“Daniyel that’s brilliant! We’re going to arrive before anyone else! We’ll have plenty of time, and even when the backup from Akionantes arrives, they’ll just say the same thing!” I suddenly frowned. “The only problem is that we don’t have any Sylvani.”

Eshaan shrugged. “You’re easily pretty enough to pass as a sylvani, Lily. We just need to give you pointy ears and give you a green wig for a little bit. We still have the wig from your Avatar disguise too.”

My cheeks turned as pink as my hair. “Eshaan! That’s…!”

“An excellent idea.” Soriya said.

I whirled on her. “Traitor!” I hissed. “You’re easily twice as pretty as me!”

Soriya tossed her hair over her shoulder. “I’m not sure I agree, but if it’s a concern to you… why don’t you let me be the elf in charge? You can be my silent backup, and everyone else can just be the human minions.”

“This is an unsound plan.” Camaxtli said. “For starters, all the humans in Akionantes had darker skin. Only Daniyel matches that criterion.”

Eshaan shrugged. “There’s berries that can dye your skin dark, and Soriya makes her own dyes.”

I blinked. “Brownberries? I made muffins with those, but…”

I felt a guilty pleasure that as the plan started to unfold, I wasn’t going to be required to do any more illusion magic. I wouldn’t even have to talk!

I let out a sigh of relief. Finally! I can let Eshaan and Soirya handle this! I jerked, realizing what I’d just thought. Do I… want to let someone… but then… the healer girl never does anything, I don’t want to turn into the stereotype! The stereotype dies in the end! But… didn’t I do exactly this during the heist?

I really… don’t like this deception stuff! I don’t like being good at it. I giggled quietly. And I’m not, really. I’m… just relying on my friends. For help, for strength… the power of friendship indeed.

I came back to the conversation with Soriya snapping her fingers in front of my eyes.

“Lily? Do you want to tell them what to expect from the fire and ice dungeon?”

I opened my mouth to ask why Soriya couldn’t, and then shut it with a sharp click. If I want to have a role in this, I need to… do work. I don’t like this… but I do like the adventure. And I’m good at this. I thought.

“Yes, actually.” I said, and took a deep breath, and then started to outline the typical run of the mandatory fire dungeon and ice dungeon.

After I’d finished wrapping up, Camaxtli said “So… if I am understanding you correctly. We will want elementaly infused weapons?”

I nodded. “Almost certinally.”

“But there won’t be ancient machinery?” Lakshmi said, sounding immensely disappointed.

“Also yes, very unlikely.”

Lakshmi looked like someone had just run over her puppy, or canceled her birthday.

I winced and then added “Maybe there will be the remains of an ancient power station?” I said, feeling sorry for her.

“Really?” She perked up immediately.

“Maybe.” I stressed.

“Well… it’s better than nothing.”

“So, our plan is… give Miss Soriya elf ears, put a wig on Lily, and then rub brownberry on everything?”

“I’ve only used brownberry for cooking.” I muttered. “I have no idea how that will work.”

“Just think of it like you’re preparing us for dinner!” Eshaan said brightly.

I glared at him. “Eshaan! No! Gross!”

Soriya laughed. “Take a leaf from your mother then, we’ve both made potions before.” She turned to Lakshmi and raised an eyebrow. “You any good with potions?”

Lakshmi shook her head. “I know the general theory but-”

“Good enough!” Soriya grinned at her.

Camaxtli looked back and forth between us. “Then I suspect that we will want to do some alchemical shopping when we arrive at the destination city.”

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

Daniyal cleared his throat. “Have we solidified a destination? I was unaware that we had charts of the far north.”

Lakshmi grinned and produced a roll of paper. “Because there was no way that I was going to just look at a sylvani map of the world and not make a copy!” She said. “We’re headed to the city of Malazar on the coast of Bekent.” She unrolled the parchment on the lounge table and pointed to a roughly sketched island at the edge of the map. “If I got the distances right, then we should get there in a day and a half. Two days tops.”

I coughed. “Or. You know. We could just go visit mother, and ask her?” I said in confusion.

There was a startled silence and then Soriya said “I’d forgotten you could actually do that! But… you can’t return to someplace you haven’t been, right?”

I nodded. “Yes. We’d have to land, if that’s what you’re asking?”

Soriya nodded back. “Yes, that was my concern. But then we’ll be behind the elven fleet instead of ahead.”

Lakshmi laughed and flipped her hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about that, they’ll be chasing the wrong direction for days at least! And anyway, the other elven fleet is already there!”

I blinked in surprise.

Eshaan said “Oh! Wow, that’s brilliant Lakshmi! You went some other direction before you went north?!”

Lakshmi nodded proudly. “Of course! I can’t depend on invisibility all the time! Good old fashioned pirate tricks are best!”

I raised an eyebrow. “And you read this trick in which book?”

Eshaan and Lakshmi chorused “The Drifting Archipelago!” in unison, and then looked at each other, laughing in surprise.

I rolled my eyes. “Ok, fine. I suppose we should stop by the Imperial City to check a bookshop for you Lakshmi?”

She stopped laughing, and her eyes got wide. “Oh. Oh wow… I…”

Eshaan shook her arm emphatically. “What are you hesitating for! We both want to get that new one, remember?!”

Lakshmi looked to the side, and crossed her arms. “Yes, but… I mean, it’s the capital. And there’s Deacon. And…”

I reached over and touched her arm lightly. “It’s ok Lakshmi. I’ll find a book for you, if you want”

“No!” Her response was emphatic and surprising.

I stepped back from her in confusion and alarm.

“No.” Her voice was a lot softer. “That’s sweet Lily, and thank you but… but I’ve depended on others too much. If this was the palace, I’d have servants to buy the book. If this was the palace the book would just be on my reading chair and I wouldn’t even need to think about it!”

She was silent, looking pensive. “It probably is on my reading chair.” She said softly.

I looked over at Daniyel, who returned my gaze with a slight shake of his head. I nodded, then said softly “Then we’ll let you go shopping in my village. The bookstore is tiny, but I’m sure there’s some books for you to read.”

Soriya giggled. “Or, you know, we could just visit Farna. Or Eien. Or Eburah. We haven’t’ left enemies every place we’ve been.” She said. “Just the big ones.”

I sighed. “I guess I’ll have to wear the itchy wig again then.” I grumbled.

“And cosplay ears!” Soriya added.

I groaned and clapped my hands to my face.

“Sure!” I waved my arms wildly. “We’re going back to see mother, so sure! Lets make a cosplay convention out of it!”

Soriya patted my head. “That’s my little homemaker!”

I glared at her, crossing my arms. “I have the {Gourmet} class! I didn’t take seamstress!” I growled at her.

I blinked in surprise. Huh. No emphasis from the World Soul? Is… seamstress not a class?

“No, but your mother is a crafting {Tinker}. I bet she knows how.” Said Soriya with a triumphant grin.

I sighed and threw up my hands in defeat. “Alright. Fine. It will let me restock on groceries anyway.” I said with a huff.

Lakshmi set the Sparrowhawk down in rolling hills near a mountain range marked as ‘Abran’ on her map. The sky overhead was free of ships, and the land was quiet and empty. It was strange, coming out of the ship, I half expected to be set upon by another side quest or event, but all that happened was the soft sound of the wind through the grass around us.

The Sparrowhawk shimmered, and then her outline faded away, leaving only an oddly shaped patch of grass and rock. Lakshmi nodded in satisfaction and then said “Well? Lets go!”

I giggled and then called up Gate. We stepped through, and returned to Breezewood. The sun was suddenly much further down than it had been, and the shadows stretched long around my home.

Eshaan looked around in confusion. “Huh? What happened to the sun?! Did we lose time?!” he exclaimed in worry.

I blinked and then burst out laughing. My adorable bag of hammers boyfriend.

I tried to explain distance, and how far we’d traveled in a blink. I failed. Then Lakshmi, tried and got much the same result.

Camaxtli stepped up and said “The world is round. When it spins, time is wrapped around it, and so we lost hours.”

I rolled my eyes at this, but who could even say if it wasn’t true… and at least Eshaan finally seemed to grasp the idea.

I think. At least he stopped looking so puppy confused and asking questions.

Mother came out to greet us, and she did indeed have a great much to say about potions, dyes, and various alchemical effects. As I knew a potion maker would. And when we told her about our cosplay deception, she was positively giddy with ideas for outfits to make.

So that’s how you make fake ears! I thought, a week later as our plans were wrapped in a neat bow.

We did stop at Farna. Partly to gain a few more zeni from sale of odds and ends we’d picked up on our travel, but also to get Lakshmi and Eshaan a copy of their much desired pirate romance novel.

It also helped that we were able to empty out a lot of space on the Sparrowhawk from the overstock of items for our trip across the White Sea.

So, a week and a day later, the Sparrowhawk, recolored gold and green, and with a crew of cosplay heroes aboard, sailed into the icebound port of Malazar.

“Here goes nothing.” I smiled nervously to Soriya, as Lakshmi set the ship down at the air docks.

Soriya grinned back at me, her fake sylvani ears twitching slightly from her manic smile.

“Just relax and let me do all the talking.” She said. “You could have been one of the human attendants you know!”

I shook my head, feeling the strange weight of the prosthetic ears. “We’ve been over this. My coloring’s too pale, and whatever weirdness the System seems intent on inflicting on me, would probably ‘fix’ the brownberry dye too! At the worst possible time!”

Soriya shrugged cheerfully, and pulled the lever to open the outer hatch. “Let’s go be elves then!” She said and strode out onto the snow covered docks.

“What’s an elf?” Muttered Eshaan quietly behind us.