As Noth motionlessly listened to the children’s antics, his mind wandered back to the dream he’d seen. He really wanted to believe that it was purely just a dream, but something inside of him wouldn’t stop nagging about it. When he paid attention to it a bit more closely, he could tell that it had the same feel to it as the vague collage of dreams he’d had before he’d decided to confront his father. So then did that mean it was a… dream of his past self? The one that the angel had loved enough to save the current him? The one she’d said had a wild, general-like look? …But why would she have liked such a tortured and broken person?

A version of himself that had chosen a [Gift]... If Noth was remembering correctly, Serris had said he’d unknowingly chosen [Monstrous Strength] as his [Gift] so that he could defeat his dad. It made sense. His father was strong; What better way could a child have thought of to defeat someone strong, than to become even stronger than them? And Noth did always have that fascination with monsters… But then why had he become some kind of mass killer? Was it because ‘Monstrous’ was in the name? But there had been other people in history blessed with Monstrous [Gifts] that hadn’t become mass murderers or done anything truly evil, it was merely a qualifier. The few people who had been given ‘Heavenly’ qualifiers hadn’t suddenly become angels or only done good things, so that most likely had no effect on their actions.

Noth once again thought over the conversation he’d heard from the girls. So people were compelled to use their [Gift] no matter what? There are a number of ways to use [Strength] out there, so why had his previous self settled on taking lives? Not every [Carpenter] only built houses or furniture, some made art or decorations; The possible uses for a [Gift] weren’t so cut and dry. The previous Noth could have used his strength to help build things, or fight monsters, or join the army, or even demolish houses for God-dess’s sake! So why did he go for the very worst option?! Was it because his life had been so awful up until then, that he wanted to take revenge on the world? Was he just predisposed to murder and he’d never realized? Or maybe he’d truly gone insane from killing his father?

What made normal people choose the paths that they went down? They felt good using their [Gifts], and it mentally made a big mark on them immediately, so… Was it maybe the case that people usually grew attached to whatever they first used their [Gift] for? Jean liked using her [Gift] to make people comply or do something for her, even though she felt bad doing it, but she could have easily chosen to use her [Gift] to make people flock to her and adore her. She could have used her power to become a massive idol that everyone loved and would naturally do anything for without her ever having to say a single word, but instead she chose a more humble life of subtle occasional manipulation. Was that just because of her personality, or was it because she was stuck on the first thing she’d learned to do? Anytime she’d consciously used her [Gift] to attract attention she looked like she hated it, but if she used it to bend someone to her will for a task they previously didn’t want to do she looked pleased, if only for a moment. Likewise, any of the maids from his father’s manor seemed to enjoy their maidly duties, but if they were made to do work that technically still fell into the scope of their [Gift], like helping nurse someone, they looked less as thrilled. Plenty of maids worked in hospitals and helped do those same kinds of jobs, so what was causing the divide?

The more Noth thought about it, the more he believed that he might be right. People gravitated towards whatever set of actions first brought them the sense of pleasure from using their [Gift]. Perhaps it was like repeating an action again to hopefully get the same resulting thrill out of it? Could it be that the pleasure of using your [Gift] for something else was not as good as that first thrill they’d gotten, so they subconsciously decide it’s not worthwhile? Was everyone just going about their lives chasing the high of the first good feeling they felt? …If that was the case, then didn’t that mean that the God-dess was truly drugging everyone to follow its will? Why would a literal god need to go to such measures to be obeyed? Why did it need to set up angels and prophets and the like to mould the world to its whims; Shouldn’t a god be all powerful? Judging from the power of the angels, the God-dess surely must have been obscenely strong.

What could possibly have put limitations on such a strong being? What could have possibly forced the God-dess to use the angels as its arms and legs? Why did it let the demons it despised roam free? Why did it despise them in the first place? Didn’t it create every living creature exactly how it wished? Why make them just to hate them? Why send Noth and his angel to kill them? Weren’t such intricate and strong beings made for some kind of purpose?

Noth’s curious mind felt the inconsistencies in his perception of the God-dess growing. The mere realization that he could even have such blasphemous thoughts about an all powerful god without any repercussions also seemed wrong. The God-dess he’d learned about from the prophet wasn’t someone so benevolent and forgiving that they would just allow people to question them, and yet the closest thing that Noth had ever heard or seen about the God-dess in a negative light was the theory Jean had spoken of, that the [Gifts] were the God-dess’s way to control the humans. If he with his young mind could spot such oddities in the narrative of the world, then why had no one else ever voiced them? Was it supressed because the theocracy would never allow such slander upon their god? Was it because Noth was special since he had a bond to an angel? Was it because he was living a different life than he was destined to? Or maybe…

Maybe it was because he was currently outside of the God-dess’s system?

Yes, he was attached to a literal piece of the God-dess, but unlike everyone else in the world besides a few very young children, Noth had never actually been given a [Gift]. Being a [Chosen] like he was told he now was didn’t actually have anything to do with [Gifts] per say, and if anything it had removed the chance of ever actually getting one from the equation. Being a [Chosen] wasn’t what gave him the ability to use Serris’s powers, Serris and the bracelet that connected them were what did it. It wasn’t like he was being persuaded or forced to make use of his wishes and demands by any outside mystical drug-like force; Noth used his powers because they were just what he felt like doing at the time. There was no hit of ecstasy, no good feeling behind it. The closest he’d ever come to feeling like that was when he’d eaten the ‘God-dess’s Love’ flower, and even that feeling seemed to have been dimmed in comparison to how it would have affected the average person, at least from what Serris had told him.

…Could it be that the people blessed with [Choose Your Own Path] were truly the only ones that were free?

Was the pope’s decision to defame them more than just a jealousy based move?

Was he afraid that such a people would escape from beneath the God-dess’s thumb?

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Was that why the God-dess never told the prophet to correct the pope?

And now with the power balance shifted as it is, either the ugly ducklings are killed off by the brainwashed bigoted [Gifted] people, or choose to join their ranks.

But then why was the God-dess still allowing people to have that [Gift] in the first place if it didn’t like it so much?!

Noth’s mind was positively swimming with these new, possible, all too likely revelations. He didn’t want to believe how scarily true they all sounded. But how could he ever verify them? If he asked Serris she would just clam up under the God-dess’s suppression again. Asking the prophet might just yield the same effect. Was he just going to be stuck with such sinister unverified knowledge?

For the first time since he awoke, Noth’s eyes opened. His gaze strained to the angel that sat against the headboard of his bed. Her smile was clearly melancholic, and Noth could almost see tear-streaks running down her face. Her hand came over to lovingly stroke his cheeks and then covered his eyes, stopping his concerned gaze.

Serris leaned down and planted a kiss upon Noth’s head.

When she came back up, the teen was sleeping soundly once again.

___

People had come many times to stop the monster.

Valiant knights under the banner of the church.

Assassins sneaking in under the shroud of night.

The stronger the assailant, the more the monster’s [Gift] was pleased.

It was as if the church was sending him love letters.

For a time the monster didn’t even need to leave his den.

The intruders showed up almost constantly.

Some of them put up such wonderful fights that his madness was appeased for nearly a week.

The monster was no longer in agony trying to fight back against the hand that controlled him.

For once it felt like his mind could finally think.

Eventually the church stopped sending people to their deaths as frequently.

The monster was worried that he might have to go back to his previous life of hunting down the weak.

But luckily one day someone new appeared.

He was younger than most of the others.

…And he was also much more annoying.

Despite how annoying the boy was, the monster still had fun.

They would fight often, and for the first time the monster did not get to kill his prey.

Sometimes the boy would bring others along, but by some odd strokes of fate, they too were protected by the boy.

The monster was surprised that his [Gift] could be sated by such silly play fighting.

And yet somehow all it wanted was to try to kill this one young man.

It seemed the boy had come for his bracelet?

The boy said that if the monster gave it to him, he would let him go.

…By now the monster didn’t even remember the face of his mother.

All warmth had long since escaped from the world.

But how could he give up the bracelet and lose the one comfort that he’d finally found?

The monster guarded the bracelet like a dragon would its treasure from then on.

If the boy was going to get it from him, then he’d have to finally beat him.

Only when the monster was dead and was no longer able to hurt people…

That’s when the boy would get the bracelet.

If it was this boy, then one day maybe the raging monster Noth had become could finally be put to rest.

___

Noth opened his eyes again. This time there were no quietly talking children, only a lone woman carefully tidying up the room. She moved slowly, almost lethargically, but it was obvious that she did everything with a practiced hand. Noth tried to sit up, but his body was still too weak. He parted his lips by the tiniest amount, but no noise would escape. Still, somehow Elillith’s gaze still slowly came his way, as if she’d heard his call. She came to his side and placed her hand on his forehead. Her eyes stared past his barely opened eyelids. When she decided that he still had a fever, she nodded and tucked him back in.

“Rest, Noth.”

She so rarely called the teen by his name, and the way that she stated her words so firmly and clearly with conviction was equally bas surprising. Noth couldn’t help but keep looking at her, wondering how his first friend must have been feeling at the moment to have dropped her usual quirks like this. Sadly, her typical expressionless doll face was the only thing that greeted him back. Elillith was still, as ever, hard to get a read on.

Suddenly an odd thought came to Noth.

…Wasn’t Elillith supposed to be [Unafflicted]?

Then how was she using her [Gift]?

Everyone was compelled to use it, right?

Why had he never once seen her do it?

Was she sneaking around using it in secret?

Or maybe had she been indulging in it right in front of them all, and he’d never noticed?

She did have that poker face of hers…

If she’d eaten poison right in front of him, would he have ever known?

Or…

Or could it be that the reason she was always so low energy and uncaring was because she couldn’t use her [Gift]?

Crazy though it was, Noth seriously debated wishing up some poison to let Elillith use her [Gift]. Of course, a moment later he received a gentle thwap on the head, along with some admonishment from his exasperated angel. Soon after, he was once again put back to sleep.