Ellas - Two years ago

Kane

And so we talked, of lighter, trivial things, as we once again became familiar with each other.

But it had been a long day, so slowly all but Jain and I drifted away from the fire, back to the tents where the others slept.

We sat looking at each other in silence for a time, almost as if we were complete strangers, not the re-united friends that I wished us to be.

Finally, Jain spoke.

‘Al’Kar? Hard to even consider let alone believe. You hardly look a day older, Kane. Oh, you have changed. But that change is in you… your speech, your bearing, and the so very obvious years of life that lie behind those eyes of yours… so perhaps not so very hard to believe after all.’

I laughed, not forced and yet not an honest laugh either; more an exclamation of my own disbelief.

‘I find it hard to believe myself, Jain. Sometimes I feel as though each separate section of my life are the lives of another, and I but dreamt of them. Unfortunately they are dreams that did not fade upon waking… more nightmares that never fade.’

‘Now, now, Kane. Not all can have been nightmare… you defeated Dar’cen and, for a while at least, peace reigned… and you are here reunited with your old friends.’

Jain’s smile and his optimistic view of life brought a smile to my lips and almost a tear to my eyes.

‘By the gods, I have missed you, old man,’ I said, my voice almost choking and betraying the extent of the emotion I felt.

‘Old man?’ Jain replied, in mock indignation. ‘I’ll give you, old man. I am but a child in comparison to you. Once I was older than the Kane I knew, or even the David that he turned out to be… but now you, the one that stands before me, the Al’Kar that was… you are the old man.’

What he said was true, but I could not let him win the day. ‘But a moment ago you said that I did not look a day older. You cannot have it both ways… old man,’ I said with a laugh, this time an honest laugh, merriment at the banter we once more exchanged.

‘But as I said, you have changed,’ he said, as he tapped his temple with a finger. ‘In here. Inside, you are different. You are a man with years, centuries to your life… an old man. A very, very old man.’ By the finish he was almost howling with laughter.

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I laughed, too. Not because what he said was funny – what he said was all too true, horrifically true – no, I laughed because Jain made me; seeing him laugh so brought a joy that I had thought lost to me for all time. His love of life was infectious.

As his laughter finally subsided, with tears flowing down his face, he said, ‘Strange really, and so very unfair… there you are an old man trapped in the body of a young man, an immortal young man at that, and I, the very epitome of youth, am trapped in this old carcass of a body.

'Yes. Very, very unfair. Unjust even.’

‘Jain, never have I heard you bemoan your age before. Besides surely you are not that old,’ I said gently. His suddenly serious tone had taken me aback.

‘Take no notice of me, Kane. Sometimes, on a rare occasion, I brood over what has become of me… Ignore me. Let us talk of other matters.’

‘I do not understand, Jain. Surely age comes to all of us.’ Jain’s piercing look made me sheepishly add, ‘Well almost all of us… And for all—’

‘You do not know, do you? You do not understand?’ he interrupted.

I looked at him blankly for a moment, not understanding what it was I did not know.

‘This body you see before you, this Jain the old man, did not come upon me slowly and insidiously, as does old age for most. I am strong in magic, very strong for one of my day… and magic keeps you young. Did you know that much, Kane?’

I did. Anna had said as much, but had she not, I would have guessed anyway having seen how very little she aged in the centuries of our companionship. ‘Yes,’ I answered, quietly.

‘But did you know that when finally age catches up to one strong in magic, it is not the slow and gradual process of an non-magical life. Oh no, it is not. It is a thing that happens almost overnight.

'Ten years ago, I was as you are now… or at least my body looked as young as you. And then it began – a grey hair here, a wrinkle there, an ache in the knees and a stiffness in my bones when I awoke. And then, in what seemed no time at all, I was the old man that I am now.

'The stronger the magic is in one, the more sudden and more aggressive is the change in appearance from youth to that of old age.

'Poor Setia was stronger than I, far stronger… her change to what she was when we met, must have come upon her quickly indeed.’

He was quiet a long moment. I did not know what to say – this was not the Jain I knew speaking, not the Jain of old, not the Jain of but a few moments ago.

‘Bah,’ he said, suddenly, a gleam back in his eyes. ‘Gone now. See, I told you that it is only rarely that I brood over it. The melancholy has gone now… I have years ahead of me still, decades even… For you see, we with magic might age suddenly, but that does not mean that we pass quickly. No, I have years yet to torment you.’

I smiled, for back was my Jain. As suddenly as it had come, his melancholy mood had lifted. Before me now was the man I had often wished to strangle, and yet loved with all my heart. I vowed then to never again call him old.

Almost as if in answer to my thoughts, Jain said, ‘My age is my own concern. Do not again refer to me as old, for if you do I will turn my magic upon you and transform you into a goat… an old goat.’

Again he laughed, the infectious laugh of the Jain I knew.

‘Have you any wine in this god forsaken camp of yours?’ he asked. ‘Today has been long an weary, and I’m sure that we both could do with a drink.’