I hum quietly to myself as I carefully stir the congee, adding a few dashes of Moon Sea Salt and Seven-Star Pepper for an added kick of flavour. I dip the wooden spoon in to take a quick taste test, but before I can finish bringing it up towards my mouth, a firm hand grasps my wrist and pulls it to the side - and my prize is stolen by another.

"Ah, thief!" I scold playfully, grinning lightly despite my words, "I was going to eat that - I have to make sure it tastes right before serving it."

My husband grins back, stepping in close to slip an arm around my waist. "Why bother? It's delicious as always, dear."

I give him a playful shove. "Go wait at the table, you're distracting me," I tell him, waving my spoon 'threateningly' before preparing to dole out two bowls for breakfast.

A few moments later, I join him there. He gives me another charming smile that always makes my heart flutter a little, and we settle down to begin eating. Congee is such a delightfully simple dish, and my life is delightfully simple as well. Delicious food, a loving husband, a lovely home… it's everything I've ever wanted.

Isn't it…?

"Lian-er?"

"Yes, Senior Brother?"

My husband blinks at me. I blink at him. The words had been automatic.

I shake my head. "Sorry, I'm just lost in thought."

He nods understandingly. That understanding and empathy is why I love him. "I was going to ask you about that, my treasure. What troubles you so?"

I chew my bottom lip in thought. "Truly, I cannot say. Do you ever feel like… something is wrong? Like there is something just not quite right about the world and your life? I cannot place it, and yet, it nags at me so."

The look he gives me is completely lacking in understanding. "No, dear, I cannot say that. Our life has been perfect ever since we met, has it not?"

"It has," I admit, "Truly, I am one blessed by the Heavens. I suppose I shouldn't think about it too much." Who am I to question the providence of a blessed life? It's what I wanted after all.

He chuckles, and leans in to steal a kiss. "The one blessed is me," he teases lightly, reaching out to gently squeeze my hips in the way I like, "To have such an adorable husband as you waiting for me at home."

I let out a small, tickled laugh. "You won't be so blessed if you don't get to work, dear," I admonish, "The Sect won't run itself."

"It can go without me for a little bit," he retorts, leaning further into me, "Why should I spend some time with my cute husband when I can?"

"Because your cute husband has a house to tend to," is my dry reply, even if I really do wish he could stay. Well. He could. But I have work to attend to as well. "I'm not going anywhere, after all."

He gives me a smile that warms my soul. "No. You'll always be here, won't you, Hei Lian?"

"Of course."

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As cultivators, our household really doesn't need much to run itself - cleaning is easy when you have charmed tools to do it. I still like to take some time to do things the hard way, keep myself sharp. That, and I like to inspect the tools like I'm a snooty trophy wife inspecting a servant's work. The tools don't have feelings, obviously, although our spiritual weapons do - I just draw the line at infusing sentience into something whose only purpose is to dust or sweep.

Frankly, infusing sentience into things whose only purpose is to kill or fight is a bit weird for me as it is. At least my cauldron cooks as well!

Speaking of my cauldron… "Jingming," I call, and it comes rocketing along, spinning as it does. Some cultivators ride swords. I ride a cauldron, and laugh at them, because I get to sit down. "Come on. We're going to the market."

Jingming - a name I gave him, meaning 'Pure Clarity' - rocks from side to side, vibrating slightly.

I roll my eyes. "Yes, I could take the formation. Don't sass me." I clamber in, settling on the rim with my feet resting on the bottom. "Now come on, whilst the sun's out."

Jingming rocks a little again, but he obeys, taking off at what would be a frightening pace were I not a Cultivator as we head to the Celestial Market.

The Celestial Market is a legendary place where cultivators of great power come to barter and trade, and the proceedings are managed and controlled by the powerful Immortal of Markets. It's impressive what kind of Dao some people end up with - I can't say I'd like to end up with that kind of path, but hey, I'm not the one walking it.

"Hei Lian!" calls a fishmonger, waving me over as Jingming settles in. It's a bit gauche to fly around on the tool when I'm browsing, so I climb out, waving to the woman. "Fresh catch brought in very recently - a Night Swimming Tuna, and a big one too!"

Night Swimming Tuna? "I haven't made sushi in a while," I mumble to myself. I can't actually remember the last time I ate sushi. The thought reminds me how much I would kill some tuna rolls. "How much?"

"For you, three hundred stones per jin."

I make a face. "Ah, Auntie, are you losing yourself to a Qi Deviation? Three hundred is far too much for such a fish. Two hundred."

She clucks her tongue at me good naturedly. "The impetuousness of youth today. Hei Lian, you cannot be serious with such a price! Here, I will show you the fish, you will see it's quality." She reaches under her table and produces a cube of meat with the skin on. The markings clearly show its a Night Swimming Tuna, and the colour is a deep, translucent blue, bordering on violet. "See? Touch, feel!"

I hum thoughtfully, gently pressing my finger against it. Damn, that is quality. "Two hundred is too little, I agree Auntie, but this humble servant cannot possibly pay three hundred. Two fifty."

"Bah, I give you a discount to begin already and you haggle anyway? For shame, Hei Lian! Two eighty, if you wish to starve my disciples."

"Auntie, you haven't had disciples for decades. Two sixty."

She gives me a stern look, reserved for disobedient children. "Two seventy."

I'm tempted to push for two sixty five, but honestly, two seventy is a great deal. "Deal."

She bags up my order, and I clasp her wrist. "... Hei Lian, the spirit stones?"

I blink. Right. Don't know why I did that. Just seemed right for some reason. "Sorry," I say lightly, handing her the amount, "I guess I was just mesmerised by your beauty for a moment."

"Ha! Don't flatter me, I know you're married. What would your husband say?"

What would he say…? I don't… think I know. I brush the thought aside with an easy smile. "Surely he would forgive me? Auntie is such a beautiful flower, any man would be mesmerised."

"Ha! You flattering devil, Hei Lian. Never leave, will you?"

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

I laugh back. "Never, Auntie," I declare as I wave her off. I continue with the rest of my shopping trip, humming thoughtfully to myself as I place the food in Jingming. There's fresh vegetables I need, more Silver Moon Rice… "When's the last time Zhou Cheng has come for dinner?" I mumble, "I should make that soup he likes. I should have the budget for pork ribs."

Jingming rocks gently, confused.

… Ah, I did it again, didn't I? I've been doing it a lot lately. Zhou Cheng... that name... "Jingming, do you know a Zhou Cheng?" I ask, like I expect an answer different to my own. Jingming is me. Of course he doesn't know because I don't know. "I think I would remember having a brother…"

Of course, Jingming rattles a little because he cannot keep his metaphorical mouth shut.

"I told you not to sass me!" I retort, waggling a hand at him threateningly, "Don't make me cook this tuna as a stew - using you."

He spins around a little in contrition and I nod in satisfaction.

It's not enough to distract me from the problem, of course, but I push it out of my mind for now. "Come on, we still have plenty of shopping to do."

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I manage to get out of the Market without buying too much more than I intended - fresh groceries were the main purchase, but I could never walk past the kitchenwares without checking on anything new. I have enough kitchenware to last me several kalpa, and yet whenever I see a new enchanted pot or some fancy new knife, I can't help stare and gawk and before I know it, I've got another purchase.

I'm fortunate my husband is so understanding of this, and that we have enough money to supply the habit - but I suppose it helps that I use them to provide those delicious meals he always likes, like…

The thought stills me as I'm in the middle of setting my new purchase away - a large, wide, pot that heats itself up using a charm and is capable of withstanding the same heat and pressure of most stars. That's been happening a lot, as of lately, I think. Little questions. Little… voids.

"Darling!" calls my husband, drawing my attention. He was home early. "I'm sorry to spring this onto you with such little notice, but the Elders will be coming tonight."

The Elders…? "Well, that's no huge concern." It's a bit of a surprise, sure, and I'll have to shuffle around my dinner plan, but it's not as though it changes much for someone of my caliber. Cooking for two, cooking for fourteen - it makes little difference. We're Cultivators, after all. "What is the occasion?"

"Do we need an occasion?"

I chew on my bottom lip a little, mulling it over. "No," I admit after a moment, "But the Sect often has one, doesn't it? It's rare for everyone to be present and coordinated like this." The Elders are Elders, after all - they technically oversee the Sect, but most of them are off busy doing things to further their own Cultivation.

"I'd say it is merely an excuse to taste your delicious cooking. Having tasted Heaven, why wouldn't they return for more at every opportunity?"

I roll my eyes a little. "I was going to make sushi, but for such an august attendance, perhaps something more involved is best."

He smiles at me, in that way that makes my heart flutter. "Anything you cook would be a gift from the Heavens to them, my treasure."

"That's no reason not to do our best." He's just flattering me, besides - and I like putting on a show. "Do you still have that Forest Trampling Boar?"

My intentions are easily read, and he beams. "I was planning on refining it later, but I haven't gotten around to it. I'll deliver it to the kitchen - is it to be a roast then?"

"It's grand enough, isn't it?" I quip, already planning the rest of the feast. I could make a sauce out of Volcanic Heart Apples that would go wonderfully with it… "Perhaps we should invite the winners of the tournament as well."

"Tournament?" he echoes, faint confusion writ across his face. "Hei Lian, there is no tournament. Why would we have a tournament? Such violence is unbecoming."

I blink. "I don't know," I admit after a moment, struggling to piece together why I said that, "Forgive me, I've been distracted all day."

He tsks, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to my forehead. "No forgiveness necessary, my treasure. All I ask is that you stay with me always."

I roll my eyes. "Why would I ever leave?"

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"Ah, what a fantastic feast!" crows one of the Elder's, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied groan, "Truly, there are no delights greater beneath the Heavens than your cooking, Hei Lian."

I give him a polite bow, trying not to disturb my own stomach as I do. I feel fit to burst myself… "You flatter me, Uncle."

He waves a wrinkled hand dismissively. "Bah! It is no flattery to speak truly. Your husband is the most blessed man in all of Creation to have you as a husband! Why, if you were not already spoken for, I would take you as mine and never let you go!"

"Ha!" another Elder calls, "You would have to get in line! There is no partner more prized than Hei Lian!"

The praise kept coming, effusive and flowing as my dear husband just smiles at me and squeezes my hand, seemingly proud and content in knowing I was his and his alone.

I return the smile… but something gnaws at me still. Something that won't go away, no matter how I push and shove and the more I dwell on it, the more it threatens to swallow all my joy and happiness. It's a dark shadow over every bit of my satisfaction with my life, and I just…

"Elder," I ask quietly, the storm inside of me churning wildly, "Would you truly marry this Hei Lian? If I offered myself, would you take me?"

"Of course!" he exclaims, "But is it not shameless of you to ask such a thing in front of your husband?"

"My husband is fine with this," I say, without bothering to even glance at him to confirm that he is. I can feel him nodding. "And you, Elder - and you, and you. You would all take this Hei Lian as a husband?" The words spill out faster like a dam beginning to burst.

"Indeed!" they chorus, affirmations and flattery flowing easily. "Who would not want you as a husband?"

I stare at each of them in turn, and that unease crystallises further, building in my heart until I can feel it stabbing at my ribs. "You all - why? Are you all gay?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" one asks, confused, "It is because there is no greater-"

"It has everything to do with this! I am not a woman! I am no delicate fairy! My face may be soft, my touch gentle, but I am no jade beauty! And yet- and yet you all want me? Respect me?"

"Of course we respect you," another calls, "You are the greatest house husband in all of existence! No wife or maid could ever compare!"

I point at them, finger trembling. "That is exactly why this is wrong! You- all of you are master cultivators. Why would you respect this lowly fatty, Hei Lian?"

"My treasure," my husband interjects, concern and worry in his voice, "Are you alright? You have been disturbed all day, are you sure you are not-"

I slap his hand away from where it's reaching out to touch me. "Do not!" The fear in my voice surprises even me, "And you…!" My pointing finger levels at him now, and for once in what feels like forever, I try to stare at him. To look at him, to truly see him…

Everything about him is handsome, but everything about him is so… so… vague. His hair is dark, his eyes are kind, his arms are strong and I cannot say anything more. I love him more than words can describe. I cannot imagine my life without him.

I cannot remember my life with him.

"Who are you?" I accuse, backing away slowly.

He gestures at himself, still full of concern. "Me? I am your treasured husband."

I shake my head. "No. Not that. What is your name? What are all of your names?!"

The Elders all break out into denials, into assurances, into a thousand things that mean nothing because not one single one of them has a name. Not a single one has an identity more beyond… beyond their empty role on this empty stage.

The dream-like spell's hold is broken now, and the curtain rises up. No names, no faces, no lives. No families to speak of. No disciples. Nobody exists outside of this tiny microcosm.

"None of you… none of you are real! There is nothing to any of you!"

"Hei Lian," my husband proclaims, practically beside himself with worry, "Please! You must be in a Qi Deviation - let us call a healer, the greatest doctor in all the realms-"

I flinch away from his reaching hands. If he touches me… then I will not be able to deny the love within him that he represents, and I cannot allow myself to fall. "Tell me this Doctor's name," I insist, tears collecting in the corners of my eyes, "Such a great and wondrous person must have a name, yes? Tell me it. Tell me it! Tell me what it is, and I will submit to their treatment! Tell me this is real, please!"

His inability to give me an answer is answer enough.

I tear away, fleeing from everything, ignoring their calls and desperate cries.