The first step to existentialism is questioning the nature of our existence. Every great philosopher has once asked 'What's the point of living?' The most well-known existential philosophers all agree on subject though... Apparently, there isn't a point.

We live because we just do. Rather than thinking anything has to do with divine providence, the best answer for an existentialist is that everything in reality doesn't have much more meaning beyond what you can see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.

'I now have big boobies!'

This is different from having preconceived notions of the world. After all, have you never saw something as mundane as a seat before and thought of the inherent 'strangeness' of its existence? Basic things we 'Humans' see as normal could be considered really weird and eccentric to the animals around us.

'These are heavy melons!'

Those animals think stuff like: 'What is with these hairless monkeys? Why do they sew a fur coat together and wear it instead of growing such a basic thing from birth? Why do they stand on two feet when it is so much easier run with four legs?'

'My family jewels are gone!'

Oh, look at me go~! Great philosophers of the past must be proud of my ability to 'question', the most fundamental skill needed to both understand and comprehend truth. Though using this skill can also leave one to accidentally lose track of priorities...

'My butt is curvy!'

And to do that is considered 'Bad Faith'. I know how free I am and how my life can be changed easily if I wanted to. Thinking otherwise would be a lie to distract myself or to achieve some sort of validation.

'I am in the wrong, but doesn't the fact that I'm trying to change make it better?' This kind of whiny attitude is something I can't accept. I've always hated the word 'failure' and its implications.

'These bazongas are too soft!'

My parents said that it's okay to make mistakes... A lesson I threw out the window after entering the army and learning one 'mistake' could mean death on the battlefield. I'm not used to mistakes... I don't like mistakes... I'd rather die than be careless at all!

Hah... I want to try out a Sartre perspective and see the absurdity of the world through an objective and unbiased eye. Though doing that would be pretty hard considering... I have big boobies now!

No, I am not making this up. Forgive me for being crass about this but my butt seems curvier and my skin seems softer... On top of all that, I seem to be wearing clothes made of natural plant-like materials.

This is really strange... Much more so consider my sense of touch also extends to the clothes as well.

This is... so uncomfortable! I mean, losing my family jewels and gaining melons on my chest is normally something I can shrug off, but what is with this abnormal body that barely moves to my whims?

It was only after looking at the ground did I realise that 'Yep, I am not a Human anymore.' After all, my bodily instincts seemed to be telling me that the shadow underneath my feet was my actual body...

I feel the urge to sigh like a machine gun... What's with this body of mine, and where the hell am I?

A very generic forest in the middle of nowhere? Well this is just perfect, isn't it? I have zero experience in the world outside the Swordwick Household, yet 'luckily enough', I find myself alone in the woods.

Hmmm, maybe it's not that bad... At least I look totally human rather than a Monster, right? With this power I can- Wait, what was I going to do? The whole reason I 'died on the inside' within the mind of my actual body was to change myself for the better, but how does one do that exactly? I didn't really have much of a plan when I 'died' back then.

Power, what am I supposed to use it for? I've already seen how using it too selfishly can lead to being corrupted by it. No amount of confidence can change that I'm the type to use my power to do the convenient... Like brainwashing instead of talking.

But before I think about how I should approach someone else, let's first see what myself in a retrospective lens. I need to know what I am and what I'm capable of before doing anything else.

I closed my eyes and observed myself internally. The female body I have has a heartbeat. It also has a weird 'circular gemstone' in the centre of its chest that is probably the 'Dark Core' half of the Beast Race were known for. From what I know, only a being called a Monster had Dark Cores. The rest of the Beasts had 'black flame' called a Dark Origin.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

From what I can tell, this 'Dark Core' was similar to a Skill Root in nature- No, my Horn of the Mood God seems to have become a 'Skill Core' which has become perfectly connected to my 'shadow body'.

It was as if I'd live for as long as this core did as a ghostly entity. The female body, it's clothes, the strange bone staff near my feet, and the metallic gauntlet on my arm... all seemed to be my 'limbs'.

I wonder who was the designer that made this form for me. For some odd reason, I find it pretty nice.

Not the fact I can't move around properly but that I at least look weak and not-so-dangerous. Unlike my scarred appearance in my past life which always made the people opposite me stutter unconsciously.

And I have bazongas now, which is a plus!

Hmmm, it really is strange. I'm feeling hungry. I want to eat...! Does this world have takeout?

"Excuse me, young lady over there."

FFFFFFOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD!!!!!!

I HAVE TO EAT!!! FRESH MEAT HAS ARRIV-

Damn it! Too powerful! My instincts as a Monster are too powerful! Or is it my original instinct kicking in...! I never thought there would be a day where I'd regret having powerful; almost animalistic instincts.

It's hard to stay calm...! I can't seem to think straight right now. I mustn't do anything I'll regret later.

Ignoring the urge to bite the fresh meat off the injured and bloodied Human- I mean Male- I mean regular adventurer (I think), my eyes concentrated on analysing what was going on. A difficult act to do.

"Who... are you?" I asked the man the leather armour who triggering my urges by his bloodied clothes that must have come from both him and other Beasts around here. I held my nose strongly to cut off my sense of smell with narrowed eyes.

"I should be asking that. Where are the comrades from your party? No one ever enters the Dark Forest alone. What happened, are you injured?" This stranger, who I could barely see the face of due my struggle against my base instincts, asked worriedly.

"You didn't answer my question." I pressed him as I wasn't in the mood to come up with lies right now.

"My name is Bob, I am a Adventurer of the swordsman profession." The man answered plainly.

"Thank you for worrying, Bob. I'm not injured... but starving... Do you have any food?" I stretched out my hand without caring if he had anything poisonous or not. I might attack him if I don't get anything!

At this moment, once the man handed me something he had on hand, I figured out more about my body doesn't really have a 'stomach'. Everything I ate was devoured by my main body, my shadow. Once my stomach was filled, I was able to think more clearly.

"..." Once finished, I properly looked at the person that 'saved me' (or arguably had saved himself).

"Are you okay now?" The man asked with a scary appearance that would make a normal girl stutter.

I mean, just look at this guy. His eyes were hard to see through his bangs and his overall bloodied appearance practically screamed that he had been a brutal fight. But to me particularly, I found how I could kinda relate to this guy very convenient.

After all, I was practically ignoring my own instincts now and have no choice but to rely on my reasoning.

If I was to try tapping into my instincts again, who knows what might happen...? I might attack this guy.

"Yes. And again, thank you for saving me." I gave him my gratitude first since it would be impolite.

"No problem! What are fellow Adventurers for~?" I was extremely suspicious of this generic answer.

Forget the fact that I wouldn't even trust him if I was still a guy. Now that I'm a girl, my carefulness intensified greatly. Call me paranoid but it was hard to believe someone would help me out so honestly.

He must have ulterior motives... Ah! I am a girl right now. Although I was unsure of how I looked, it didn't seem that bad judging from my body alone. What if this guy becomes tempted and tries to assault me?

There's no Beasts or other Huma- I mean people here, except for us two. Even if his thoughts were pure in the beginning, who knows what is going to happen as he realises that I can't resist right now...!

Ah, I feel so powerless! If he even think about it, I'm fighting to my death! My V-Card keeps my mind stable right now. I won't be able to take it if I was to lose my V-Card in such a dirty place like this...!

"So... about your party members?" I was woken up by the man's words. Hmmm, should I test him?

"...I don't have any." His eyes changed after I had spoken. Is it time for me to die fighting so early?

"Idiotic girl! Do you understand how foolish it is to enter the Dark Forest by yourself? Are you crazy!?"

"Eh? I- Erm, I... have very complicated reason for this." Why do I feel so scummy right now?

I mean, it was natural to be suspicious...! Hah, who am I fooling? It's a good thing I can hide my embarrassment or else I'd be as red as a tomato right now. Let's pretend I never tried testing him...!

"Like what?" He asked with doubtful eyes.

"I'll explain it to you later. For now, may I ask for some help getting to the nearest settlement?" There was a fake smile on my face as I spoke. Even though I could identify the loophole in my words, I didn't bother to change them since honestly was needed at the moment considering I might get confusing information if I was to pretend to be knowing.

"You don't even know where you are?" He lifted a brow and seemed more interested in my story.

"Like I just said: It's complicated. Also, can you carry me? I've lost my strength." I didn't feel any reason to put my guard so high anymore after getting a vague grasp that he wasn't really a bad as he looked.

"Alright alright. Fine, I'll help. So... Erm..." He had reached out his hands at the beginning, but after realising (probably) that he was talking to cute girl in a one-piece dress, he became self-conscious about it.

I could tell from his expression that he didn't know where to put his hands. Looks like despite looking older than me (not counting spiritually since that's cheating. Only physically), he also kept his V-Card.

What a cherry boy! If this was my past life, the other guys would be laughing their heads off. Even the married guys who were hiding their wives would probably sneer at this guy for his lack of spine.

Not that I looked down on him though. Hmmm, I think my first time was in my thirties? As a fellow magician, I know how it feels. Don't worry, bro. As thanks for 'saving me', I'll definitely hook you up!

We just need to fix your scary appearance and vwalla! The love interests will be attracted.

"You can grab my arm and help me stand. There's enough strength in my legs to limp." I sighed as it was probably best to stick with such a rare honest individual. Who knows what might have happened if I was found by scheme instead of this great guy!

On a side note, my dress and looks were probably made by Enigma. I don't have any memories of knowing a teenager like the scarlet redhead I've turned into. Even the things underneath were there... and it's design was a little too... raunchy.

"Understood!" He saluted before pretending I was one of his own injured comrades... Hey, wait-

"Where are your comrades?" I asked suspiciously towards this hypocritical guy who had scolded me.

"We got separated due to Monster Stampede. I was able to escape thanks to my fast feet." He answered vaguely as if he didn't want to go into detail about his identity. I guess it's fine since I didn't really care.

"You're a Wind Specialist?" I asked in surprise as his body looked stronger than the ones I myself knew.

"...How did you know?" This response caught me off-guard as he was acting like I revealed a secret.

"Isn't wind related to speed?" I asked in return since this was common sense to me while I was at home.

"Normally, those who can be considered 'Specialists' are rare. It would be more natural to think I was just an agile runner." This time it was his turn to look as ME suspiciously. Damn it, I just assumed everyone was a Specialist. I mean, everyone in the Swordwick Household was one. Since when were they rare? The fact that I'm innocent made this uncomfortable...

I wonder how my life will turn out. Hopefully he isn't dense and won't press me for more information.

Hot sugernuggets, I hate being a Monster Girl!