Where am I? I look at the barren lands around me in confusion. My body feels heavy, and my legs feel weak, a familiar aching sensation appears all over my body as I gasp for air. I look at my hands and see scars, they weren't the hands of a child but the hands of an old wrinkly man. They weren't the hands of Simon Rainglow, but even so, these aged hands were my own. I look around in deep thought and see corpses of brothers that died in action.
Some of them had bullet holes in their bodies, some of them had their throats cut with a knife, some of them were blown apart by explosives. The barren lands seemed to be a battlefield littered with only the corpses of those I once called my close friends. The lifeless world around me was without the sound of gunshots, but the aura of death permeated my very soul, my body aged once more as a result.
My hair turned white, my body didn't even have the strength to stand, but I didn't rest. I walked forward amongst deathly battlefield with resolve, my steps were shaky at first, but gradually they became firm. There was no need to linger on the past, doing so is a waste of time, so I move forward with matchless resolve. The weakness that sunk into my bones cleared as my body became stronger the more time passed.
My eyes aren't looking forward, but I walk all the same, fixing my gaze at the clear blue sky above me. To move forward in life is like this right? I start to smile, but before I could completely forget about the world, the sound of screaming alarmed me once more. It was the scream of one of my brother-in-arms, he sounded like he was in pain, but I didn't look back at all.
"Help me..." The voices of those who died before my eyes resounds.
I can't remember who the voices belonged to, no- maybe it's just that I don't want to remember. The voices seemed to be a mix of both adult males and females who I was familiar with. A sensation of loss appears in my eyes as I was tempted to look back, but I stop myself determinedly, because I knew that looking back for only a moment was enough for me to forget the way forward. If I looked back, maybe I'd lose myself forever, unable to ever find the way forward in life in the future.
The screams became more miserable and pitiful as time passed, but I held on to my foolish resolve, my eyes firmly locked in the sky above me. The sounds of the earth shattering under me could be heard, but I didn't look down, my eyes firmly staring at the sky. Perhaps if I looked to see where I was going, the road would be easier, but I knew that looking there would force me to see my dead brothers laying there once again.
The lands are only an illusion, the past is behind me, the only thing I should be looking at now is forward. Beads of sweat trickle down my forehead as the weather weighed down, the sun blazed in my eyes, but I still look at the sky until I gradually lost the ability to see.
No, that isn't right, that isn't right at all. It's just that the day dawned, the sun fell, and the curtains of night blanketed the clear sky. The shining embroidery of stars glow brightly as if to encourage me to keep on walking forward, but after time passed they were all obscured by clouds, rain fell down on me as thunder also obscured the screaming voices behind me.
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The rain drops blur my vision, but I still walked until I was tired, the only time I stopped was until I couldn't truly walk anymore steps. I stood there calmly, ignoring the bloodied hands that grabbed my ankles, not giving in when another pair of hands tried to force my head to look back. I felt extremely tired, and my heart weakened with my body, but just when I was about to turn back I was hit by a bolt of lightning that fell from the sky.
I felt pain. I felt cold. However, it didn't take long for everything to become comfortably warm. The world around me distorted and the barren lands changed into one filled with lush greenery, in front of me was giant mansion, but I ignored its splendour to focus on the three people standing before me. I don't know if I'm looking forward or back anymore, but I don't care, the smile on my face becomes less senile as I step towards them.
"Mommy, where's big brother, is he coming?" My little sister asks my mother with innocent and curious face.
"Your big brother is coming, just wait a little while, he's almost arrived." My mother consoles Merilin patiently.
"Listen to your mother. My son, Simon, arrive here for sure." My father declares with certainty.
I look at my hands and see that they have returned to the form of a ten year old youths, they looked unfamiliar to me at first but I quickly recognised them to be my own after a few seconds of thought. My heart feels warm and comfortable, filled with hope, a feeling of anticipation grows inside me as I tried to raise my voice to call them.
However, what comes out of my mouth is deathly silence. A silence that reminds me of the barren lands I was in before. I stopped trying to use my voice and tried to get closer, but my legs wouldn't move, my heart beats rapidly as I struggled to no avail. My parents waited for me, my sister waited for me, but I could only watch them from a distance. After a bit, I stopped struggling and looked up at the sky.
I wanted to look at the sky and move forward again, just like before, just I've always done. However, the screams of my family that resounded alarmed me and forced me to lower it back. What I saw weren't corpses, but ash, and in the middle of the pile of ash was a child my own age. His eyes were open as he looked at the sky with lifeless eyes, his body had no injuries, but the fact his life had completely faded was certain.
I cried, not noticing that I had already regained control of my feet, walking forward or back didn't even cross my mind as I crouched to the floor. It's my own fault for being weak, it's my own fault for being careless, no one else can be blamed for my own carelessness. No one else can be blamed for my decision of averting my eyes. I shouldn't have followed the same path I took before, I should have struggled and fought back no matter how harsh the reality I faced.
When the tears in my eyes cleared, I stood up to find them, to look for my family once more. It was at that moment I noticed the ash-covered face of the youth before me, my hands unconsciously moved and removed the ash that was covering his features. But after seeing the youths face, I couldn't help but laugh derisively, the restrictions of my heart were released as I smiled for the third time. How laughable. To think that the one who was laying on the ground... Would be myself. Is this what they call fate?