The silence between Alejandra and Hraktar was only interrupted by the crackling fire she didn’t want to sit too close to. The fighter took a small stick, breaking it in half, then in half again before absently tossing it into the flames. It was hot, but she wanted to check on Hraktar. “Are you alright?”

“No.” Hraktar started poking the fire with a log, not looking at her. Alejandra had been concerned about Hraktar ever since she heard the news of Clarissa, Grizzizzik, and Milo slaughtering the orcs. She wasn’t sure what this would do to him, but it obviously made his depressive funk far worse than when he first discovered orcs traveled here.

“Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the orcs. I was kind of afraid… this would happen,” Alejandra said.

Hraktar did that thing where he lifted the corners of his mouth. It couldn’t be classified as a smile, even though there was an imitation of one on his face. This was more like he went through the motions without feeling it. It did nothing to soften his features, and it made him scarier than he realized.

“And… I’m sorry they’re dead,” Alejandra finished.

Hraktar went to pick up another stick. He snapped it in half, but it simply squashed into his hand. He let the bits sprinkle to the ground before putting a hand in his short black hair.

“It makes sense, right? Makes sense that three of my friends left to slaughter a threat. Huge, barbaric orcs. They posed a danger to the town. To you. To the others. They needed to be taken care of. They needed to be eliminated.”

Alejandra looked at Hraktar. Her fighter, her half orc, was struggling mentally.

“Hraktar-”

“Yeah?” He turned to her, expecting an answer, but Alejandra didn’t have one.

She sighed. “Just because orcs are…”

“Brutish. Barbarians.” Hraktar poked the fire, watching it dance. “Animals?”

Alejandra closed her eyes, her head hanging in defeat. “Look, there’s something you should know about me. I’m… I’ve got a Hispanic mom and a Caucasian dad. And my dad, he…” Alejandra couldn’t bring herself to say it. Even after two and a half years, she couldn’t look at someone in the face and recount the fear she felt not that long ago when Jack got in a rage. It was easier to forget.

But it seemed like Hraktar didn’t need to hear the stories. Absently, his fingers reached up to feel his mangled ear. Alejandra’s eyes filled with tears. “Just because half of you is orc, doesn’t mean you’re a monster.”

“But they are monsters. Right? My orc tribe? Your father’s tribe?” Hraktar asked.

Alejandra stared at the fire. “No. My father… he made some bad choices. Terrible choices. That was on him. Not his family.” Though she knew little about Jack’s family. He kept all of them pretty isolated.

“As did my orc tribe. Make horrible decisions.” Hraktar rubbed the side of his face. “So they deserve death. Deserve to be taken out. They are a threat. They’ve done unspeakable things to me. So why do I feel so terrible about their slaughter? Why am I angry at my friends for not telling me?” Hraktar covered his face. “This should have a straightforward answer. They treated me so horribly. I should be glad they’re dead. Why does this feel so… complicated?”

Alejandra rubbed her arms, tears in her eyes. She wanted to change the subject, because if she tried to make him feel better, it was going to get worse. She had no idea how to help him feel better, because she had no idea how to make herself feel better. “It’s, like, ninety degrees out here. Why did you guys make a fire?” It sounded callous the moment it left her mouth. Hraktar was spilling his heart, and she was trying to change the subject.

But Hraktar let the subject be changed. “To cook dinner.” He picked up one of her mom’s tumblers, a plain blue one, and took a sip. In his large hands, it looked like nothing more than a small cup.

“Dinner?” She glanced at the dark kitchen through the sliding door. “I thought Rafael taught you both how to make sandwiches.”

“Oh, he did. But…” Hraktar trailed off, then glanced at Rafael’s window. Alejandra followed his gaze to see the light of Rafael’s room. Rafael was on his bed, a pile of homework around him. Alejandra watched as her brother erased something on his paper, then double checked with a textbook before writing something down again. “Ezekiel figured it out a couple of days ago. Your mother, she works all the time in order to earn coin, yes? To pay the bills. There seem to be many, many bills. Rafael works at the grocery store and brings home groceries. He pays for them himself without telling your mother.”

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Alejandra frowned, then tore her gaze from Rafael to Hraktar. “He does?”

He nodded. Alejandra again looked through the window, saw her brother typing something on a calculator. He looked at it before writing it into his math homework. Mariana gave him money for groceries. What was going on?

“Your family doesn’t have much coin.” Hraktar said it so simply, like it was a statement, but the pricks of embarrassment hit Alejandra’s cheek.

“No. We don’t.”

Hraktar nodded, looking into the fire. “Ezekiel told Rafael not to worry about buying food for us. We’ve survived off the land long enough. We don’t want to be a burden to you.”

Alejandra still stared at Rafael. Every time she thought he was blowing off CCNC, she heard something like this. Rafael wasn’t playing CCNC because he had other concerns. Making sure Alejandra and Mariana had food.

“You’re never a burden, Hraktar,” Alejandra said.

Hraktar was back to looking at the fire. “I eat so much more than everyone else.”

Alejandra smiled, placing her head on his shoulder. “You save everyone’s lives all the time. I guarantee no one wants to see you hungry on the battlefield.”

Hraktar chuckled. “Thanks.”

Alejandra smiled as she straightened. “Are you feeling better?”

“A little,” Hraktar said. Alejandra didn’t know what to say to that. Hraktar’s smile was disappearing again, the heaviness returning. “I need some time to process it. That’s all.”

Alejandra nodded, then placed her hands in her pocket as she walked back into her house. It was way too hot to stay beside a fire. She passed Ezekiel reading on her phone, making her way once again down the hall. She knocked on Rafael’s door. It was almost eleven thirty, and he was still doing homework.

Once again, she heard shuffling from inside before the door opened. Rafael looked exhausted. “Yeah? What do you need?”

Alejandra stared at her older brother. Tears filled her eyes. “What do you do with the money mom gives you?”

Rafael’s facial expression seemed to freeze before surprise flickered in his eyes. “How did you—”

“What do you do with the money mom gives you for groceries?” Alejandra asked again.

Rafael sighed, a heaviness entering his eyes that she sometimes saw in Hraktar’s. “She, um…” He rubbed the bottom of his chin, not looking at her. “I found her password book while cleaning up and discovered all the places online that she pays her bills. She’s got four smaller bills she can’t pay right now while she’s working on the bigger ones. And the essential ones that keep our lights on and such. I’ve been using that money to pay off those smaller bills. Almost done with the third one. By the time I go to college, the last one will be paid off.”

How did Alejandra not know any of this? “When were you planning on telling me?”

Rafael shook his head. “You shouldn’t have to worry about it.”

“Neither should you.” The tears in her eyes were about to fall. “Rafael, you’re only a year older than me.”

Rafael shrugged. “Nineteen months, technically.” She gave his arm a soft whack, which caused a rare smile to flutter across his face.

“Please let me help pay some of those bills,” Alejandra said.

“No. Alejandra-”

“Stop thinking you have to solve everything yourself. Stop trying to protect me. If paying off those bills helps mom not need to be gone as much, I’d drain my bank account.” A painful sigh escaped her. “We’ve… all distanced ourselves since the divorce. And I don’t like it.”

He glanced behind him at his pile of homework. “Um, perhaps…” She waited, curious. “Do you…” He pulled out his phone. “Hazel wants to spend some time to get to know you. Maybe… maybe we could have a game night soon?”

“Yeah.” Her heart already felt lighter. “Yeah, I’d love that.”

Rafael started tapping on his phone. “Alright. I’ll let her know.” She reached over and hugged him. He seemed surprised at this, considering the slight stiffening of his muscles. “What’s this?”

“Just… thank you.”

He patted her back. “Yeah. Um, you’re welcome.”

Maybe it wasn’t a stiffening of his muscles at all. She realized how long it’d been since she gave her brother a hug. He’d never been a beanpole, but she hadn’t hugged him since he’d gotten serious about lifting weights for all the sports he did, and there was a difference in years. Had it really been that long since she’d hugged her brother?

Alejandra let go, backing away. “How much a month are the remaining bills?”

“A hundred and fifty a month for one, three hundred and fifty a month for the other.”

That didn’t sound like small bills, but probably because she was in high school. She didn’t even want to ask about the bigger ones. “Please accept part of my paycheck when I give it to you. I really want to help mom. You don’t have to be the protector all the time.”

Once again, Rafael’s rare smile came through. Perhaps it seemed so rare because they hadn’t had a conversation like this in a while. It felt easy. Natural. Once again, they were talking amongst themselves to figure out how to best help Mariana out of her situation.

“I really want to hang out with Hazel and you, so… let me know,” Alejandra said.

“Of course.”

He smiled again. They needed to spend more time together.

She went into her room and got into her pajamas. It was past midnight when she checked to see Ezekiel still on her phone. She brought out her charger and showed him how he needed to plug it in, but that he could still use it.

Outside, the flames had burned down to embers. Hraktar’s form hunched over the fire, his hands in his hair. He stared at the fire, but didn’t see it. She quietly opened the sliding door again.

Hraktar glanced up, straightening. “Hi.”

“Hey.” She gestured toward the house. “I’m going to bed soon. I…” she looked back at her fighter. “You don’t… have to be the protector all the time.” Hraktar frowned. Alejandra wasn’t exactly sure where she wanted to go with this. Perhaps she should have told this to Rafael instead. “And don’t feel like you have to do this alone. I’m here for you. We all are. Even if we don’t know the right words to say to help you feel better. We want to, but I never know what to say. Except… sorry. That you suffered so much growing up.”

There was a softening in Hraktar’s face. His smile wasn’t back, but at least it wasn’t fake, either. “I’m sorry you suffered, too.”

Her face relaxed to the same softening. “Thanks.”