Alejandra did not see Rafael on Saturday. She had an entire speech ready to give him, but he must have snuck in when she finally dropped to sleep. Instead, she tried hard to wake up before him, too, but he was already gone when she got up on Sunday. She left for work, then got back with enough time to finish homework. Rafael was still not back. The gusto she had when thinking about what she was going to say petered out.

Ezekiel was on the couch, reading. This morning he was doing pushups with the book on the floor. It was pretty impressive, watching him turn the page with one hand while still keeping excellent form. Perhaps Ezekiel was a nerd, but he kept himself fit.

The cleric was flying through the books she got from the library, and she could tell he was loving it. In the evening, he would practice sword fighting with Hraktar. She would find him praying in the evening and in the morning, clutching his medallion of the Great Lady of Light. Other than that, he always had a book in his hand, smiling. She didn’t know what stats he had, but considering Hraktar and Grizzizzik were the only ones to reach level two, Ezekiel was trailing behind. Their cleric was behind. It didn’t comfort her in the slightest.

And Rafael still wasn’t back. She had tried calling and texting, asking where he was. Leaving messages that they needed to talk.

Mariana left for her night shift a while ago. It was past ten o’clock when Rafael walked through the front door with sacks of groceries for the week. Whatever plans she had of a leader-like speech to inspire her brother, it had turned sour. Now she was just angry.

“Where were you?” Alejandra asked.

Rafael glanced up, having the audacity to look shocked. “I was at work. Where else would I be?”

“You haven’t been returning my calls or my texts,” Alejandra said.

Rafael’s face turned hard as he set the groceries on the table. “Come on, Alejandra. I told you I’ve been busy. Our first football game is in two weeks, and I’ve had a load of other things to do to keep on top of it all. I can’t be bothered with CCNC.”

She didn’t know why his comment hurt so much, but the careful dam she created to keep the anger from her voice came crashing down. “This isn’t a game anymore!” She pointed to Ezekiel reading on the couch as Rafael put milk away in the fridge. “These characters we created when we were kids somehow became living, sentient people! If you don’t have Ezekiel battling, he’ll never level up, and stronger monsters are coming! He’ll be dead before we figure out how to get him back home!”

Ezekiel pulled himself out of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader to glance at the siblings fighting. Hraktar was on the other couch, cleaning his blade, doing his best to keep attention away from himself. Rafael glanced at the air where Alejandra was pointing, but she was getting familiar with that look. The way people would just slide their eyes right past Ezekiel or Hraktar without noticing. Rafael wasn’t putting in the effort, so he reverted to not seeing them.

“Alejandra…” Rafael started to say. He let out a sigh, scratching the back of his head, then resumed putting away cheese and yogurt in the fridge. “It’s been years since I played. Ezekiel doesn’t even feel like my character anymore. I understand your frustration, but I’m not the person to help. We’ve got to work something out where Ezekiel goes with Nick. And I would love for that to happen. You need Ezekiel. Not me.”

Alejandra felt tears prick her eyes, and she was annoyed at their betrayal. “We haven’t hung out in years.” She hated how pathetic it sounded.

“Senior year is busy. I’ll make it up to you.” Rafael set the vegetables in the fridge.

“You said the same thing about junior year. And sophomore year. How is it going to be any different when you’re off to college?” Alejandra said.

Rafael said nothing as he closed the door, tossing the bags under the sink. It was that silence that felt like he’d stabbed her in the side as silently as a rogue sneak attack. Rafael moved down the hall to his room and shut the door. Alejandra collapsed on the couch, trying to hide her tears. Ezekiel quietly shut his book and got up, following Rafael into his room. Hraktar’s blade was almost shining with how clean it was, but he kept cleaning it, anyway. There was silence between the two of them before Hraktar glanced at her. “Are you okay?”

Alejandra kept drying her tears. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

“I know you’re lying, but I don’t have the social know-how to help you feel better about the situation. So, I’m going to pretend to believe you. If I tried to help you feel better, it might end up making things worse.” Alejandra found herself smiling. Hraktar’s negative one in charisma was shining through right now. “And I’m sorry.” There was a sincerity in Hraktar’s voice that touched her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t roll better during the fight yesterday,” Alejandra said.

“It’s completely up to chance. Not your fault,” Hraktar said. It was similar to what she’d been trying to tell herself all weekend to help her feel better.

Alejandra’s eyes grew warm again. “You got hurt. You could have died. I… I don’t think you got a single hit in.”

Hraktar finished cleaning his already spotless sword before sheathing it. “That’s why I’m part of a team. A team I trust.” Hraktar hesitated, and she could almost sense him thinking about Grizzizzik. “Mostly.” Alejandra smiled again. “There are times I won’t hit as well as I do. Thankfully, I know my friends. They have a lot of the same goals as me. Like killing a huge scorpion before it kills us. It may be all up to chance, but there were four of us against one. Chance was on our side, anyway.”

It had been a little over a week since Hraktar appeared in her life. A week since he was no longer a figment of her imagination fueled by pencil, dice, and a character sheet. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to a character she created coming into her life, but here he was. “I guess you’re right.”

Hraktar leaned against the couch. “I went years without friends. Now that I have them, I see why people yearn for them.”

Another traitorous tear fell down her cheek. She thought of Rafael. Yes, he was her brother, but he had also always been her friend. The title of brother would never leave. But it had been drastically altered because he didn’t seem to want to be her friend anymore.

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“Would it be alright if I asked you a question?” Hraktar asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, go ahead.”

“Grizzizzik said you… that you created me,” Hraktar said.

Alejandra looked up at his brown eyes. “Um, yeah. Yeah, about six or so years ago.”

Hraktar looked confused. “How?”

She felt transported back in time. Sitting in a room with Tyler as he helped her roll the dice, filling in the numbers on the sheet. Looking at the handbook to make sure they got the starting equipment right. Alejandra shrugged, looking at the person who had come alive. “I don’t know. Just a pencil, a character sheet, and a bit of imagination.”

Hraktar took this in, then glanced at his hands. “It’s so odd. It makes sense, but… but it still feels so odd.”

“I honestly don’t know how it happened, either.”

“So you know about…” Hraktar trailed off, his hand reaching up to touch his mangled ear.

Alejandra rubbed the goosebumps from her arm as she looked away. “The chief of the orc tribe did that to you. He did it to remind you of your… of your status as a runt. But it was your reminder that you needed to stop…” Alejandra didn’t know how to finish.

“Stop trying to prove my worth to people who only wanted to use me,” Hraktar said.

Alejandra nodded. She looked down at her hands. “Rafael is a good kid.”

“No doubt. Perhaps it is him that needs the reminder. He can’t spread himself so thin. It’s not healthy. But he’s got a good friend in Ezekiel.”

“He certainly isn’t listening to me.” She turned to look at Hraktar. “Are we friends?”

He smiled. “I’d like to think we are.”

Alejandra nodded. “I’d like to think we are, too.”

***

Rafael paced the room, his phone tight in his fist. He had read all his texts from Alejandra, listened to her voicemails, and looked through the group texts from the fight on Saturday. There wasn’t much, mostly for Nick’s benefit. Rafael placed his phone on his desk, then cradled his head in his hands. He couldn’t get involved. It was no lie about his ridiculously busy schedule over the weekend. He had no time whatsoever. A chunk of his to-do list was finished over the weekend, and it was still large enough to drown him. He could not take on another task. Not until football season was done in November. Or perhaps after he turned in his college applications. He still needed to check with his football coach, who was also his history teacher, to get a letter of recommendation.

He also needed to check more scholarships. Miriana thought he had a lot more saved away for college than he actually did. He didn’t have the heart to tell her he’d paid for groceries the past year and a half. If she figured that out, she’d take on a third job, and he couldn’t let her do that. He’d search for more scholarships tomorrow.

Rafael looked at the phone again. Evelyn had mentioned the same sentiment. These people were alive and here. He, of course, felt a sense of obligation to get them home. But it came at the worst possible time. And with the worst possible group. He had been working way too hard to make sure no one figured out he’d hurt Evelyn. Hurt her in one of the worst possible ways.

“Can I help?”

Rafael jumped, spinning around. Ezekiel was there, leaning against the wall with his finger holding his place in one of the Narnia books, watching him closely. “How long have you been there?” Rafael asked.

Ezekiel shrugged. “Sorry. I thought you saw me.”

Rafael sighed, gripping the back of the chair of his desk. “No. I haven’t seen you for a while.”

Ezekiel nodded. “I was afraid of that.”

There was silence. Rafael used the opportunity to quickly rub his eyes, make sure he wasn’t crying. He figured Ezekiel had gone back to reading his book, but when he glanced over his shoulder, the cleric was still observing him. “Your sister cares about you a lot, you know.”

Rafael forced himself to look forward at his silent phone. “Yeah. I know.” He kept gripping the chair. “So… I don’t… I don’t actually know you anymore. My friend Nick took over when I left. Don’t you have some sort of pull toward him now?”

Ezekiel shook his head. “No. I don’t. It’s always been with you.”

The more Ezekiel talked, the more his stats came into view. He saw the character sheet. Saw the stats he placed in there a week ago in a frenzy. Shoving numbers in the slots to get him to help destroy the zombies.

Strength: 14 (+2)

Dexterity: 12 (+1)

Constitution: 14 (+2)

Intelligence: 14 (+2)

Wisdom: 15 (+2)

Charisma: 10 (0)

Somehow, despite his bumbling nature, Rafael never saw Ezekiel as someone with wisdom as his highest stat. Under each of the main six, he saw the tabs open in his mind of all the different checks he could make with their corresponding modifier. He saw a health bar with a glowing ten above Ezekiel’s head. And he saw a measly fifty-three experience points in the very corner of his vision. It was a bit more than last week. Perhaps reading and training was giving him a small amount of experience points, but no doubt fighting a battle would do better.

“I suppose this is just how you started, isn’t it?” Rafael said.

Ezekiel gave him a curious look. “Sorry?”

Rafael eased himself into his desk chair. “You started out engrossed in books. Not leaving the house. Or, rather, your temple. Training with other friars, but never really going on adventures.”

Ezekiel nodded. “Yeah. I suppose I did.” He shut the book, placing it tenderly next to him on the bed. “They practically had to kick me out to go on a simple mission to retrieve a book. If they hadn’t, I would have still been stuck in the temple.” Ezekiel chuckled. “In my defense, it was a trauma response. I didn’t want to leave. Books were all the adventure I needed.” Rafael knew that. He created Ezekiel, the hesitant hero. The socially inept hero. A happy hero. The guy who was more than happy to live out his own fantasy of adventure after reading about it in stories. “It’s been fun reading books from your culture. But my friends are in danger. They need us.”

“They don’t need me,” Rafael said.

“Yes, they do.”

“They just need you, Ezekiel. They’ve never needed me.”

The cleric studied him closely. “How can you possibly suggest Lord of the Rings to me and still believe this about yourself? Do you not read your histories and internalize them?”

“It’s not… it’s not history…”

“It clearly means something deeply to you.”

Rafael hung his head. “Oh god, Ezekiel. I told you it was fiction. It isn’t real.”

“Neither are many aspirations for civilization, but we still all hold to an ideal to live by.”

Rafael glanced at Ezekiel, who shrugged. Listening to Ezekiel talk brought up happy memories of their CCNC group. He remembered the role play of his friends needing a pep talk, and Rafael would ramble a bit about how awesome Flannigan Jones was, the in-world swashbuckling adventure book Ezekiel was obsessed with. His speeches usually were ninety percent current book obsession with about ten percent actual good advice that his friends would sift through and cling to because no one else took on the leader role. And Rafael had always roleplayed them so well that Tyler would usually chuckle before giving him an advantage on the performance roll to inspire everyone. Even the memory made a small smile cross Rafael’s face. Then he remembered what he did to Evelyn, and guilt crushed his chest.

“I just can’t join them anymore, Ezekiel. We have to find another way to get you with your friends,” Rafael said.

Ezekiel shrugged. “I don’t see how, but I’m always curious to see what unconventionally happens.”

“Much to Tyler’s dismay,” Rafael muttered.

The two were silent again, and Rafael kept staring at the phone. He needed to help. That much he knew. His essays and college applications were almost ready. He was sitting on a hard-earned 3.8 GPA. It would have been a 4.0, but his parents divorced two and a half years ago. Which meant he was only getting straight A’s for two and a half years because of how much he threw himself into his schoolwork. He played football and loved it. Was the model citizen in every way. He had the time. He knew it. Last night, he spent four hours playing CCNC with Hazel’s brothers. He had the time of his life.

But he could not force himself to stand by Evelyn’s side and keep pretending he hadn’t pulverized their friendship in the worst possible way. Keep brushing away the guilt that stabbed him every time he caught glimpses of her.

Rafael shook his head, stuffing his phone in his pocket. “I need a minute alone, please.”

Ezekiel nodded, picking up his book and leaving the room. Rafael had a feeling he wouldn’t see the cleric for a while.