A normal life. Normal interests. Normal wife. Normal children. Normal mid-life crisis. Normal divorce.

I guess, except for that last ditch effort at the end to save my favorite tree from destruction, I really didn’t do much did I?

No, you did not.

Eh? Why am I hearing things after the fire burned me to ashes?

Your soul has been traded by Earth’s diety, Mr. Gates.

Goodness, soul trading? That sounds a bit shady. I’d like to talk to my lawyer about this first.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

Unfortunately, your lawyer is still alive.

Tsk…that bastard…

Indeed.

I bet he was the one behind the fiendish attempt to destroy my Pinus Longaeva wasn’t he?!

…doubtful…

Hah! Some grim reaper soul trading sucker you are, you can’t even see the truth when its right in front of you!

Moving along now. Since your now under the jurisdiction of the diety of Tael, is there anything we can do to help smooth this trip for you?

We? I’m only talking to one disembodied voice…right?

We.

….now that is a disturbing voice, please do not do that again.

Well, normally we wouldn’t give you anything and just transfer the soul directly into a newborn. However, that old diety, he seemed to have a thing for the same tree so…some conditions were attached to your new life. We wouldn’t have accepted them, however, we’re in a bit of a rush at the moment.

Oh well, whatever is fine with me. Actually, I’d like to be something less stressed than human. Something that lets me relax a bit, or sleep a lot. Something enjoyable this time around.

Ho…I think we have just the perfect thing for you.

Really?

Most certainly. Just be careful when selecting…things.

That’s certainly vague…

Indeed. Time to go now, enjoy!