“I feel like there should be theme music playing.” Soriya commented, swaying with the slow roll of the cab as we rode towards the party.

I rolled my eyes at her. “Contrary to all appearances, this world appears to be quite real and not at all a fiction. There isn’t theme music for every scene. Or any scenes, even.”

Soriya looked at me with a hurt (and slightly tipsy) expression. “I didn’t say I expected it, I just thought it would fit the mood!”

Outside, the estates of the nobles in the inner ring of the city slowly rolled past, getting larger and more elaborate with each one we passed. We were all in our formal party clothes once more, though Soriya had never changed out of hers.

The glowing lights of the city lamps were starting to spark to life as we rolled onward. It was pretty, honestly, and I couldn’t help feeling a bit of whimsy. I could understand why Soriya might say that there should be theme music.

I looked back inside, and noticed Eshaan fidgeting again, his knee bobbing up and down rapidly. I reached over and put a hand on his knee, stilling its motion. I looked into his eyes and said “Hey. It’s ok. You’re a trooper, this is just a party. Not an invasion.”

He smiled awkwardly at me. “I know, I know.”

“A slight case of nerves is hardly to be denied.” Allen piped up. I realized he hadn’t stopped biting at his thumb since we got into the cab. The offending digit was looking quite chewed on.

“I think it’s exciting!” Soriya commented.

I grinned at her. “That’s usually a sign that something is about to explode.”

Soriya mimed a hurt expression. “That’s not true! I only explode things I want to explode.”

Eshaan looked over at her, and smiled. “So… that would be all the time then?”

Soriya flipped her hand at him. “No no no. Only 70% of the time. 80, tops. Maybe 85.”

I shook my head. She did like to tease us, but I knew she didn’t actually plan on setting anything on fire… at least, not until we were running from the guards.

I sighed. “It would be nice to avoid the mandated chase.”

Soriya blinked. “I thought we’d already agreed to use Gate?”

“We did! I just… don’t have a lot of faith in this.”

Soriya frowned and looked me in the eye. “Hey. We saved Breezewood. The inevitable. We can pull this off without a guard chase!”

“That was different.” I protested. “We had a solid plan, we knew what was going to happen… this… isn’t that. We’re honestly following the script a little too closely for comfort.”

Allen frowned. “I’m afraid I don’t understand. The plan seemed sound enough to me.”

Eshaan twitched a smile. “It’s a little loose. A proper military style plan would have a lot more contingencies and outlines. We have an entrance, a goal, and an exit, but in the middle it’s mostly ‘and then talk to the girl and get her to come with us.’ That’s asking for trouble. More trouble, I should say. No plan survives contact with the enemy.”

Just then, the cab rolled to a stop, and the driver rapped sharply on the door. “We’re here, your lordship. Looks like the party’s just getting started.”

Allen got up, and opened the door of the cab, hopping down lightly. “Very good, sir, your assistance was much appreciated!” He pulled out another wad of zeni bills and peeled a few off to hand up to the cab driver. The rest of us climbed down after him.

“Did you want me to wait?” The driver asked hopefully.

Allen smiled. “Ah, no need of that, we’ve made other arrangements.”

“Hm, well.” The driver sulked a bit, clearly disappointed, but tipped the brim of his hat and wished us a good night, then drove off into the gathering gloom.

We turned to face the mansion. It was a beautiful elaborate piece of architecture, art that someone lived in as they say. I found it far too large, and frankly quite tacky. My home was much more sensible. I couldn’t imagine how many fire crystals they had to use to keep it heated in the winter!

“Well, we’re here!” Soriya grinned. “This is going to be fun!”

“Everyone check your invitations.” Allen reminded us.

They hadn’t gone anywhere, but I had to admit, it was suddenly real. “Now I feel like there should be theme music.” I whispered to Soriya.

As if on cue, the doors to the mansion opened to admit several guests ahead of us, revealing glowing light, and the sound of a full orchestra before closing again.

“Nice!” Said Soriya with a grin at me.

“You don’t have to be so excited about it all.” I grumbled to her.

We approached the doors, and the finely liveried house guards checked our invitations with studious care. Whatever social shenanigans that Allen had used to get them seemed to be legitimate however, and they finally nodded us in. I had expressed concern that our whole plan would be out the window from needing to announce false identities, but Allen gave me a shocked look as he explained that as a costume party, it was incredibly gauche to actually name the person attending by their real name.

“And besides.” He added with a small smile. “The invitations are incredibly exclusive, so it’s not like just anyone could walk in.”

The doors swung open for us, revealing a collage of color and light, swirling dresses and fancy suits filled a grand ballroom, while overhead four giant crystal chandeliers provided a steady golden white glow from their light crystals.

Soriya’s eyes were immediately drawn to the long rows of opulent food and drinks running the length of the arcades to either side of the grand ballroom, though my attention was on Allen as his eyes flashed over the party guests.

“Is she here yet?” I asked softly.

He shook his head. “No, thank goodness. Her father prefers her to make a grand entrance.” He pointed to the grand staircase at the far end of the ballroom. “Her family will almost assuredly enter from there, after a suitable announcement.”

“Do you still want us to call her Juliet?” I smiled at him.

He flinched, and muttered something then said “If you would be so good…” he paused, then added “It’s actually rather romantic, don’t you think? False names, escaping an oppressive family…?”

I shrugged slightly and then relented. “Actually… yes, it is kind of enjoyable.” I twirled in the ballgown, making the skirts float around me. “And you did buy us these nice clothes.”

Eshaan stepped up, clearing his throat. “Speaking of which… it seems a shame not to enjoy the party while we’re here. Miss Lilyanna, would you grant me the favor of a dance?” He held out his hand to me, and I heard Soriya give a quiet squeal of glee.

I flushed red. “Eshaan… I… I don’t know how to dance…” but even as I said it, I realized that wasn’t true. Otherme’s memories gave me drifting hints of dance steps and motion.

Then I blinked and looked at him in shock. “Wait, I thought you said you didn’t know how to dance?!”

Eshaan coughed. “Well. I figured I should probably learn. And I may have exaggerated my lack of ability. Besides, if you can’t I will be honored to teach you.” Eshaan said.

“I… um…” I stuttered, staring at his outstretched hand.

“Oh go on, Lily!” Soriya gave me a slight shove. “Dancing is fun, you’ll like it!”

I stumbled forward from Soriya’s push, and Eshaan’s hand in mine lightly guided me onto the dance floor.

What do I even do?! I thought with panic, but a faint whisper of otherme, not even a voice, guided my actions. That, and Eshaan’s gentle encouragement and directions.

“Sorry for being so selfish.” Eshaan apologized as we slowly moved our way around the edge of the dance floor. “I couldn’t pass up the chance.” He smiled at me.

“Where did you even learn to dance?” I asked. “I would have figured an imperial trooper didn’t attend many formal balls!”

He laughed as we swayed around the floor. “You’d be wrong then. Commander Khine…” his voice caught for a moment before he continued “Commander Khine taught all of us to dance. He had us practice with swords drawn.” He smiled in a slightly fond memory. “Balance, poise, coordination, and awareness of your physical surroundings…” He trailed off then shrugged. “Well, it lets me dance with you, so it’s not all bad, is it?”

I squirmed awkwardly. “Well it’s not something I’m really used to.” I said, glancing away.

“Really? You’re quite good at it.”

I flushed. “Stop it.”

“No, I’m serious, you’re quite good for someone who’s never danced at all before.”

I pulled away from him as we spun near one of the banquet tables. “Look, an obvious distraction!” I said, pulling him towards the food.

He blinked in confusion. “A what? Where?”

I stared at him, unsure if he was kidding or not. Surely he was not the brightest but…

I was saved from this awkward pause by Soriya’s voice. “Look, Lily! They have strawberry creams!”

Eshaan immediately perked up and headed over to where Soriya was exclaiming over the party food laid out on the tables.

I followed after with a slightly bemused air.

“Does anyone know where Allen is?” I asked as Eshaan and I reached Soriya.

“Oh, he’s here somewhere.” She said around a mouthful of pastry and cream. “I think he’s meeting up with Juliet.”

“Hm. That doesn’t seem very likely, she’s not been introduced yet. Actually… do you think they’ll introduce her by name?”

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

Soriya shook her head. “No, no, they’ll use some sort of fanciful title. Everyone who’s anyone is supposed to already know everyone here, and it’s all a grand pretense. Imagine! We’re some of the few genuine unknown mysteries at the party!”

“Does that mean we’ll have people watching us? That sounds troublesome.” Eshaan fretted.

I tapped my chin in thought. “I hadn’t even considered that…”

Soriya pushed a cream pastry into Eshaan and my mouth. “Less talk, more pastry!”

The pastry was shockingly good, so my worries were interrupted by the quiet sound of chewing and the sounds of the music and party from the main ballroom.

Once we’d swallowed, Soriya nodded in satisfaction and pointed at Eshaan. “So! You’re our expert! Trooper’s instinct, what’s the tactical evaluation?!”

Eshaan blinked and his expression grew strangely hard as he glanced around. I didn’t like how it made me feel, he was almost a different person with that look on his face.

“Exits there, there, and there.” He pointed around the room rapidly. “Exit points to the balcony and street if we can use the windows. The servants and food are coming from that exit there, which means that’s where the kitchen and servants quarters are, which means the cellar access is down that way as well.”

Soriya popped another pastry in her mouth, passing me another as she listened. They really were very good… I was grateful that I was a spellcaster so I didn’t have to feel so guilty about eating all this rich food!

Eshaan continued. “Guards at all the exits, very professional, very discreet. No swords, so they’re all likely brawlers. We’ll have to get past them before we can get anywhere. Going to be a problem if we have to leave with Juliet, since the guards will know who she is.” Eshaan took a drink. The hard look left his face and he immediately looked so much warmer and more personable. “At least, that’s my trooper’s opinion.”

I stared at him for a bit. “Wow.” I finally said. “That was…”

“Really cool!” Soriya enthused. “I feel like we’re a real group of thieves now!”

I coughed. “Can we not steal everything that’s not nailed down?”

Eshaan gave me a hurt look. “Lily, I haven’t taken a thing since I’ve been with you!”

I flushed. “Sorry Eshaan, I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t mean you at all.” I patted him on the arm. “You have been very respectful of my concerns.”

Soriya stuffed another pastry in her mouth. “We’re probably severely under treasured because of it to be honest.”

“We sold the pirate’s cutlass! That was worth a lot of money!”

Soriya nodded. “Yeah, that’s true.”

Allen chose that moment to reappear. “I’ve just talked with P-Juliet.”

Soriya shook her head. “You know, if we’re going to-“

I stopped her. “We’re going with code names. If they introduce themselves that’s not our business.”

Eshaan grinned. “Besides, it sounds cool!”

“Yes, and it sounds cool.” I agreed.

“Alright, so you talked with Juliet” Soriya said. “What’s the sitch?”

“I beg your pardon?” Allen blinked.

“She means the situation, is Juliet ready to leave, where and when, all that.” I said.

“Oh. Hm, indeed. I’d not heard that piece of adventurer slang before.” Allen mused. “The, ah, ‘sitch’ is that she’s required to put in an appearance, so we can’t just leave right away. She wasn’t happy with leaving everything behind, but it seems she’s been putting money aside as well.” Allen smiled proudly. “She wanted to leave as much as I did!”

“So when do we meet her?” Soriya asked.

“Ah well, not until the appointed arrival-”

Soriya raised a hand to cut him off. “Yes, I get that. I meant when does she show up, and how long will it be until we can escort her someplace quiet?”

“Oh! Yes of course, how foolish of me. I’m afraid I don’t know.” Allen looked around, and shrugged. “I am rather depending on your expertise on this matter.”

I shared a worried glance with Soriya. Eshaan stepped up. “Right, then the first thing is, how do we get past those guards. After that, we need a path to the cellar. After that, we need a path out of the cellar and into the sewers. I saw the grounds on our way in, they’re crawling with security. We go out the bottom, or we don’t go out at all.”

“If the cellar is quiet enough, we can just Gate from there.” I said.

Eshaan nodded. “Yes, good point. But we have our first objective. How do we get past the guards to the kitchen?”

Soriya grinned. “My favorite thing. A distraction!”

“Soriya no!” I grabbed her arm. “No explosions!”

Soriya raised an eyebrow. “Did you have a better idea?”

“Yes!” I stomped my foot in frustration. “One that doesn’t cause massive collateral damage and bring down the roof!”

Eshaan laughed. “More to the point, Miss Soriya… if you bring down the roof, or even fill the hall with fire, while it will certainly distract the guards, it will almost certainly block off our exit path. So, perhaps for now, a normal distraction must serve our purposes.”

Soriya gave an exaggerated sigh. “Fiiiine. He’s a man isn’t he? I’ll just flirt with him. That always works.” She grinned wickedly. “Though it leads to just as much destruction in the long run.” She pointed at me. “Then Lily slips away into the back room. If we can get servant’s clothes, it’ll go even quicker.”

“Right!” I nodded. “A great excuse to get out of this ballgown.” Though privately, I had to admit to a spike of disappointment. Still, nobody said I couldn’t keep the dress for later!

“Then there’s no time to waste.” Eshaan said. “Lily, you and Soriya go…” he flushed. “Um. Do.” He stopped again, then said “Miss Soriya, are you really ok with this?”

Soriya smiled broadly. “Oh Eshaan, you dear boy. You are so charming. A little light flirting harms nobody, and if the guard does get handsy, I’ll just {Flare} him. But you’re sweet to care.” She patted his cheek and beckoned me. “Come Lily, let us work feminine wiles on hapless males!”

I squirmed uncomfortably as I followed her. “This is not how I saw my day going.” I muttered to her under my breath. She ignored me grandly as we slipped towards the kitchen entrances. Soriya took a moment to fix her hair and make sure her makeup was good, then swished up to the guard, smiling vapidly.

The guard’s eyes locked onto her cleavage as she started to flirt outrageously, and I gave a sigh.

Well I suppose that’s only fair; she is very beautiful. If I was still a boy I’d be pretty interested. … I’m still pretty interested, honestly. I thought to myself as I quietly shifted behind the guard, and through the doorway.

The hallway beyond was empty, but I could smell the scent of the kitchen, and following my nose shortly was peering out into a bustling and busy room. So bustling and busy that I had to duck out of the way into a nearby room before two servants collided with me!

I glanced around the room, and gave a mental shrug. No servants’ clothes, but wandering around the kitchen in a ball gown would hardly be “low key!” I pushed the door closed, and jammed a mop under the handle, and then hurriedly changed into my village dress. Just in time too, as the door rattled loudly. I pulled the mop away, and the door swung open to reveal one of the security guards from the grand hall. I gave a sickly smile.

“Um. Hi?” I said.

The ugly smile on his face did not reassure me. “Hi.” He said, and grabbed my upper arm.

I was immediately hit with a surreal and very unpleasant sensation. It was a strange feeling, like suddenly being wrapped in a weighted blanket. Everything felt heavy and dull, and though I struggled, it felt like all the strength was draining out of my body. He pulled me out of the closet dragged me through several corridors.

I can’t believe it. I got captured again! I’m going to kill somebody!

We don’t kill if we can help it. But we don’t need to worry.

We don’t?! We’ve just been captured, and to top it off they were expecting us! What about our friends!

Our friends are exactly why we don’t need to worry. Eshaan will come for us.

You have been looking at entirely the wrong memories of ours. I grumbled mentally.

Maybe so, but that just means we know we’re right.

Opening a door, he shoved me roughly through. “Found one.” He announced to a small group of guards within. “Just like we thought, the Ghalagher’s sent some adventurers to stop us. Cut rate ones too.” He laughed. “Tie her up, and put her in the cellar to cool her heels. We’ll soon have the others.”

I was soon wrapped in rope, my hands tied and a gag stuffed into my mouth. The gag was clean enough, but the taste of my failure and self-loathing was worse than any dirty sock could be.

Stupid, stupid, why did I think-

We need to stop berating ourself. Now we’re in exactly the right position to help.

I boggled at my otherself. Excuse me?!

I was thrown into a dusty cellar near with racks of glass bottles, and the smell of wine.

“You’ll keep here. It’s a pity you can’t open a bottle, the Caitbre family have a marvelous wine cellar!” Mocking laughter. “But don’t you worry, we can have our own little party afterwards.” The door slammed closed, and I sagged against the stone wall.

And now we’re in the cellar. The wine cellar. With the escape route to the sewers. And our friends are enroute to us.

I gaped at myself. I wasn’t sure if this was genius, or idiocy. Or maybe both? But… otherme was right. This was the trope train! Maybe I could ride it?

I sat upright, and mumbled the words to {Lux} around my gag. It fizzled and popped, my mana dropping with each failed cast, before a slow and deliberate mumble, focusing more on the words in my mind than the sounds I could make finally popped the spell into place. The glow of the small orb of magic slowly brightened to a comfortable daylight, illuminating the cellar.

Ok otherme… I’m listening. Now what?

Now we find the exit. The sewer passage is down, right?

Of course, but what…

Otherme gently pushed her way forward and scootch shuffle hopped us over to a wine rack. Shortly, with a shattering crash, several bottles hit the floor, the liquid pooling and flowing into a small river.

Liquid flows down. Follow the stream. And while we’re at it, lets cut ourselves free on this glass.

My eyes widened in shock. How many times have we been kidnapped?!

Twice, so far. Pirates, and now noble security. But our memories are very clear. We can’t escape the forearm grip, but escaping on our own after we’re captured? That’s just standard heroine pluck.

I sat down and carefully grabbed one of the glass shards, and started cutting myself free, following the path of the wine as it trickled slowly towards a nearby wall. Sure enough, it formed into a square surrounding a depression, and below I heard the sound of dripping as the wine found its way to a deeper level.

I smiled grimly and redoubled my efforts to (carefully!) cut myself free of my bonds with the sharp edges of glass. I simply refused to be found bound and tied like a Needfest pig when my friends found me!

The sawing took a lot longer than I’d like, but I felt a surge of triumph as the first strands of the rope parted. This was followed by a sharp burning line of fire as my over eager hands cut themselves. I gritted my teeth on my gag and sucked in a breath, then carefully mumbled out an approximation of the healing spell. This time it only took two failed tries (my mana dipping still lower with each one) before I felt the {Heal} take hold, and the burning lines on my palms faded into nothing.

Right. Careful. Slow and steady. Hurry gets us out of mana.

I fumbled the shard of glass back into my hands and resumed slowly sawing. A short moment later, I was rewarded with the feeling of play appearing in my wrists, then more and more as the rope dissolved into individual strands and then snapped. With more freedom in my hands, the process went faster and faster until I was finally able to wiggle out of the coil of rope wrapped around my arms and torso, yanking out the detested gag and hurling it across the room with a vengeance.

I let out a little shout of triumph, then hurriedly covered my mouth with my hands. However, no one came to examine the sudden noise from the ‘gagged’ girl locked safely in the cellar. I hurried over to the door, and checked it. Alas, it was securely locked from the outside.

I suppose that makes sense, it’s a wine cellar, you wouldn’t want the servants helping themselves… I thought. I frowned and turned back to the square in the floor outlined by the slowly vanishing puddle of wine.

Let’s see… if I were a hidden trapdoor, where would my entrance be…?

A few careful probes and some prying with glass shards and I slowly levered up a cunningly disguised trap door. I gagged as the waft of sewer greeted my nose and took several deep breaths through my mouth.

“Gods I hate sewers! This is the worst part of being a heroine!” I nodded to myself, and then, holding my nose, stuck my head down into the hole, my little light orb shedding its glow.

Iron staples sunk into the corners of the shaft and a stone landing smeared with brown and green, with a trickle of fetid water-

And wine I suppose?

-greeted my eyes.

I sat back on my heels and nodded. “Alright, escape route sorted. I hope the rest of them are doing ok!”

I fretted for what felt like an achingly slow eternity, pacing back and forth, and chewing on my lower lip, trying to figure out how I could get out of the cellar. I was on the verge of using one of the wine bottles as a punch lever to hammer the pins out of the door hinges, when I heard a familiar and very welcome sound.

BOOM!

I grinned. “Well, there’s Soriya.” Three more explosions in short order each one closer than the last, made me sigh and shake my head. “That’s definitely Soriya.”

Sure enough, the sound of spellcasting and the clash of steel on steel rapidly approached my cell, followed by Eshaan calling out “Lily! Lily where are you!?” frantically.

“Here! I’m here Eshaan!” I pounded on the door.

“Locked. Keys?” I heard Allen say, followed by a female voice I didn’t recognize. “Devdan, why on earth would I have the wine cellar keys?!”

“I don’t know, Priya! Because I told you we’d be escaping this way!?”

“Both of you stand back! Lily, get away from the door!” Soriya shouted. I knew what was coming next.

Sure enough, the explosion tore the door off its hinges, and blew the splinters towards the far wall.

Eshaan dashed inside and caught me up in a tight hug. “Lily! Thank goodness you’re ok!”

I flushed, and then hugged him back quickly before pushing back. “I’m very glad you found me, but we should get going.” I pointed to the trap door in the cellar floor.

He stared in surprise, then nodded. “So I was right! It was part of your plan to get captured!” He laughed in triumph and pointed at Soriya. “You see?! You owe me 100 zeni!”

Soriya grinned and tipped her head to the side. “Alright, that’s fair. But-“

“Yes, yes.” Eshaan turned and clambered into the open pit on the floor. “Come on, everyone! Let’s go!” He vanished down the ladder and into the sewers below.

We followed, Soriya and ‘Juliet’ bemoaning the state of their dresses as we hit the bottom. I went last, easing the trap door closed above me, and pulling it tightly down as we went, leaving an empty room behind.