It felt kind of surreal to be back with Zhou Cheng, if I were being entirely honest.

Three years of toiling, slaving, quietly seething. Plotting. Waiting. Poisoning myself all for the sake of freedom.

No. Not freedom. It was revenge. No point in denying that.

I still couldn't get the taste of fucking licorice out of my mouth, but I knew there was always going to be a price. The marks I could live with easily. The taste of licorice would drive me insane if it didn't go away soon.

"Ngh…" Zhou Cheng groans, stirring weakly from his place sprawled out on a bedroll.

So much for being the one to take care of me this time. I didn't really mind. If anything, I thought it was kind of funny. He'd said all that, made a big show, and then practically keeled over an hour later.

Gave me a heart attack, admittedly, but it was just the early stages of pill toxicity. I'd say 'nothing serious', but that was like saying early stage cancer was nothing serious.

It wasn't serious in that it was really easy for me to treat and deal with, but also it could've been a lot worse if it wasn't treated.

"Just a little bit longer," I offer, turning my focus back to the cauldron, carefully adjusting the heat a little. Thankfully, the Harmonic Equilibrium Elixir was surprisingly simple to make, but it made sense. The body, like every system, naturally seeks to be in a state of equilibrium - so all you usually need is a little nudge.

"You've grown a lot in three years, Senior. You're becoming quite a handsome man."

He lets out a weak huff, an arm thrown over his face. I can't tell if he's trying to hide his reaction, or just trying to shield himself from the elements - he's already starting to sweat a lot, after all. "Still shorter than you," he mumbles, sounding petulant about it.

"You'll catch up." People don't stop growing until their twenties, if I remember correctly. Or maybe it's a bit earlier? Either way, Zhou Cheng is only thirteen. He has plenty of growing left to do. "Will Tian Mingfei and Kong Meiling be fine on their own? Cai Xiaoren is surely not an easy opponent."

Zhou Cheng makes a noise that might be a groan. "The two of them can manage. I have faith in them."

Well. It's not like we can help in our current state as it is. Zhou Cheng could probably find them now, given a little time, but he has to recover first.

I kill the heat entirely, letting the cauldron cool as I nudge the ingredients a little with my Qi, siphoning away the impurities and letting them collect on the bottom like sediment in a lake. A few more minutes to let it condense and coalesce, then I carefully poured the elixir into a bottle, before leaning over to offer it to Zhou Cheng as he leans up on a shaky arm. "The medicine's ready. Be sure to integrate it carefully."

The cheeky little shit opened his mouth rather than take it. I know you're tired and exhausted, but you're not that tired! "Shameless," I scold, a slight smile on my face as I gently fed him the medicine.

He made a face at the taste. Unfortunately, all medicine is cursed to be bitter. "I learned from watching you," he retorts, still grimacing as he wipes his mouth on the sleeve of my spare robe. It was the only thing we had on hand that he could wear, given he apparently didn't think to bring any spares of his own.

It was entirely too loose on him, but he seemed to appreciate it.

"Ah? Shouldn't you be the one setting the example, Senior?" I settle in next to him, and without a hint of shame, he shifts over so he can lay in my lap. Since when has he been so needy?

Well. It's not like I mind. This is cute too. He's probably just trying to make up for lost time - three years is a long time when you're only thirteen. Technically, it's still a pretty long time when you're fifteen, but you know. How old I am is a matter of debate even to myself. How old I feel keeps changing too. Sometimes I feel like a teenager. Sometimes I feel like an old man.

Stupid soul. Make up your damn mind. Am I fifteen or not?

"A wise man once told me to listen to my juniors," he mumbles, looking like he was trying to fight off a yawn, "And judge their words on their merits."

Cheeky brat. "Is that so? A wise man also once told me 'do as I say, not as I do.'"

His face scrunches up. "That doesn't sound very-haaaaa… honourable, Lian-er."

"Perhaps not," I concede lightly, gently patting him on the head, "But we all have our own justifications for our actions. Sometimes we do the wrong things for reasons we think are right."

Sometimes we use a Curse to bring down our enemy because it's the only weapon we have, because someone has to do it and we can't just sit around waiting.

And in saying all of that, if Zhou Cheng ever tries anything remotely like it, I'll slap the shit out of him, Senior or not.

He didn't respond, save for just seeming petulant, so I just pet him on the head a little more.

"Go to sleep, Senior. You need to rest and recover."

He didn't say anything at first, looking up at me with bleary eyes. "... You'll still be here when I wake up, right?"

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Ah? "Of course. I'm not going anywhere, Zhou Cheng."

He closes his eyes, a satisfied little smile on his face. "Good," he declares quietly, "I won't let you go."

A few seconds later, his breathing evens out, leaving me cradling him in my lap. I let myself brush one more strand of hair from his face with a small sigh.

One of these days, he's going to be the death of me, isn't he?

----------------------------------------

By the time he woke up, I was already in the midst of serving breakfast.

He stretches slowly, arms reaching up above him, yawning a little before blinking bleary eyes. A hand runs through his hair, smoothing it out before fumbling around for where he left his ribbon to tie it up again.

I just hold it out to him, and for a moment, he looks at me like I'm something mystifying and wondrous. But then he takes it with a mumbled thanks, and starts making himself more presentable so I turn back to spooning out bowls of congee.

Hei Lian's Medicinal Congee - it brings back memories. I hope Senior Bang hasn't missed me too grievously.

Zhou Cheng cradles his bowl, and he almost looks like he's going to cry. For a long moment, I worried that he hated fish or something like that, or that he'd just gotten sick of congee or something, but then he was shoveling it into his mouth so quickly I panicked for a different reason.

"You're going to choke eating like that!"

My words would've been prophetic if I'd said them maybe a few seconds earlier, because Zhou Cheng was already choking by the time I even started saying the word. A few thumps on his back helped sort it out, letting him cough it back up.

"Sorry," he mutters weakly, and oh gods he's sniffling a little, "It's just… it's been so long."

I'd hoped the past three years hadn't impacted him that badly, but I guess it was too much to hope for. A part of me wants to know what the fuck Lei Ming did to him that he had this reaction to just eating some congee, but worrying about that is pointless. I already killed him.

More than that, I buried him. There was a chance he'd come back and haunt me, but I didn't care. I killed him once. I'll do it again.

But rather than worry about the potential vengeful ghost of that asshole, I needed to worry more about Zhou Cheng. I slowly reach out, pulling him against me and just letting him cry into my chest. I can't remember the last time he was ever this vulnerable in front of me - he was always trying to seem so strong and composed, keeping up his face.

I suppose nobody else is going to see him break down here but me. He certainly doesn't see the need to hold back, sliding his arms around my midriff and squeezing, and all I can do is just rub his back.

"Ah? Are we interrupting something?" calls a familiar voice, and my head snaps over to see Kong Meiling stumbling in from the edge of the clearing, an absolutely ruined looking Tian Mingfei leaning on her. Admittedly, Kong Meiling doesn't look all that much better, but even singed, ragged and covered in mud and blood, she still manages to somehow seem dignified and graceful.

Zhou Cheng just twists his head around enough that he can glare at them, but refuses to let me go - or even pull his head away from my chest. "Shut up," is all he says, sounding more petulant than angry.

Things really have changed if he's willing to be seen like this.

Tian Mingfei lets out a bark of laughter, and then immediately regrets that decision, clutching at her side. Kong Meiling gives her a scolding look and then rolls her eyes with a sigh, dragging her towards the two of us.

"I take it you defeated Cai Xiaoren then?"

"If only," Tian Mingfei laments, grimacing as she tries to settle by the fire and practically collapses instead. "We were lucky to get away alive - a Moonlight Stag seemed upset at the ruckus we were making and distracted him."

Kong Meiling makes a much more graceful display of settling down next to us, but there's no way to really hide the fact that her left arm just kind of swings limply at her side. "And you? I hope that Lei Ming has been neutralised. If he regroups with his servant, I fear for our success."

"Lei Ming is dead," I declare firmly, and Zhou Cheng tightens his hug a little.

The two of them glance at me, and then at Zhou Cheng. They share a look themselves, and don't comment.

"Then it's the four of us against Cai Xiaoren," Tian Mingfei declares, "Even for a monster like that, the odds are in our favour."

"I'd like to avoid a fight either way. Zhou Cheng needs to recover - and so do the both of you." If Tian Mingfei's confident we could win a fight, I don't think she's wrong. But just because we can win doesn't mean we need to fight. "We don't have to kill Cai Xiaoren as well. Frankly, with Lei Ming's death, what reason is there to continue?"

What are they going to say? 'We know he's dead, but you're still going to be a servant'?

"He seems like the type to seek revenge," Kong Meiling counters softly, "He is loyal enough to try it."

"So we should kill him preemptively?"

"It would be the simpler option."

I sigh, tilting my head back and biting back a groan. I can't even say she's wrong - but it just… it doesn't matter to me? I spent three years quite literally poisoning myself with hatred to kill Lei Ming. More than any practical concerns, I can't keep poisoning myself.

"If Cai Xiaoren seeks revenge, then we'll burn that bridge when we get to it. Until then, our business is done."

Both of them glance to Zhou Cheng at that, waiting to see if he'll countermand my words or disagree, but he's too busy hugging me to say anything. I'm a little surprised that both of them still seem to accept my words regardless.

They're still my Seniors, after all.

"Then what do we do for now? We still have… five odd days before the Hunt is over. I suppose the conclusion of that is rather settled, so we could return early."

Tian Mingfei strokes her chin thoughtfully. "Cai Xiaoren is likely unaware that Lei Ming has been defeated. He will either try to hunt us or execute his orders, whatever they were."

"Which very well might just be hunting us."

"Which very well might just be hunting us," she concurs. "So our best options are either to keep moving or retreat to safety. As Pretty Sister says, there is no reason to prolong the hunt. Lei Ming cannot win, regardless, and even if such a ruling were made, there is nobody to receive the prize."

At long last, Zhou Cheng felt fit to pull away - although he still didn't let go. "What reason do we have to return at all?" he declares, a lick of righteous indignation in his voice.

I just pat him gently on the back. He wants to leave then? I can't say I didn't expect something like this. Someone like Zhou Cheng… I think he would've left sooner or later. It was just a matter of an inciting incident. I can't say I didn't think about leaving the Sect after all of this was over, myself.

A change of scenery would do us good. Bury this whole stupid mess with Lei Ming.

"If nothing else, I would like to say my goodbyes. And if we have contribution points, we should spend them."

He, a little grudgingly admittedly, concedes that point with a small huff. "Then… let's take this opportunity to hunt through the Forest for everything we can get. We don't have to present anything to the Sect for this contest if Lei Ming is already dead."

"Wonderful! Now that we have that settled, is there enough food? I am simply famished!"

I roll my eyes. "I made enough for four on the off chance you would come, Senior Sister, but I fear I should've made enough for eight to satisfy your stomach."

"Ha! Then you should get started on a second pot, Junior!"

"I think we could do with some first aid first."

"Food is medicine isn't it? It's very necessary to recover!"

Hearing the sound of friendly voices, gently bantering with the smell of food…

Shit. I think I might cry.

"Zhou Cheng," I whisper quietly, "Are you going to let go now? I need to cook more congee before Tian Mingfei eats everything."

In response, he just tightens his grip on me and buries his face in my chest again.

… Okay. Guess I'll just have to manage.