“And yet, here we are alive and well. We at least owe the Goddess thanks for a second chance.” She looked over at Daniyel, then back to me. “And maybe more.”

I looked down at my hands, feeling a little disconcerted. I still hadn’t… quite… accepted this. But it was nice to have an adventure, even if it made me think of the advice of Bilbo. ‘Nasty uncomfortable things, make one late for dinner.’

“Alright, well so our spells aren’t as destructive?” I said curiously. “What’s your idea?”

“I’m not entirely sure yet, it’s still forming. But it has something to do with how the System functions. I’ve been thinking, when we leave, we should try and head to the Dwarven city. We owe it to our Monan engineer anyway, and if I’m right… we could learn a little more about the System from them. They were the race of nonhumans who sided with the Goddess.”

I frowned at her. “I thought we were going to try and use a ritual to point the way to the next Arcanum?”

“Well yes, that too, but we promised Eideth, didn’t we? And I’m pretty sure that no matter where we are, there’s an Arcanum nearby to scoop up.”

“Hm. Well. For now… I guess it’s as good a plan as any.”

Soriya tipped her head to the side. “Camaxtli really rattled you, didn’t he?”

I frowned, then nodded. “He did. I’m not… really sure why I’m doing this! Am I… just as trapped as Deacon?!”

“Do you feel trapped?”

“No, but that’s the point! Deacon didn’t feel trapped!”

“No, I mean more generally. Do you want to have this adventure?”

I scowled. “No, to be honest. I want to go home and cook and gather apples and… and do normal things! This is fun but it’s also scary and has ouch and if we don’t stop Deacon then… well I just don’t think it’ll be good for anyone.” I paused, then turned to her, looking her in the eyes. “Soriya… you don’t think the System is… evil… do you?”

Soriya spread her hands. “Like any grand project or knowledge, I don’t think you can really judge that. I’m fairly sure that it wasn’t created to be evil. But then I don’t think the Church started off as evil either.” She paused, then continued more slowly. “Though I do wonder about this one.”

She shook off the thought. “Regardless, no I don’t think the System is evil. But it does seem to have curtailed natural progression and change. Maybe what it needs is the ability to be added to. Maybe what it needs is to cease existing. Big questions for someone who just wants to go home and pick apples.”

I glared at her. “Even for a witch, not helpful.” I snapped.

Soriya frowned, then said “A witch’s job is to ask uncomfortable questions and make the hero-” She paused and smiled. “Or heroine… think. I’m doing that.”

I pointed a finger at her angrily. “But you are a heroine as well!”

Soriya looked uncomfortable and glanced away.

“Don’t put all this on me.” I continued. “You have to make a choice too. Or are you really going to trust the word of a sweetness and light candy hearted healer?”

Soriya burst out laughing. “Lily, dear, of ­course I would trust you! That’s kind of the point really. We’re all here because we trust you, and your judgement!”

I stomped my foot angrily. “… Honeysuckle meadowlark! What’s even the point of that?! Think for yourselves! Don’t…” my voice trailed off to a half whisper as I crossed my arms and looked down. “Don’t put this on me.”

Soriya reached out and pulled me into a hug. I resisted for a moment, then returned it little angrily.

Soriya pulled back. “You are so like my son.” She said, brushing a lock of my hair out of my eyes gently. “He didn’t want responsibility either. So I’ll tell you what I told him. Not everyone putting their trust in you is doing so because they want the easy way out. Most of them are doing it because in their experience, you make the right choices.”

I frowned, hearing an uncomfortable echo of Eshaan’s proclamations to me back in the Tol Jaegren mountains. Soriya gave me a squeeze and then let me go. “And so when I make a choice that’s not yours, I’ll let you know. Your {Persuade} is powerful, but it’s not mind control. I’d ask you to have faith in yourself, but that’s probably a bit much.”

I snorted a bitter laugh. “Yeah. A bit.”

“Ask the others, if you’re so unsure.” She turned and left, leaving me alone with some uncomfortable thoughts.

Over the next several days, as the Sparrowhawk started to take shape in the hangar floor, I sought out each of the others and asked them about it. The first one I managed to tag of course, was Eshaan. We were watching the robot drones assemble something deep inside the body while we stood on the catwalk overhead.

“Eshaan, can I ask…?”

“What is it, Lily? You have such a serious expression on your face, you’re scaring me!”

I scowled. “It’s not like that. I just… I’m off doing all this and you’re following along and… I worry that maybe I’m doing it all wrong! Do you even really want to be here?”

Eshaan laughed. “I think we’ve already had this conversation!” He smiled broadly. “Yes, Lilyanna. I still trust you. Yes, I’m still aware that I need to be my own person, and shouldn’t depend on you. But if you want me to stop relying on you, you’ll have to stop being so dependable all the time.”

He stretched and looked down. “But you know. I seem to recall you were absent for a considerable while not too long ago, and yet, we organized a plan all on our own, and then spent a lot of effort to get you back. It wasn’t even really in doubt.” He turned to me. “We didn’t do that because we’d be lost without you, or because we needed to know what to do next.”

He suddenly grinned mischievously. “And we didn’t do it because we’d be lost without your blinding beauty!” He sobered and went on before I could even blush at the flattery. “We did that because you’re our friend, and we want to help.” His voice was filled with sincerity, a firm conviction that I honestly envied.

Have I ever been that sure about anything in my life? I thought.

Eshaan smiled. “I’d honestly be more concerned with Miss Soriya, she’s a little spooky.”

I laughed, and placed my hand over his. “Thanks Eshaan. Soriya was the one who told me to go ask everyone else.”

Eshaan blinked and looked at me in surprise. “She did?! Huh. Maybe I’ve misjudged her then.” He said pensively.

“I have a proposal for you.” He said with sudden energy, turning to me and squeezing my hand. “If I think you’re doing the wrong thing, I’ll tell you. But! In exchange, you have to tell me when you think I’m doing the wrong thing. How about that? We keep an eye on each other.”

I tipped my head to the side and smiled. “I think I can do that.”

“Good!” he said. “Because I have to tell you, I wouldn’t have done what you did at all! I would have gone right for that Deacon fellow, and challenged him to a duel!” He laughed. “Boy, that would have gotten us all thrown out of Spyre real quick, huh!?”

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

I blinked. “You… you really would have just… charged right in?”

“Well yeah! That’s just who I am! Your way is a lot smarter. I think it’s pretty clear we can’t beat him in a one on one battle, at least until we get him alone, and if he’s hanging out at the palace, then Lakshmi’s dad would probably get pretty mad, and the royal guards are nothing to sneeze at-”

“Eshaan!” I said, horrified. “You’re discussing planning a murder?!”

Eshaan blinked. “Well… yeah? He’s a bad man. We need to kill him, right? You did try talking to him, I’m sure, and he can only have refused! Plus, he’s like… a break in the System, formed from that strange test near your village.” He looked at me with a puzzled frown. “Why are you acting so strange about this?”

I squirmed, uncomfortably. “I’m not… I don’t… the idea of just… it would be one thing if we had to fight him to stop his plan, and he fought to the death. But it’s really completely another to discuss an assassination plan!”

Eshaan frowned. “But… how else are we going to get him alone? Or have I misunderstood, are you really planning on charging in the front door and fighting through all the guards?”

I let out a long sigh. “Let’s just… shelve that for now. I…” It came together in a sudden rush. “My plan, such as it can be called… is to gather up the Arcanum, and then find the System control. I’m pretty sure if we do that, that Deacon will have to come to us. And even if he doesn’t, we can find out what that Shadow thing is, and maybe just… turn it off? That will shut down Deacon, and we don’t even have to fight!”

Eshaan frowned, rubbing his chin. “I’m pretty sure we’re going to have to fight, no matter what we do. If not Deacon, then somebody pretty important. But still, it sounds like a great plan. And much better than charging into the palace! We’ll gather up your Arcanum, and then we’ll find the door to the System.” He reached over and hugged me. “Do you feel better, now that you’ve talked about it?”

I thought about it, and slowly realized the strangest thing. I did feel better about it! “You know…” I said slowly. “I think I do! Thank you, Eshaan!”

“No problem! You can rely on me, Lily!” He slapped his chest.

“I know.” I said. “Now, I’m going to see what the others say. Somehow, I don’t feel right unless we discuss this.”

Eshaan grinned. “That’s why I know you’re a good leader.” He said. “You care.”

I flushed, and hurried down the catwalk.

The next up was Daniyel. I was a little surprised by this, he was so often so close to Lakshmi, it would seem impossible to separate the two.

He received me with his usual stoic grace. “Miss Lilyanna. You seem to have something on your mind. What can I assist you with?”

I bobbed my head to him. “Yes. I’m… looking for… well I suppose ‘approval’.”

Daniyel raised his eyebrows. “That is not something that is commonly requested in an open fashion. Concerning what matter?”

“Well, I… I want to be sure that I’m… doing the right thing, I suppose. That you’re… ok with it, I guess. That I’m not dragging you along on a task you don’t want.”

“Hm. I suppose you are of an age when such a thing might concern you, though it speaks well to your concern for others.”

I felt a little jerk of surprise. That’s right, he thinks I’m seventeen. Well… I suppose in a lot of ways I am seventeen… but that’s not this!

“Thank you, but I just… this whole adventure-”

Daniyel held up a hand to stop me. “Let me be clear then. I follow the princess. I give her such advice as she might listen to, and try to slip some pieces past her defenses otherwise. But she is following you. I am not following you; I am following her.” He paused, then went on. “But for what values the sands might give you, I suppose I can vouch this. Your quest seems a good one, and you pursue it with the fiery heart that any warrior would be proud of.”

“Thanks… I think?” I said doubtfully.

Daniyel nodded. “You are welcome. It is praise. You are welcome to take it as such.”

Lakshmi was a lot harder to pin down. While I was trying to get her attention without receiving flash burns from the ‘improvements’ she was making to the Sparrowhawk, Camaxtli approached me.

“Greetings. You appear to be in some mental distress.” He said. “May I be of assistance?”

I turned to him, blinking a few times in surprise. “I do? I mean… I am, but… how could you tell?!”

Camaxtli said calmly “Dilation of pupils, rapid pulse rate, and repeated interactions with your fellow members. If it is of any assistance, I assure you that my drones and I mean you no harm, and fully intend to pull weight during our joint expedition.”

I coughed a laugh, feeling relief that apparently, he couldn’t read minds as well!

“I have amused you? Please explain.” He said.

So I did. After finishing, Camaxtli was silent for a long while, his eyes flickering with thought. He came alert and resumed the conversation as though he’d never been absent.

“This is an unexpected event. Do you not have clear directives to follow? Is there not an obvious course of action, which has been clearly laid out? Why do you question the results?”

I said “Well because it’s not clear, Camaxtli! I thought I made that point!”

“You did. I am merely expressing confusion. I see no flaw in your logic, and your sequence of actions bears strong correlation to estimated optimal path for exploration and research. You are blessed with the Light of the Goddess, and clearly have been properly assembled for your task. Why then do you, who conceived this plan and lead the expedition, find it lacking? Surely if it was lacking, you could rectify it.”

I frowned at him, and then said slowly “So… you’re saying that you think I’m doing the right thing? Because… I blew you up with holy magic!?”

“’Right’ and ‘Wrong’ have little distinction for me. There is only in line with my directives and not in line with my directives. But your description is not inaccurate. I find our proposed course of action acceptable.”

I felt oddly pleased that the ancient robot mind approved of my actions, if very disconcerted that he was happy I had blown him up!

“Well… thank you!” I said, then I reached over and hugged him impulsively. He was solid, but also soft like Eshaan, and smelled faintly of chemicals and soap.

“Hey!” Came Lakshmi’s voice from behind me. “You have your own boyfriend, don’t go hogging all of them!”

I turned with a smile. “Sorry Lakshmi, I didn’t realize you’d laid claim to this one.”

She scowled at me, and waved her wrench threateningly. “Don’t you start too! Soriya is already teasing me!”

“Well what’s wrong with him?” I asked, and then clapped my hands over my mouth in embarrassment. “I am so sorry!” I said. “I promised I wouldn’t meddle and…” I shook my head quickly. “Your interests are entirely your own!”

Lakshmi frowned at me, lowering the wrench. “You…‘re trying to set me up with Camaxtli?” She asked, her tone more puzzled than offended as I had feared.

“No! No, of course not! You’re your own person and absolutely get to choose your romantic partners!” But, I mean, if this were a jrpg, you’d already be head over heels for him, trying to prove he has a soul and teasing out his repressed emotions. I thought to myself.

“Your attempts to have a romantic interaction with me are fruitless. I do not feel emotion, such as you describe.” Camaxtli said firmly. “I have stated as much previously.”

I pressed my lips together firmly to stop from smiling. That was a tone of annoyance if I’d ever heard it.

Lakshmi turned on him and waved her wrench. “First of all, who said I was trying to have a ‘romantic interaction’ with you?! Second of all, that’s just spirit poop! Lily healed you, and you keep talking about the big white light explosion she made like it’s more important.”

Camaxtli frowned. “It is important. It is critical to her claim of being empowered by the Goddess.”

“It’s not critical to your having a heart and soul! To you being very much a real person, if you could ever get your head out of your ass! Rrrgh!” Lakshmi tore at her hair. “You are so… maddening!”

I swear, if she proclaims she doesn’t understand boys, I will throw something. I thought grimly. I don’t understand me let alone an entire gender!

Lakshmi turned to me, and I tensed in anticipation.

“What on earth are you doing here anyway?” She asked. “You avoid machinery and anything to do with it like the plague!”

“That’s… that’s not true!” I said defensively. “I just don’t know enough about them!”

“And yet, here you are, around me and the machines, having an opinion.”

I glared at her. “I am here because I need to know if you want to leave! Since I’ve been acting as a leader without asking, and all your airships get sunk around me!” I said heatedly, crossing my arms.

Lakshmi actually took a step back then grinned. “Wow, so you really do get angry sometimes! Eshaan told me you didn’t!” She laughed, and added “He owes me 5 zeni!”

I glared, feeling incredibly betrayed and uncertain who by.

I settled for pretending it hadn’t happened. Sure Lily. Like that ever works in any universe.

“Lakshmi, do you want to come on this quest with me? Do you think I’m doing the right thing?” I ground out.

Lakshmi blinked; her eyes wide in surprise. “What on earth…? Why the blue hells do you think I’m here?!” She said. She waved grandly to encompass everything generally. “We’re in an ancient city, as old as the Ancients, I’m talking to an artificial person, I get to finally build the airship of my dreams, and then improve it, and you regularly break my brain with impossible discoveries and cool Ancient technology that I then get to play with!? Are you kidding me?! You’re the best thing to ever happen to me since I found my first book on magitech fusion in the family library! There’s no way I’m not going to be involved in whatever awesome insane thing you come up with next!”

I took a step back, intimidated by her enthusiasm. And, honestly, by the large wrench she was waving dangerously near my nose.

“Oh. Uh. Well… thank you. It’s… an honor to be granted your trust?” I stammered out.

Lakshmi laughed again. “That’s more like the Lily I know!” she leapt forward and hugged me. “Of course I want to come along!” She pulled back suddenly. “Why, did somebody tell you I didn’t?!”

“N-no, no, nothing like that! I just… I thought I should… you know. Ask. Instead of just assuming you would come along.”

“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that! If I decide you’re boring, you’ll know it!” She spun on her heel and headed to the Sparrowhawk. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish up Sparrowhawk II, and we can get going!”

I stood there for a moment, staring after her, feeling a mixture of exasperation, bafflement, and plain confusion.

I… guess everybody wants to come along on my jrpg adventure, then… I shook my head slowly.