It's early evening, and me and the girls are sat around a long table. Most of this inn's other patrons seem to have just been around for a liquid breakfast before, and have retired.

There is an uncomfortable silence and nursing of drinks going on.

It’s unusual for this group.

Oh yeah... I guess drinking laws aren't a thing here. Or possibly just that Violet doesn't give a shit. Aria is on the King's Cider, Rishya has some suspicious blue cocktail, Kiku and Kaede are both on (different) wines, Kali has a frothy beer, and Seria is swirling a tumbler of whiskey.

Come to think of it, it was Aria that recommended that cider to me my first night in this world. The one that became the molotov. She must be a connoisseur. Or maybe she really likes apple juice? I can see both making sense.

The molotov, was in many respects, the real door into our current circumstance.

Suddenly, Kali downs her tankard of beer and slams it on the table.

"Kali doesn't mind sharing!" She exclaims.

There is a sudden uproar at this statement. A cacophony of noise I cannot even begin to filter.

I suppose it's not a surprise. I was probably getting ahead of myself, rubbing Kiku's face like that. She looked so cute, clearly trying to pretend she was asleep.

The argument is senseless already. Just girls trying to talk over each other.

I can't let this turn into a bloodbath though. Harem maintenance is a job and a half... but it's now my responsibility.

BANG!

The drinks all skip into the air slightly as I slam the table. I want to scream 'objection!' but...

"I'm a lolicon pervert!" I shout instead.

All the girls stop and stare.

"But as a man who is also a gentleman, I won't tolerate this."

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

"I feel like all of you are amazingly cute. I want to treasure you all. The fact you all appear to like me is amazing... but I have never had fortune like this. I am very sorry that I don't know how to handle it right. But I will promise to try. Please bear with me, as always."

There is a silence.

...

...

It is broken by a howling laughter from behind the bar counter as Violet limps out.

"Not bad boy, I'll give it a pass mark." She snarks. "Well ladies... whatever will you do? Aren't you compatriots?"

They all look back and forth at one another, and though this is an unfortunate expression to use, there is a pregnant pause.

"Elijah... you are insane." Aria breaks the silence.

"You know... I'm a princess. I could just tell all these others to back off and make it illegal to be in love with an Etranger by the death penalty or something. I'd do it. Even you, Rish."

What. Aria would really abuse her power like that? Things have progressed that far? This is like that visual novel where aliens destroy the white house accidently and then instate a Japanese schoolgirl as president with brainwashing.

"Whatever happened to the wrong priorities..." I mumble.

Aria sighs.

"Yes Elijah... wrong priorities. I know. I'm stupid and also a hypocrite. Aren't we all?"

Aria rubs her forehead.

"Maybe it’s not even real love I feel for you. Maybe it is a strange effect of summoning. Why is that..."

My mouth opens by itself.

"Aria, did you just say you love me?"

She stops, and shakes. I feel like she's about to froth at the mouth. Whether from shock or anger, I don't know...

"Holy fucking shit!" Rowdy Kiku appears. "Why is it there's always somebody stood in front of me!" She slams her face into the table, raises her head again, and bursts out in a ghastly wail.

"Niiiiiiiiiii! I looove youuuu tooo!"

I gape. That was a ~horrifying~ confession. Her forehead is bleeding. But the problems aren't over yet.

"To my chagrin, yes, it appears that, despite our short time in proximity, I am also concerned by feelings of an unusual degree of affection for your personage for reasons beyond my understanding and control." Kaede states, deadpan.

My gape grows. Kaede was capable of such a sentence?

"Fufufu... what a player. Well... you have already received my confession, boy. As an intellectual curiosity... I have vested interest in you." Seria interjects.

So, that was a confession after all? Jeez...

"Ahhhh!! It's not like I like you or anything... but you'd best not... go anywhere... or else!" Rishya's tsundere only makes it worse.

"Kali simple. Kali likes. Destined one. No questions."

Actually, I have plenty of questions, Kali. There's nothing simple about this.

"So, the consensus reached is a formal declaration of war, then?" Aria has suddenly taken on a regal tone again, like she did with the guards.

It silences the rowdy proceedings once more.

"Wait!" I shout. "This isn't...!"

"...What you wanted?" Aria finishes. "No... onii-chan... I'm sure it isn't. We all appreciate the fact that you are plausibly confused and just naturally kind to girls. But you cannot... we cannot... abide by such a wishy washy non-decision."

Well shit.

It works for other harem protagonists. But I'm doomed…