PART I - INTANGIBLES ANALYSIS
“I am livid! Absolutely livid! At all five of you!” Xera fumed, standing on their side of the table. The Legate and Major sat off to their right, while the Master Trainer sat on the left. Everyone had unhappy expressions.
Across the table, standing at attention was Callie, a regal-looking Warlock standing behind her. On one side of Callie was a blue-haired Gnome with a confused look on his face, and on the other was an early middle-aged Goblin next to a young Pantherkin, who couldn’t be much older than seventeen. They were all standing at attention, too.
“I can’t believe you would …” Xera’s words trailed off as they forced down an incoming string of expletives.
Callie started to respond, but a harsh glare from Xera, coupled with Vanis giving her shoulder a painful squeeze, cut her words off.
“I can’t fire you,” Xera growled, jabbing a finger at the teenaged Rowani. “I need you, at least until the end of this term, and then I can throw your ass right through the gate!” They then angrily gestured at Maugra, “But you! I don’t need you. Cheena can teach your students just fine! Tell me why I shouldn’t have you pack up your shit?”
Rowani moved behind the Goblin, placing her paws on Maugra’s shoulders in support. “If you fire her, then you fire me, too. We made this choice together.”
Maugra smirked slightly, trying to not let it show on her face, as she reached up and squeezed Rowani’s paw, feeling a slight squeeze in return.
“What I should do is reinstate your commissions and bring you both up on charges!” Xera snarled. “I have that authority.”
“I don’t understand,” Callie said, confusion in her voice. “What’s the big deal?”
Vanis’s grip tightened again as Xera’s eyes turned towards the little pink-haired Gnome that had once again caused all the trouble. “You don’t say anything until someone asks for your opinion. And you can forget that promotion I gave you, too!”
Xera turned her gaze back. “You were both Adventurers! You know what unicorn blood is used for. You know what you took from someone else that needed it!”
“I vowed never to regret my decision,” Maugra said, her voice now strong, clear and remarkably soothing.
“We both did,” Rowani added.
Xera threw up her hands in exasperation. “You had no right to do this.”
“Why?” Callie asked, genuinely confused. “And if you’re going to yell at anyone, then yell at me. I’m the one that brought it to them.”
“Oh, I’ll get to you, Recruit,” Xera said, pointing. They turned back to the two trainers. “What were you two thinking?”
“That I can do more good in this world, now,” Rowani said, stiffening in confidence.
“And you?” Xera asked, glaring at the Goblin
“What she said sounds about right,” Maugra said, gesturing behind her. “Plus, I got my voice back, my leg works again, my body doesn’t constantly hurt everywhere, and my breasts don’t drag on the ground any more. A win for everyone.”
“You’ve hurt other people, Maugra!” Xera snapped.
“Did I? I can help hundreds, now. If you include those my trainees will eventually help, thousands. Hell, many thousands, if any of them, in turn, train people!” Maugra snapped back. She gestured behind her. “It’s the same with Rowani.”
Callie really was having a hard time figuring out what the big deal was. She had taken the two vials because she thought it would be a great surprise for Rowani and Maugra, and there were plenty more still on the table. But Maugra was right, if you looked at the numbers, another one-hundred years of a Platinum-Tiered Shaman being able to do their work, even if only some of it was spent training or helping people, far outweighed a couple vials of unicorn blood, especially when there were over fifty more of them. Why couldn’t Xera see that?
“Xera, let’s maybe all take a breath,” Thorn said quietly.
Turning to the Ratkin, Xera narrowed their eyes.
“He’s right,” the Legate said. “You can be angry, but let’s back down a little bit.”
Xera took a deep breath, walked a few paces towards the map, before taking another. “Fine,” they growled as they turned. “We’ll have a nice, calm conversation before I really let them all have it!” Xera snarled again, pulled out their chair roughly and sat. They did not offer chairs to the five standing before them. “Did you know about this?” Xera growled towards Fizzlebek.
“N-N-No. Nothing. I didn’t even know they were gone until I was fetched this morning.” The Gnome shrugged. “I didn’t get around to inventorying them until yesterday evening. With fifty-four vials as my final count, I didn’t notice anything was missing.”
“See? I told you he had nothing to do with it!” Callie interrupted. “Ow!” she groaned as Vanis squeezed her shoulder again.
“I want that blood secured, along with all the other parts you’ve harvested,” Xera said, jabbing a finger towards the Enchanter. “Put that horn in a sealed, iron chest and have it chained and locked in my office!”
Maugra’s previous statement about being able to help so many people now that she had longer to live had made Callie really think. It made a huge amount of sense, if you analyzed it logically, to have given the blood to them. Strategically, that was. They were an Army asset that was going to be lost because of age. Maugra was going to quit at the end of the term, she’d told her, and also said she suspected Rowani was going to as well. Why would the Army, why would Xera, want to lose the valuable resources of two seasoned trainers? It really seemed like a no-brainer. Callie just wanted to do something nice for the two, but one could quantify the benefits to the Army with a little bit of calculation.
“Fizzlebek, you’re dismissed. I better not find out you were in on this. See to securing everything,” Xera sighed.
“Of course, Commandant,” the Gnome said. He turned, frowning as he briefly caught Callie’s eye, before exiting the room quickly, closing the door behind him.
“What were you thinking, Recruit?” Galin asked, shaking his head in disbelief.
Callie shrugged, pulling out of the vice-like grip of Vanis. “The table was full of vials, and Fizzlebek said one would give someone fifty years, or a smaller person one-hundred. I just thought it would be something nice for them.” She gestured to the two now-young trainers.
“We are not in the business of being ‘nice’ to people,” Xera almost hissed.
Callie narrowed her eyes, actually a little irritated. “Look, I know I’m in trouble, and I’ll accept my punishment if I need to, but can I speak freely?”
“Why not,” Xera said coolly.
“Fine. Let’s look at this from a different angle then,” Callie said. “What did the Army gain?”
“What do you mean?” the Legate asked.
“You had two veteran trainers that you were about to lose. Maugra told me she was quitting after this term, and thought Rowani might too. Both of them because of their age.”
“You were?” Thorn asked.
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
Rowani nodded. “You usually ask us mid-term if we are coming back, so I was going to tell you then.”
“So there,” Callie said, gesturing. “Now you don’t have to go find another Druid trainer.”
“Well, I don’t need her,” Xera growled, pointing at Maugra.
Callie looked absolutely dumbfounded. “Have you no idea the value of institutional knowledge?” She was channeling one of her college courses on how to account for intangible assets.
“Careful. Watch your tone, recruit,” Galin said coolly.
“What are you talking about?” Xera snapped.
“You were about to lose a huge, strategic asset, Commandant. A veteran trainer with a lifetime of experience, combat knowledge, and Platinum Tier expertise in her skills. During a time of war you would really want to throw that away? Her knowledge is invaluable. Plus, on top of all that, she has a Symbiote.”
“Should we just give all trainers the unicorn blood? Is that what you're saying?” Xera asked sharply, a little bit of patronizing sarcasticness in her tone. “Trainer Terrin is over two-hundred and fifty. Should we just give it to him because he’s old?”
Another of the courses that Callie had taken was an Ethics in Statistics class, which had a section that focused on decisions made during modern wartimes. It covered, for example, sacrifice for the greater war effort by reducing civilian manufacturing for a shift to making weapons. It even did a deep dive into the issues surrounding the decision to drop the bombs on Japan. She never thought it would be of any value, but now her brain scrambled to remember as much as she could.
“By the numbers? Absolutely!” Callie snapped back with a nod. “If you’re going to lose someone invaluable due only to something you have the power to easily fix, then pour that right down their throat. Why wouldn’t you?”
“Where does it stop then? And how many other people is this going to hurt because the blood isn’t available to them?”
“Taken to an extreme, lots, it sounds like,” Callie said, shrugging. “But how many lives will be saved because you have kept these valuable people from leaving or dying of old age? How many lives at the front will be saved by the people they train? These numbers can be easily quantified, if you really want me to. I just need to know some values and do some kind of an intangibles analysis, maybe mixing in a little six-sigma, too.”
Xera fell back in their chair, some of Callie’s gibberish actually getting through their still seething anger at the situation. How many lives could be saved by extending the lives of Rowani and Maugra? How many would be saved if Terrin, an absolute expert on Demons, decided to step down because of his age, and a simple vial of blood could change that?
“I could make more arguments, too,” Callie continued, channeling her training from another world. “For example: Up until two days ago you didn’t have anything, so you effectively had what is called an ‘unexpected windfall’, which allows you to consider spending resources on things you might not normally consider. In this case, that’s retaining and improving assets like these two. Or I could point out that you wouldn’t even have the unicorn blood without me killing her and deciding to bring the body back with us, and because of that, maybe I deserve a say in what happens. I’m not going to, because I don’t have to. The numbers can speak for themselves and they have no emotion to them.”
Major Celeste let out part of a surprised laugh, forcibly holding most of it back, eyes going wide.
Callie sighed. “Commandant, I’m not going to pretend I thought about any of this when I took the unicorn blood. I just wanted to do something nice for two people that reminded me of my grandma, who I would have given anything to spend more years with. That’s all. I think I understand how I was wrong, maybe at least a little. But from my mistake, significant value to the Army has come out of this, even if I didn’t intend it to. If you need the numbers, I’ll work them up and show you the math.”
There was a heavy, oppressive silence in the room as Callie took a step backwards towards Vanis. The Warlock placed his hand back on Callie’s shoulder, but instead of a painful grip, he gave a gentle reaffirming squeeze this time.
Thorn leaned in close to Xera, whispering, “She may not have been right, but she’s not exactly wrong, either.”
Callie, of course, was able to hear this, given the overwhelming silence in the room. She focused hard on not changing her facial expression, but was glad her arguments were getting through to at least someone. She wasn’t trying to get out of trouble, and honestly didn’t really understand what she had done wrong, but if pointing out the unexpected benefits of what she’d done helped lessen the outcome for her and the two trainers, that was all for the better.
Xera glared at Callie, but they could feel their glare softening despite the simmering anger. “Fine,” Xera said, a false smile appearing on their face. They fixated on the two trainers. “No matter the Recruit’s explanations for her actions, both of you knew better. But, as she has pointed out, you are also both valuable military assets. Thus, effective immediately, both of your commissions are reinstated, and you will serve at the pleasure of the Army, which you both better understand is me, by the way. At this time, my orders are that you will serve as trainers for no less than the remainder of this term, and the next two terms as well, unless the war comes to a conclusion.“
Xera took a breath, narrowing their eyes at Maugra. “Furthermore, simply because I am able to, Cheena is now lead Shaman Trainer. The both of you figure out how to make that work.” They glanced briefly to their left. “Thorn, see that Cheena is made aware.”
Refocusing on the trainers, Xera continued, an almost sinister, mocking smile appearing on their face. “Should either of you disagree with this sentence, then we will more than happily hold a full tribunal to determine if a greater, or possibly lesser, sentence is warranted. Report immediately to medical for a full examination, and then return to your students. You are both dismissed.”
Rowani and Maugra both stood stunned at the abruptness of Xera’s verdict, trying to digest what had just happened and what that meant. They had both expected to be summarily fired, although Rowani wasn’t exactly surprised that Xera had been reluctant to send her away, since she was still needed for the Druid recruits. Now they had essentially been conscripted for, what, almost a year? Was that good or was that bad? The general shock made it hard to actually make that determination.
“I said you are both dismissed! I need you out of my sight, at least for the rest of the day. I’ll cool down in time, and we can talk when my emotions aren’t running high.”
With a curt, ‘Yes, Commandant!’, both trainers executed a stiff turn before making a speedy exit out of the room, the door closing behind them, Rowani’s now-young tail swishing in the air rather than drooping to the ground.
There was a long silence in the room as everyone refocused their stares towards Callie, both Xera and Galin drumming their fingers on the desk. Callie felt nervous, as if she was under a microscope, and she pushed away a tiny urge to hide behind Vanis.
“You were a little cavalier when speaking of your otherworld knowledge,” Xera finally said. “All that talk of math and whatever a sigma is and your grandmother.”
“I was?” Callie raced her mind back through everything she had said. Honestly, she didn’t really realize what she was saying at the time. “Oh no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
Xera drummed some more. “Nothing we can do about it now. If either of them ask you about it, refer them to me. Same with Reynard, for that matter, it’s very likely he suspects something.”
Callie swallowed hard, wondering what Reynard might do if he knew the actual truth, and her throat went dry. Whatever he might do, it likely wouldn’t be pleasant, even if he had to give chase, hopping on one leg to catch her. Carefully, she squeaked out a wispy, “Okay.”
The Commandant stood up and paced to the map again. They weren’t nearly as agitated as earlier, but Callie could tell there was still a great deal of frustration simmering. Finally, Xera ran their fingers through their hair and returned to the table, leaning on the back of their chair.
“Recruit, I can appreciate why you did what you did. From your perspective, your heart was in the right place. But you were wrong, very wrong.”
“I’m starting to get that now,” Callie said, sullenly.
“Still,” Galin said, interrupting. “You have to admit looking at retaining aging people as a military asset, at least during a time of extended war, is an interesting perspective.”
“That’s what bothers me,” Xera said. “That view can make it very easy to justify things we would otherwise find unthinkable. Who are we as a people, then?”
Major Celeste cleared her throat. “No offense to the deep thoughts you are all considering, but I need to get back to my class. They have Demons this morning. I’d like to move quickly ahead or postpone until this evening. I’d be perfectly happy to get drunk with all of you on Lastday evening and discuss the ethics of war, but I just don’t have the time right now.”
Xera cleared their throat, shaking their head to refocus on the matter at hand. “You are correct, Major. I think we can easily move to judgment against the recruit. She has freely admitted that, at minimum, she stole military resources. While I do believe there may be mitigating factors, punishment is warranted. She should have simply known better, or at least asked permission first. Does anyone object.”
Callie wasn’t actually going to say anything, but Vanis immediately put his hand over her mouth, just in case. No one objected.
“Major, what is your punishment,” Xera said. “I don’t wish this determination to be made by the Ogre. They are too close.”
“Good question. It can’t interfere with her training, that’s for sure.” The Major rubbed her chin for a long moment, squinting at Callie. “Stable duty for six nights seems fair.”
“Hmm, I was going to recommend four,” Xera said, before looking at Callie. “Recruit Calliope Archer, you have been sentenced to three hours of work in the stables for each of the next six evenings. You will report directly to the Herdmaster after your evening meal, and follow his instructions. Furthermore, you are being reduced in rank to Recruit. You may someday earn the promotion back, but for now, you’ve lost that privilege. Do you object?”
“She does not,” Vanis, who had been called as Callie’s guardian, said, speaking his first words since arriving, his hand still over Callie’s mouth.
Callie frowned and pulled his hand away, glaring up at the Warlock, before turning her eyes back to the officers. “No, I do not object.”
“Good,” the Commandant said flatly. “Recruit, congratulations for now having the shortest promotion in the history of this Army. You are dismissed. Return immediately to your training.” Then, as an afterthought, Xera added, “And stay out of trouble!”