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Yuusha Isekai! Youjo Suki!
1. A Minefield of Blunders

1. A Minefield of Blunders

It's a magic circle. Two chanting wizard types. An extraordinary looking girl is concentrating with a rather constipated expression in front of me with her arms raised. Despite the expression, she looks fantastically cute, silver hair cut in a messy short bob and bright blue eyes. Right in my strike-zone.

Yep, this is a typical dream I suppose. I'm in an Isekai type thing since I was reading them all day yesterday. Which scenario is this? One of those summoned to be the husband of a great queen. Nn, I like the look of the girl so let’s go with that.

The particle effects fade from around me. Must have run low on budget. I feel myself land on one-knee, as I was floating before, partially incorporeal.

There is a cry of jubilation from the wizardly jii-sans. They shout strange words. Shortly after, like some comedy dub of an old Chinese martial arts flick, a monotone English voice overlaps it with "You did it, Aria-sama!".

Thank you translation-function-san! What a lovely name! Let's not waste time. I leap to my feet and immediately pull off my best chuuni pose.

"Thank you for summoning me, oh great and lovely Aria. I am ready to become your husband!"

Aria, the silver haired girl, goes through a safari of expressions in a short space of seconds, eventually settling on a furious embarrassed look. A pin drops on the other side of the room whilst she is munching on something to say.

Oops. Wrong setting I guess. Well... we can do something about...

I get a palm-print slap worthy of the shoujo heroine she appears to be, and artistically soar across the room.

You what.

YOU WHAT?!?

My face impacts the cold stone floor whilst I am in shock; causing my naked form some painful rug burn.

...

....

.....

Ok, so that was a blunder. As we all know, one does not feel pain or court death in dreams. Therefore, this is actually real. Fear my Logic skills. I was in the debate society.

This is troublesome. Let’s look at the facts. I took on a rather embarrassing pose in front of a juvenile looking girl and proposed. Whilst naked. Hmm.

"W-W-W-What are you doing!? Why are you sat with your legs crossed and your hand on your chin! What's wrong with you!?" Aria shouts, cutely puffing her face and balling her fists as she does so.

Oh. I took the pose of the thinker without thinking about it. Ironic. I think I made Miss Aria mad. She is flanked by the two Jii-san wizards I had nearly forgotten about. They look like they're going to gut me like a fish. They have scary eyes. Are they her guardians? Let’s call them Smith and Jones. Guess I should apologise and gather more information.

I effortlessly fall into a dogeza from the thinker. Huh. Seems like I'm more agile than I used to be.

"I offer my apologies. I was so stunned by your beauty, I couldn't contain myself."

I sneak a peek from the floor. Predictably, she is looking coy and is fidgeting whilst struggling to stop herself smiling. Innocent as expected. I feel like I should adjust my half-rim glasses in a smug fashion, but I'm naked and missing them. Wait. I can see perfectly as well. Weird…

"E-Even so... Wait! That's not the poiiiinnnnttt HEEEERRE!! Do you know why you are here?"

Let's go with common cliché number one.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

"I have been summoned to another world for a great task. To stop the Demon King!"

She looks baffled again. Bullseye! Don't underestimate the genre savvy!

"T-That's right. The Demon Emperor, Cultivator N’vstvr, is on a rampage across the eastern lands."

Cultivator Nuh’vustuvur? What's with this, a Chinese novel protagonist with a mythos name? I've gotta fight that? That's like going against the gods. Badum-cha! Let’s check...

"Is this emperor skilled in martial arts and breathing techniques that give him godly powers?"

"What? No. He's a six-armed demon-dragon that breathes acid and summons zombies."

That's a relief. I'd have no chance versus one of those guys. A necrodragon is fine. Probably.

Aria is still blushing, and apparently realising something at this rather late stage, detaches her pink cloak and throws it over my face. It's not an especially flattering colour on me, but I'll take it. I stand and secure it like a skirt with the brooch it comes with. I have to be careful I don't open a door I can't close again, wearing pink skirts like this.

Speaking of doors, suddenly, the large double-doors of the stone magical summoning chamber burst open, and a man full of mien strides in, flanked by two knights in full-plate mail holding their swords aloft like they’ve got a job posing as table-top miniatures. As the Jii-san wizards, but not Aria, go down on a knee, I assume this is the king, so I kneel again. Normally this would be playing heck with my knees, going down naked on a stone floor like this, but for some reason I'm feeling full of vitality as well. My injured cheek has also stopped throbbing.

The man has a hawkish gaze, and is a dignified middle-aged man in his prime. I’d guess he's in his fifties but looks forty, one of those. Unusually, though he does have the greying blonde slickback hair and the piercing blue eyes, he's lacking the beard the king archetype normally has. He wastes no time in slapping Aria in the same way she slapped me. If I was a vindictive sort, I would have smirked, but it seems a shame in this case to mar her cuteness.

However, after delivering the slap, he hugs her tightly after a short delay. I see, he’s actually a doting father, is he?

"You fool, Aria. I'm glad you succeeded; but do not worry me like this. You know what happened to Melody."

Aria looks like she is on the verge of tears (in a different way to when she was embarrassed). She sniffles and looks up at her dad quite reverently.

"I know, Otou-sama. But I had to do it, and you know it."

Hmm. Seems like the summoning has an RNG element. Something bad happened to another princess? Whilst I ponder, the king type releases Aria and looks over to me.

"You may rise, Etranger."

I do so. But really, translation-function-san, Etranger? Why the sudden French? That said, I'm noticing the sync is rapidly improving. It's almost in time with his lips now, and its gained imperious intonation similar to the King's original words.

"Has Aria told you of your purpose and abilities? Has she asked you of your affinity?"

Aria suddenly looks bashful and her gaze drops. She's so cute, I can forgive her earlier violence. But because I feel like messing with her, I put on a confused expression to the king.

He sighs and immediately gives Aria a stern gaze.

"I... I... I didn't! Teehee!"

My god... she actually tried the ‘teehee’ strategy. Including the cutesy fist to the head and the wink. I might die if I had diabetes. The king isn't amused at the sugar his daughter is producing though, and delivers a proper fist to her head, making her swirly eyed. I suppress a snicker with difficulty. Is this like a boy who bullies a girl he likes? I guess it is. Smith and Jones shift on their knees and have murderous eyes for me again. Scary. I decide to repent just in case.

"My... my lord... do not blame her. I think she was overcome with the shock of my... appearance... She was just beginning the explanation about me fighting a Demon Dragon."

He looks at me and I beckon to the cape-skirt I have. The king face-palms but seems to come to an understanding.

"She is just a young girl. I forget sometimes, with how much of a dumb musclebrain she is. It is nice you are so merciful to her, but she doesn't deserve it sometimes."

Oh? This is new information, I originally thought she was just crazy innocent. This is a baka-princess then? Actually; considering the force of the slap earlier it fits. I didn't think about it considering the noble blue dress she is currently in, but yes, she looks pretty uncomfortable in it, she's really quite young and doesn't have the chest for it. Probably a bit of idiot sword swinging type of girl commonly seen in these things.

The king sighs and gives me an inclination of the head.

"Let me start from the top, then. I am King Legato Jeraldine. This is the Kingdom of Jeraldine's capital. I'm sure you have plenty of questions, but first we should get you into a more comfortable place and acquire you some clothes. The formalities in this circumstance are all shot anyway. Then I can explain."

Guess I don't have much choice. And given this Isekai opportunity, I think it’s worth listening at least.

The (so far) silent knights turn in lockstep and begin to walk as Legato beckons and turns. Aria also turns and follows, still showing a messy palette of emotions whilst eying me and her father. I guess this is good, if I’m careful I get to sneak peeks at her shapely rear and legs through her form fitting noble dress as we go. I grin internally and follow the young girls behind.

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