Evelyn felt the therapy session wrapping up. She went in smiling, but it was impossible to keep smiling while she talked with her therapist. The truth was, it hurt. Hurt in a way that felt permanent. Now that everything was out there, she could see all the crushed pieces of herself and was trying so hard not to feel broken.

“You’ve done a brave thing today,” Gemma said. Despite the multiple plaques hanging in her office showing how much school she’d attended, Gemma was adamant that Evelyn call her by her first name.

“I don’t feel very brave.”

“Everyone doing courageous things rarely feels brave. It’s what makes it so brave in the first place.”

Evelyn tried to smile, but it soon faltered. Her shoes were off, because Gemma was all about doing whatever was comfortable, and she wanted to take off her shoes and hug her legs the entire time. “I just…” Despite the session almost finishing, Evelyn didn’t want to dive into this, but Gemma simply raised her eyebrows, encouraging her to continue. Evelyn sighed. “I keep… having this strange thought that… that I’d have to see Rafael again. That we’d… I don’t know, have to work together on some… project. To be forced together again. It’s silly, but…” But it’s actually true and I wish I could also tell you about CCNC and how it’s some sort of portal into our world and there is literally an elf princess sleeping in my room for four hours and we go on wild adventures, including with Rafael’s character. How am I supposed to handle this? The fate of our characters depends on us working together, and I can’t. I simply can’t.

Gemma just smiled. “The story is out, Evelyn. As painful as it is, it means your teachers are more aware of your situation. They’d never do that to you. Even if they tried, you can say no. You have the right to be heard.”

Evelyn nodded because they expected it of her. “I guess it’s the overactive imagination I have.” She forced a chuckle out of her. “Imagining end of the world scenarios. Zombie apocalypses. Situations like that where I… need to work with Rafael in order to save the world.”

Gemma smiled, her eyebrows raising again. “What an active imagination indeed! Let’s explore it.”

Her heart started bouncing. “Really?”

“Why not? If you brought it up now, it’s clearly more than a fleeting idea. It must have kept you up some nights.”

She hugged her legs all the tighter. “Yeah. Some nights.”

Gemma smiled again. “So you’re in an apocalyptic situation and you must partner up with Rafael in order to save the world. What’s the first thing you do?”

Evelyn stared at Gemma, not sure how to answer that question, but as with most things, she posed a question that helped her face the mountain of confusion in her head. “I… figure out the full extent of the situation before partnering with him.” Wait to hear what the creator of CCNC says before going to another session with him.

Gemma nodded. “Sounds like a plan. And if you realize you have to work with Rafael? To save the world?”

Evelyn stared at Gemma, remaining quiet with her thoughts. “I… don’t know. I… still hate him. Still don’t want to be near him. Annoyed as hell that Hazel, his girlfriend, still wants to date him, even though I said it was okay. It’s hard enough cheering with Hazel. I don’t think… I don’t think I could ever work with Rafael.”

Gemma nodded, then spun on her chair toward her desk. “Our time is out, but if you’d like, we could pick up this scenario next week.”

“Yeah.” Evelyn let go of her legs, and they dropped to the floor.

“After all, it’s not like the end of the world is coming next week,” Gemma said.

Evelyn couldn’t help it and winced. But she forced herself to smile. “Yeah, thankfully not.”

Gemma smiled. “That’s the spirit.”

She signed up for another session, then thanked her and left. She felt hollow, like her insides had been scraped out and left for people to dissect.

She walked outside to see Walt and waved before getting into the passenger side. “Hey.” She grabbed her seat belt.

“Hey, my girl. How’d it go?”

The seatbelt tightened against her waist. “Good. It was a first session, but I think it went well. I like her.”

“Happy to hear that.” Walt backed out of the parking lot. “We can always change therapists if you don’t like her.”

“She’s pretty chill. I think I need ‘pretty chill’ right now,” Evelyn said.

“Okay, good.”

They drove down the street, and it was quiet. Evelyn took out her phone, scrolling through it out of habit.

“It seems so out of character for him,” Walt said out of the blue.

Evelyn glanced up. “Sorry, what?”

“Rafael. Such an odd thing for him to do. Out of character.”

Evelyn wasn’t sure what to say, but she recognized the tar-like feeling forming in her gut. Thick, heavy, and threatening to pull her in.

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Her dad tapped on the wheel. “He’s more than made up for it, though. Good kid.” Evelyn gripped her phone, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. “Great grades.” He raised a finger, keeping his eyes on the road. “Now that’s a kid who understands consequences of one’s actions. Really got his head on straight.”

The phone she needed for a distraction started shaking. “Can we… not? I don’t want to talk about Rafael.”

“Right. Of course not.” Walt chuckled. “Probably talked about him enough in therapy.”

Evelyn didn’t smile. She pretended to keep scrolling on her phone as Walt turned on the radio to some old people's music. She rubbed the side of her face between her eyebrow and hairline to keep the tears from forming. The shaking in her hand never went away.

As soon as the car pulled into the driveway, she got out of the car. “I’m going on a run, okay?”

“Yeah, of course. Take your phone,” Walt said.

Evelyn didn’t answer. She went to her room, changed into some shorts and a tank top, before placing her phone in her pocket. It was dark, but she tried not to worry. Somehow, going for a run at night seemed safer than staying with Walt. Which is when she admitted to herself that neither was safe, but she needed to escape.

Her mind shut off as the feeling of ickiness returned. Walt clearly still thought the best of Rafael. She didn’t like to think of people picking sides, but it was happening anyway. Her side and Rafael’s. And Walt clarified tonight which side he was on. So many people were on his side.

Betrayal. That’s what this felt like. She shouldn’t have expected anything less. It was Walt, after all. She didn’t consider him a great father.

Evelyn kept running, kept her emotions in check. Refused to cry. It would make it harder to run if she sobbed.

Perhaps this is how Nick felt before he made his destructive choice. Walt often compared Nick to Rafael a lot, and it was often how Nick fell short. They had been such good friends that it hadn’t mattered. At least, when it had, Rafael usually told Walt off in the most diplomatic way possible. But now…

At first, there was no goal to her run. She wanted to get out of the house, away from Walt. Moonsparkle, however, was impossible to miss. Even in the moonlight, there was a beautiful glow to her. Evelyn stopped running, hands on her hips as she looked at the unicorn right on the outskirts of town. There was some movement, and she turned to see Clarissa approaching the unicorn with a basket. Evelyn’s eyes filled with tears, and she forced them back. She couldn’t cry. If she did, she wouldn’t stop.

She approached slowly, and it didn’t take long for Moonsparkle to notice her. Clarissa turned, her face breaking into a smile. “Evelyn. Hello!” The smile faded. “You are… hurt.” Evelyn glanced around, wondering if she’d got snagged by a branch. Clarissa moved the basket to her hip. “No, I mean… your heart. It is heavy. Moonsparkle told me.”

Evelyn sighed as she walked up to them. “I’m… fine.” Moonsparkle snorted. Clarissa smiled, glancing behind her shoulder at the unicorn. Evelyn waved her arm. “I’ve spent an hour talking about it. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“So, you said a white lie to get out of a conversation you don’t want to have.” Clarissa smiled, then brushed some hair from Evelyn’s face. “You poor girl.” Clarissa handed her the basket. “Want to feed Moonsparkle?”

“Yes, please.” Evelyn looked down at the basket and noticed it was a bunch of chopped up cacti. “Won’t this hurt her?”

“No,” Clarissa said.

She trusted the process and walked over carefully. Still aware that Moonsparkle was an animal of healing, but also one of death. She offered the basket, and Moonsparkle reached forward, sniffing before nibbling. Evelyn adjusted the basket to have a free hand before she reached out, her hand running through the golden mane. Evelyn’s chin quivered. This was a job for Clarissa. Clarissa, the pure desert elf who was perfect in every way.

Evelyn glanced at her character, who started speaking in elvish as she brushed Moonsparkle’s neck with a handmade comb. The unicorn sighed in return, and Clarissa giggled before speaking more. Tears dropped as desperately as Evelyn trying to hide them.

“Evie?” Clarissa asked.

She sniffed, focusing on the unicorn as she talked to them both. “You’re so… cool. You’re perfect. I don’t…”

Clarissa frowned. “Perfect?”

Evelyn shook her head, placing her hand on Moonsparkle’s nose. “I’m in awe, that’s all.” She wiped some tears from her face. Clarissa took the basket from her.

“I’m not perfect. I spent well over a hundred years in my parents’ home before I went adventuring. Watching my brother have all the adventures. Protecting our realm and doing it well.” Clarissa’s face dropped. Evelyn didn’t need to be her creator to know her druid felt a deep sense of homesickness.

Evelyn focused again on Moonsparkle. “When you talk to people, they listen. People respect you. They don’t betray you.”

Clarissa let out an uncharacteristically loud laugh. “Have you seen Grizzly Bear and I talk? That rogue does not listen, I assure you.”

“But… but when it really matters, he does.”

Clarissa stopped brushing Moonsparkle and glanced at Evelyn. “What is this really about?”

Evelyn sighed, keeping her hand on Moonsparkle’s nose. Tears kept her eyes warm. “I feel so powerless. Even now. Especially now. After all this came out, most of the conversation was whether what Rafael did was right, instead of…”

“Instead of anyone asking if you were alright?” Clarissa asked. Evelyn felt her face crumple. She covered her face, feeling the tears fall. “Are you alright?”

She shook her head. “No.” Her knees turned weak as Moonsparkle moved forward. She wrapped her arms around the unicorn’s neck, afraid she’d collapse into sobs if she didn’t. The brokenness she felt manifested in how impossible it was to stand. She shouldn’t feel this way. It wasn’t like Rafael raped her. She punched him in the face when it happened and told him to never talk to her again. He respected her wishes. Bent over backwards to keep it a secret, and made everyone hate him in the process. Did everything possible to stay out of her way. Three years ago. Three whole years and her eyes were swimming, her knees trembling, the memories still far too fresh in her mind. She should feel better. Why couldn’t she get better from this? Why couldn’t she talk to her therapist today and both agree therapy wasn’t needed? Because what happened wasn’t that bad. She should be fine. Why wasn’t she fine? Why did she feel the icky tar when Walt sided with Rafael?

“Evelyn.” Her druid placed a hand on her shoulder. “I am not perfect, but I am a princess. A princess does not deny herself what she needs. And you, my dear, dear friend, need to sob.”

Evelyn tried to laugh, but that laugh was the last thing that made her knees collapse. The tears came and did not stop. The answer was simple. She felt the icky tar because Rafael broke something in her, and Walt punished Nick instead of him.

Moonsparkle dropped to her knees with Evelyn, and she clutched the golden mane as she sobbed. Ugly ones that racked her body, that caused her shoulders to shake. Gobs of tears and snot that placed her firmly in the disgusting human category instead of the beautiful, graceful elf category. The thought of all this fluid landing in Moonsparkle’s mane horrified her, but she couldn’t stop. The dam broke, and there was no point stopping it now.

Eventually the shaking was less, the sobs weren’t as violent. Clarissa and Moonsparkle never left her side, and somehow she understood Moonsparkle was not disgusted by the state of her mane.

The problems were still there. Their CCNC characters were here. Everyone knew what Rafael did to her. So many memories of him had become tainted. They still needed to figure out how to work together while her brother was ready to murder Rafael. Try to save the world while Evelyn tried to pick up the broken pieces of herself. But Clarissa was right. For this moment, she needed to sob.