Looking for a roller coaster in another world? Yeah, those didn't exist here. Instead, Noa had trolls, and there was nothing quite as terrifying as being jostled around in the hands of one while he ran. Uphill. On uneven ground. Even if the ground was close, relatively speaking, Noa couldn't help the way his stomach dropped every time he thought Magenta would let go of him.

Please don't drop me, please don't drop me! he repeated, the mantra no help to his beating heart, nor inability to take in a full breath from how tightly the troll held him. He pounded his fist multiple times on Magenta’s hand to no avail.

“It is not a good thing, human!”

No kidding! I can hardly breathe, man! Noa kicked next, sucking in the small amount of air he could.

“Magenta!” he wheezed out, pounding both fists now.

“Not a time to celebrate, human!”

Why was he not getting through to him!

“Can't...” he wheezed again, and then his stomach lurched as Magenta dropped him.

Noa flailed in the air, and gasped in. All he managed to get out was a little yelp as he collided with his doom down━oh wait, it was soft. Nevermind.

Totally not embarrassing, he thought, pushing himself off of the furs he landed on. He slid from a brown troll’s stomach, piles of pelts covering the woman entirely, save for her marred face. Had there not been so much indigo blood, he'd not have seen her face at all, her color blending into the ground.

The closer Noa got, the bigger his cringe became. Something had clawed through her face. “Damn, what happened?” he asked, looking up at Chief first, who kneeled at the woman’s head.

“Hunting gone wrong. Can you heal her?” she asked.

“I don't have enough aether for this, I can at least stop the bleeding and get the mending started,” Noa said, first casting [Lesser Appeal].

System [Lesser Appeal] level 10 → 11.

System Direct [Lesser Mend]?

Yes or no?

Noa watched as the bleeding came to a slow stop and crusted over. This was going to take a lot of aether, and while the wounds looked to mostly affect the skin, plus a broken nose and burst eye, it didn't seem at all deadly. Not exactly the kind of emergency he expected.

System [Lesser Mend] level 47 → 48.

System Aether depleted.

Furrowing his brow at the severe lack of reaction from the injured troll, Noa looked up at Chief. “Why is she sleeping?” he asked.

“Herbal. To help with the pain,” she said. “Hard to grow along with anything else. How do we acquire the aether you speak of?”

Good question, Noa thought, thinking his charity in aether stones was likely running out, especially after the ones Conagan had stolen.

“She’ll probably be fine, other than pain. If I go back to the church in town, I can try bargaining for aether stones from Priest Olwen, or learn how to make them myself,” Noa said, hoping for the latter.

Chief nodded. She looked at Magenta. “Tyrm, take the human back to retrieve aether stones. We will take Aud inside the caves for now.”

“Can I wa━ah!” Noa huffed as Magenta picked him up. At least he didn't hold him so tight this time. As they started back down the mountain pass, Noa twisted around to look at the troll. “I can walk,” he said.

“Humans are slow. It is better that I carry you.”

Noa frowned. “It's not polite to manhandle people in human society. Put me down,” he said.

“I have offended you?”

Why is this a surprise to you? Noa wondered, deadpanning the troll’s confused expression. Or constipated. He wasn't entirely sure.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

“Yes, I'm offended,” Noa said, nodding resolutely.

“Forgive me, human,” Magenta said, and... nothing happened.

Noa facepalmed. Magenta couldn't possibly be this dense!

“Look, man, I'll always be slower than you if you don't let me build up my endurance. Put me down,” Noa pointed.

“Large rocks are hard for your tiny legs to traverse; I carry you.”

Noa huffed, glad he had enough air to do it this time. He rested his elbow on Magenta's hand, and his chin on his fist, examining the craggy cliff walls and stony pass around them. What if I could build something that would stop them from manhandling? he thought. While he lacked the skills to build, well, anything, he at least had the ideas, albeit stolen from Earth. A ski lift, maybe?

Noa filed the idea away for later as they started down the hill and into town. He dropped his fist from his chin, and looked up at Magenta as the troll chuckled.

“Are you excited to be back in your town?” he asked.

Noa furrowed his brow. Why would he...? Oh, OH! He looked at his fist where it rested, recalling that the trolls in the bar banged their fists when he'd regaled them with The Princess Bride.

You're kidding, Noa thought, staring at his fist. No wonder the troll thought he was fine when he banged his fists!

“Hey, Tyrm, what do trolls signal when they are in distress?” he asked.

Magenta raised his free hand, and waved it. “Waving, obviously.”

Obviously, Noa thought, rolling his eyes. He waved both hands.

“You are... distressed?” Magenta hummed, raising his eyebrows.

“Put me down!” Noa tried, frantically waving like an excited hooligan.

“We are here,” Magenta placed Noa at the top of the church steps.

Damnit.

The troll knelt down in front of the church, impeding half of the street. “I know you do not like being held, human bard━”

“You can call me Noa.”

“Noa,” Magenta repeated, “but when someone is in pain, best to do things quickly to resolve it, yes?”

Pursing his lips, Noa thought about it for a moment. While it was hard to tell when the troll was or wasn't constipated, he could at least see that Magenta cared. “Alright, until I can figure out a faster mode of transportation,” Noa said, crossing his arms.

Magenta nodded.

Turning around, Noa made his way into the church. “Priest Olwen?” he asked.

“Back so soon?” Olwen called from his office.

Making his way there, Noa stopped in the open doorway. “Could you teach me how to fill aether stones?” he asked.

“Of course. Do you have any gems?”

“How do I...?” Noa trailed. Actually, he probably could bargain for some gems from the trolls. “Possibly. Uncut.”

“The more perfectly cut, the better it will contain aether,” Olwen looked up from his book. “How about I teach you after some lessons tonight?”

“Sounds great. So, can I borrow a couple of aether stones?” Noa smiled sheepishly.

Olwen chuckled, shaking his head. “Ardent, you need to start charging for healings, especially if you're using church resources.”

Great, another thing to add to Noa’s growing list of tasks━get his own aether stones.

“I don't know if trolls have money, and I don't think they'll repay me until I repay a life debt,” Noa said, running a hand down his face.

The priest sighed, setting his book down. “I'll make you repay it with your stipend,” he said.

Noa cringed. Yeah, he was out of charity.

“Actually,” Olwen perked up. “A different trade.”

“That would be?”

“Work towards becoming a priest, and I will provide you with two aether stones daily while you are serving the trolls. Stackable up to four,” Olwen said, a smile stretching across his face.

“Weren't you going to have me do something like that previously?” Noa asked.

Olwen shrugged, a sly glint in his eye. What are you up to? Noa wondered, narrowing his eyes.

“And what would becoming a priest entail?” Noa asked.

“Serving in the name of Elorn, of course. I assume, like Eliaz, you will be going to the university when you can,” Olwen said, standing up and rounding his desk. He walked to Noa. “You will school in Elorn’s name, and then go to battle in his name. Stand for the church, Noa, and we will back you in your endeavors.”

For some reason, this felt like a decision that couldn't be taken lightly. Yet, all of it sounded really good. He'd do healings for the church, which would provide him with aether stones, and...

“Is it possible to make a living off of only ten percent of my earnings?”

“You can have a career outside of church. So, yes,” Olwen said.

Noa scratched his head, then shrugged. I wanted easy, and it sounds easy, he thought.

“Noa bard?” Noa jumped, and leaned back, seeing half of Magenta’s face in the church doorway. “What's taking so long?”

Whipping back to Olwen, he said, “Alright, I'll accept. I'll become a priest for Elorn.”

A grin stretched across Olwen’s face, and he pulled two aether stones from his pocket, and placed them in Noa’s hand. “Only three more ordinations to go through. I'm sure the high prelate will be delighted when I inform him of your choices.”

“Erm, thanks. Why would the high prelate care about a lowly ardent?” Noa asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You, Ardent Noa, discovered corruption in the monarchy’s choice of law enforcement, in the name of Elorn, of course. I dare say that makes you the most important ardent in the church at this moment.”

Noa blinked. Is... is this some sort of... coup?