When I realized it, the month of September and first two weeks of October had gone by. Between classes, work and dealing with Abby’s shenanigans, there wasn’t a single day I hadn’t felt tired. Abby, I felt, was the biggest contributor.
Every week she asked me to hangout during the weekend, but since we were still in a bit of a high season, I also worked both shifts on Saturdays and lunch time on Sundays, so that wasn’t possible. It was a pain seeing her so excited when asking only to see her deflate every time I told her I couldn’t.
Still, even if she was a pain, I couldn’t help but feel some gratitude towards her. Were it not for her help with homework, I would be buried in it on every weekend. What little homework I had left, I was able to do it in an hour or so. Also, as time went by, I came to appreciate her company. Although I appreciated the peace and quiet, I began to miss her whenever she skipped class and I had to endure the boredom and sleepiness alone. Not that I would ever admit it to her.
I looked fearfully to my alarm clock. I was relieved to see there were still three hours until I was supposed to meet with Abby at the park. I still didn’t want to leave my bed. I really didn’t, but shouldn’t I get up? I would feel terrible were I to end up oversleeping, leaving her hanging. But if I got up, then what? It would only take me thirty minutes for breakfast and a shower. I didn’t even have to go through the agonizing process of deciding what to wear. It had already been decided way before, as I would be wearing the dress she gave me.
Thinking back to that day, I thought I really had overreacted, hadn’t I? Ok, she did not let me go when I asked her to, but was it really ok for me to blow up on her? No, of course not. She had been super nice to me ever since she told me she’d be my friend. And even afterwards she stayed like that. There was also the fact I was the one who hugged first. Was I really that happy just because of a dress?
Am I just one of those girls?
What was I thinking? Of course not! That dress just reminded me so much of the one I didn’t get to buy. Yeah, that was it.
I really should try to be nicer to her.
Blood was rushing to my cheeks as I thought that. It made me feel awake and the bed uncomfortably warm.
“Ugh… Guess I’ll just get up.”
After taking care of my bath and eaten, I ended up facing myself with the dress, feeling overly self-conscious. I liked seeing it but while wearing it, my arms always ended up covering my chest. There really wasn’t a reason for it. It’s not like it was see-through. What caused my embarrassment was me not wearing a bra with it. I felt naked. I could say I even felt a little dirty. For that, I could thank my grandma. As soon as I had my first period, she made me wear one. You are a lady now! Propper ladies don’t go around without their underwear! is what she would tell me. Why did I even bother though? It’s not like I had need for one.
“Ah! I went and got myself depressed,” I whined.
I was standing there, arms still crossed in front of me, head hanging down, when something snapped me out of that slump. My phone was ringing. I was a bit surprised when I saw it was Abby calling me. We exchanged numbers the next day after we became classmates, but this would be our first conversation on the phone. And my first call with anyone that wasn’t my dad.
“He-hello?” I said nervously while trying not to sound depressed.
“Hey Violet! What’s up?” she called back, cheerful as always.
“What’s up? Erm… Nothing much… just getting ready I suppose,” I mumbled, forgetting it was still two and a half hours until our meeting.
“My, my. Are you that excited to hang out?”
I was going to refute her, but I stopped myself. I decided to try a different approach.
“Well…I suppose I’m a little… yeah,” I stumbled.
The last part sounded to me like garbled whispers. Even so, she seemed to make sense of them just fine.
“I wasn’t expecting that,” she said, a bit lost for words. “Hmm… thanks Violet. I’m happy to hear that.”
I didn’t answer, I just stood there like a statue, my head steaming of embarrassment. I didn’t think saying something so simple would be so hard on me.
“Anyway, what are you wearing? No, wait. That’s not it. What I mean is, what are you going to wear?”
She said her final words in a way which seemed like she was flustered. Why was that?
I remembered her looking for this dress and simply blurting for me to undress. That had been a really mortifying moment.
“Well, I’m going to wear the dress as we had agreed upon,” I said after collecting myself.
“Oh, that? You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she said in a reassuring voice.
“No! A deal is a deal. I’m wearing it,” I argued back.
“That so? Then, I can’t wait to—Ah, sorry Violet. My dad wants to talk to me, so I’ll have to hang up.”
“Oh… erm, it’s ok… thanks for calling me.”
I sounded a bit disappointed as I said it. Probably because I didn’t get to hear what she was going to say.
“You’re welcome. Oh, and Violet?”
“Y-yes?”
“Please wear a bra if that makes you feel comfortable, ok? Otherwise, you will be stressing out and making a face I won’t be able to resist teasing until you get mad at me, ok? Bye,” she blurted before she hanged-up.
“What the hell? Is she always going to drop bombshells like it’s nothing?”
I got to our meeting spot too early and so, I sat under the shade as I waited. To stall the time, I was letting my imagination run wild about what was it that Abby had planned. I had about three ideas, and they all ended with her laughing at me. Was I just being mean?
I was feeling sleepy and, as I was starting to stretch, something jabbed my sides. To my shame, I squeaked as I wrapped my arms around my ribs.
“Hi there! My, that was a funny, no wait… cute sound you just made,” Abby said, laughing loudly as she sat by me.
“Abby! You scared me half to death,” I reprimanded, feeling my heartbeat ringing in my ears.
“Sorry, sorry. I just couldn’t let this opportunity go by again.”
“Again? What do you mean?” I asked confused.
“Every day during class, you’ve been teasing me by doing that. Today was payback!” she proclaimed victoriously.
“Well, thanks for not doing it in class, I suppose,” I mumbled back.
“Thanks. It wasn’t easy but I did my best!”
“I’m still a bit mad for your scare though.”
“If I say, ‘you look good today’, will you forgive me?”
Her face showed no signs of having understood I was joking.
“No, you don’t have to,” I stumbled. “I’m not really mad. I was just trying to be funny.”
“That so?” she said inquisitively. “Hmm, can I ask you why you are being so nice today?” and before I could really register her words, she added nice-er. I meant that you are being nicer today.
Choosing to ignore her absent minded sly, I pondered how I would explain my thoughts of that morning. I didn’t even bother thinking how to dodge her question. Her eyes told me she wouldn’t let it slide even if I tried. Filling my chest with air, I started my confession.
“Well, you are always acting so cheerful around me, but I’m always getting mad at you. I… I want to be a better… friend. I’m… sorry for getting so mad at you the day you gave me this dress…”
Her only reaction was rocking her body side to side with her eyes shut and a smile. For a moment I wondered if she was listening to music as I spoke my mind. She calmly hopped towards me, practically reducing the gap between us to zero, and wrapped her hands around my neck, her arms slightly stretched. I stiffened a bit as I expected another hug.
This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.
“Relax, I’m not going to hug you,” she told me reassuringly.
“Then… what is this?” I asked even more confused.
“Since you get so embarrassed when I hug you, I decided to try this.”
“No, no. I think this is way worse.”
“That’s good. If you get used to this, imagine the possibilities!” she said as she put her arms down.
“How can you even say those things?” I asked, feeling more impressed than anything.
“Simple! I’m a happy-go-lucky girl with no filter between her mind and mouth! Still,” she paused to give me an impish smile. “Did I just hear you say that I’m your friend?”
“Y-yeah, I… guess so…” I mumbled while averting my eyes.
“I was going to ask you that by the end of our meet up, but having you say it by your own will is way better. Thank you, Violet” She then added, while giving me another impish smile, do you think you’ll ever call me your best friend?
I was now feeling my face so warm I had no doubt I was as red as I could possibly be. Even my ears were burning. I felt like just taking off running, but my legs were frozen in place.
“Just say something you idiot,” I yelled to myself in my mind. “Didn’t you want to change? Well, now is the time.”
“Anyway, should we get going? There is this place close by where they sell a lot of different flavours of ice cream. All of them good!” she said as she got up.
My opportunity had passed. Relief and frustration were being mixed in my mind.
“You are my only friend, so…” I muttered under my breath.
“Violet?”
I looked at her, with a jolt. She was smiling at me from ear to ear. Did she perhaps hear me? Did I actually say it louder than I thought? She rocked her body side to side again before opening her mouth.
“Are you coming? Or is it that you don’t like ice cream?”
“I-I do…” I said, ejecting myself from the bench.
“Good. That might help you cool down a little.”
“Stop making fun of me!” I spat.
“Nope. I won’t make that promise, ever.”
Walking side by side, we went down the path she indicated. I noticed her pace matched mine. I wasn’t sure if it was due to my stride matching her walking speed or if she was adjusting for me. Either way, it felt kinda nice this sort of arrangement. At school there were always too many people walking around for us to walk like this. Short as she was, she was forced to walk behind me to avoid people bumping into her constantly. This allowed me to peek at her face. I did so because she was weirdly quiet all of a sudden. That had never happened before, so the fear that she was now bored started to creep in. Wanting to find out, I looked directly at her this time. She didn’t look bored; rather, she looked lost in thought. That was… good? I got curious what was it that made her so quiet. Suddenly, she rotated her head towards me, and our eyes met.
“Sorry, did you say something?”
“N-no, nothing at all.”
“So… is there something more you want to tell me?”
“No, I was just wondering what had gotten you so quiet.”
“Oh, that? I’m just having a hard time deciding which flavour I should pick. Do you have any favourite?” she said as she looked to the sky, still with the same expression.
“Hmm… If I had to choose, I think it would be coffee.”
“Hmm… yeah, that actually suits you, I’d say,” she nodded. “Hey, which one do you think suits me?”
Now it was my turn to look up. Rummaging through my brain, at the start I thought I wouldn’t be able to come up with any answer. I really didn’t know her. And for all intents and purposes, it was a weird kind of question, no doubt about it. But surprisingly enough, it came to me, clear as the day we were having.
“Caramel and pecan nuts,” I said, sounding something satisfied with my answer. I probably was. It really wasn’t something I would ever think about but was able to come up with.
“Oh! That’s pretty good!” she clapped. “Yup, yup. Because I’m a sweety, clingy and nutty girl, right?”
“Ah, sorry! I didn’t mean anything bad by it…” I urgently pleaded.
“Oh, ahaha. I didn’t take offence. Actually, I liked it a lot. In fact, I might write it down to make sure I won’t forget.”
“I-I’d rather you didn’t.”
“So that I won’t bring it up in the future?”
“Yeah… I’d be mortified if you started to take notes of this kind of stuff.”
“All the more reason to do it.”
“Why!?”
“Why you ask? Hmm… wouldn’t you like to, in a year time, have a list of stuff we did together?”
That… didn’t sound bad. If we were to stay friends for that long, it could be fun to do as she said, even if embarrassing. Saying that to her was another thing though.
“Well, regardless of your answer, I might still do it. When the time comes, I’ll let you decide if you read it or not.”
“There really isn’t any arguing with you, is there?”
“You are starting to understand me, huh?”
Was I really? I always felt like she was dragging me while I simply let it happen. Not that it was a bad thing. Were I left on my own, I would still be doing nothing in my life besides going to school, work and stay at home. I’d still be the same person I wanted to change. I might not be actually starting to understand her, but I felt like if I were to keep trying to keep-up with her, I would eventually get to that point.
“Hold on a sec Violet,” she told me, halting our walk.
She was shifting her gaze between the shop we were now in front of and myself. She was holding her fist against her lips and had again a face of someone in deep thought.
“Yeah, I should…” she muttered as she began to point to my bare shoulders. “There are a lot of people inside. Are you really ok with going in there like that?”
Truth be told, I had been so busy with her, I had completely forgotten to fuss about my clothes.
“Don’t worry,” I assured her while pointing to my handbag. “I brought a… one in case I couldn’t handle it.”
“As to be expected from you. If that’s the case… actually no, never mind.”
“What? What were you going to say?”
“It’s nothing, really. I’m just curious about something, but now is not the time.”
“So now you worry about that?” I asked a bit irked for some reason. “Well, just say it. I promise I will try not to get mad.”
“Well… ok…” she gave in with a sigh. “I wanted to ask you why you have so much trouble about… that.”
Today was being a day where I was going to tell her a lot of stuff that bothered me, wasn’t it? She was acting in such a way that, if I didn’t give her a proper answer, I’d feel bad because she would be thinking another line was crossed. When my options were weighted, her feelings on this subject somehow outweighed mine. Was that what it was like being friends with others? It felt like a pain in the ass, but I had accepted her offer of friendship so that was it.
No, that’s not right.
I was going to tell her because I wanted to confide her, as a friend.
“It’s because of my grandma. Ever since I was thirteen, she would get really mad if she noticed I wasn’t wearing one.”
“Since you were thirteen? Why? You don’t even…”
Even though she stopped midsentence, I knew very well what she meant. And her face, like that of a child—even more so than usual—that was caught doing something she shouldn’t be doing, sucked my will to get mad.
“It’s ok. It really bothers me that I’m flat as a board, but there really isn’t anything I can do right?” I told her as I patted my chest. “Anyway, it’s because according to her, a lady should never be without proper clothing. Only loose women would do so.”
She gave me a couple of nods while looking confused.
“Ok, I get it. She’s one of those really old-fashioned ladies. But still, at thirteen? Wouldn’t it make more sense now that you are a high schooler?”
“Now would be a bit hard… she passed away on the twelfth of June,” I said, trying not to sound too down by it. “And it was at thirteen that I… had my… first… m-menst… you know.”
“Oh. Ooh. Sorry that I asked…” she said awkwardly. I found it cute, she doing so. Maybe that was why she did it so many times to me? Not that I considered myself cute like her. It also made this conversation a bit more awkward.
“It’s alright. To tell you the truth, I feel like a weight was lifted off my chest.”
“Ok, but… ever since I got here, I’ve just been bringing the mood down, right? And I had planned for us to have fun,” she whined.
Seeing her like that was tugging my heartstrings.
“But we still have time, right? What time is it?” I said looking to my phone clock. “Almost ten. We practically have three whole hours, so we can just make up for the lost time.”
My attempts of cheer were met with her shaking her head side to side.
“My parents want me back home before midday. We are going to a business lunch at an associate’s place,” she said completely disheartened.
Well, that was a bust. Now what?
Looking for answers in my mind, again none were coming up. Nothing except one thing.
Hug her.
Certainly, I could come up with something else.
Hug her!
The something else was refusing to come up and the voice in my head was now more of a shout.
Without really knowing what I was doing, I approached her and wrapped an arm around her neck and the other around her right arm and back. After a couple of seconds, I had her arms around my torso.
“To cheer me up?”
“Hmm. Ye-yeah. I’m not… doing it too hard… am I?”
“Hehe, thanks. Ease up just a bit around my neck, please.”
While she sounded like she was having a merry time, I was looking around to make sure there wasn’t anyone who could see us. Fortunately for my mental health, that side of the park was completely vacant.
“Just tell me when you want to stop,” she instructed me.
Right about now it was getting stuffy, and we were starting to stick where our skins touched. The fact we had so much skin contact was also bothering me a lot.
“It’s ok… I’ll leave it up to you,” I told her, while trying to put those feelings aside. Or at the very least, under control.
“Really? That’s so nice of you,” she said while tightening her grip and, without missing a beat, she added just like your smell.
“OK, never mind. I’m calling it off!”
“Please Violet! Just five more minutes,” she whined.
“Minutes?! What do you think I am? An alarm clock?”
She pulled some distance between us while still having me wrapped in her arms. She got on the tips of her toes, our faces now standing a palm’s length away from each other. I had her wide-open eyes meeting mine. I noticed her brown eyes were sprinkled a shade of moss-green here and there. They truly were lovely.
Still, I wished she would just let go.
“I have an idea to make up for today! Do you work tonight?” she asked excitedly.
“Huh? No, I… don’t?”
“In that case, let’s do a sleep over at your house!”
“A-a sleep over? At my house?”
“Well, if you think I’m a bother, wait until you meet my parents. My mum specially. She is a… bit hard to deal with.”
That did sound like a real pain in the ass.
Still, a sleep over?
I really didn’t have a reason to say no, besides me feeling awkward.
Her eyes now reminded me of a small animal begging for treats.
“Well, can we? I’ll bring some movies for us to watch.”
“I-I suppose… yeah,” I said, not resisting those puppy eyes. That, I believed, was something I should start to be wary about.
“Yay!” she shouted as she went back to hugging. So excitable this girl.
“Abby, c’mon! I’m all sweaty!” I welled.
“No problem. I don’t really care abo— Ah!” she said as she let my body go. “Déjà vu, right? Should I say sorry?”
“No need,” I sighed. “I just have to accept that I will sometimes get squeezed without me wanting to, ri—”
“That’s no good! If I’m doing something you don’t want me to, you should tell me right away. Otherwise, we will just repeat what happened the other day, right?”
I gave her a slight nod. For some reason I found myself thinking I’d rather feel comfortable with her antics than telling her off all the time. Probably because it would be less bothersome. Despite all her faults, she let me be myself around her, so maybe that was why I wanted to let her be herself around me too? It was still a huge bother though.
“Should we get inside now? I should be ok for an hour more before they start calling me. We can use that time to plan what we will be doing at your place.”
“Yeah, let’s.”
“Good, good,” she said nodding expectantly. “Our previous talk gave me a hankering for caramel and pekan nuts ice cream.”
After we parted ways after our planning session, I went back home in such a speedy pace, I was almost running. I had to make my lunch, thoroughly clean the house, buy groceries, and prepare the dinner. There was so much to do until her arrival, it got my head spinning.