It has been a long time since Roy felt something. Don't get me wrong; it's not like he is one of those ‘edge lord’ type guys who thinks that the world revolves around them. Nor like those misogynistic guys who think that feeling something in your heart makes you less of a man, and hates doing anything that is not considered manly. It’s quite the opposite really. He despises these individuals and kind of wishes they would just disappear from the face of the planet so they can no longer spread their poison. But that’s a discussion for another time.

In his mind, Roy thinks of himself as a mob character. Someone who exists in this world but doesn’t really have any effect on the storyline. And Roy knows his capabilities. He knows that he has neither the talent nor the willpower to do something great with his life. He knows that he will finish his bachelor’s degree with average grades, get an average job, and lead an average life. Even his looks are totally average. He has a well-maintained physique with a healthy weight distribution; but it’s no six pack. His facial features are symmetrical, complementing his fair skin tone, deep brown eyes and smooth black hair.

He is truly in all sense, average. But he is fine with that. Well, at first, he wasn’t. He truly realized these things when he was 18 and was having an existential crisis like every other teenager around the world. After realizing these, he had a small breakdown, but surprisingly, amidst that breakdown, he also had an epiphany. He realized he doesn’t really want to be someone "great." Rather, being average was more like Roy. If truly considering something significant, then Roy had a bit of pride about something else. It was that he believed himself to be quite mature for his age. It might sound edgy, but in reality, he was quite right. After all, most people spend their whole 20s' trying to figure out what they truly want with their lives. Meanwhile Roy has figured out what he truly wanted by the time he was only 18.

All in all, he was set to have an extremely average life. But there was this slight hiccup; he was extremely bored with his life. It was like getting spoilers for a really good murder thriller movie where you know that the cheerful English teacher killed all his students. There is no suspense, no excitement, no thrill, no sense of anticipation. You see an adorable scene where the teacher is feeding the injured street dog, but instead of feeling happy or sad, you feel total emptiness. Just like that, Roy felt totally empty most of the time because, in his mind, he knew where his life was going. Although he feels empty, he does not behave like a grumpy Bond villain. He still laughs when he sees a funny meme, gives sad react in group texts after hearing some bad news, becomes angry when any decision doesn’t go in his favor, but at the end of the day, he doesn’t really care for any of those things.

No matter what he tried, whether it was extreme sports or immersing himself in entertainment, he couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness. He even had two relationships. One was for 8 months and the other for a year. Yet it seemed that nothing could truly ignite a lasting spark within him, leaving him searching for something more meaningful in life.

Roy hated not feeling anything. He wanted to properly experience life. He also knew that this sense of apathy is not at all normal and he needed to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible. But he hasn’t gone to a psychiatrist for the last couple of years because he was extremely embarrassed. Not because he thought going to psychiatrist will make him look like a freak or something. He hasn’t gone to a psychiatrist till today, because he thought that his problem was so minuscule that it didn’t need extra attention. After all people has real problems like anxiety and depression. In contrast to those cases, his life was going fine. He was living up to his potential by being totally average in everything. And not in a sarcastic way. But today was a little different. Today is the day that he has realized that he needs professional help. So, what happened that changed Roy’s mind?

Today marks the 10th anniversary of the death of his brother. Roy did not have any particular memories of his brother. His brother, Tom, was born with a damaged heart. It was like, just after being born, he got handed his death sentence. The doctor said the only possible solution was surgery, but it was medically impossible to do heart surgery on a child that young. He died after staying in the ICU for three days. This unfortunate incident not only left Roy's mother physically injured but also rendered her unable to conceive in the future. As a result, the family faced the double blow of dealing with her significant health challenges and the loss of their hopes for expanding their family.

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Every year on this day, Roy always ordered a pineapple pizza, which he hated by the way, and ate that alone in his room to commemorate a day that he truly wished to forget. Today, he did the same ritual that he has done for the last 10 years. But the disturbing fact was that today he truly could not remember the events of that ominous day, and worst of all, he did not feel sad about it. To be perfectly clear, he did not feel anything at all. Rather, he kind of liked eating the pineapple pizza and was thinking of ordering another one. After realizing what was happening, panic got hold of him. He felt like throwing up. In that moment, Roy’s head was filled with questions. Questions like: What was happening to me? Why couldn’t I remember that day? Why didn’t I feel anything? Do I really not care about my own brother? Also, why the hell was I going to order another pineapple pizza? It basically tastes like shit.

Roy realized that he was having a major panic attack. But he was a quite mature person, so the moment he realized that he was having a panic attack, he started to calm himself down. He did the breathing exercise he did at the yoga class that he did last summer. He also tried to sit in a sort of meditative pose that he had read about in books. It took Roy a solid 5 minutes to calm himself down. He opened his eyes and said out loud,

“Am I turning into a psychopath?”

At this point, he gave a long sigh and thought to himself that it was time to seek professional help. He reached for his phone and searched for the best psychiatrists available within a 50-mile radius. The hourly rate was not an issue for him. After all, this matter was extremely serious. He spent an hour finding the right psychiatrist for him, Dr. Vishal Rajesh, a guy with degrees from both Harvard and Stanford. Roy quickly called the office and booked an appointment for tomorrow at 10 in the morning. He also sent an email to his professor saying that he wouldn’t be coming in tomorrow because of an emergency. Roy also cancelled any plans he had for tomorrow with his friends. After taking care of everything, he realized that it was already midnight. Roy threw out the rest of the pizza, took a long, hot shower, and set an alarm for 7 in the morning. He fell asleep as soon as he reached his bed. This was a bad day for Roy.

Roy woke up hearing the loud noise of his alarm. He went to the washroom and brushed his teeth. Roy reached for his closet and took out a dark blue shirt and black chinos. He did not want to stand out with the clothes he was wearing, but at the same time, he wanted to look presentable at the very least. Roy took his wallet, his credit cards, his keys and went out of his house. It will take him an hour if the traffic is okay. Roy went to his car and started driving. He planned to take a donut and a coffee on his way there.

Roy reached there at 9:30, and he still had half an hour to kill. He checked in with the receptionist, took a random magazine, and sat in a corner. He found some really interesting articles about psychology. As a marketing major, Roy had some idea about psychology, but it was mostly related to business aspects. But the clinical aspects of psychology were still a mystery to him. So, it was quite fun to learn about some new topics. Before he could realize it, his half-hour wait time was over, and the receptionist called his name in the most monotonous way possible. He looked up from the magazine and realized that the waiting room was almost full. Without delaying any further, Roy followed the receptionist to Mr. Rajesh’s room. After knocking and entering, he observed the room.

The room had a sort of classical 20th century design. There was a bookshelf with different types of books. Mostly about psychology but he noticed multiple novels written by Dan Brown. There were other books too but he did not recognize them. But judging from the color of the covers, he could deduce that they were mostly mystery/thrillers. So, Mr. Rajesh is a mystery/thriller fan. Pretty generic to be honest.

During his observation he did not fail to notice the trophy shelf that Mr. Rajesh had. It was adorned with his multiple degrees and crests from different universities. So…definitely not that humble. But, that’s not a bad thing. It just meant he was competent enough to be brag.

Seeing Roy standing there, Mr. Rajesh gave him a reassuring smile and gestured to him to sit down in the couch. Roy gave a slight nod and moved towards the couch. But the moment he sat down in the couch; he heard a loud ring inside his head. It was as if a notification was being played. But even before he could analyze what happened, he was blinded by a bright light.

And the moment before Roy lost consciousness, he heard a sweet female voice with British accent saying inside his head,

[Initializing the integration of 53rd Universe with the System]