“What’s a foot for a ball got to do with this?” was the start to a long conversation Noa had with Armael to convince his mentor that they could essentially achieve the same outcome behind the safety of a sports game. This fortunately led to a very long climb back down the mountain, sharing a basket with Tin, who had subsequently stolen Noa’s book on ogres, and the rest of his aether stones━mostly to level up and heal the trolls on the way down.

Noa envied the boy’s concerning lack of a fear for heights during this activity.

At some point, Noa was waking up to Mama Troll’s oddly gentle nudges, not exactly sure when he fell asleep. He looked up at her Burgundy face, striking orange eyes beckoning him out of the basket. “You’re like a baby.”

“I... am too damn tired to respond to that,” Noa grumbled, grasping at the edge of the basket to help him get up.

Oh, look at that, Briag was right there. They were just at the edge of town, green... well semi-green grass there to greet them from the barren rocky wastelands that were the mountains, far as Noa knew them.

Caradec, along with Captain Obvious, were discussing something with Chief and Armael a little ways off. Mama Troll moved to join them with her bulging naked belly, leaving Noa alone. He was more impressed with the fact that the evolved trolls even bothered to cover their privates up. Maybe human society was finally getting to them, though a part of him considered that the sudden propriety could have something to do with the church mentioning it to them.

Climbing from his basket, Noa made his way over to Caradec and Armael, the latter of which was busy arguing with Captain Obvious. Caradec, however, turned to Noa, and gave a charming smile.

Oh, you are so up to something, Noa narrowed his eyes. That smile didn’t come without something attached!

“Ardent Noa, walk with me,” Caradec said, waving a hand for Noa to follow down the street, away from the argument and crowd of trolls.

With a heavy sigh, Noa followed. “What is it?”

“Your idea about using sports to push trolls to their limit is a good one,” Caradec started.

“Thanks,” Noa said, looking up as the sky dimmed. About time this day was ending.

“I would ask a favor of you.” Noa looked at the high prelate, who briefly paused to look directly into his eyes. “Spare your Elorn Blessed item for now by lending it to Tin to complete Troll evolution, if you will? I would rather have you start as a [Comforter] against the rise of the ogre threat.”

Raising an eyebrow, Noa pulled a hand up to the lock, rubbing it between his fingers thoughtfully. The last time he lost this thing, he almost didn’t get it back. It had a great deal of importance thus far, and well, in a way was the center of his very tale from the moment he arrived in this world.

“I would need a strong promise that I’ll get it back,” he said.

“I will stake it on my calling in the church. If it does not make it back to your hands, notwithstanding unforeseen circumstances, I will resign as high prelate.” Caradec placed a hand on his chest, raising the other.

“You can do that?”

“High prelate is not an ordination, but a calling granted to me that I can resign from at any time. Just prelate, on the other hand, is an ordination.”

Pursing his lips, Noa slowly removed the lock from around his neck, then offered it to the elven man. “I suppose I can part from it until the trolls are evolved.”

“Thank you,” Caradec said, pushing Noa’s hand back. “Deliver it personally to young Ardent Tin. You will, after all, have to take the time to teach the trolls this game of foot of ball.”

Noa chuckled. “Football,” he corrected.

“Of course,” Caradec smiled. “Now, concerning your ordinations, Ardent. I believe it is high time we looked into your ascension from ardent to minister.”

“How do I do that?”

“Normally an ardent can become a minister when two things happen. One, they’ve actively introduced the church to unattending individuals, which...” the high prelate turned, looking back towards the trolls, nodded. “Is not a problem you will have. The second is to complete at least one base class, which I’m sure your journey did?”

Noa nodded. “Does being a minister come with more responsibilities?”

“If there were any clerics here, then you would typically serve under one of them during your time at church. Instead, you’ll continue to serve under Priest Armael. Unless given a calling, your primary task will be to serve the community━another problem you also don’t have, seeing as you’ve done more than your fair share, Ardent.”

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

“Great, how do I get ordained now?”

“I anoint you a minister of Elorn’s Esteemed Church. By his name will you do his work. May Elorn bless you, Minister Noa Kai,” Caradec said, briefly placing a thumb between Noa’s eyes.

Seriously? Isn’t that how I became an ardent too? “That’s it?”

“What were you expecting?”

“I don’t know, symbolic cleansing of the soul, or something?”

“Should the three churches reunite, then such rituals would likely take place. For now, it just gets inked into a parchment,” Caradec said.

They were united once? Nah, nope, not about to go down that rabbit hole! “Great.”

“Now, there is a field south of Lila’s manor. Take the trolls there, and explain to them how this game of yours will push them to their limits. Should this be a success, Minister Noa,” Caradec turned all the way, placing a hand on Noa’s shoulder, “you will have revolutionized troll evolution forever.”

“And if it doesn’t work?”

“Fight more lions,” Caradec shrugged, his hand slipping from Noa’s shoulder.

“Great, no pressure, none at all,” Noa huffed, turning and starting back towards the trolls. “Are we doing this now?”

“They’ve already pushed themselves. Now, while their energy is low, may produce the best outcome,” Caradec said.

No one is going to sleep tonight... Noa pursed his lips.

About an hour later, Noa stood at the edge of a makeshift football field. The measurements were... modified, considered the size of trolls. They used the entire expanse from the manor walls to the forest’s edge.

He’d already handed the amulet to Tin, who clutched the thing tight, though it hung from his neck.

“Why football?” Tin asked.

Noa, arms crossed, continued to watch trolls bash into each other over a rock. A boulder, really. They apparently didn’t need a real football, sheer trollish strength making the rock look just as bouncy as a regular ball.

“Where I’m from, it was a sport that could really test your mettle,” Noa replied.

“No, not that. Why is it called football?”

“Because, sometimes they’ll kick the ball into goal posts we don’t have. I guess.”

“Sometimes?” Tin looked up at Noa quizzically. “Why not handsball, or throwball, or, or... tackleball! That would be far more fitting!”

“Because none of those sound as good as ‘football’, I don’t know!” Noa threw his hands up. “History, maybe? We’re gonna call it football.”

“Your logic doesn’t logic,” Tin raised an eyebrow, then made a face when one massive troll crushed a quarterback, followed by a second, then a third. Great, now they invented dogpiles, all on their own. “Should we...?”

“Nope,” Noa said. “I’m not even going to touch them with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole.”

“Why! Why would you have a pole made up of thirty-nine and a half feet!” Tin questioned, dragging his hands down his face.

Noa face palmed. “What measuring system do you guys use?” he huffed.

“The metric one.”

Lowering his hand a bit, he stared down at Tin. “Metric?” he asked. “Like, centimeters?”

“Centimeters? How do you not know the metric system? Lesser paces, common paces, greater, master, and deific. Like spirits.”

“Yeah, I got that part,” Noa said. “Do you really refer to them with such long names?”

“No, not really,” Tin shrugged.

“What do you use then?”

“Hold up, gotta heal,” Tin said, clutching an aether stone in his hand.

Noa looked back at the field, cringing at the sight. Trolls were... not nice to each other, one of them having an ankle at an awkward angle. Just as the ankle was righted, the troll began to glow, his size shrinking until he sat in a pile of his own furs. With no propriety, the troll hopped up, cheering and streaking through the field, the bigger trolls chasing after him in a parade of triumph.

“I’m never going to get used to that,” Noa said, shaking his head. “Are Lila’s curtains closed.”

“No,” Tin snickered.

Noa looked up at the manor, unable to help the amused snort come from his face as he saw a feminine figure overlooking the south from her balcony. Even from this distance, Noa could see Eliaz coming up beside her, and raising a hand to block his wife’s view.

“Don’t you have someplace to be?” Tin asked.

“Yeah. My bed,” Noa said.

“You suck,” Tin huffed, crossing his arms.

“The trolls might carry you home once you’re done.”

“That’s not so bad, I guess.”

I can’t believe you prefer the manhandling, Noa thought.

“You face ogres tomorrow, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“I hope you evolve them before I level up to [Comforter]. They sound scary.”

“Yeah,” Noa nodded, scratching his head.

System, you said [Comforter] was available. Do I just... get it? Noa asked.

System Class [Comforter] may be acquired.

How?

Nothing. Stupid System. Ah, well, crap to figure out tomorrow.

Noa turned, starting down the hill towards his farm in the distance, a part of him eager to catch up with Finbar to see how the farm was running.

After a long walk, he paused, furrowing his brow as he grew closer to the farm. Why... were there so many tents outside the farmhouse?