In the interest of fairness my Garden is not filled with lethal death traps.

At least, not within the first layer.

I mean, honestly if you ignore a well-crafted sign that says something like, “Lethal Deathtraps Ahead, Beware!” you really should be removed from the gene pool.

I think in that manner I’m actually doing most of the rest of humanity a service.

I mean, I may not be human anymore, at least the thought is still there right?

Isn’t it the thought that count’s the most in these things?

Watching through my various plants I enjoy the greedy expressions that cross each face of the six human Adventurers. It’s an equal split between men and women this time around. Sometimes we get all female, or all male parties, neither seem to last long though.

For some reason the all-female parties get distracted by the Jewelry Room, which, is bad.

That’s one of the “Lethal Deathtrap” areas after all. I mean, I certainly am not going to explain to Dryad how her favorite toys got stolen.

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

Again, the all-male parties don’t fare much better, they get taken out in the Body Crafting Room.

I actually had no idea that room existed till Devon told me about it. Apparently, until I have enough mana to sustain a physical form for Dryad, she can’t survive outside.

That doesn’t stop her from crafting a variety of extremely hot bodies.

How do I know they are hot?

Well, I mean, if they weren’t ‘hot’ then 99% of all male Adventures probably wouldn’t stop and stare at them.

I mean, I admit, I’m just guessing here though. Perhaps they just like to appreciate the plants used in crafting them.

Riiiiiiiiiiiight?

Yeah, I thought not.

Anyways, male parties seem to have the need to, you know, touch things.

Sadly, I even have multiple, glowing, blinking signs that say, “Do NOT Touch the Bodies!”

I can’t figure out why that doesn’t seem to deter them.

Meh, whatever.

Strangely enough, equal split parties like the one currently just arrived do best.

Normally they last through a few hundred rooms before something goes horribly wrong.

Rustle.

Hmm, I don’t think I ever actually took note of that.

In fact, thinking back that’s true though.

Most equal split parties usually start making mistakes in the third section of the Garden.

I suppose it can’t be helped, though.

I mean, that’s the part where I throw the experiments that don’t work very well.

Amusingly enough, most invaders think that junk is actually worth something.

Like who the hell would want a hover disc that only lasts for a few hours before needing mana recharge?

Or a time keeping device that slows time around the user?

Oh, and there was that last one folks seemed to lose their minds over.

I called it the ‘Compass That Never Points South’ as a matter of fact it does point somewhere though.

Said compass will point to the correct location in any maze, with the most treasure.

I’m sure you can see how that can go wrong in my Garden right?

Any place with a thing that I deem treasure is accompanied by, “Lethal Deathtraps” of course.

I mean, I don’t want people stealing the stuff I actually want to keep around.

Tsk. It appears they are making the rookie mistake of splitting up.

“Kehoko, Kurhoko, Random Sword Kid#1, there are three groups of new playmates in the first section.”

“Playmates!”

“Playmaties!”

“Mates, yay!”

Eh, I think there was something wrong mixed in there…

Well whatever, decoy mission complete.

Watching the little ones scamper off with their favorite mouse in hand I decamp to get some much needed nap time.