Despite my misgivings, Tian Mingfei proves to be an excellent sparring partner. Although I am clearly outclassed, she still lowers herself to a level that's just ahead of me - or at least, that's what I feel like, with all my amateurish senses.

The only problem is that she's still… very enthusiastic about the whole thing, which is kind of off-putting to me because I am not.

"Come on Hei Lian!" she calls, heel hammering into my cauldron as I use it to shield myself, "Defending oneself is all well and good but if you cannot fight back, you will surely lose!"

I push back slightly, timing it as best I can to meet her foot just as it comes to kick me again - it manages to unbalance her slightly, but she pirouettes on her one foot to regain it just as quickly as she loses it. "Can't I be a tortoise, Senior? Nobody bothers a tortoise."

She grins, teeth bared - I knew from Zhou Cheng that she used a technique called 'Beast Dance', so I'm only a little surprised to see that she has some impressive canines. Those things are basically fangs, Sister. "Don't be foolish, Hei Lian! Tortoises are delicious! Many things prey on them!" Her stance shifts, and with it her energy.

Oh no. I've made a mistake. She's going to eat me.

Her fingers bent into claws, and her long, flowing ponytail seemed to ripple in the wind. "Beast Dance: Azure Dragon." And then she's upon me, more fiercely and aggressive than before. She slaps the cauldron aside with one hand, the other rushing for my face in an open claw.

I'm forced to duck into myself to avoid her, stepping back as I try to ready my cauldron - no, she'll just slap it away again, I need something else. I rack my brain as I weave between her attacks, wincing a little when her claws rake against me here or there. "I'm not an aggressive person, Senior!"

"And?!" she calls, both palms striking me in the chest hard enough to lift me off my feet. Gwuh. "Do you need to be aggressive to fight? Fight for the joy of it! For the thrill! For life! For love! For pride! For money! For hate!" She strikes a pose, fingers flexing dangerously as she grins madly at me. "What do you fight for, Hei Lian?"

Food? Love? I don't know! Any answer I give doesn't feel right because I'm not really fighting, I'm just kind of playing at it! "I don't really fight at all, Senior!"

Her foot slams into my stomach, launching me across the small clearing we were training in. "Everyone fights!" she calls after me, slowly shifting into a fighting stance with her left knee raised up in front of her, hands still bent into claws.

I almost whine something like 'Why do I have to?', but I already know the answer. That I do not want to fight means nothing because it only takes one party in a conflict to want it. Someone tried to bully me earlier, and then Lei Ming tried harder - I saved myself in the first instance by deflecting, but if Tian Mingfei did not intervene, I can't say I know what Lei Ming would've done, only that it probably wouldn't have been enjoyable.

For me, anyway.

"Perhaps we should try a different tactic?" Zhou Cheng offers from the sidelines, watching me get tossed around the field like an under-invested father watches a game of Little League Baseball. "I do not think any amount of shouting will motivate Lian-er."

Tian Mingfei huffs quietly, and slowly relaxes out of her stance. "Well, what do you suggest then? He's your brother is he not?"

Zhou Cheng considers the question carefully, as I know he must. He's probably been wondering how to best motivate me for a while now, and whilst he can ask me to do things and I will probably do them, that doesn't mean I'm enthusiastic. I agreed to go on his little hunting trips twice now, and in all honesty, if he asks me a third time, I'll loudly complain but still pack my things.

Someone who does not know me might suggest food but I'm not that simple. Food is a great motivator, true, but I'm not going to fight for food, no matter how delicious. I think the only thing that would actually motivate me to get serious - and Heavens, that makes me sound like an edgelord - is mortal danger. Either directed at me, or at Zhou Cheng.

Frankly, if Tian Mingfei was willing to go that far just for training purposes, then I wanted nothing more to do with her.

"Lian-er," he begins slowly, "What if we offered a reward? If you can draw a drop of blood - or perhaps force Tian Mingfei to take a step back - then…" he trails off, face scrunching up as he tries to think of an appropriate reward. "... then we'll go on a trip to Plum Town."

I blink. Plum Town… if I remembered my geography lessons, then Plum Town was the closest settlement to the Heavenly Misty Peak Sect, which didn't actually mean anything because the Heavenly Misty Peak was surrounded by the Forest of Wandering Phantoms - basically, the only way it would be more remote, is if it were on an island in the middle of nowhere.

There were Sects like that, of course. I heard there was one that was surrounded by whirlpools and sea serpents.

"Oho! A vacation! Yes, a brilliant idea!" Tian Mingfei crows, grinning at me with a hunger that does nothing to reassure me. "But let us have a stick with the carrot, yes? If Hei Lian cannot force me to take a single step from here, then I will have him accompany me on my morning training routine for a week."

I have no idea what that entails, and quite frankly, I don't want to find out. "Do I not get a say in this, Seniors?" I call back, although I already know the answer. To force her to take a single step… well, raw strength is obviously out. The only way that works is if she lets me.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

The only way she takes a step back at all is if she allows it, to be fair, so presumably I just need to impress her enough that she does and hope she's not the kind of person to say 'Tough luck' and not budge at all.

"Don't be bashful, Hei Lian!" she retorts gleefully, "I will make it easier on you and allow you to come to me on your own time!"

That's very generous of you. I could use Savoury Bewitching Broth, but even if she steps forward, that's not a step back. I could try some of the Qi-based attacks, but even the most basic will leave me utterly exhausted - if it doesn't work, I'm shit out of luck, not to mention I risked regression. I wanted to win, but I didn't want to win that badly.

… No, I'm thinking of this the wrong way. I can't move her. But I don't have to. "Senior Sister surely won't complain if I use my knife," I declare softly, drawing it slowly from my qiankun pouch.

Her grin widens. "Don't hold anything back, Hei Lian."

I'm pretty sure even if I landed a severe blow, she wouldn't move back. I could probably stab her and she'd stand there. She's that kind of crazy after all. I rush at her all the same, eyes locked onto hers, and hold my knife ready to make a wide arcing cut.

She raises her arms, stance shifting again. "Beast Dance: Vermilion Bird."

I feint a strike towards her upper body and then veer down, aiming to slice at the ground she's standing on.

Her foot snaps up into my face hard enough to break my nose, flipping me backwards with the force so that I end up landing face down despite everything. "Good!" she crows, delighted, "Good, good, good! Use everything you can! That is what it means to seize victory!"

I groan weakly, lifting myself up and fixing my nose with a soft grunt of pain. "Did you… have to kick me that hard?"

She nods seriously. "If it does not hurt, how will the lesson stick?"

I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that…

Okay, so that attempt didn't work. But she did say 'Use everything you can'... I reach into my qiankun pouch and pull a small jar out under her curious stare.

Alcohol has a wide number of uses both in medicine and in cooking. I'm not a huge fan of the taste, but flambé is a thing. I take in a large mouthful, tipping my head back and trying not to grimace at it too much before I charge in again, drawing and striking a match as I do. It's easy enough to lend the tiniest touch of Qi to keep it from being snuffed even as I rush, and when I'm close enough - just out of her range - I raise it to my lips.

FWOOM!

The fire blazes spectacularly, fueled by the rice wine, but Tian Mingfei isn't even singed. Her arms windmill gracefully, drawing the flames away and winding them around in loops of fire. "Ah, Hei Lian, did you forget? The Vermillion Bird is one who is attuned to Fire!" She spins around on one foot, striking a stance as the flames disperse around her. "A good attempt!"

Zhou Cheng claps politely as I gawk. I knew the Vermillion Bird was associated with Fire - all of the Four Guardians are associated with one of the Five Elements. That's basically elementary… elements, for lack of better word. It's the kind of thing any random person could be expected to know.

My mistake was assuming that calling this particular style or stance Vermillion Bird didn't mean she was channeling the actual Vermillion Bird. If you have a Tiger Fist Style, you might call an attack White Tiger's Claws, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's using Metal Qi or even any way related to the White Tiger of the West except that it's sort of tiger-like. It's not like I saw anything Wood-related when she was channeling the Azure Dragon either! How was I supposed to know she could do that?!

I let out another groan. At least she didn't kick me this time. Right. She definitely wasn't making this easy. What other tricks do I have…

Okay, not to be completely looney tunes here, but… I pull a carefully wrapped paper sachet, and slowly approach, acutely aware of her gaze. Getting close enough might be tricky, but so long as I wait for the best opportunity… Finally when I do get close enough, I lunge forward, tearing it open and trying to throw it into her face.

She exhales forcefully, and I want to accuse her of using some Qi with that but the small fistful of pepper is blowing right back into my face.

I stumble back, already feeling my nose twitch. Damn it! "A-achoo!"

"Really, Hei Lian?" she asks, sounding more surprised than anything, "You truly are full of surprises…"

I'm also full of pepper now, so thanks for that! I sneeze again, grimacing as I pull a handkerchief to wipe my nose with. Ugh. That was embarrassing. "Senior, you could at least go a little easier on this poor fatty…" I mumble, trying to think of another trick.

She shrugs lightly, easy and carefree. "If I go any easier on you, Hei Lian, this won't be a challenge."

Thanks. I appreciate it. Really. I roll my shoulders, still racking my brain for another trick… but I don't have any. I really don't. Elements don't work, and to be fair, fire is like the only one I can reliably pull off. Not like I can huff liquid nitrogen and exhale that for an ice version. Going for the feet to try and attack her footing just got my face kicked. Pepper… well, we've seen how that goes.

Nothing for it then. I slip the knife back into my pouch, take a deep breath, and try to recall my ill-fated attempts at playing rugby in a past life - and charge. "Hhhrraaaaah!"

Tian Mingfei's grin widens considerably, an impressive feat given she already looks like she's having the time of her life. She plants her feet wide in what I recognise as the Horse Stance, shifting her fists to complete her stance. "Beast Dance: Black Tortoise!"

A snarky part of me wants to quip that she gets to be a tortoise, but I'm too busy bellowing my war cry in the vain hope that it'll make me charge faster. She doesn't even bother defending herself as we collide, and I have to say it definitely feels like I ran headfirst into a brick wall.

"Come on Hei Lian!" she cheers, even as she doesn't move a single muscle, "You can do it!"

Can I, Senior? Can I? I grit my teeth anyway, pushing helplessly against her. I grunt, groan, and generally strain everything I have… and she doesn't move the tiniest bit. I'm not even sure she can feel this.

"You're nearly there!" Zhou Cheng yells from the sidelines, which is just an absolute lie. I appreciate the words of encouragement though, but I really don't have anything more to throw at her. "Don't give up!"

"Do I… look like… I'm giving… up, Senior?" I growl out, although my voice is still too high to really sound all that intimidating. I say that, but I do feel like I'm hitting the limit of what I can do.

Of course, just as I think that, I feel Tian Mingfei take a single step back. She doesn't even have the grace to act like I made it happen either. She literally just stepped. "Congratulations, Hei Lian!" she cheers, "You did it!"

I step back myself, panting a little as I frown at her. "You…" I almost call her out on it, but her expression is so utterly guileless I can't actually tell if she's fucking with me deliberately or not. And honestly, it's not like there was any other outcome that was possible. I was never going to force her to take a step back. Instead, I just shake my head.

Zhou Cheng claps anyway, and he seems so earnest about it I can't bring myself to be annoyed. "Shall we make arrangements then?" he declares brightly, grinning at me.

I huff a little, but nod regardless. "I'll pack my things," I say, like I don't already have everything in my qiankun pouch. The most important part will be converting my points into currency - the conversion ratio isn't great, and it is technically one way, but if one is going on a trip, then buying souvenir's is only natural.

I'm going to drag you around so many stupid stores for this, Zhou Cheng.