Ellas

Carthia

I stirred, a yawn breaking my face as I became fully awake. Then as I slowly sat upright, realisation dawned on me, and the smile that stretched across my face showed plainly in my eyes.

‘I dreamt of her, after all this time. She has changed, grown into a woman, but it was her,’ I said, quietly to myself. Then, as tears flooded my face I burst into laughter, loud and joyous laughter. ‘She lives, she lives, she has returned to me!’ I shouted at the top of my voice.

‘Carthia, is all well? are you well?’ Tomas asked from outside the tent, concern filling his voice.

Slowly I calmed myself, ceased my laughing, and tried to gain control over my emotions. But inside I wanted to bellow from the rooftops with my happiness. I would not of course, this was mine and mine alone. My own private world that had been absent for so very long.

‘Be at ease, Tomas. All is well. I am well. A dream is all, a dream to warm my heart and bring laughter. I am sorry to have alarmed you so.’

Tomas mumble something to himself that I did not catch, and began to walk away, but before he had taken a dozen steps, I had torn open the tent flap and stepped out into the early morning sunshine.

I ran to Tomas and hugged him, and to his bewildered face I said, ‘She lives… she has returned, and all will now be well with the world.’

Tomas smiled, his eyes filled with bafflement, but before he could ask what I talked of, I had kissed him on the cheek and walked away down to the river’s edge where I knew I would find Kane, deep in conversation with the old man.

Do not call him old, Kane had lectured us all, I reminded myself. But I knew that even the dour old man could not dampen my spirits this day.

I had wanted to tell Kane all of my life on that so wonderful morning, but it was not to be - News reached us of a Nargu attack on a town south of us, and for a wonder the town folk were holding out against the large number of Nargu besieging their settlement. And so we rode hard, and arrived before the Nargu could breach the town’s walls. But still many townsfolk had been killed or sorely injured before we drove off the Nargu, and it was well into the next day before the injured were cared for and the dead buried.

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And so it was days later when I finally found myself sat opposite Kane, looking into his face, and marveling at how he had not changed, not aged, from the man, David, he had been when we sent him back, to the man he was now after countless lifetimes had passed. I am almost at my thirtieth name day, I thought, and Anna found me almost a decade ago, when I was little more than a child, and I have changed.

And Kane knows that I have changed even more these last few days. Though he does not know why, and will not ask.

Given how I smile and laugh all the time now, I suppose that it was obvious to anyone that knew me that something momentous has changed in my life.

I was not unhappy or miserable before; hard perhaps one would have described me, but never miserable. But now I am complete again, and so I laugh more and smile all the time. She lived, and that is all there is to it.

Kane would not ask of course. I knew that he would wait for me to tell him. That was his way, he would not pry or push, he would patiently wait until I was ready to speak.

And yet I am bursting with it; I want to shout it to the stars.

But who would understand, who would believe what I told? Would he even?

Kane knows some of my past, but he never asked to know more; he just accepts me, and so I have told him very little of my life before, and nothing at all of my dreams. But it is different now, I tell myself. I am different now. I am whole again.

Kane rose, smiled at me and walked away to the others, leaving me alone with the crackling fire and the surrounding darkness.

Being alone was a comfort in a way, I can smile and enjoy my happiness without the guilt I feel when surrounded by the others.

After all, what right did I have to be so happy when our loses were so great. But I could not help myself.

If Dar'cen himself stood before me, I knew that I would laugh in his face, not with scorn or hatred but with the joy I feel in my whole being.

But I cannot keep it to myself any longer. I know that now. Kane will be happy for me, even if he does not understand, even if he does not believe.

And I know that he will not ridicule or laugh, he will accept what I tell him and be happy for me.

I smiled yet again, and then spoke aloud to myself, ‘I will tell you tomorrow, my dear friend.’

And then I lay back, pulled my blanket over myself, and closed my eyes to await sleep and the joy my dreams would bring.