The AI loaded a response. “The daggers freeze in midair, then clatter to the ground.”

Nick tapped his fingers against his chin. “Interesting.”

“What brings you to my lair?” A real, gravely dark voice emanated from the speakers, bringing goosebumps to Nick’s arm.

“Dude!” A light filled Derek’s eyes, the same light that often came when discussing CCNC lore. “Does the AI have voices for Torraq and Akshi?”

“Of course they would go all out for Torraq. I mean, he’s the sex symbol of CCNC.”

Derek’s shoulders sagged. “Not enough of a sex symbol if it doesn’t get more girls playing the game, though.” He drowned his sorrows by opening a fun sized Snickers bar and stuffed it in his mouth.

Nick pressed the space bar and put on his slithery Grizzizzik voice. “You know exactly why I’m here. Where is Akshi?”

Torraq’s voice returned, leaning too far into the sexy vibe. “You will never find him. His magical manipulation is too valuable to me.”

“Magic is stupid, and only idiots rely on it,” Nick as Grizzizzik said.

“Princess Clarissa rolls her eyes at Grizzizzik’s words,” Derek said. “She is ready to lecture him about all the times she’s saved his ass with magic, but will wait until later.”

“Ezekiel lets the insult roll off him, as he always does. What does Milo do?” Nick asked.

Derek scoffed. “Oh, Milo firmly believes what he does isn’t magic. It’s science. So the insult doesn’t hurt him either.”

The AI Torraq appeared again. “Only idiots attempt to kill me. So the question is, who’s the real idiot?”

It wasn’t the first time Nick missed Tyler. Sure, Tyler didn’t have this kind of voice for Torraq, but at least he knew the entire sordid history between Grizzizzik and Akshi. Mainly that Grizzizzik was on a revenge mission to kill his father. Torraq’s right-hand man. There would be some mention of him and their relationship.

Not that it mattered. Grizzizzik wasn’t one to chat about feelings. “Takes one to know one!”

Derek smirked. “Your eight-year-old self fighting on the playground would be so proud right now.”

Nick worked his jaw to suppress a smile. “Shut up.”

“The temperature drops fifteen degrees. Torraq levitates in the air, his shirt whipping in the wind, showing his rippling muscles underneath,” the AI woman said.

With a groan, Derek covered his eyes. “Save it for the smut authors.” They tried too hard with Torraq. It didn’t bring the female demographic into the game itself, but it certainly caused an explosion of free smutty fanfiction online. Apparently sexy, evil, humanoid ice elementals were many people’s guilty pleasure.

“Frost creeps across Torraq’s muscular, blue tinged body as his icy eyes sharpen. He is levitating, every candle burning a sapphire flame.” Her voice didn’t sound as mad lib-like. They must be to prepared bits of software.

“Come try it,” Torraq said.

“Please roll for initiative.”

Derek kept his face covered, shaking his head. “This AI woman tries to create an environment, then asks us to roll like she’s announcing the next train stop.” He scooped up his d20 and dropped it down his tower.

Nick rolled for the three characters to see when they’d take their turns to attack. Ezekiel, the guy with a lot of radiant spells, got a natural one. Odds were not good with this. An eight for Grizzizzik was slightly better. A ten for Clarissa was at least doable. Hopefully, he’d rolled the last of the bad numbers for the night.

Nick and Derek typed in their numbers corresponding with the different characters, waiting for the AI to calculate them.

“I don’t like the chances, with our tank rolling a one,” Derek said.

Nick felt his heartbeat in his stomach. “Hraktar rolled a one as well?”

Derek’s panicked gaze met Nick’s. “I have a feeling Torraq might freeze everyone on the first go.”

“Milo goes first,” the AI woman said.

The panic in his gaze dissolved. “Well damn, we might survive if Torraq rolled awful, too.” He pressed down on the space bar. “For my first action, I use my crossbow, which already has mana fused to it, and shoot a fire arrow at Torraq’s chest.” Derek dropped his die down the tower, winced at the number, then did a quick count on his fingers. “Sixteen. Does sixteen hit?” Derek typed in the number.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

The AI calculated. “Torraq dodges the arrow.”

Air escaped between Nick’s teeth as the words stumbled out. “He’s got a high AC.”

Derek grabbed his green and black swirled dice, growling at it. “You’re rolling terrible right now. You need to not, or you’re going to dice jail.” He hit the spacebar. “For my bonus action, I start fusing my metal container with fire mana.”

A smile attempted to form on Nick’s face, but a cringe appeared instead. “You’re starting your bomb with the roll streak we’re having?”

“It’ll be ready in two more turns.” Derek placed his palms flat on the table, glaring at his d20. “Which gives you time to shape up. You understand?”

Nick rubbed his scarred eyebrow.

“Torraq’s turn,” the AI said.

He braced himself for whatever ice spell the MED would cast.

“The room, which is already cold, drops even further. Any water in this room turns to ice. The ceilings, the floor, they turn hazardous. The frost on Torraq’s body hardens to a transparent crystal. Everyone in the room must make a constitution saving throw.”

With a steadying breath, Nick scooped up his d20. When using weapons, the wielder rolled the dice to pierce the AC. With certain magic spells, everyone else needed to roll a high enough number to avoid the attack. Only the game master knew the number they needed to reach.

Nick grunted at the first number the die showed him, recoiled at the second, and let out an uneasy breath at the third. “I think only the princess survived that one.”

Derek rolled his first one. “Are you kidding me?” He rolled the second, and he let out a shriek. His fingers fumbled over the dice. “You! You’re going to jail. Understand? I’m not even taking a chance with you.” He slammed his die in the cage with the white d20 before digging out another one, grumbling. “I’m going with red. Red for good luck, because Milo’s dealing with red mana.”

“That is fifteen hit points cold damage to Grizzizzik, Ezekiel, Milo, and Hraktar, and eight points cold damage to Princess Clarissa.”

It wasn’t as bad as he thought. Not ideal, but this seemed more a spell to defend Torraq that also hurt other people. With that thought, taking fifteen points of damage from a defense spell didn’t bode well. Nick hurried to write the damage on his character sheets.

“Princess Clarissa’s turn.”

Despite playing Ezekiel and Grizzizzik for years, he didn’t know many druidic moves. “I, um… change into a bear? That seems like a smart idea.”

Derek shook his head. “Princess Clarissa is level five and can’t change into a bear yet.”

Nick resisted the urge to throw his hands in the air. “We are so dead. Um… dire wolf. Evelyn does that one a lot.”

Clarissa’s roll was high enough to make the first hit against Torraq, giving him twelve points of damage from the bite alone. It felt fine when Grizzizzik missed, but hurt worse when their half-orc tank missed, too. Ezekiel cast a spell to melt some ice, which ended up failing and lengthening the dangerous terrain.

“Fine!” Nick shuffled pages of the spell list. “For my bonus action, I cast spiritual weapon! The warmth of light fills the chamber. An image of a thick book rises, pushed forward by the light of the Great Lady. It forms in front of Ezekiel. He lifts his hands, pushing the book straight for Torraq’s head and—” Nick rolled the d20, then smacked his head against the table. “Dude. We need to run. These rolls suck. Torraq will kill us all.”

“Torraq dodges the spell. He makes a move of advantage,” the AI said.

The muscles in Nick’s shoulders stiffened. “What! I wasn’t anywhere near the spiritual weapon!”

There was a loading sign on the screen, with CC&C appearing with the ampersand doing somersaults. Nick assumed it meant the AI was considering his idea, but the image disappeared as she spoke again. “Torraq throws an ice dagger at Ezekiel, giving him six points of cold damage.”

“Six! The guy rolled a six on a dagger!” Derek clawed at his cheeks. “This has to be rigged!”

Nick clenched his pencil as he noted it on his sheet. Ezekiel didn’t have many hit points left.

“Top of the round. Milo’s turn.”

Derek dropped his d20 down the tower, watching for the number. “Sixteen for my fire arrow? Does sixteen hit?”

The AI calculated again. “Torraq dodges the fire arrow.”

“Goddammit!” Derek slammed the table, causing all the dice to shiver. “For my bonus action, I keep infusing the bomb with fire mana.”

The AI loaded again, and the cackle coming from the device made Nick flinch. “I shall murder you all!”

“Creepy, but typical,” Derek mumbled as he dug around for yet another d20 in his collection. “Red and gold it is.”

“Torraq throws his hands in front of him, and a sheet of ice explodes from his palms. Everyone make a constitution saving throw.”

Nick rolled, sighing. “Oh, thank you. Grizzizzik finally rolled high.”

“Boom! That’s what I’m talking about!” Derek petted his new dice. “You’re such a good little dice.”

Not only was Milo saved, but Hraktar, too. Clarissa and Ezekiel weren’t as lucky.

“Alright.” Nick braced himself. “What’s the damage?”

The AI calculated. “Nineteen points cold damage for Clarissa and Ezekiel. Ten points cold damage for Hraktar, Milo, and Grizzizzik.”

Clarissa the wolf managed another eleven points of damage. Grizzizzik missed again, which made Nick groan. His rogue character was eager to discover more information about his father.

When Hraktar finally hit with almost twenty points of damage using his great sword, it felt like their luck turned around. It would’ve been nice if Ezekiel hit, too, but he missed.

“He’s in his natural territory, and his AC is super high,” Derek said, shaking his d20.

“Meaning we need a few more nat twenties to destroy him.” Nick popped another pretzel in his mouth.

“If the dice would cooperate, that’d be nice, too.” Derek rolled his shoulders. “Alright! Third round. Milo finishes fusing the bomb with all the red mana in his void bag. He is ready to demolish this guy! Got to get higher than a ten. That’s all. You’ve been rolling good tonight, little die. Do not fail me now.” Derek dropped the die down the tower. It tumbled out, and every muscle in his body stiffened. The smile disappeared, and his eyes widened.

With Derek’s stiff posture and horrified eyes, it wasn’t difficult to deduce what happened. “You got a nat one, didn’t you.”