"Why hello there, Alex, aren’t you going to introduce me to your new friend?” said the guy who had just strolled up to us and plonked himself down next to Alex. A big silly grin split his face, and his eyes had the glassy shine of one well on his way to oblivion.
Alex’s face, her tone and her words showed her obvious annoyance at the interruption as she said, “Piss off Jamie, this is an adults conversation. Therefore one where you don’t have the wit to contribute, and furthermore one where you are not invited to join in. Go away!”
I was a little taken aback by both her words and the extremely harsh tone, but Jamie was obviously used to being abused by Alex in this way, because his smile grew even wider as he put his arm around Alex’s shoulder. “Anyone else who spoke to me that way would be on their arse already, woman or not. But not you, Alex. I know you really love me, and that it's just your way of trying to hide your feelings for me.”
To me he said, “I’m Jamie. A very good friend of Alex’s, as you can see. Given that you both seem to be getting on so well closeted here together, I assume that you too must be a very good friend of Alex’s,” and he thrust out his hand for me to shake.
As I took his hand, it tightened into what I termed a firm handshake, not a wet fish, not a bone crusher, just a genuine handshake. His smile, impossibly, somehow grew even wider as I gave him my name and then stated how marvellous it was to finally meet a good friend of Alex’s.
Alex, however, was not impressed with his company in the least. “Jamie, take a hint… go away and play with the other drunks!”
I had to give this guy his due, she didn’t phase him one bit. He quickly leaned towards her, kissed her on the cheek, and then pulled away sharply before the slap that Alex threw could make contact. “Love you,” he said to her, and grinning at me, he said, “Nice to meet you, Dave. Maybe catch you later. For now, I’ll just leave you two lovebirds in peace.” With that, he stood and walked away towards the bar.
“What the bloody hell are you grinning at?” Alex asked, red faced and obviously embarrassed.
“Sorry, I didn’t know that I was grinning, but I suppose I did find that somewhat amusing; I’d forgotten what drink does to people. That said, despite the fact that he was obviously well on his way, I think I liked him. Liked his I don’t give a shit what any of you think attitude.”
“That wasn’t drink talking, that was Jamie. That’s how he always is. That’s what bloody infuriates me about him. He’s always the joker, always has to mess about. If there’s ever a practical joke being played, you can bet your life Jamie’s got a hand in it. He can never be serious about anything, he’s forever acting the goat. In work, his fooling around gets him in trouble all the time. That, and his flippant attitude, have put the kibosh on his promotion for years. When he’s out, trouble always seems to find him. He never starts it of course, and I mean that, he really doesn’t.
"People just don’t like his loud, brash attitude; it gets their backs up. And men really resent that the ladies love him to bits. It almost always ends up with some bloke taking a swing at him, and more often than not it's more than one. I warned him earlier to take it easy tonight, not to antagonise anyone. And what’s his response? He just plays the little innocent, and promises to be on his best behaviour. But I bet you any money that there’ll be trouble again tonight, and Jamie will be at the centre of it.”
“Do you want me to keep an eye on him, give him a hand if trouble starts?” I offered.
“No need, Jamie doesn’t need any help,” Alex replied. “He’ll try really hard to talk his way out of whatever comes, and end it peacefully if he can. But when the punches start, somehow he always seems to finish it and come out on top. Most of the time that is.”
“I know someone just like that, almost always ends with some poor bloke getting a good thrashing. Or at least, I did know someone like that back on Ellas.” I trailed off then, thinking about how they were all dead. Alex didn’t know that of course, I had not told her what Carthia had ordered at the end.
“Who was that then?” she asked. “Let me guess… Garam or Step? Surely not Jain, you said he was really old, and a scholar to boot.”
“Neither of them. If they got into a brawl it was usually of their own making. No, it was Tarnia. She, like your Jamie, seemed to always attract the wrong sort. After a drink she was almost as bawdy as the men she mixed with, and believe me she mixed with some really rough characters. Anyway, eventually one of them would get a little too familiar with her, and then, unless Jain was there to calm the waters, the fights would start. And, like your Jamie, Tarnia would finish whatever she started. I’d back her against a room full of men twice her size. You know despite all the trouble she brought down on us, I could not help but like her, love her even… in a brotherly way of course. From what you’ve said, and the little I’ve seen of your friend Jamie, he reminds me a lot of Tarnia… almost self destructive but with, what I consider, a great sense of humour. Yes, I quite like your friend Jamie.”
“Well you might like him but he makes me bloody furious. He is probably one of the brightest, most intelligent people I know. He could do anything he wanted to. He could really go far in this company, in any company for that matter, if only he applied himself and stopped being such an ass, and was serious for five minutes.”
Even from where I sat I could tell that she was grinding her teeth as she spoke.
“So you really do like him, then?” I heard myself say. Big, big mistake. Alex blushed all the way to her ears. That and the tongue lashing she gave me, left me with no doubt whatsoever that I was right. She really did like this guy, Jamie. That said, coward that I am, I still apologised profusely over and over until her blushes eventually receded and we were able to return to our pre-Jamie conversation about her book, and the stories that she and her sister had written.
We were out with Alex’s project team, a celebratory drink for achieving a milestone in their delivery.
Alex hated these socialising events, but as she managed the project, she had no choice but to turn up. She’d asked me along only last night, said that she wanted to talk to me about her book, didn’t want to put it off any longer.
But the book was a bribe really, one she knew I could not refuse. I was sure that the real reason behind my invite was that, despite the crowd, she felt lonely in these events where everyone was merrymaking, getting drunk and socialising.
Alex didn’t mingle, she didn’t mix, she plain just didn’t get on with people. At work she got on with the job, outside work she just floundered, and my being here just made her feel a little more comfortable in what was a situation she hated.
It was sad, but then, I was glad of her company too. Since my return, I hated crowds like this, and if not for Alex I too would be alone in this room full of people. I used to love nights out like this – too much drink and partying into the late hours – but since my return I was just like Alex – a loner.
I knew some of the people here to talk to, others by sight, but I didn’t mix well at all now. I didn’t feel at home here, not in this room with these people, not in this world if I was honest.
I had seen too much, done too much that was way outside the imaginings of everyone around me, even Alex. Yet I was glad of her company, glad of our growing friendship.
“There’s lots of different stories in the book really,” she said. “All related of course, linked together by the world itself, and our characters, Carthia for Sarah and Alex for me. I never bothered to make up a name for my heroine; as far as I was concerned I was the one in the stories. There were others too, of course… the demon that we battled against was a constant theme, he and his minions; and there were magicians, soldiers, kings and so on. We didn’t have elves or faeries or such like, we made up our own magical creatures, but they only existed in a few short stores that we wrote occasionally. Mostly the races were human.”
I wanted to interrupt her, tell her that it would be so much easier if she just let me read the book. But I knew what the answer would be. Not perhaps as comical as the first refusal she had given, but a refusal nonetheless. She still blushed now if I asked again, the memory of that “Not on a first date” quip still fresh in her mind.
Strange really, she thought nothing of telling someone exactly what she thought of them, and yet was extremely embarrassed by such a simple throwaway line.
The last time I’d asked, she had said, “Later maybe. Let me get to know better first.” And so I’d resolved to wait until she decided it was time, until she made the offer. And besides, the look on her face now as she spoke gave an inkling to the turmoil she was going through as she finally shared their stories.
No one else had ever read or been told their stories, not even their mother. So Alex obviously had really mixed up feelings over telling me. One minute she seemed really excited about what she said, couldn’t get the words out quickly enough, and the next she seemed to almost begrudge letting out the next word.
I guessed that, on one level, she must feel a type of betrayal of her sister by sharing what had until now belonged only to them. I knew that I should feel honoured that she trusted me enough to tell me as much as she did, but it was still frustrating.
I felt that answers somehow waited in her book, and that I could find them if only I was allowed to get my hands on it. But I didn’t ask, I kept my frustration in check and listened to every word she said, trying really hard to find a connection, any connection at all that linked her stories to the world that I had spent so very long trying to escape.
“So how did you come to start writing the book?” I asked in one of Alex’s reticent moments, in an attempt to get the story moving again.
“It was Sarah who started it all off,” she answered. “We were about thirteen at the time, thereabouts anyway. She woke up one morning and said that she’d had the most fantastic dream about a magical world that was every bit as good as those in the fantasy books we’d read. She had been grown up in her dream, people called her Carthia, and she was a great warrior with magical powers. She didn’t have a sister in her first dream, but once we decided to write stories about her dreams, we made up the sister so that I could play a part too. Funnily, in the later dreams, she did have a sister, her name was Alexandria but we kept it to Alex in the stories because I really hate my full name.”
Alex stared at me then, daring me to comment. I suppressed a grin and just said, “I like both, to be honest. Alex suits you more, but I do like the name Alexandria, too.” And despite the suppressed grin, I really meant it; Alexandria was a nice name and, funnily enough, it too really suited her, but I didn’t tell her that.
She looked at me for a few second, watching for a smirk or some indication of sarcasm before she continued. “We decided that day, after she told me of the dream, that we would write about her dream. The whole book thing came later as the dreams continued and we got hooked on writing. It wasn’t really meant to be about Sarah’s dream, we just thought it would be good to write our own fantasy story.
"Sarah’s first dream was the seed though, we used her character Carthia and what she could remember, as a starting point for our first story. We didn’t know then that she would have other dreams, and that some of them would be so much more detailed than the first. She didn’t remember a great deal about that first dream, you see. She remembered who she had been, and that she was in a world filled with magic, with good and evil… you know, all the elements of a good magical fantasy, but she didn’t remember a great deal more than that really, and so our first few stories came mainly from our imaginations.
"It was later, months later, before she had her next dream, and weeks passed again until the next came. But after the first she gradually began to remember more of what happened in the dreams, and so we started to use the dreams as the focus for our stories. We still made up a great deal, sometimes to embellish her dreams or fill in the gaps where she couldn’t remember; sometimes we made up whole chapters and scenes just for the fun of it.
Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.
"Using words like chapters and scenes doesn’t really fit with what we wrote; it is really just a bunch of stories sort of loosely related by the characters and the place. We tried to join it up where we could as we got older, even went back to some of the earlier stories and tried to fit them into the more coherent parts written from Sarah’s dreams. But don’t forget we didn’t know a thing about writing, other than wanting to write something as exciting as some of the books that we had read. Hell, we were just kids!”
“No need to apologise for what you did, Alex. Not many teenagers could do what you two did. I wish I had had the ability and the passion to write a book, or to write anything at all really. At school my English grades were piss poor, and my handwriting was appalling, still is now unless I concentrate. I really love the idea that you both did this, and that you have the book to remember Sarah by.” I knew immediately the words were out, that I should not have said that. I was almost a stranger to her, and she was sharing her most treasured possession with me. I had overstepped the mark, I did not have the right to make such personal observations about how she must feel for the sister she had lost.
“I’m sorry, Alex, I shouldn’t have said that, it was presumptuous of me. I really didn’t mean to offend you in any way,” I said.
Silence. Alex just looked at me, stared really. I didn’t look away, but I didn’t return her stare either, I just waited.
“Thank you,” she said finally. “It means a great deal to me that you understand about the book. That it’s not just a bunch of stories to me, that it really is my link to Sarah.” Her eyes glistened with tears, and one slowly made its way down her cheek.
I reached out and gently wiped the tear away, held my hand on the side of her face, not knowing what else to do, what else to say. Alex smiled and opened her mouth to speak.
A crash and the sound of glasses breaking broke the moment, startling both of us. I really, really need to be more aware of my surroundings I thought. I was so easily being sucked into this world, becoming complacent, letting my guard drop. I was on my feet staring across the room, senses fully alert, albeit far too late had there been any real threat to either of us.
Alex just sat and muttered to herself, “Bloody Jamie! Any money he’s in the middle of it, whatever it is.”
And she was not wrong. Over by the bar Jamie wrestled with two men who held him by an arm each, while another was picking himself up off the glass covered floor. I could only presume that it was Jamie who had put him there. As I watched two other lads stepped up to the two men holding Jamie, obviously trying to calm Jamie and get the men to leave him go.
One was pushed flying by one of those holding Jamie, and the other was grabbed around the throat by the one who had picked himself up off the floor. They were big guys, all well built and muscular, all in good shape, body builders by the look of them.
As I stepped away from the table, Alex said just one word, “No!” But it was said forcefully enough to stop me in my tracks. “Leave him to it, he’s got to learn sometime, and besides the bouncers will break it up soon enough. He won’t get hurt too badly, you’ll see.”
“Christ, your a hard woman, Alex. I can see that you like the guy, have feelings for him even, and yet you’re prepared to let him take a beating just to learn a lesson,” I said.
She was right though, at least about the bouncers. Four of them had just converged on the disturbance and more were pushing their way through the crowd. Within minutes everyone involved, even those who had tried to calm the situation, were being manhandled across the room to the exit. And all of them being ejected from the club was where Alex’s last remark fell down.
Once they were all outside and away from the bouncers, it would all start up again, and then there’d be nobody to break it up; someone was sure to get hurt and quite possibly badly hurt, given the threats the body builders were screaming at Jamie as they were pushed through the door.
“Alex, you were right about the bouncers and maybe about the lesson.”
Though I doubted it. In my experience people like Jamie learned when they were good and ready, not by being told or pushed, and certainly not from a beating. Jamie really was like Tarnia, same Don’t give a shit attitude; it was all there in what Alex had said about him, and it had been there, written plain on his face, when the two men held him – no fear, not a care for his own wellbeing, just anger and a Come on, let's get on with it look.
“But once they’re all outside it will start up all over again, and the bouncers won’t do a thing to stop it then. So I’m sorry, but I’m going outside too; I’ll make sure no one gets hurt if I can… You stay here with your team. If I can settle it and get back in I will, but otherwise I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She shook her head from side to side as she said, “He’ll never learn. Never. But you’re right, of course. I’ll come out with you, perhaps a woman being there will help to calm things down a little.”
“No, Alex, it won’t. The look on those guys faces, and the anger in their voices said it all. They want to teach Jamie a lesson, and not the kind of lesson you had in mind. He floored one of them, so he at least, is not going to be in a forgiving mood, woman present or not. Besides, you need to be in here with your team, making sure there’s no more trouble, and stopping any one else from going outside to help.”
“You’re right again, I suppose, but be careful yourself. I know all that you’ve told me, and I do believe you. But you’re not exactly a big guy, are you? And they were at least three of them, and all of them very big guys.”
“I’ll be fine, but thanks for the concern. Hopefully I’ll see you later and we can carry on from where we left off… if either of us can remember where we were when we were interrupted that is.”
I turned and walked to the door. I knew exactly where we were when the crash came – I had just wiped a tear from Alex’s face, and we were both looking at each other. Her eyes had a questioning look, and I was wondering what the hell I was doing. She was truly a beautiful woman. She didn’t think so herself though, and in this modern, fashion conscious world, her looks didn’t stand out, at least not unless you really looked at her, spent time with her. Carthia was a beauty, a spitting image of Alex, except perhaps for the hair – Alex’s was shoulder length whereas Carthia’s was down to her waist. But Carthia seemed hard somehow, not just because of what she had done at the end, more than that, her whole bearing was that of someone that had fought hard all their life, had had a hard upbringing.
Either way, that brief contact had set me thinking. If not for the interruption, what would have happened next? I had not been near a woman, not in any physical way, nor romantically, since I was taken. With Maggie it had been strained, we had never resumed our relationship, not on any level really.
Oh, I loved her, still did now, or at least I cared deeply for her, but we never jelled at all in those few months that we were back together. We embraced, a kiss on the cheek, and tears, lots and lots of tears, but there was always something there between us, stopping both of us from letting go, and going back to what we had been.
I reached the door, amazed at how much could go through my mind in such a short time.
Maggie and I were long gone and, thanks to good old Jamie, an opportunity for something more than just a friendship with Alex had passed me by.
But then, I was more than happy to have Alex as just a friend. We were getting there slowly, a bond was forming between us, a mutual trust. I liked her, I liked her a lot.
The bouncers had escorted the whole lot of them out into the courtyard in front of the doors. In the day, cars were allowed to park in the courtyard, but in the evenings queues formed there as people waited to be allowed into the club.
Now it was mainly empty – a few passers by, Jamie and his two mates, the three he’d been brawling with, and two others that had followed them out.
Five bouncers stood flanking the doors as I eased through. Notionally they were there to stop anyone getting back in, but they looked as if they themselves were itching for a punch up; the slightest of excuses and they would be in there too.
The two sets of protagonists were just bickering for now, harsh words, threats and really bad language flying back and forth between them.
But it wouldn’t last. Jamie’s lot seemed to be outnumbered and outmatched, three of them to the five body builder types. The only thing that kept the body builders at bay for the moment was the bouncers stood menacingly at the doors. As soon as they moved away it would start up again, and Jamie wouldn’t be the only one getting a lesson; his poor mates looked terrified.
So, what to do now? How to get Jamie and his mates safely away without hurting any of the other lot, or the bouncers for that matter.
Planning had never been my strong suit, I always spent far too much time over thinking things. Sometimes it was best to just get on with whatever you had to do; at least that’s what my father always used to say. Don’t waste too much time thinking about it son, get on with it or you might find that you’re too late, and have missed the moment. I could hear his voice still as I thought the words.
I strolled through the middle of the body builders with a polite, “Excuse me, Guys.” No rough stuff, no barging, but with just enough confidence to set them thinking.
I walked straight up to good old Jamie, right into his personal space. “We need to go Jamie… you and your mates need to get away from here before it starts up again.” I knew my words were a waste of time really, but I had to try.
“Davie boy! Come to give us a hand?” Jamie said, with a wide grin on his face.
It was obvious that he was not phased at all by what was going on, not afraid in the least. I couldn’t say the same for his mates though, they looked scared shitless. Poor buggers had only tried to stop the fight inside, stop Jamie taking a beating; they hadn’t signed up for this.
Turning to them, I asked, “Do you guys know where Jamie lives?”
They looked at me, faces blank, not really understanding what I was asking, and if they did, confused at why I would ask such a mundane question at a time like this.
The noise from the big lads behind me was getting a little more aggressive, a little louder, coming to a head. They would make their move soon, I guessed, bouncers or no bouncers.
“His address, do you know where Jamie lives? Nod your bloody heads if you do,” I said aggressively, as Jamie mouthed off back at the body builders, and included some choice comments for the bouncers too.
At last, both nodded, confusions still written across their faces.
“Right,” I said, “The three of you are coming with me, we’re all going to get a taxi to your place, Jamie.”
Jamie turned to me. “You what?” was all he managed to get out before my fist caught him just below his rib cage, knocking all the wind out of him. Then, as he doubled over, I hit him across the back of the neck, caught him before he fell, and slung him over my shoulder. All before anyone could react.
To his mates, I said, “Lead the way,” and turning to the big guys, I said, in a voice loud enough for the bouncers to hear, “Your argument with Jamie is over, boys. As you can see, he’s in no fit state to fight with any of you now. So we’re going to leave you in peace. Enjoy the rest of your night.” I,
turned to Jamie’s mates. “Taxi rank now! Before it kicks off again.” The bouncers were all laughing, and after a few steps, I could hear the body builders joining in.
Shouts and jeers followed us, but it was worth a little humiliation to not have to hurt those guys – they were all big lads, and I couldn’t have been gentle with them.
Jamie was fine by the time we got him into a taxi, a little dizzy and feeling sick, but that’s what too much drink and a few knocks will do to a man.
He moaned a lot, called me rotten for hitting him, and for stopping him from knocking shit out of the other guys. But he quietened down after we dropped his mates off. Bravado and show came to mind, but he surprised me as we got to his place by inviting me in for a drink. The surprise was not really the invite, but more that he now sounded completely sober, and that all wit and sarcasm was gone from his voice. He was almost a different person from the guy I’d met less than an hour ago.
We both sat at his kitchen table with a coffee. I had declined a real drink, as Jamie put it, and he’d then admitted that he’d probably had enough too.
Almost his first words after offering the drink were, “So what’s with you and Alex, then? Is it serious between you two?”
I laughed, and told him that we were just friends, and that it would never be anything more than that.
Turns out Jamie had it really bad for Alex. He was someone who had really looked at her, taken off the fashion conscious glasses, and seen her for the person she really was.
He absolutely loved the hard exterior she showed the world, loved the way she spoke to him, and loved how she always put him down, because, he said, that that was the only way he could get her to talk to him at all.
He’d tried serious on Alex years ago when he first met her, and she’d just laughed in his face. He far preferred the way she was now to that laughter, the laughter really hurt, he said.
He said that he’d pretty much always acted the fool, and admitted that it was his defence mechanism, his way of coping with his lack of confidence.
Strange, I barely knew Jamie and yet he was confessing his innermost secrets.
He wanted so very much to be serious around Alex, so wanted to tell her how he felt, but as soon as he got within twenty feet of her, in the same room as her even, the memory of that scornful laughter brought out the fool in him, took him over completely. He just couldn’t seem to help himself.
So he does give a shit I thought, if only about this one thing.
I wasn’t really sure what to say to him, I was not cut out for the matchmaking game, and besides, what right did I have to tell him that perhaps, just perhaps, Alex liked him too, and would, if he changed his act and took life a little more seriously, warm to him a little.
But, from a purely selfish perspective, I needed Alex all to myself at the moment. I had to know what was in that book, learn more about Alex, and her sister, and try to fathom out what the hell was going on – what the link between her and my life was.
So I kept silent about the feelings I suspected Alex had for him, though I did reiterated that there was nothing between us, and that I was not in his way.
I did relent a little, and told him that she just might take him more seriously if he stopped acting the fool around her, and maybe drunk a little less.
But as he said, it was being around Alex that brought out the worst of him in the first place. It was a difficult one, and I did feel sorry for him. He was a nice guy – a good guy, I believed.