Why couldn’t it be lemons? Noa stared up at the building that was both She-monstrosity’s home and his prison. Kind of. Felt more dramatic to put it that way. It certainly was a rendition of hell, if anyone asked him, assuming hell had apples. Hell definitely has apples, he corrected.

“So... I guess you don’t need to purchase land for that guild anymore,” Eliaz noted.

“You are so glass half full right now,” Noa said.

“What does that mean?”

“Damned optimistic.”

“I don’t want to be damned when I’m optimistic,” Eliaz furrowed his brow, and Noa didn’t feel bothered to correct the elf.

“It comes with stipulations, Eliaz.”

“Produce apples and sell them. Yeah, making money. Terrible stipulations,” he said. “But it also comes with quite a bit more land. Yana never finished planting. Means you can build your guild, and then some. Hey, mind lending me land to build my clinic?”

“I want your clinic inside the guild.”

“Works for me.”

“But I still have to pay Lila land taxes,” Noa said, huffing. He’d much rather have bought the land off of Lila, then again, he probably could never have afforded it until the guild was up and running.

Fine, if I have to make stupid money by selling stupid apples, I might as well build my not-so-stupid healers guild here, he thought, starting around the building towards the apple orchard.

“I have to hire people to work the farm. I don’t have any money,” Noa said, looking over the orchard. Apples were strewn about, many of them starting to fall off. Whoever he was hiring, he needed to do so fast. He turned, starting to the other end of the house, a shed not too far off from the barn-like garage.

“Start picking apples, then?” Eliaz asked. “No other apple farms are selling right now, and the capital really wants their apples.”

Noa raised his brow. “Not a bad idea. Maybe I’ll increase the price of apples then,” he said, and pushed open the shed doors, a smile growing on his face at the sight. Boxes of apples, ready to go. Some of them had turned, but there were enough to do something with. “Think if I promised a union to the apple farmers on strike, I could poach some workers?” Is that bad ethics here? he wondered, then shook his head. If it was, then Captain WhatsHisFace wouldn’t have tried to bribe Noa away.

“I think the high prelate is going to rope you back into dealing with those strikes anyways.”

Noa groaned at that, running his hands down his face. “Damnit Jim, I’m a [Mender], not a union rep!” he whined.

“Who’s jim?”

“Remind me to invite you to story time when the trolls finally convince me to tell them Star Trek,” Noa said, entering the shed and crouching down. He placed his hands on a box and heaved. And again. Heave!

Eliaz snickered. “Want some help?”

“Get over here.”

Eliaz moved to the other side of the apple box, and together, they managed, stepping it out of the shed. “Where are we going with this?” he asked with the slightest grunt.

“Uuuuh, the barn,” Noa said, taking quick steps towards the front of it, then kicked open one of the sliding doors. It was empty. No cart. Right. That might still be out in the woods for all he knew. What happened to the horses attached to it?

“This is getting heavy, Noa,” Eliaz huffed.

Nodding with his head, Noa said, “That wheelbarrow,” and they moved to the wheelbarrow parked in front of the house. With shaking arms, they lowered the box awkwardly into the wheelbarrow, and Noa heaved out a breath from the release.

“You’re going to take apples to town one wheelbarrow at a time?” Eliaz raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe just the one to get started. While we’re down there, I’ll ask Priest Olwen what happened to Yana’s cart,” Noa said, picking up the handles of the wheelbarrow. The strain on his muscles weren’t nearly as much, but it was still heavy. How could apples be so miserable? They rot, they’re heavy, and they roll out of place right out of their boxes, much like one just did.

“I’m not taking over the wheelbarrow if you tire out,” Eliaz said.

“I thought Lila was still teaching you swordplay. Shouldn’t you have some extra muscle by now?” Noa asked.

“I already know a good amount of swordplay from my soldiering days, so we’ve slacked off, but maybe if I roped you back into lessons with her...” Eliaz smiled.

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

“Why are you happy about this?”

“No reason,” he shrugged.

“I feel like you’re up to something,” Noa narrowed his eyes, starting to wheel his way down the path from the house.

“My wife is always up to something. I merely help out. Well, and tell her everything you’re planning.”

Noa stopped, set the wheelbarrow down, and deadpanned Eliaz. “Which means she knew about my plans for a healers guild.”

Eliaz nodded.

“She intended for me to build it here, didn’t she?”

Another nod.

Noa ran both of his hands down his face this time. “Why are there so many plots happening around me?” he asked, then shook his head and picked the wheelbarrow back up to keep going. “I was going to have to sell heals to make money, but she gave me a pretty quick way of making money with apples, didn’t she? This was all plotted! What else has been plotted that I’ve fallen right into?”

“From Lila’s end, that’s mostly it. Sort of,” Eliaz said. “That’s all I should say, at least.”

“So there is more? What is it, Eliaz?”

“Nope, sorry Noa, I love my wife.”

“Come on, man.”

“All I can say is that everything she is working on supports what you’re doing,” Eliaz said.

“Oh, and I suppose my betrothal to her little sister is going to help me establish a healer’s guild?”

Eliaz pursed his lips, smiled, then nodded.

“Wonderful,” Noa muttered, narrowing his eyes as they crested the hill. Men in blue approached, swords on their hips.

Captain WhatsHisFace.

“Maybe we should turn around,” Noa frowned, Eliaz looking just as uneased by the soldiers’ approach.

“And go to a more secluded location?” Eliaz asked.

“Good point.”

“I doubt they'll do anything serious. Picking on a few healers is not going to look pretty for them.”

“Was this planned too?” Noa asked.

Eliaz sighed. “No, we're not [Oracles], and even then, telling the future is tricky business.”

As Captain WhatsHisFace drew near, Noa stiffened, the curt man towering over even Elvethor himself.

“You weren't present at the execution,” WhatsHisFace said.

“Captain Obvious?” Noa asked, raising a brow as he largely reconsidered the lousy man’s nickname.

Eliaz put a fist to his lips as his snicker conveniently turned into a cough. Smooth.

WhatsHisFace narrowed his eyes, hardly sparing Eliaz a glance. “The deed is done, Yana is dead.”

“Great,” Noa said.

“There's a messenger for that now. You didn't need to deliver news yourself, Captain,” Eliaz said.

“I’m here as a courtesy. Ardent Noa was a victim of Yana and Loic’s crimes, and Loic was one of our own.”

“How nice of my would-be killer’s own to tell me━ow!” Noa shot Eliaz a look after the elf elbowed him. Right, he probably shouldn't be messing with these guys. But they just make it so easy...

“Merely our duty,” WhatsHisFace said, nodding to his men behind him. The knights broke off at the signal, slowly circling around the two of them. When Noa stepped back, Eliaz stopped him with a hand.

“Wait,” Eliaz whispered, a glint in his eye.

“We should have a long chat, Ardent Noa,” WhatsHisFace suggested.

“We just had it.” Noa cursed himself. Right, don't screw with this guy.

“You're terrible at this,” Eliaz huffed.

Noa’s eyebrow twitched. He motioned to WhatsHisFace. “He started it!”

“Noa, it's bad enough you look twelve, don't act it too!”

“He's bullying me. Who's the twelve year old in this scenario? Or did you miss the part where he manhandled me yesterday?”

“Hey━” WhatsHisFace tried.

“Bullies can be adults too.” Eliaz interjected.

“I am an adult!”

“Argh!”

Noa flinched as Eliaz jerked toward him. He grabbed the handlebars of the wheelbarrow, and scowled with a warcry as he heaved it straight towards WhatsHisFace. “Run!”

Eliaz darted to one side, Noa taking the now obvious cue to move on the other side of WhatsHisFace, his knights now far too spread out to reach them. Not that it didn't stop WhatsHisFace from taking the football leap of his life!

Noa yelped, jumping from the man’s lunge, the guy just barely grasping at the back of his shirt. Dropping from the pull, Noa wasted no time slithering out of his shirt, slipping away from WhatsHisFace’s second hand, immediately jumping away from a second knight’s approach.

“Stop!” WhatsHisFace hissed.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Noa darted away, Eliaz already much further ahead, his own set of knights chasing after him. That left Noa to deal with three, the third making a mad dash right behind him.

It's the apples, he thought, his legs propelling him down the hill faster than the three men behind him. Damned, cursed things!

Land in an orchard and you're accused of stealing them. Take them to town, and you get mugged by knights. Common denominator, clearly.

Noa twisted to the side, one of the knights chasing Eliaz breaking off to swing back at him, sending a shiver through Noa’s spine as he continued forward. That was too close for comfort.

Just a little further! he thought, town just ahead.

“Ack!”

Noa glanced to his right, Eliaz pinned by a knight.

Curses! Now what?

A spike of adrenaline surged through Noa’s veins as he felt a hand push into his back, forcing him forward. He tumbled to the ground with a grunt, but kept the momentum going as he forced his roll to put him back up on his feet.

Pushing himself forward, he was ill prepared for the arm that wrapped around his shoulders, throwing him against the ground. Noa coughed when he hit the ground, air knocked out of him.

He stared up at a sour WhatsHisFace.

Gasping in, Noa groaned. “I'm getting an extreme sense of deja vu.”

WhatsHisFace scowled, reaching for Noa.