean’s and Helt's eyes were still glued onto him, seemingly having been waiting for some kind of clue as to why his hair had changed.