It felt good. It felt right. I was angry in a way I’d never felt before, it was an almost incandescent rage, and yet I felt myself floating in a crystal bubble of white-hot fury, buoyed by it, floating in it, yet disconnected from it, my thoughts moving in brilliant clarity.

The first battle was almost an anticlimax. We’d worked through our strategy beforehand this time, Soriya’s {Loremaster} letting us know what their weaknesses were. A lobbed bag of poison powder, and the pixies were coughing and hacking, swirling in circles and turning a virulent shade of green. One of them dove at us, but missed badly, weaving crazily in midair and then crashing into the bushes behind us, where we heard the loud sounds of puking. Precision shots from Diaboli, and another of my {Orator} skills, {Encourage} boosted Soriya’s attacks to lethal effectiveness. It was odd, floating in that crystal bubble to hear my sweet high voice giving such a perky optimistic speech about faith and trust and my confidence in her… but it felt really good, too. I was being effective. I was contributing!

A single strike from the elemental crystals, targeting the pixie’s vulnerability and they dropped to the ground, one after the other exploding into wisps of stray mana in brightly colored streamers of light. With each death, I felt a little more myself, a little more grounded, a little less… crazy.

There were several more packs roving the vineyard, but with our strategy worked out, they were all just as quickly dispatched and dealt with. We were both exhausted, feeling our mental energy flagging when we finally reached the back of the garden. We’d burned through all our elemental crystals, every last one of mother’s healing and mana potions, my staff was smeared with purple pixie blood, and I was filthy with soot from pixie detonations, but there were no more pixies left in the vineyard. We were triumphant.

“So… I guess…” I panted out “This is what it feels like… to be out of mana?”

Soriya nodded, wiping sweat off her forehead. “Feels a lot… more physical… than I was expecting.” She agreed.

I sank down to the ground, letting my calves splay to either side of my hips. “We did it.” I was too exhausted to cheer, but inside, I was cheering wildly. The world felt… good again. Light again. Things were possible again. Whatever that strange effect on my mind was, it was gone. I felt like me again.

It’s so good to be back otherme agreed. I noted with amusement that even my internal voice sounded exhausted.

We sat there for a bit, regaining our breath, and then I slowly got up. “I need a bath. Or twenty.” I sniffed at myself. “Sprits, I’m sticky and I smell. I thought girls were supposed to smell like lilac’s and sandalwood, and glisten like morning dew.”

Soriya burst out laughing. “Ok, now I believe you were a boy. We’re just as human as everyone else, and that means sticky, sweaty, and smelly after a dirty job. So a bath sounds like a wonderful idea! And afterwords… oh yes! Ice cream and tarts!”

“Oh! There’s… well yes of course there is, it’s a jrpg town. You know, I’ve never been to a public bath before!”

Soriya blinked in surprise. “You haven’t? But why not, there’s one in every town.”

I stared at her. “What? I’ve never seen one.”

Soriya looked at me for a long moment, her face scrunched up in puzzlement. “What-” She suddenly burst out “Are you an American?!”

I stared at her in shock. “Aren’t you?!” I found myself answering dumbly.

Soriya started laughing so hard she started to cry. I’d never actually thought that was a thing real people did, but there she was, doubled over, leaning against the vineyard fence, tears running down the soot on her cheeks and laughing.

And that was how Farmer Wither found us, me staring at Soriya in consternation while she laughed helplessly.

He scowled at us, but his body language belied the sour look and his tone as he said “Well good! You girls were late, and I told you I’d come after you if you weren’t back!” He glanced around hands on hips, then took his pipe out of mouth and nodded. “Alright. I can see you’ve done hard work here. Not a single pixie left in my fields at all, just like you promised. So you’ve done me a good turn and I can’t deny it!” he looked us up and down. “And spirits preserve me, you’re filthy! So you get on down to the bathhouse, you tell Ms. Marle that your baths are on me. Go on, get!” he made shooing motions.

I gave Soriya an uncertain glance. She was still grinning ear and ear and giggling. I glanced back at Old Man Wither, but he seemed to have completely forgotten us, examining some small patch of the ground and muttering to himself. I shrugged and grabbed Soriya’s hand.

“Come on. You can explain what’s so funny at the baths.”

She nodded, and together we headed out of the fields and back towards town. I paused uncertainly as I got to the farm entrance, but a whisper of knowledge that I’d ‘always’ had, and I was soon trotting down a new/old path. The bathhouse was on a rise at the opposite end of the town from my house, and, it turned out, much closer to Soriya’s house. I couldn’t see it from here, but my ‘memory’ sketched in the details of a witches’ cottage nestled in the branches of a vast tree standing alone in a field. I had often gone over to her house to play, it seemed. I shook my head.

“I’m starting to understand how you must have felt when you tried to come visit me.” I said to Soriya, breaking the silence as we approached the bathhouse, its chimneys steaming in the afternoon light.

“Hm? What’s this about?”

I gestured down the dirt road leading to her house. “Your house. We used to go and play there all the time. And yet I’ve never been there, or even imagined anything quite like it. It’s like an echo of a memory, a phantom gap. I wonder if this is what people who have missing limbs feel sometimes?”

Soriya put her finger on her chin and tipped her head to the side. “I suppose it must be, really. A bit odd to think of it like that, but it’s like a phantom limb in reverse. The thing we remember is there and real, but we’ve never had it. It would be like new arm or a third eye I think.”

“I suppose it’s a good thing… I’d still be stumbling around and there would be like… a dexterity penalty or something for walking in my boots. And yet I don’t have any problems. It’s just… normal.”

Soriya glanced over at me. “Is it bad?”

I grimaced. “I don’t really like the reminder, so most of the time I’ve been avoiding thinking about it.” I replied honestly.

“We could try to cut the heels off? Or I bet that Benard would be willing to make you new boots too.”

I considered it. “Otherme doesn’t like that idea much, and it doesn’t seem to actually cause any problems. We just fought our way through a vineyard of pixies, so it’s clear that I’m not exactly impaired by them.” I looked down at myself, and sighed. “And the bigger issue is that really… changing the heel of my shoe doesn’t change any of this.” I gestured at my body.

Soriya was silent for a moment, then said “You know, we’re going to a bathhouse. I feel like this world is treating you unfairly, throwing you shock after shock, but… it’s your body, at least until you can get home. Maybe it would be a good idea to at least get to know it? The little Lilyanna in your head probably can help?”

I grimaced even harder. “That hadn’t even occurred to me! Of course I’ll need to take off my clothes to take a bath. And it’s not like I’m going to stop getting sweaty all of a sudden.”

Soriya nodded. “You know… If you ask your otherself to help, I think she’d be able too?”

I glanced over at Soriya curiously. “How do you mean?”

“I mean this otheryou remembers living as a girl for all 17 years. If you ask to borrow some of her, it might ease… I think that’s what you’ve been doing, actually. Borrowing her skill to deal with it all. If you deliberately asked, it might get easier?”

I stopped, stunned. I could feel otherme’s interest inside my mind, an inquisitive ‘offer’ already reaching out.

I swallowed. “I’m not sure I like that idea! What if she… what if I… I don’t want to lose myself just because I don’t like walking in heels!”

Soriya laughed. “Come on. You’ve been living with her for a full day now. Do you think she would ever force something on someone? Or make them keep it if they didn’t want it? Think of it like… yeah, exactly like! It’s exactly like that cream you made for me. Remember when I stumbled into the itchvine patch last summer!?”

I blinked, otherme’s memory of that coming back to me. “Well. I do now?” I offered her a nervous laugh.

Soriya looked briefly disconcerted. “Oh. Yeah, right. Sorry. But the point is! It’s like that cream! It soothed the burn and the itch and discomfort! I still knew I was uncomfortable, but it was like… a barely even there discomfort. A ‘things are healing now’ discomfort, instead of the desperate desire to scratch until my skin was bloody. You know? I think it might be worth a try! It’s an ointment to ease discomfort, not a…” she shook her head. “I like this Lilyanna. The one who isn’t painfully clueless about everything! Don’t turn into her! There’s a reason it’s you here, and not her!”

I thought about it, and a little smile tugged at my lips, and I giggled. “When did you learn {Persuade}?”

“What? I didn’t-”

I laughed. “No, I know you don’t have that skill. But that was a really good argument. Worth a persuade.” I nodded. “I’ll try it.”

I closed my eyes, and reached out to the mental ‘hand’ that otherme was holding out. A doubling of vision swept over me, the sense of being two people at once, a vision of Lilyanna standing in front of me, and then a soothing numbness that spread through my mind. A burning itch that had become normal background suddenly replaced by a faint tingle, and it felt so good. So very good. It was like having a tense muscle suddenly relax, like a stabbing pain that had become numb. I let out a long sigh of blissful relief, and opened my eyes to Soriya’s concerned face.

“It worked?” She asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. I think so. Let’s get a bath and test it.”

We headed into the bathhouse, and were greeted by Ms. Marle. She exclaimed over the mess we’d made of ourselves, and nodded when we explained about the pixies, then shooed us into the girl’s bath without a further word. I stood there, looking at the lockers for a moment, gritting my teeth. I looked over at Soriya, and then felt the heat of my blush as I saw her naked backside.

“Um. Soriya!?” I said, focusing intensely on the lockers in front of me. “Is this really such a good idea?! I… I didn’t think we’d be bathing together!”

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“Give it a try.” She said from behind me. “You’re a grown up, you can make your own choices. If it doesn’t work out, there are private baths. But they’re more expensive, and we are filthy.”

Like yanking a bandaid off. I thought, and started pulling at my clothes. It was embarrassing to think about Soriya naked behind me, and the fact that I was going to be naked in front of her!? I’d been such a prude in my bedroom not three hours ago!

Don’t think about it like that. Here. Like this. My otherself offered, and suddenly… it was easy. It was a revelation. I kept expecting the pain of ‘wrongness’ to return at any moment, to be painfully reminded that I was a gorgeous anime girl, but somehow I was standing naked in the changing room, my soiled robes in the wooden basket in front of me, and I hadn’t once felt that pain of ‘wrong’. It was just… me. Like a tingling numbness recognizing that I certainly hadn’t been born this way, but it wasn’t wrong any longer.

I turned around to find Soriya was grinning at me, completely naked.

Wow. What a view! Went through my head, followed by I’m glad I’m not a boy right now. Things would get so awkward!

“Looks like it worked!” She said almost proudly. “Come on, I’ll show the funny foreigner how baths work!”

She grabbed me by the hand and laughingly pulled me into a large room filled with small stools and steaming buckets, and the smell of soap. I blinked at small wisps of steam drifting up, and then gasped when I realized that there were small glowing red and blue crystals heaped into a pile nearby. Elemental stones… oh that’s how they have heated water! Brilliant! I giggled and found myself clapping my hands. “Oh it’s magitech! A magitech bathhouse! A fantasy magitech bathhouse!”

Soriya grinned at me. “Attagirl. I knew you’d like this. Come on, the best part is the soap!”

“So, sit down on the stool, then you pick up one of the bath tubs.” Soriya demonstrated by picking up one of the small buckets. “Blue crystal is water, red is fire. Best mix is 2 blue and 1 red, but I don’t know how hot you like your water.” She plonked 6 crystals into the tub and gave them a gentle shake, causing them to break and discharge their elemental affinity. A flare of fire and water hitting each other and she was holding a steaming tub of water in her hands.

It was strange. Once she mentioned it, it was obvious what had to be done and I was a touch irritated she was repeating common knowledge. But until she said it, I hadn’t the faintest clue what any of this was for!

“Then, you drop the bucket over your head like this.” She poured the bucket of steaming water over head.

I nodded and reached hesitantly for the crystals, unsure how many red crystals to use.

We like a ratio of 2 red to 5 blue.

We do!?

A soft mental giggle. We do. Our skin is more sensitive than Soriya’s.

I picked up the selected crystals and followed Soriya’s example, pouring the resulting steaming hot water over my head. The water stung, just below the border of pain, stinging hot but in a good way.

“Good!” Said Soriya. “Now you do that again, and pour one of these bath salt pouches here into the mix! Then scrub!” she paused. “You have showers in America, right?”

I scowled at her. “Yes! We’re not barbarians! Where are you from that you don’t know this?”

She dumped foaming bucket of water over her head that smelled of flowers and herbs. “South Korea.” She said, as she started to rub the suds over her body.

“Really?! Then how can…”

She grinned. “We understand each other? You can cast magic in a world that has a System and you’re asking that?”

“Ok, fair point.” I followed her example again, sniffing at the various soaps. They all smelled absurdly floral. Otherme had very clear ideas about which one she wanted, but I put a hard stop on that, picking the one that smelled the least like an explosion in a potpourri shop. The stinging hot water felt really good, and the mild floral scent really wasn’t that offensive. And it felt so good to scrub off the pixie soot, mud, and sweat of the day. I could feel my muscles unwinding as I rubbed the foaming lather over myself. And best of all, I didn’t feel like a combination pervert and prisoner scrubbing a 17-year-old girl’s skin.

“So how did you figure I was an American?”

Soriya shrugged, pouring clean water over herself to rinse. “Pretty easy. Americans are nice enough people, but you think the world revolves around you. So any place that has a custom that’s not American is some weird surreal land to you. It’s a fairly easy tell when you know what to look for.”

I thought about this as I rinsed myself off. “So… Americans are jerks?”

Soriya shook her head, standing up to wind her indigo blue hair into a bun. “I didn’t say that. You’re just… well you’re a bit thoughtless that’s all. And now that you’re here, you can learn how we do things. There are plenty of things in this world that don’t make any sense to original me at all. I think this world is like… a nexus point. A blending of lots of different ideas. Some bad, some good, and some just different.” Her voice was thoughtful as she expounded. “Well that’s for later, if I ever write my monograph. Here” She picked up several small towels. “Hold them like this.” She demonstrated, holding the towel over her privates.

It was strange, but I was oddly relieved to have something to cover my lower region with, even though I was mostly fine with… well I was naked from the waist up! But so was Soriya and she wasn’t having any problems!

“Now don’t let the towel drop in the water, and don’t dunk your head below the water either. It’s considered unsanitary.”

I blinked in surprise, something coming together in my head. “Oh is that why everyone wears the towel on their head in anime?!”

Soriya giggled. “Yes, that’s right. What did you think it was?”

“I dunno…? Some way to keep your head warm? A hair washing thing? Ice cubes wrapped in cloth to keep your head cool in a hot spring?” Soriya led the way out of the bath room and out onto a large the large stone terrace surrounding a steaming pool that smelled faintly of minerals and herbs.

“So people watch anime in South Korea?”

Soriya looked back and rolled her eyes. “Yes, we even eat food too!”

I winced. “Ok, I guess I deserved that. You just seem… awfully American yourself.”

She shrugged. “American culture is global, and frankly Hollywood makes some very cool movies. Some of our culture makes its way back to you, it’s a circle.” She paused by the edge of the pool. “Now you climb down in here.” She gestured to the pool.

Really! I might be an uncouth foreigner but I knew how to swim! “I’m not a child, you know!” I protested. “And Lilyanna has been here lots of times! I know what a bathing pool is!”

“Less justification, more swimming!” Soriya shoved me from behind, pushing me into the pool.

I let out a very stereotypical “Kyaaah!” and fell face first into the pool with a huge splash.

I surfaced, spluttering, only to be swamped by another wave as Soriya jumped in behind me.

She popped up grinning next to me.

“What happened to don’t put your head under water?!” I protested.

“I said some things were different here.”

I scowled at her, and suddenly felt an irresistible urge, both halves of me moving before I even realized it, splashing her with a double handful of water. She let out a shriek of surprise, and very shortly we were engaged in a close-range splash fight. It was intensely enjoyable, in a silly childish way and we both lost our towels in the pool before we were done, and had to go fish them out from the bottom. It was, self evidentially not all that much of a taboo to drop your towel or put your head under water… and I couldn’t leave the towel in the pool!

We lounged in the hot water, which was stinging hot to my bare skin, and I could see my skin turning a pale pink very quickly, almost as bright as my hair. It was a strange feeling to be living the hot springs scene from every jrpg anime ever. The water did feel really good though. I sighed and leaned my head on the stone rim.

“You were right. This is really nice. I could definitely get used to this.” I let myself drift, feeling infinitely content for the first time in a long while.

The voice of the world soul echoed softly in my head. Rank up. {Orator} For coming to terms with yourself and for speaking your convictions from your heart, you have unlocked {Orator: 3}

I let out a mental sigh. Apparently, there is no rest for the wicked. At least it’s not another adventurer level like {Spiritist}. I splashed at the water. “Not a bad for payment for pixie murder.” I said.

Soriya murmured agreement, unaware of my rank up. “Yeah. Though honestly, I’m just glad to see you back to normal. You scared me a little with how intense you were.”

“Mm. I scared myself a bit. I guess it really was a status effect? Or maybe I just… didn’t like being reminded of being useless.”

“Well I hope you’ve driven that silly idea out of your head! We made a good team!” She perked up. “Hey! We should team up to do the cavern of trials together!”

“Is that…?” faint misty memories ghosted into my mind. No, it was not disallowed, and even encouraged in certain cases. I opened my mouth to agree, and then stopped. “Hang on. Cavern of Trials!” I splashed upright. “That’s the excuse to get us away from Breezewood! Something terrible will happen to Breezewood if we go!”

Soriya put her finger to her chin in thought. “You’re right. That is the usual flag.”

“Well then that’s settled. We can’t go to the cavern!”

“Well, maybe… but everyone is expecting us to? What will we tell them? Plus, if we stay here, won’t we just get massacred with the town?”

“You’re saying the world is going to force us too? That we can’t avoid it?” I scowled. “I won’t accept that! How can you be calm about this?! Our home is about to get torched!”

She splashed at the top of the pool, looking pensive. “I’m not calm, actually. But our trial is 5 days off, and we have time. Remember? We don’t have to carry the idiot ball. I’m just concerned that we’ll be forced to go the cave somehow, the same way I couldn’t come visit you, before you ‘arrived’.”

I paused, then nodded. I forced myself to sink back on the underwater bench and relax. I was letting Lilyanna’s heart and my own panic run away with me again. “You’re right. We don’t. Ok. So, we know we’re not going to the cavern of trials, that’s obvious. It’s a good thing too, I don’t want to have to deal with the spiky haired hero boy! So what’s our next move?”

Soriya splashed out of the pool. “I think better on a full stomach!” She announced. “Let’s go get tarts and ice cream!”

I sighed and smiled. “My best friend, the insatiable. It’s a good thing you cast so much magic!”

“You’ll need to eat more too, now that you’re casting spells!”

I shook my head, but I felt a sort of giddy glee building inside me. If magic increases my metabolism… I really can eat all the food I want without guilt! I grinned as I splashed out of the pool after Soriya. Finally! Things were looking up!

The baths provided robes for us to wear since our robes were being cleaned. We rented a small room to the side where we ordered a truly impressive amount of fruit tarts, barely alcoholic fruit juices, and ice cream. I could really get used to this full-service idyllic fantasy life!

“I’m surprised they let teens drink” I commented as I sipped gingerly at the fizzy drink.

“I’m not going to question it.” Soriya responded. “Besides, it’s barely alcoholic!”

“Were you one of those hard drinking anime girls?”

Rude! Otherme whispered in our mind.

Soriya laughed and mimed throwing an ice cream spoon at me. “You mind your own business, missy.” I felt myself blushing. She was right, that had been a bit rude.

“Sorry. Chalk it up to clueless American.”

Soriya nodded, making a royal gesture with her spoon. “It is forgotten, my truest companion!”

I stuck my tongue out at her. “Watch it! I could still refuse to bake the blueberry lemon tarts!”

Soriya mimed being stricken by a blow. “The cruelest cut! Betrayed by my friend! And after she had given her word!”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, yes, we’ve established I’m a terrible woman.” I pointed my spoon at her. “I haven’t seen any hints of a break anywhere, did you? I haven’t felt any trace or hint of that… whatever it was, when… back then.”

Soriya’s expression immediately grew darker, and she nodded grimly, chewing on a tart with grave concentration.

“It should have shown up too. It was a big one. But I didn’t see anything, and you didn’t have any problems interacting with the world. I’m pretty sure we’d have noticed in the high intensity of the pixie combat.”

“Maybe it was my obsession with the pixies?”

“No, that doesn’t fit, it didn’t match up with your declaration.” She worried at her lower lip for a bit, then shook her head. “Well, for right now, it hasn’t caused us any problems. We’ll just have to keep a sharp eye out. A break has always shown up. I just don’t understand why it’s waiting for so long.”

I chewed my lower lip. “This is worse than a Sword of Damocles. Does anyone else ever bend the world?”

“I’ve never seen anyone do it, but they’re aware of it. Everett cautioned me about it when I made Diaboli actually.”

“Hm. I asked Ms. Buxby to give me directions without details, just before I met you. That same tension showed up, but she added all the details before it snapped, saying it ‘felt wrong’. I guess in hindsight, we know why that is.”

“Mm… not really? I mean, it’s functionally the snap back of the world soul attempting to correct the morphogenic field, which is only a component of the hyperreality the world soul imposes-”

I held up my hand. “Soriya, please. Spare my poor naive brain? You can win the Nobel prize in magi-technology later. Does this world even have a Nobel prize?”

Otherme whispered in my mind, as the same time Soriya said enthusiastically “Yes! It’s the Imperial Scholar’s Competition! It’s held at the Royal Academy in Spyre!”

“Capital city of the empire, huh? Hm.” I paused. “Um. You don’t suppose…?”

“What?”

“Well… usually when you hear of an important competition like that in a game…”

Her eyes widened and she laughed in surprise. “Oh my gosh, you’re right! And the timing is perfect too! It’s every ten years, and the competition is in 3 months!”

I frowned. “I really don’t want to be anywhere near that, it sounds like the main plot line.”

“I wonder if I would trigger any flags if I went myself?” Soriya mused. “I’ll be 18 before the entrance, surely that’s old enough to enter on my own?”

I pushed down hard as my otherself squealed in excitement. Oh we must go cheer her on and help her!

Ok, one. No. Two. No honeysuckle way. We are not playing the heroine of the story! We are staying far away from the death flags! Sullen defiant pouting from my mind.

Soriya crammed another entire tart into her mouth, and mumbled around the crumbs “You know, it really is unfair that the town gets blown up. Depriving the world of these tarts is a sin!”

I leaned forward and wiped at her mouth. “Don’t cram your mouth so full. You’re going to choke if you keep doing that.” I sat back and put down my spoon thoughtfully. “But you know… maybe… maybe we should do something about that, yeah?”