It didn’t hurt. It surprised him more than anything. The thing that hurt worse was the tears that pooled in her eyes, and Nick not knowing how to apologize for whatever he just said. Chaos was getting in his way. There were so many emotions on her face, but from reading her expression, he got the impression she was slightly horrified that she slapped him. Only slightly.

“Alejandra, I…” Nick trailed off. He wasn’t even sure if he could assure her it didn’t hurt. Not without knowing what Chaos had him say instead.

Alejandra covered her face and plowed past him. Nick didn’t hear her cry until she was halfway down the hall. Nick stared ahead, his heart pounding. Chaos would change what Nick said to anything he wanted. Nick absently rubbed his cheek as he left the other way. He’d have to get Evelyn or Derek to tell him what exactly he said to Alejandra so he could offer a proper apology. Also, figure out how to clue people into the situation. He needed to give his friends better clues so they could help figure out what was happening. Soon. Because it seemed like Chaos was bent on making sure all his relationships got torn up, and he couldn’t be certain they would last after something like this.

The funk quickly smothered the horror he felt at that realization.

Nick climbed into Evelyn’s car and about placed his hands on the steering wheel when he realized it was bright pink and full of glitter. His hands hesitated, then he rubbed his temple.

“Good god, Evelyn,” Nick muttered. She certainly put her mark on this car. He must not have noticed it this morning because she was driving, and he was in a deep depression. The glitter was in a protective casing, so it wouldn’t get all over him, but then again, it was glitter.

He placed his hands on the wheel and drove out of the parking lot. Numbness reached out and froze the horror he felt at the situation. He didn’t know what he’d do this week, and he doubted Grizzizzik would have a way to contact him with instructions. They might have to wait until Saturday when they attended their main session. Derek was happily taking on most of the extra sessions this week, since it worked for everyone else to roll from a distance as long as one member of earth was there. They’d all have their Saturday session as normal, though, so that was good. Nick needed to get out of the house. Away from Walt. Since Nick agreed the door could be taken, that meant Walt still had to respect Nick going to CCNC.

Nick pulled into the employee parking lot, locking his car as he headed toward the back of the store. He checked his watch. A few minutes early, as usual. They had a lot of inventory the past few days, so that was guaranteed work for a few weeks at least.

Nick placed his water bottle at his desk and put in his code to track his hours. He then got to work, getting into the rhythm of things, when he heard someone walking into the back area.

“Hey, Nick.”

What was it about hearing his name caused him to freeze so completely? He was still trying to unravel what happened between him and Alejandra, and now Mr. Morgan was at the end of the stairs, calling out to him.

Nick turned, seeing his boss and Walt’s best friend leaning against the entryway to the stairs. Nick scrambled to read every emotion on his face, to judge for himself how Mr. Morgan would react. He’d already been slapped once today. Also caused a rift between his friends. Was Walt’s threat pointless? Would Mr. Morgan fire him anyway?

Mr. Morgan motioned up the stairs. “In my office. I have some questions.”

“Right.” Nick willed movement back in his legs as he stood. “Coming.” He forced his legs to move as Mr. Morgan climbed the stairs ahead of him. Nick followed, willing his heart to calm down. The old stairs creaked before reaching the office. Mr. Morgan opened the door before ushering Nick inside to give them a semblance of privacy. Nick felt like he might pass out. If he lost his job…

No. If he lost Mr. Morgan’s respect…

Nick practically collapsed in the chair across from the desk, staring at the organized chaos that it was. Mr. Morgan took his sweet time moving around the desk before sitting down.

“I heard you were taken to the police station,” Mr. Morgan said.

“Yes, sir.” Nick didn’t dare to look at him.

“Something about a vandalism?” Mr. Morgan asked.

Nick swallowed, remembering he needed to keep quiet about the whole thing. “I… I did nothing, sir. It was… wrong place at the wrong time.”

Mr. Morgan kept staring at him. “Wrong place at the wrong time, meaning outside your house at four in the morning?”

Nick flinched, then bowed his head as though he could keep Mr. Morgan from seeing his face. “Are… you going to fire me, sir?”

Mr. Morgan shook his head. “No. Your dad called me and said he’d fire you himself if you ever did this again.”

Nick held his breath, still not looking at his boss. Refusing to feel the relief, because there was no relief. Nick would have to do something chaotic again. If he didn’t, Chaos would.

“I think it’s rather harsh, though. Don’t you?” Mr. Morgan asked.

Nick tried to give a nonchalant shrug, but he couldn’t look Mr. Morgan in the eye. His eyes grew warm, and he was terrified of letting out the sob he’d been holding back. The sob the numbness promised would never escape, as long as he stayed numb. He couldn’t cry. Not in front of Mr. Morgan, not in front of anyone. He almost willed the depressive funk to return. To numb his feelings again.

Mr. Morgan’s chair squeaked as he leaned back. Nick kept his eyes on the hardwood floor.

“It was… perhaps a week ago. I honestly can’t remember. Walt asked me to check the inventory of my toilet paper,” Mr. Morgan said. Nick covered his face as all the air from his lungs leaked out. “Seems like there was an incident near your home, and Walt wanted to make sure it wasn’t you.”

Hot tears spilled down his cheeks, and he kept them hidden with his hands.

“I told Walt that I knew you wouldn’t do something like that and told him to ease off on you. But I came here yesterday morning to check inventory, and it seems like a fair number of toilet paper rolls are not accounted for under the employee’s bathroom.”

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

The sob broke loose. “Please. Please don’t tell my dad. Take the money out of my paycheck. Tell the police if you want. But please don’t tell my dad.”

The chair squeaked, and Mr. Morgan’s footsteps moved around the desk. Nick could not stop crying. The emotions that he froze for the past two days came back hard, and more anxiety than he could handle. If Mr. Morgan told Walt about the missing toilet paper, Walt would undoubtedly force Nick to stop working. That, or force Nick to stop playing CCNC. Both options terrified him.

Nick felt an arm rest around his shoulder, and he dropped his hands enough to notice Mr. Morgan offering him a box of tissues with his other hand. Nick took a few, knowing he was a complete mess.

“I won’t tell your dad. What can I do to help you?”

Nick buried his face in the tissues, wanting to scream. There was nothing Mr. Morgan could do. He didn’t know CCNC. Nick was having a hard enough time getting his friends to figure out what was going on. Mr. Morgan had no chance in hell of figuring anything out.

“I can’t.” Nick hoped his boss could hear him through the sobs. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep doing this.”

“Keep doing what?” Mr. Morgan’s voice was calm and in control. Nick didn’t continue. He wanted to go on default and talk about Grizzizzik and the contract he made, but after the slap from Alejandra, he didn’t dare. He couldn’t be sure what Chaos would make Mr. Morgan hear instead, and he couldn’t put himself in that kind of situation again.

“Are you hanging out with… troubling individuals again?” Mr. Morgan asked.

“Yes.” That much was true. Grizzizzik had a much longer list of criminal acts than Eddy, but Nick didn’t realize Grizzizzik was real until a few months ago. “Yes, and I don’t know how to get out of it. He’s pressuring me to do things I don’t want to do, and I can’t get out of them.”

“Yes, you can,” Mr. Morgan said.

Nick shook his head, thinking of Chaos. “I can’t. I’m… I’m in too deep and I can’t get out.”

“You’re never in too deep. You have your support system. Let us know how we can help.”

Another spike of panic hit him before the numb feeling reached up and pulled it under. Then it pulled his other emotions with it, and the emptiness filled his soul. He had never felt so alone before in his entire life. No, not alone. Just alone with Grizzizzik, who everyone agreed was dangerous.

Once the storm of emotions died down, he realized Mr. Morgan still had an arm around Nick’s shoulder. Still held the tissue box in his other hand. Mr. Morgan was kneeling on the ground, and when Nick glanced up from his wad of tissues, he saw the deep concern in an adult’s face that he could not possibly comprehend was his dad’s best friend growing up.

“Don’t go this alone, Nick. Don’t listen to this guy’s suggestions. You don’t have to do this. Whatever… blackmail he might have on you, you can stop it.”

Nuclear fallout. That’s what he’s hanging over my head.

Nick tore his gaze away from Mr. Morgan to stare at the wall, the sob gone, but the tears still falling.

“He can’t force you to do anything, no matter what he says.” Mr. Morgan dropped his hand from around Nick’s shoulder and stood up. “And if you need to, you can go to the police.”

Nick closed his eyes, trying not to feel the aching loneliness that came with that phrase. One officer would not care to help, even if this dealt with a situation they could help with.

“Nick?” Mr. Morgan asked. Once he dried his tears with the tissue, Nick forced himself to look at Mr. Morgan’s face again. “Do you need me to call the police for you?”

Nick shook his head, forcing his legs to stand up. His depressive funk trickled in, and he finished wiping away his tears before throwing away the wad of tissues.

“Please don’t tell my dad any of this. He’s… not as understanding as you.”

“What did your dad do? After this last incident?” Mr. Morgan asked. Nick said nothing, but he didn’t move to leave, either. Nick glanced again at Mr. Morgan’s desk. “He called me, telling me what he would do if you ever did something like this again, but he never mentioned what he did this time. What did he do?”

“He took away the door to my room.”

Despite Nick’s quiet voice, Mr. Morgan heard. The silence between them was almost unbearable. Nick brushed himself off, the emptiness returning. The emotionlessness returning to his voice. “If it’s alright with you, sir, I’ll get back to work.”

Nick turned, heading toward the door.

“Please call me if you need anything. Anything at all. Even… even if it’s after work,” Mr. Morgan said.

I can’t. My dad has my phone.

Nick bit back the response, heading out of the office and down the stairs. Once he sat down, he forced himself into the repetitive job of uploading inventory onto the website before placing them in boxes to be shipped off to warehouses. Nick said nothing. He didn’t need to. No one had ever bothered to talk to him before, and he didn’t see the point of starting now.

The rest of work was tedious, but Nick was numb enough that it wasn’t bothersome. He returned home to Lydia handing him a plate with some dinner as Walt talked to someone on the phone upstairs. All the better. Nick wasn’t in the mood to face his father.

Nick said nothing as he ate his late dinner, rolling for the session that was happening without him. Nick finished his dinner and went to his room. He went to his desk with his backpack and started his homework.

The three hundred and twenty experience points from the session didn’t feel like much. It edged Grizzizzik to over eight thousand in total. But Nick felt none of the dopamine that leveling once was. Instead, it was dread. Starting Wednesday, every experience point Grizzizzik got needed to be earned. Earned by another shatter to his reputation when he had nothing left to give.

There was a knock on the side of the wall. “Nick?” Evelyn asked. “Can I talk to you?”

It was far more gracious than Evelyn had ever been in the past. She sounded so tired. “I guess,” Nick said.

Evelyn’s careful footfalls entered his room, and Nick kept his back to her as he focused on his homework. “Hey, I… I heard from Alejandra that…” Nick turned his head slightly, waiting for Evelyn to continue. “She said that you told her that Grizzizzik had a contract with Chaos to get a sword to kill his father.”

For the first time since this whole thing started, Nick’s heart felt almost giddy. He turned around in his chair, studying his sister. “What?”

Evelyn shrugged, looking hurt. “That… that Grizzizzik had a contract with Chaos to get a sword to kill his father.”

Nick’s heart exploded in his chest. “Yes. Yes, that’s exactly what I told Alejandra.”

Evelyn’s face fell. “Nick, come on…”

“He’s forcing me to do things I don’t want to do. Making me create chaos to gain more points in his warlock class. If I don’t help him, he—”

“Nick, stop it!” Evelyn’s anger was sharp, causing Nick to stop. “You seriously don’t see how that was a horrid thing to say?”

The only sound Nick heard was the pounding of his own heart. Each thump against his chest hurt more until the realization made it shatter. It was a double-edged sword. Chaos could control what others heard Nick say, and Chaos could do the same thing to Nick. Chaos was manipulating him, and he tried to shake off the terror he felt.

“You must apologize to her. It was rude, and frankly traumatic, to even mention Grizzizzik signing a contract with Chaos.”

“Get out.” Nick felt too exhausted to have a conversation neither one of them could know the true meaning of.

“What?” Evelyn asked.

“I said get out of my room.” Nick faced his desk again.

“Nick—”

“Get out!” Nick snapped.

Evelyn let out a quiet gasp before hurrying out of his room. Nick dropped his pencil and covered his face. He just snapped at his little sister. This would not help. In fact, he was certain it would make things worse. But he was so tired.

He sank deeper into the numbing pit of isolation. Depression promised him that if he felt nothing, he couldn’t feel hurt, either.

“Nick.”

Terror froze him in his chair as Walt walked in. This was a bad time. A really bad time. He was in danger of screaming at his father, and nothing good would come of this.

Nick sucked in a breath when Walt placed Nick’s phone on the desk next to him. Nick stared at it, then shot a tentative glance at Walt. His father was not looking at him. “I’ll put the door back by the end of the week.”

Walt turned around and started to leave the room. Nick should have just let him, because he was scared of what prodding would do, but he was so confused. “Sorry, what?” Nick asked.

Walt hesitated, then turned his head slightly. “Somehow Ike believes that less restrictions will somehow get you to behave better. I’m willing to test it. For now.”

Walt left, and Nick stared, wide eyed, at the empty spot where his dad once stood. Tears blurred his vision as he turned back to his desk, trying to focus on his homework as he pocketed his phone. It was a small reprieve from his hell. For now, he was willing to take it.