Noa patted Armael’s cheek, pursing his lips when there was no response.

“Try slapping him,” Chief suggested.

“Yes, slap the man who has a head injury that I didn't actually finish healing. What a good idea,” Noa said, dripping with sarcasm.

“Do you have any better ideas?” Aud asked.

“I know!” Magenta grinned, adjusting the fur he'd wrapped around his waist for the thousandth time. He punched his fist into the palm of his hand. “I can give him a solid troll pounding. No one can sleep through that!”

“That's worse!” Noa threw up his hands. “For people who like stories, you guys aren't very creative.”

“I take great offense to that, Noa Bard,” Chief crossed her arms, her makeshift fur toga nearly slipping off her shoulder.

Noa dragged his hands down his face, groaning.

“Maybe telling him a story will wake him up,” Magenta suggested next.

Noa deadpanned magenta. “Go get your waterskin,” he said. The troll shrugged and started back to the pile of furs the three trolls left after evolving.

“Ah, that is a wise idea. Good job, human,” Chief complimented, pushing black hair out of her face with a frown. She regarded her hair like it was some sort of pest that needed squashing, only to repeatedly discover it was attached to her head. “Ow,” she said, ripping a few hairs out.

“You should figure out how to tie all that hair back,” Noa suggested.

“Oh, binding hair, I have seen human women do this. Perhaps they can teach me to tame such pestilent locks!” Chief said, grinning maniacally.

Her teeth are straight, Noa noted.

Magenta returned, effortlessly carrying a comically large waterskin for his size. He popped it open, and squeezed the water out onto Armael with such force that Noa might as well have slapped his mentor.

Armael gasped awake, flailing so much that Noa jumped away to avoid being smacked. The old man hopped up to his feet, looking around wildly before he wobbled and sat back down. “What happened to all the lions?” he asked.

“Dead,” Aud said.

Armael raised an eyebrow, and looked at the troll woman. “You're...” His eyes shifted to Chief, and finally to Magenta. “Well, this is unexpected.” He rubbed his head, and winced.

“Ever thought about not passing out, huh?” Noa jabbed.

“It wasn't my choice,” Armael retorted.

“Neither was this deal selling me to trolls!”

“Oh look, clouds.”

Noa huffed. “Just finish healing yourself, loser, and let's get down this mountain.”

“Done.”

Raising his brow, Noa leaned over to look at Armael’s head wound. Huh, that was fast. Imagine if we had a [Grand Healer] while fighting a deadly battle with mountain lions, he frowned. “Come on.” Reaching over, Noa grabbed his mentor’s arm and pulled him up. Kind of. Okay, he struggled.

“And I’m the loser, said he,” Armael didn't help, instead letting Noa put on a full display of his pathetic strength.

“You know what, fine. Chief,” Noa said, looking at the golden troll. He pointed at Armael. “Pick him up.”

“I do not take orders, Noa Bard.”

“Please?”

“I can pick myself up, kid,” Armael huffed, standing up. “Now, how are we getting down the mountain?”

“That's what I asked,” Noa rolled his eyes.

“We shall test our new strengths as we carry you both down, weak and fragile humans,” Aud said.

“Hey! This weak and fragile human,” Noa pointed a thumb to himself, “kept you all alive.”

“Thank you, kid, for admitting that you are, in all actuality, weak and fragile,” Armael said.

“Yeah, okay, let's go,” Noa huffed at his mentor’s chuckle as he started back towards the cliffside. “You're weak and fragile,” he grumbled, “I'm not the one who passed out.”

Noa yelped when Magenta picked him up from behind. “How do I hold humans now?” he asked.

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“Like this, maybe?” Magenta jerked around towards Aud, Noa’s arms clasped at his sides from the troll’s hold. Aud quite literally tossed Armael over her shoulder, the [Grand Healer] taking flight with a cry while Aud stood, dumbfounded.

“That was not supposed to happen,” she said.

Chief jumped into motion, chasing the healer down, and leaping up in front of a boulder to catch him. She missed. Noa’s jaw dropped as he watched his mentor crumple in a mass of soaking wet robes against the boulder while Chief overshot her jump, now falling from some twenty feet into the air. Aud rushed to Armael to catch him from hitting the ground, just barely succeeding.

Armael let out a loud groan as Aud shifted him in her arms bridal style. “Are you okay?”

“Of course not!” he hissed, healing a shoulder that looked... interesting.

Magenta very gently set Noa down, so gentle that the troll’s arms were shaking. “Very fragile humans,” he said.

“We need to be more careful,” Chief said, finally landing. “We are stronger.”

“Or at least more compact, skewing your cursed perceptions of the weight of everything!” Armael said. “Get me off this cursed mountain!”

“If we can jump far...” Magenta said, Noa yelping as he was scooped up bridal style. He clung to the troll as Magenta started running, quickly picking up speed.

“What are you doing!” Noa yelled over the wind, his stomach lurching when Magenta leaped, and soared through the air. “Fragile! Remember, very fragile!”

“You can heal!” Magenta said, the ground coming quickly.

“I'm out of aether, man! No heals!”

“Oh, right,” Magenta said, but was not nearly as concerned as Noa sounded during their descent, screaming like a goat.

Noa closed his eyes, bracing against the newly evolved troll, and his stomach dropped and lurched again. When he next opened his eyes, they were soaring through the air again. Huh, this upgraded version of a troll roller coaster was significantly better. A smile stretched on his lips as they continued, Magenta gently coming to a stop at the edge of the cliff.

Chief and Aud landed nearby, Aud carrying a terrified Armael. They weren't near as elegant in their new skills as Magenta, which deterred Noa from making a jab at his mentor when he first opened his mouth.

“We can jump from ledge to ledge down the cliffside, one at a time,” Chief said. “I will go first, then you two follow with the humans on your backs.”

The trip down the mountain went exactly as Chief said. There were one or two close calls on ledges that broke away, but with Chief taking the lead, she stumbled upon them first, saving Aud and Magenta the trouble. Overall, five out of five stars for the troll roller coaster ride.

Noa slowly slid from Magenta’s back once they made it to the cave complex. “Okay, so what now, old man?” he asked, looking at Armael. “All three of them evolved, so who comes back to Briag with us?”

“Old man?” Armael hissed.

“You keep calling me ‘kid’, only seems fair.”

“Fine, kid.” He looked at Chief. “I will leave the choice up to you.”

“Good, not that I would have given you the choice,” Chief said, crossing her arms. “First, how did you get us to evolve? We have fought on that mountain for ages with no evolutions.”

“Noa has an Elorn blessed item. It has the spiritual presence required for evolution,” Armael answered.

“What must we trade for it?” Chief asked.

Armael opened his mouth, and Noa knew exactly how this would go━he would get the short end of the stick. Shoving the priest aside, Noa placed himself directly in front of Chief. “It's mine, if you want it, you will negotiate with no one but me,” he said, then held up a finger as he paused. “I'm not willing to trade it at this time.” Certainly, more uses for it would pop up, and the hell he went through to get it? Yeah, his lock was his.

“I see you're learning, kid,” Armael said, his face a split between a scowl and a smile. Was that approval in his eyes?

“Then we will simply require you to go with more hunting parties,” Chief said.

Noa blinked. Oh no, he thought. While the extra levels were nice, he did not like the idea of ruining a second pair of pants. “Wait!” he said, and turned to Magenta. “I think I repaid my life debt on that mountain,” he said.

Magenta raised his brow, frowned, then scratched his head of black hair. “I do not believe I was ever gravely injured that I could not have healed from with time,” he said.

“Your arm,” Noa pointed. “It broke badly, a lot of bleeding. And Chief and Aud were also badly injured up there. You all would have died without me, so my life debt is repaid.”

“The trip was your idea,” Chief retorted.

A smile itched at the corners of Noa’s lips, and he pointed his thumb at Armael. “No, I believe all your negotiations were made with this old man. I was simply there by consequence.”

“But without you, how will I know the ending of The Rings of Lords?” Magenta asked, motioning with his fists dramatically.

“Lord of The Rings,” Noa corrected.

“Yes!”

Noa couldn't help the smile on his face as he crossed his arms. Not only was he getting himself out of a mess, but maybe some sort of career as well. “I am willing to negotiate payment for my storytelling,” he said to Magenta, and turned to Chief. “You agree I am free?”

“With reluctance,” Chief said, frowning. “What must I negotiate to have you help my trolls evolve?”

“How about labor for Briag━”

“The trolls are already trading labor to enter Briag’s market,” Noa cut Armael off. “But that does give me an idea,” he said, looking up at Chief. I can’t believe I'm willing to go fight lions again... “I will go up the mountain with your trolls once a week to help them evolve if you help me build a clinic.”

“Once every five days, and it is a deal,” Chief said.

“Done.”

“Tyrm, I want you to go with Noa Bard and be our ambassador,” Chief said, and looked at Armael. “I will take liberties to trade him out with Aud as I please.”

“That is fine. We will provide housing in the church for them,” Armael nodded.

“The church has housing?” Noa asked.

“There are plans in the making for an... upgrade,” Armael said. He looked up at Chief, “A pleasure doing business.”

“Sure, human priest,” Chief shrugged, then waved for Aud to follow her into the caves.

“So, about the stories?” Magenta asked eagerly.

Noa looked at the troll, wringing his hands together. “Let's talk about gemstones,” he said.