Today I was supposed to go to therapy in the morning, but Violet wasn’t making it easy.

At first, it was the usual stuff. We were spooning, me being the little spoon so, when I tried to get up when I woke up, Violet pulled me back inside the bed. I tried talking with her about it, but she was too drowsy and decided to cross a leg over me to better pin me down. Super cute and sweet, but right now, annoying. She was holding on to me so tightly, it was hard to turn around to face her.

“Babe! Babe, wake up,” I told her.

“…Don’t wanna…” she whined while snuggling me.

“Haah, why are you always so clingy in the morning?”

“…You feel nice to hold…”

She was also very honest, as I already knew from past experience. Although that honesty has become more and more prominent with her wide awake.

I combed away the mess of hair covering her face while telling her we’d have trouble if she kept telling me such sweet nothings. She only opened one eye—if we can call the miniscule slit “open”, and after a moany groan, she moved to lay on top of me, putting my heart in full gear. If only she didn’t seem to have gone back to sleep immediately.

“Ouch! What was that for!?” she whined as she rubbed the shoulder I bit.

“That’s for you being so misleading! Humph!” I huffed as I got out of the bed.

“W-wha—? What do you mean?”

I stuck my tongue out and got out of the room, still putting on clothes.

Stupid Violet, getting my hopes up. Falling asleep while we are having a moment. It’s fine! That’s just fine!

I opened the door of the fridge and took out the milk and shook it. There was little left, so I didn’t even bother to pour it into the bowl and started chugging.

“Abby wait!”

“What?” I barked before keeping on drinking the milk until she pulled it away from my mouth.

“Abby, that’s out of date!”

“Oh… I-I see…”

I had just woken up with my mouth feeling a tad dry, making me think that was why it was tasting a bit weird.

She took the carton out of my hand and shook it. Before, my mouth was dry, but now it was the carton. And how full of worry Violet was as she looked at me.

I assured her about not having drunk all that much, so I should be fine, but she was still being fussy around me.

“Babe, for real, I’ll be fine,” I told her more firmly while holding the hands she had on my face. “You’re kicking a fuss out of nothing. Worst case scenario, I’ll be in the bathroom for a bit, ok?”

“…I’m so sorry…” It took me a second to understand her sorry was more directed to what happened in the bedroom than in the kitchen. “I don’t know what I did that got you mad, but… I’m sorry…”

One good thing that came out of drinking spoiled milk was, it gave me something else to think for long enough to be more clear-minded about what had happened.

I apologised to her and explained what she had done, much to her embarrassment. Then, she offered me her apologies for doing that half-awake. According to her, she was somewhat aware while doing it, but once she got into a comfortable position, she immediately passed out again.

“Sometimes I wish I had that capability instead of being wide awake as soon as I open my eyes.”

“Haah, it can be a real problem though.”

“True, but so can having trouble falling back asleep when waking up in the middle of the night.”

“Hmm? But you actually fall asleep super easily.”

Yeah, when I’m sleeping with her, which now was every night. It’s been months since I slept alone. I don’t think I’d be able to now, anyway. Not because of nightmares—those felt like shadows of a past long gone despite it being only a few months ago that I was tormented with them. I’d just be missing Violet presence like crazy.

Thinking and telling her that made us go all silly over one another, and we quickly got into kissing. It was only one kiss we shared, though.

“Ugh! I can taste the milk,” Violet complained with a twisted scow.

“Come on Violet! Give me some sugar!” I joked as I pulled her closer.

“Nuh-hu! We’ll brush our teeth first!” she told me while pushing my face away from hers. “And don’t you have an appointment to go to?”

“Ah! I almost forgot!”

I rushed to the bathroom. Before putting anything else in my mouth, I’d wash away the bad taste with toothpaste since my Violet wasn’t willing to do that.

All this talk of taste and seeing the two toothpaste tubes reminded me of our first kiss. To me, I’ll always associate mint with that. I wondered if she associated strawberry in her mind.

There’s a nice way to find out.

I gargled, spat and rushed back to her.

“That was—Hmm!”

Fast, yes. I was on a schedule and in the mood for making out.

“How do I taste now?” I asked, still hanging from her neck.

“Erm, like strawberries?” she asked a bit suspicious.

“And does that remind you of something?”

“Erm… no, not…”

She got quiet, but the colour of her face spoke volumes, and with some prodding and teasing, I made her say what I already knew she’d admit remembering: our first kiss.

The second place I kissed was where I had sunk my teeth and properly apologized for having acted that way.

Violet simply told me to sit down while she prepared our breakfast.

We casually talked about nothing in particular. The idea was to enjoy each other’s company as much as possible since it’d be about an hour until I came back.

“You sure you don’t want me to come?” she asked after I kissed her goodbye.

I saw no point in her coming. What afflicted me the most had been the nightmares, and like I previously stated, those weren’t something I felt like I needed to worry about.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

The second thing, I’d say, were my self-worth issues, but after finding out Violet loved me in the same way I loved her, I got quite the boost in my self-esteem. I wasn’t fully healed in that aspect, but at least I wouldn’t go into those negative spirals like before, nor would I right away disregard anyone pointing out good aspects about me.

In conclusion, there really was no point in making her sit in an office while she could stay here and take one of her naps in the comfort of an airconditioned room. In fact… was there a point of me going?

Hmm… maybe I could cut back in the amount of times I go instead?

As better as I’ve gotten, cutting it out completely might not be wise. At least not without talking it through with my therapist and Violet. Going twice a month instead of four—or six, like at the beginning—should be enough at my current state.

◊◊◊

Now that I was alone, what should I do?

First things first, I should fix our bed, and while I’m at it, might as well put new sheets. Then, what?

“Morning Violet,” my in-law greeted with a yawn.

“It’s rare to see you get up this late,” I commented after greeting him back.

“I was up all night working on a personal project. And speaking of personal, I hope I’m not intruding, but what were you two arguing about so early in the morning?”

“Oh, you heard that? Erm… it was about… the, erm… milk…?”

He didn’t seem to believe me, but he chose to play along. You do argue about the silliest of things, I think I heard him say as he opened the newspaper with a second yawn.

I was about to leave him to his readings when William asked Abby’s whereabouts. When I told him, he looked surprised.

“Alone?”

“She really did get a lot better,” I told him with a nod.

“Indeed, and I think a lot of it is thanks to you.”

I turned red from such straightforward sincerity. I tried to tell him he was giving me too much credit, but I was fumbling for words.

I retreated to the bedroom to save face instead of trying to form a sentence. Housework always worked to keep my mind busy.

I apologised Mr. Sealy for disturbing his resting spot and relocated him to the desk before beginning my work proper.

“Hmm, why do we even bother with two of these?” I wondered while taking out one of the pillow covers. Every night, Abby would use my arm, shoulder, and/or chest as her headrest, so having two pillows served no other purpose besides cluttering the already small bed.

Unsure what to do about it, I sent a text asking for her opinion. I had to pick my phone up right after having put it besides Mr. Sealy. Her response was to simply put away one of the pillows and for me to wait for her to get home so she could help me. Also, a heart emoji.

Erm, how do I send her one too?

I would ignore her request and do as much as possible. That way, once she’s back, we’ll have more time for couple stuff. Although… doing house chores together also constituted as couple stuff, doesn’t it?

“I bet she could go for something sweet after she’s done with her appointment,” I told to the new bedcover. “It will be about three hours until lunch, so… why not?”

I grabbed my phone to check the time. There could be no way it had been only fifteen minutes since she left.

“Haah.”

I sat on the bed, literally twirling my thumbs. Honestly, what to do now?

Moments like these were when I thought it’d be nice to have some part-time job again, but after reminding myself what I had gone through in my last one, that thought fizzled out immediately. If it was to be bored—those were the “good” days, then, being bored but at home was better.

I flopped on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Something was missing there. On the bed, I mean, not the ceiling. With that, you can guess what it was.

I had grown very attached to Abby. Some might say too much. Will I be ok when it’s time for her to go to classes during university while I stay at home or go to a part-time job? If not, then I’d have to adjust to it. I could change and adapt, I’ve seen it happen.

…Couldn’t that also be extended to me getting used to Abby no longer being around?

“…Haah, what a pain…”

Such a depressive intrusive thought. Maybe I would, but thinking about my life without her… no thank you. I’d rather never get used to missing her a whole lot of five minutes after she left for an hour.

It was still preferable to feel lonely now because she isn’t with me than feeling lonely because there’s nobody in my life. Yes, I had my father before, but he “had” to love and want to be with me. I didn’t “earn” his love. It’s not the same as someone choosing to do that for you when they have no obligation, they just come to like you, plus the effort those feelings invoked.

At least, that’s what I concluded after tossing that thought around my head.

“…I’ll start to get ready to pick her up.”

Effort, that was something I could do to pass the time. Since she wasn’t there with me, I’d put an extra amount of that to surprise Abby. A thorough bath, followed by finally using the exfoliant and hydrating cream I had bought last year thinking I’d start taking care of my appearance for my high school debut, plus some of her hair conditioner to make it softer and shinier. There really wasn’t much need for that yet, but might as well also wax my legs since Abby liked so much to play with them when I did it.

“I wish I had some perfume,” I grumbled as I rushed down my home corridor to fetch my shower provisions and go back to Abby’s apartment with Oliver in hot pursuit.

“What’s the hurry?”

“Ah, dad! H-hi.”

He greeted me and asked again why I was in such a rush.

Very succinctly, I told him what was going on in my mind as I threw my stuff into a plastic bag I had brought and asked him if he had any perfume I could borrow.

“I haven’t had a use for any of that since your mother passed away,” was his answer “Besides, male perfume is different. Although… maybe it would work since you and Abby are both girls…?”

“…”

“…What? Did I just say something incredibly stupid?”

“I was just wondering… you never thought about meeting someone new?”

“Pfft, what? Are you implying you want a new mother?” he joked.

“Dad, don’t make me mad,” I warned him. “You know I’m being serious.”

“I know… I know,” he said, taking a more sombre demeanour. “…Now that you’re all grown up, maybe I should start thinking about it… I don’t know sweety, it’s been so long, I’m not sure I can even talk to someone of the opposite gender without creeping them out.”

He was easy-going but dependable, very hardworking, but always found time if you needed or asked him—and I’m suspicious of saying this, but he was also quite the handsome man. He also wasn’t even forty-years old. I might not be straight, but I think my dad was quite the catch for any lady willing to give him a chance.

Honestly, I don’t think the excuse he gave me was the real one—or the full one, but mum. My dad was still loyal to her, even after a decade. I knew that well because I could see the sadness and how he missed her when she was brought up and, were it me in his shoes, I’d do the exact same. It was admirable and his choice if that’s how he wanted to live, but I was finding myself wanting him to find someone to keep him company after I leave the house. He had friends, sure, but I now knew the comfort a lover brings, and so did he. There’s no way he didn’t miss that.

“Abby is right, you totally are a mother,” he teased me in response to me voicing my worries.

“Oh, go cough up a hairball!”

“Meow?”

“No Oliver, not you. Don’t go coughing up hairballs, for the love of God.”

I scratched Oliver behind the ear, the little thing shutting his eyes in pure bliss as he leaned towards my hand. Unfortunately for him, I was in a hurry, so I pulled my hand away, making him tumble to the side. A “sorry” wasn’t enough for him to stop glaring in annoyance. I swear, that cat isn’t really a cat at all.

“Don’t you have a new female friend you could ask? About the perfume, I mean.”

“…You mean Mathilda?”

“Aren’t you two friends?”

“Are we?”

“I’m asking you that.”

We haven’t discussed anything about it, me and her. Then again, I think that’s how normal people operate instead of talking with someone and then saying “we are friends now” before the conversation even goes anywhere. Ah, the memories.

Anyway, could I say we were friends? I suppose so. I went to her house, ate her food, and we talked plenty of times for long whiles, so… I guess we were friends.

“Huh… it was easier than I remembered,” I thought out loud.

I wouldn’t call her though. There was barely any time for me to go through everything I had planned out.

Abby liked—rather, loved, my natural scent, so it would do. I don’t know if she’d even appreciate me putting on perfume at all.

Out of the bathroom, what was left was picking my clothes. I’d go with my usual going out attire, simple, quick to put on and Abby-approved. If only all my problems were this easy to—

“Ouch! Son of a… Oh, I should toss you out of the window!” I hissed at the box inside the closet that hurt the foot I was holding while hops coting. Sitting down and looking at my toenails, two of them had a bit of blood at the corners.

This has been about the third time this happened, but it never had been this bad of a kick. Fuming, I limped and grabbed the box, thinking whether I should place it at the top or move it to the storeroom, fighting the impulse of opening the window wide and toss it through. Angry as I was, I still had the presence of mind to tell me I shouldn’t be doing any of that without talking with Abby first. It was her stuff, and while we called this room “our bedroom”, this was still her place.

“Haah, calm down Violet Evergreen. Just put it over the bed.”

Maybe it was time to talk about the content inside the box? Abby had done so much progress, perhaps now she could tell me the story behind that green dress, high heels and make-up kit.

“…Feels a bit wrong of me asking her about it after a surprise date though…” I thought out loud while closing the lid. Then, I remembered I had better things to do. “Ah! I’m getting late!”

The box would stay on the bed, not because I wanted to confront her, but simply because I didn’t have the time for moral dilemmas. I had to go now.