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Blessing of the Vomit Heroine
10 – Mysterious Pudding Ghost

10 – Mysterious Pudding Ghost

“Fweh? It’s not soup! Soup is wet! I thought dwarves were supposed to be smart!”

“It’s been dehydrated, idiot! You’re supposed to add the water yourself!”

“I don’t know how to open this! Why do I have to do it?! Can’t the gorilla do it?!”

It’s nearing the end of our first day here in Surstrom Spire’s Curse Ward and things are becoming heated. Me, Mei-Mei, and Bran stand around a collection of ingredients, arguing over how to use them. The tree sits off in the corner of the room, silently judging us as we argue away.

A short time after the tree arrived at our doorstop, a series of packages had also arrived at the entrance to the Curse Ward. A small hatch in the door had opened, and several boxes were pushed inside. Inside each package were a few ready-made meals, along with an assortment of canned foods and dried ingredients to use and cook for ourselves with. There were also several cups of pudding. The sweet, sought-after treat was the first to be swiped away by hungry hands.

After some poking around, we found that one of the facilities in Curse Ward is a kitchen. A room with a number of fancy tools and appliances, allowing us enough freedom to prepare, heat, cook, and boil any of the ingredients as we please. The only issue with that is...

“There’s no protein in water! I don’t want it in my soup!”

“It is the soup, you moron! And Bran! Stop bleeding and open that can already!”

“I can’t! The can already opened me! It hurts, dammit! Show me more concern! I’m not a bloodless zombie like you!”

We're currently having disagreements on what to do with our first batch of delivered ingredients. Both the cooking tools and the food itself are more advanced than what I'm used to, and even Mei-Mei seems to be struggling somewhat. But that's mostly due to the fact that she's too small to see over the counter...

“Fwahaha! Fine! Leave it to me! Pepper Black is a woman who can get things done! Even when she has no idea what to do!”

At Mei-Mei’s blind instructions, I boil the powders and rice, heat the various canned foods, and after an hour of sweaty struggles and heated arguments...

“Fwaha! It’s done! Dinner is served!”

I walk back into the main room of the prison wing and place the large plates of steaming hot food atop one of the dining tables. Mei-Mei and Bran take a seat at the table and eye the delicious fruits of my labour with an expression of disbelief.

“This is...”

“How did you...”

I happily take a handful from a plate and shove it into my mouth.

“Yum!” I nod in satisfaction. “I love jerky!”

It’s jerky.

“What happened to the soup and rice?! Why is it all jerky?! Where did this even come from?!”

“Give me back my precious ingredients! Give me back the pain and effort I put into opening all those cans!”

The two seated around the table voice their disagreements before reluctantly digging into the delicious jerky. They soon find that it’s a lot less disagreeable than they had first thought.

“Dammit, it’s actually decent...”

“What’s with this saltiness? It’s weirdly addictive...”

As we all dig into the food, I feel a gentle tug on the back of my shirt, and a soft voice murmurs quietly in my ear. “S-sorry. I wanted to h-help, but I fell asleep, and... and...”

I turn around to face the voice and—

----------------------------------------

“—night, Biscuit! Goodnight, Mei-Mei! Goodnight, Bran! Goodnight, Tree!”

I wish all my new friends a good night as I head into my cell and crash on top of my bed.

Fwah~! It’s been a while since I’ve slept on an actual bed. How long has it been since I left home? A week? Two weeks? All those nights spent amongst the trees or inside a cage have all blended together and I can no longer tell how much time has passed.

I wonder if Mom is worried about me. I have to let her know I’m okay somehow. I’ll see if the guards will let me send a letter. Writing isn’t really my strong suit so I’ll have to get Mei-Mei to help me with it...

At some point, the lights in the ceiling had dimmed on their own and—with thoughts of my family back home in the Underground—I quickly drift off to sleep in the comfort of my new bed...

...

“Hey, Pepper! Wake up! Hey!”

I groggily open my eyes to find Bran shaking me awake, panic in his voice. The lights are still dimmed so I’m sure it isn’t breakfast time just yet.

“Fweh? Bran? Sneaking into a girl’s room when she’s sleeping is sexual harassment, you know? You can go to prison for stuff like that...”

“There’s something in my cell,” he whispers. “Come look. Quick!”

Reluctantly, I leave the comfort of my bed and follow the panicked man to his cell. Refusing to enter himself, he points me inside and I wander in. To combat the dark, I flex all the muscles in my eyeballs, giving myself perfect night vision.

“The bed!” Bran whispers. “Check the bed!”

At his instruction, I check the bed.

Hm?

Sniff sniff.

It stinks.

“It’s pee!” I whisper back. “Someone peed here!”

“Yeah!”

“...”

“...”

“Okay, look. Bran—”

“It’s not mine! There’s something weird going on!” he cries defensively. “I’m covered in... I need to take a shower. I can’t see in the dark so I need you to come with me and—”

“What the hell are you two idiots doing?”

Bran turns around to find a tiny, pale figure standing next to him in the dark. Two dead, lifeless eyes stare up at him, causing him to squeal and cower behind me.

“Oh. It’s just Mei-Mei.” I reassure him.

“I know!” he snaps back. “She still scares me though!”

At Bran’s request, the three of us walk him to the bathroom, with Mei-Mei cursing and complaining all the way. Being the only one with jacked eyeballs, I make sure to lead the way through the darkness with my perfect night vision. Eventually making it to the bathroom entrance, the sound of running water can be heard inside.

That’s weird. Is somebody already taking a shower in there? But who? The three of us are all together, and the tree is just a tree. As far as I know, trees don’t get up and take showers in the middle of the night.

We creep into the dark bathroom, the sound of running water growing louder as we edge deeper in. Bran clings tightly to my arm, and even Mei-Mei has her fingernails dug anxiously into my calf.

“... Hello?” I call out.

The sound of water immediately stops.

I peek around the corner leading to the shower area and— It’s empty. The floor is drenched, but there’s nobody to be seen.

“Well?” Mei-Mei says impatiently. “Hurry up and take your damn shower. I want to go back to bed.”

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“As if I could take a shower in this situation! I was wondering what genre we were in and I thought, well, as long as it’s not horror it should be fine! This is definitely horror! This isn’t fine at all!” Bran complains about stuff I don’t really understand. “Ugh...You guys will wait for me, right? You won’t leave me here, right? When I come back out, you’ll still be here waiting for me, right?”

“If you’re that spooked, I don’t mind joining you, I guess.”

“No thanks. That’s okay.”

My generous offer is immediately turned down without hesitation.

Me and Mei-Mei wait quietly for Bran to finish washing away the mystery stink, and when he comes back out, we slowly make our way back through the darkness and back to our cells. As we near them, we’re suddenly alerted to the sound of gentle sobbing. The closer we get to our cells, the more apparent it becomes that the crying is coming from Bran’s cell in particular.

“Why?!” he complains. “Why me?! Why is it my cell?! Pick somebody else! I don’t consent to being in a horror! I wanted to be in a rom-com, dammit!”

At his outburst, the crying immediately stops.

We quietly make our way to Bran’s cell and, peering inside— There’s nobody there. Except this time...

I approach the bed and sniff it once again.

Sniff sniff.

“Fweh? It’s clean?”

It seems somebody had already swapped out the dirty blankets and sheets for clean ones.

“Well... If that’s all, then I’m going back to bed.” Mei-Mei shrugs us off and goes back to her own cell.

“Me too! Proper sleep is essential for muscle growth! And Pepper Black is a woman who values her beauty sleep!”

“W-wait, don’t leave me here! Somebody stay up and talk with me until the lights come back on! Please! Why do zombies even need sleep? Y-you guys are really just going to go back to bed? Seriously? After everything that just happened? Pepper! Mei-Mei! Wait!”

Crashing back on my bed, I quickly fall back to sleep to the soothing sounds of Bran’s wailing and suffering.

When I wake, the lights have already turned back on, signalling the start of a new day. Fully rested, I jump out of bed and leave my cell. Somebody had very thoughtfully placed a fresh pudding cup on top of my desk for me and I happily slurp it down as I check on everybody else.

Finding Mei-Mei’s cell empty, I move on to Bran’s. Peering inside, I find him huddled underneath his desk, quietly mumbling to himself.

“Morning, Bran! Anything spooky happen?”

“... Eh? Ah... Morning, is it? Not really...”

There are dark bags under his eyes and it looks like he hasn’t slept at all since we left him alone last night.

“Hm? Oh! Somebody left something for you too!”

Sitting on top of the desk is a pudding cup, much like the one I found on mine. I pass it down to him and he quietly laps it up from underneath the desk.

“Well?” Mei-Mei says, walking in to join us as she too snacks on her own pudding. “If you want to settle this mystery, I suppose I can offer my support. I don’t want to have to listen to Bran’s incessant wailing for yet another night after all.”

Agreeing to get to the bottom of the spooky happenings from last night, we each split up and explore the Curse Ward for any clues. After a short time snooping around...

“Fwah! Over here! I found something weird in this one!”

I call everybody over to me after finding a cell that seemed suspicious.

“What did you find?” Mei-Mei inquires as she arrives first and follows me in.

Sniff sniff.

“Doesn’t it kind of stink in this one?”

Mei-Mei sniffs too.

“Yeah, you’re right. It does.”

“And look at this!”

I walk over to the trash can in the corner of the room and tip its contents onto the floor. Wads of balled-up tissues and empty pudding cups spill out from inside. I pick up a handful of crumpled tissues and hold them out towards Mei-Mei.

“What’s with all these tissues? Kinda suspicious, huh?”

“...”

Mei-Mei doesn't answer. Instead, she just backs away with a sour look on her face.

I hold the crumpled tissues up to my face. “They stink! There’s something weird on it. If I taste it, I might be able to figure out what—”

Before I have the chance to lick the mysterious tissue, Bran rushes into the cell with a flushed look on his face and slaps the back of my head.

“This is my cell! Don’t touch that! Get out! Both of you!”

Oh, right. This is Bran’s cell. I had somehow walked around the whole Curse Ward and circled back around to Bran’s cell again. To be fair, it was very suspicious.

As Bran shoves me and Mei-Mei out of his cell, my eye catches something in the one directly next to his. Peering inside, I notice a little stash of pudding cups stacked neatly on top of a desk. Mei-Mei seems to notice it too and speaks up.

“Bran, whose cell is this?”

“Eh? Nobody... I think? Nobody stays on this side...” he replies. “Wait, do you think it really is a ghost or something? I heard the guards laughing about how all the last inmates died up here... Hey, I don’t want to live next to a ghost! I don’t want to live next to someone who died! —Ow!?”

Bran collapses to the floor as Mei-Mei punches him in the back of the knee.

“Well, I don’t want to be dead next to someone who’s alive either!”

“S-stop hitting me! You know what I meant!”

“Yes, I know exactly what you meant!”

Ignoring the two quarrelling behind me, I walk into the suspicious empty cell. Immediately I notice that the bed is messy, as if somebody had used it recently. The floor also feels slightly damp beneath my bare feet.

There’s something different about this cell. It’s nice. It feels nice. There’s some kind of strange force existing in this room that fills my heart with a gentle excitement and sends happy tingles bubbling across my hardened glutes. It’s the feeling of being near a cute girl.

I clear my throat and call out to nobody in particular.

“... Hello?”

I stand there in silence for a while until I feel a sudden something tug gently at my hand from the direction of the bed. I look down to see what it is and—

“S-sorry. I think I slept in late...” A young girl yawns as she sits up on the previously empty bed, rubbing her sleepy eyes.

From the fluffy white ears and the tail gently sweeping the bed behind her, this girl is definitely a wolfman... Wolfgirl, I guess? Though, unlike the wolfy Warden downstairs, this girl's features are mostly human. Apart from the ears and tail, there isn't any further fluffiness to be found on this girl's smooth, tanned skin.

“P-Pepper...” Still holding onto my hand, the girl averts her big yellow eyes and looks shyly off to the side. “Do you... Do you remember me? I-it’s okay if you don’t though...”

Fweh? Do I remember her? This cute, tan, white-haired wolfgirl is...

“Fwahaha! Of course I do, Biscuit! Pepper Black is a woman who never forgets a cute girl! Especially not my beloved pudding angel!” A big grin spreads across my face as I immediately begin to rub my cheek against hers.

It’s Biscuit. The cute wolfgirl who’s been bringing me delicious pudding all this time.

“A-angel...” Her face goes red at my sudden display of affection and I can feel her flushed cheeks heating up against mine.

“Wait. Don’t tell me...” I pull my face away from hers and pinch her cheeks between my fingers. “Are you making fun of me? What kind of idiot do you think I am that I’d forget all about the cute girl I had so much fun with yesterday, huh?!”

“S-sorry! Sorry! Sorry!” The girl frantically shakes her head from between my fingers. “I-I was scared my Curse made you forget about me! I don’t think big sis Pepper is an idiot at all!”

I stop pinching her cheeks and go back to rubbing my face against them instead.

Fwah~! An angel! This girl is truly an angel!

“No, don’t let that talking gorilla fool you, Biscuit. That woman is most definitely an idiot.”

“Oh, it’s Biscuit... I told you to stop asking if we remember you. Your Curse doesn’t go that far. We only forget you when you’re not around.”

Mei-Mei and Bran walk into the cell and crowd around the bed too, rudely interrupting my intimate moment with the cute wolfgirl. Embarrassed by the sudden attention, she buries her head underneath a blanket.

“Oh. Was that you showering in the middle of the night then?” Bran asks, in sudden realization.

“Y-yeah... S-sorry. I didn’t mean... Y-you’re not angry are you?”

“Angry? About... Ah! Wait, were you the one who wet my bed? Why were you—?”

“Nooooo!” Biscuit cries, jumping out of bed and dashing out of the cell, her face still buried underneath the blanket. With the white cloth draped over her, she truly does look like a ghost now. Our very own mysterious pudding ghost.

...

“So... What is it?”

“Fweh? What is what?”

Mei-Mei pokes me expectantly in the ribs and I answer back in confusion.

“What is it you wanted to show us in this room, stupid? Why did you lead us in here?”

Fweh? Why did I lead them in here? I feel like there was something... someone here? Or maybe not. I can’t remember. I know they aren’t here now at least.

“I just thought the bed smelled nice, I guess. Sniff it! It’s sweet like pudding!”

Mei-Mei sighs and walks off. "Well, I give up on this mystery. I'm not interested anymore."

“Yeah... Me too, I think.” Bran chimes in. "It feels like it doesn't matter anymore for some reason. I think I’ll finally be able to get some sleep now...”

Mei-Mei and Bran exit the cell, leaving me to sniff the sweet-scented sheets on my own.

I feel like I've forgotten something important that I can't quite recall. But it also feels like it doesn't matter much because I'll remember it again in due time anyway.

Oh well! I forget a lot of things. And I'm sure this particular thing will surely show its fluffy little head whenever it's ready for me to remember it again. Until then...

Sniff sniff.

“Fwah~! It’s sweet!”