Noth was walking through the gate to the Kieran manor.
He was there to…
To…
He was visiting his father before he had to go to the noble’s banquet. The nation’s army would be sent out in two weeks to deal with a threatening hoard of elite monsters that were approaching the North of the country, and Ruth Kieran, being the commander of said army, would of course be going along with them. Since Noth would have to go into the lion’s den all alone, he was hoping to grab a bit of information about it beforehand. Serris, his angel, was there, and Elillith had come along with him since she wanted to visit the manor she’d once spent so much of her life in. The children didn’t come along because…
The children stayed behind to watch over the town while he was away. Noth knew he could trust them to keep the town in order well enough, and they shouldn’t have been in any kind of danger that they wouldn’t be able to handle. Besides, it would be good for them to have some quality time alone together, without any adults getting in the way of their bonding. It seemed that with the stress of all the events lately, they hadn’t gotten much time to just be children together.
It was so wonderful how close of friends the three of them were.
Now, without Noth hovering around and putting pressures on them, they could truly enjoy their youths together.
They especially needed a bonding session after-
After…
Yes, Noth’s father had always been anxious ever since he’d moved away. The man would often send letters, wanting to know everything about what his son had been doing where he couldn’t see him. This clinginess was something Noth had known his father had always possessed when they’d lived together, but had become much more apparent once the two were apart. Noth wasn’t sure how to handle such a thing, especially from someone who’d been imprinted in his childhood perception as a person who was supposed to be aloof. It was so hard to keep believing that a man who loved his son so much could have ever been such a monster. Perhaps if he still didn’t remember his childhood trauma so vividly, he would have been able to forget all the bad things in his life that Ruth Keiran had caused by now.
“Noth!”
Before Noth’s hazy eyes could manage to turn towards his angel in confusion, his father burst from the manor’s door, running as fast as he could to reach his beloved son. Tight, squeezing hugs were given, and a respectful handshake was even offered to Elillith, before Ruth Kieran quickly redirected all of his attention back to his boy.
“My son, you’ve finally returned! You’re growing to look more and more like me every day. I suppose I can’t say you only take after your mother anymore, look how much you’ve matured into a noble young man! And look, your hair’s even changed colour again! You-”
His father's words abruptly stopped as he quickly took hold of Noth’s chin, and gently turned the teen’s face side to side a bit as he studied him.
“What’s wrong with your eyes? Are you tired? Has life as a lord been a bit too stressful for you? I understand, I was like that at first too. Come, come inside and rest! We can have our emotional reunion later at supper.”
Noth let his lifeless feeling body be dragged along by his father. He’d done his best to focus on the man in front of him as he spoke, but for some reason he just couldn’t seem to. It was as if his mind was foggy, or like something had been wedged into it, like a dam made to block a river. He could vaguely make out that the man in front of him was for sure his father, and he could feel that his mind wanted him to be happy over the fact that he was seeing his family again, but for some reason the emotion just… didn’t seem to become real. In a way, he almost felt like a puppet just acting out a play, or maybe a bystander with no ability to alter the play he was watching.
He couldn’t help but realize that there was something decidedly wrong about everything.
The fog was getting thicker, he could feel it.
It was so hard to think…
So hard…
Perhaps his father was right, he really did need to lay down.
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Noth closed his eyes, and entrusted himself to his father’s leading hand.
***
“Elillith.”
“Yes, M’lord.”
“I know you and Natalia were close.”
“...Yes, M’lord.”
“I know you must hate me, maybe even worse than I already hate myself.”
“... … Yes, M’lord.”
“I also know how much you must treasure my son, since you left the place Natalia once was to be with him.”
“I do, M’lord.”
“Hah, you didn’t hesitate that time, did you? I’m glad. My son deserves your affection, just as Natalia did. …And will he always be so important to you?”
“B'lieve so, M’lord.”
“Good, then what I’m about to ask of you will be very important, even if you hate me. Elillith, there’s a chance that I won’t make it back from this mission. I’m sure you can tell, I’m not as strong as I once was. If anything, I’m just a shell of the man I was in the past. After Natalia died, I… Yes, I’m not strong enough anymore, and worst of all, I’m sure the pope knows it. He doesn’t need a weak man in charge of his armies, and this is a perfect opportunity to rid himself of me. It’s very likely that even if I manage to fend off the monsters, something else might befall me. And… And what’s more… I’m tired, Elillith.”
“...Wha' d’you need?”
“I’m sure my son is strong enough to handle himself if something happens, and I’m sure those kids of his give him plenty of the love I failed to properly give him… But even with all of that, he’s still just a child in many ways. The boy needs an adult he can trust in, and I fear that I’ve failed him on that many times over. I’m sure Natalia would be mad at me for how I’ve let him develop so far, so… Please, help him make the right choices instead of us.”
“...I d’no that ‘m the best choice f’r that…”
“But-!”
“But I c’n try.”
“Thank you, Elillith… Thank you.”
“I’s not f’r you.”
“I know. I know it’s not. But still, thank you.”
***
Dinnertime was loud, filled with the unending inquiries of Noth’s father. The teen’s struggling mind had gotten a small bit better from the rest he’d taken, and although he was still having trouble remembering a good many things, he was now at least aware enough to respond to a few of his father’s waterfall-like questions. In fact, at one point he couldn’t help but wonder whether or not he got his insatiable curiosity from his father. It’s true that if he were away from one of the children for a year, Noth might have had just as many questions to ask of them…
Noth didn’t like that train of thought very much, though.
The clearer that Noth’s mind got, the more that he couldn’t help but feel disturbed by how little he could remember. All night, even through the distraction of his father’s questions, he could feel something like an odd suppression pressing against his mind. The feeling was akin to hearing a song you vaguely knew through blocked ears, and desperately trying to recall how the words went. He knew he should have known what was missing, but his mind simply refused to let him know exactly what it was. Even as he laid in one of the guest beds at night, hours after the end of dinner, he still couldn’t seem to force out the memory.
And that was another thing, his angel was acting strangely. She wasn’t nearly as clingy as she usually was, nor did she say snarky disparaging things about the other people around him. In fact, when was the last time Noth had actually looked directly at her? He hadn’t caught a single glimpse of her all night, even though he could feel her presence nearby. He was sure he’d heard her voice a bunch of times, but…
There was another voice calling to him, louder and deeper, a voice he couldn't possibly turn away from.
~~~
The halls felt strange. They were all so familiar, but yet at the same time, they looked somehow off. It was like he was seeing something that he’d always only seen lit up by the sun now lit up by the moon. Everything felt so uneasy, and the small hairs on Noth’s body felt as if they were all standing up. Even the air seemed to caress him differently than usual. Noth could hear the sounds of his angel talking to him, but for some reason she sounded so very far away as he trudged through the halls. Instead, the only things that the teen could hear clearly were his own heartbeat, and a voice from deep inside of him.
-It looks so different now. Everything is brighter, and there’re even servants.-
Yes, and his father was here.
-And he’s still the lord. We're the lord of somewhere else now, I see. Everywhere we end up taking over only gets to have a few people, huh?-
But those people were the most important to him, in both lives.
-One of those people is hiding something from you right now, though. Isn’t that bad?-
So Serris was the one who had caused the fogginess in his memories. He’d been worried that that might have been the case, but…
-Do you want to know the truth?-
…Noth couldn’t help but agree. He was too curious to just let something possibly important be hidden like that, even if it was what Serris wanted. He also couldn’t deny that he was a bit scared that she had the ability to alter his memory in the first place.
-Well, even if she betrays you, at least you’ll always have me with you.-
Noth couldn’t help but frown at those words, even if they were meant to be comforting. Contrarily, the voice deep down inside of him smiled a contrite little smile.
-I know it’s not terribly comforting, but so long as you remember being me it will always be true.-
The bracelet on the teen’s arm began to heat, and slowly a purple glow began to creep up from his throat as his eyes closed.
-Come talk to me for a while. Let’s remember together.-
~~~
Noth’s eyes opened. The bed behind him was soft. The sun was bright. The angel next to him looked scared. His mind was finally cleared.