We reached the top of the ladder and stepped out onto the deck of the ghost ship. I heaved a sigh of relief as I finally got my boots back onto a non-sinking deck, even if it was made of woven bones. I looked up and then wished I hadn’t. The crew were all corpses of varying degrees of decay, often just as bad or worse than the corpse puppets piloted by the bugs.

If I treated it like an amusement park ride… or just like the bug corpses in the sewer maze… I could just about hold it together. The really creepy part was when the captain started talking to me.

His voice was a whispery shivery thing that sent shivers up and down my spine and raised goosebumps all over my arms and legs.

“Welcome aboard the Passing Fancy!” he declaimed with a flourish, taking off his hat and bowing gracefully. “Ye can call me Commodore Ramon.” He clapped his hat back on his head. I couldn’t help but note it made a soft squish sound as he did.

“And who be ye?” The bright red sparks of light in his eyes seemed to bore into ours.

Eshaan stepped forward, and gave an Imperial salute, fist over heart. “Captain Ramon, it is my pleasure to meet you. My name is Eshaan, late of the empire’s trooper core, and these ladies are Lilyanna and Soriya, from the town of Breezewood.”

The captain rubbed his jawbone thoughtfully. “Imperial sorts, eh? That’s a bit after my time.” He laughed, a wet coarse sound. “Of course, most everything is after my time these days. You might say I’m a bit late to the party.”

The skeleton crew cluttered around the deck made a horrible bubbling gurgling noise, which I suddenly realized was supposed to be laughter.

Oh great. He’s the sort who laughs at his own jokes. I thought sourly.

“Regardless, your welcome here is genuine, as we rarely get such passengers as yourself.” Captain Ramon continued. “There is, however, the most unpleasant matter of your passage fare.” He extended his hand palm up and made a beckoning gesture.

Eshaan swallowed and then nodded, digging out his belt purse. “Of course. We’re headed to Eburah, how much would that be?”

The creepy laughter of the skeletons all around us resumed, more loudly. “We don’t take zeni, boy.” The captain’s whispery grinding voice echoed. “There’s plenty of that in the Wake, as much as you care to find, all laying about waiting for someone who’s interested. Old money. Dead money. Ghosts of value all left behind. No, our fare be something a bit more… tangible, here in the wake.”

“W-well… we’re certainly obliged to you, so we’d be happy to pay-”

I stepped forward and held out my hand. “No Eshaan. He’s about to say something super creepy, like he’ll take his payment in years of our life, or eternal servitude or something like that. We do not agree to pay without knowing the fee!”

I glared into the glowing red embers of the skeletons eye sockets.

The rotting corpse of the captain stared back, his teeth fixed in a permeant grin. I wasn’t sure how I knew, but it was obvious he was staring at me… almost with hunger. He took a step forward, seeming to sniff the air around me.

“Ahhhh…” he let out a long whispery sigh of … satisfaction?

“Ætherborn…” his whispery voice lingered over the word, caressed it with his rotting voice. He looked back and forth between Soriya and I. “Two Ætherborn… children of the goddess’s last curse upon this rotted world, fresh souls plucked from the well of eternity…”

The rotted lips couldn’t properly form a smile, but somehow, I knew he was grinning from ear to ear.

“Oh your passage fee is done and sorted then, Ætherborn. Yes, your passage is paid.”

I felt my lower lip tremble a little as I took a step back. I licked my lips and hated the quaver in my voice as I replied “W-what do you mean?”

The captain waved his skeletal hand at us. “Children of the goddess’s last curse. Ætherborn. You are the dead. The honored dead.” He took off his hat and swept it into a mocking bow once more. “Your passage fee is already paid, for the toll you will exact on this world. You will leave a trail of corpses behind you, and we… will gather all the souls we desire in your Wake.”

Soriya stepped up. “Hold on. Are you saying that Lily is dead? Dead like me?”

The captain cocked his head to the side and looked at me questioningly. “Post mortem trauma, is it? Can’t remember how you died? Or just don’t want to? I don’t blame ye lass, it’s never a good memory.”

My knees felt weak, and I hugged myself. “I’m… dead?” I whispered.

“Ah, that’ll be post mortem trauma for sure then. Oh yes, lass. Ye have the smell of the grave about you. A wonderful succulent scent, the goddess pulling you out of the well of eternity and dangling ye in front of us like a freshly picked bouquet!”

Soriya took another step forward, and I could see the spark of excitement in her eyes. “So you can tell we’re dead?! Tell me about this well of eternity! You said something about the goddess’s curse!?” She took another step forward, practically thrusting her face into the captain’s in excitement. “Tell me everything!”

The captain looked down at her, thoughtfully. “I could do that, aye. It might amuse me too… but a good captain doesn’t just give away value. You want information, then it’ll cost you.”

Soriya’s face fell. “Oh. And the price…?”

The captain grinned. “As the bright little pink girl here so rightly sussed out. The price is life. Fragments, sparks, promises of the life in the world.”

Soriya’s lips twisted in displeasure. “So in the end you’re just pirates after all.”

The captain threw back his head and laughed wetly, the skeleton crew around him echoing the horrid noise. “Why lass, we never claimed to be naught else!” He sobered, and looked down at her again. “Now will ye be paying the fee, or not?”

Soriya pressed her lips together, clearly conflicted. Finally, she shook her head. “Not. It seems there are certain prices even witches will not pay.”

The captain roared laughter in approval. “Well said, well said!” He turned and bellowed orders to the crew. “Make sail for Eburah!” The crew burst into action, shouts and sounds of bone on bone filling the air, great sheets of grey and tattered sail slipping down the masts. Captain Ramon turned back to us, and tipped his hat. “We’ll see to your comfort, never you fear. Trip should take 3 days, give or take the black moon’s tide.”

Captain Ramon turned and waved his arms to the nearest crew, a pair of shambling skeletons less decayed that most. “Boys! Take them to the guest cabin. The good one mind, not the one for non-paying customers!”

The two skeletons looked at each other, then gave a shrug and beckoned to us wordlessly. I looked at Eshaan and Soriya, they shrugged, and Soriya nodded.

“Might as well. It’s a long trip.” Soriya said.

“I hope it doesn’t turn into a three-hour tour.” I said, but somehow the joke felt flat to me. We followed the two crew who led us along the ghost ship’s deck and into the sterncastle, then through a confusing maze of hallways. The boat didn’t seem to be entirely made of bones, there were ancient timbers woven into the structure as well, and curiously, paintings on the walls as well as lanterns of an ancient design.

Soriya stopped to examine them, but the skeletons wordlessly beckoned to us again, their irritation at our delay plain to see. Shortly we found ourselves in a surprisingly spacious cabin, old and slightly musty, but with fine furnishings.

“I wonder if we’re the first to ever use this?” Eshaan mused, plucking at a strand of cobweb on the doorway.

The skeletons shook their head at him, and then closed the door. I listened, but didn’t hear the sound of a lock.

“At least we’re not locked in.” I said.

“Why would they lock us in?” Soriya asked, bounced up and down on a nearby mattress and sending clouds of dust into the air. “We’re on a ghost ship in the Wake. Where are we going to go?”

I sat down on a nearby chair, gingerly. “I dunno.” I stared at my knees; my hands clenched. It was starting to hit me. Really hit me. I was… I was dead. Whatever had happened to me, whatever had killed me in my sleep on that beach… and now I was living the life of a pink haired healer girl. Plucked from something called the Well of Eternity, if the pirate’s words were to be trusted.

Soriya came over, and laid a hand lightly on my shoulder. “Hey.” She leaned down to murmur in my ear. “You’re not dead. You’re here, on a grand adventure! Doing good and saving the world.”

I looked up at her in startlement. “How did you-” I started

She winked at me and waved her finger in front of my nose. “Tch tch. A witch has her secret ways!”

Eshaan cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Should I-?”

“No! You stay! Who knows what’s out there?!”

“Dead men who tell no tales, apparently.” I gave a weak smile.

Soriya waved her finger in my face again. “No, enough of that. They’re taking us to Eburah! You’ll note they said nothing about getting us out of the Wake though!” Soriya sat down across from me.

“Do you think Gate can get us back?”

I thought about it, then nodded. “He should be able to. He said something about the weakness in the veil before he left.”

Eshaan slapped his fist into his palm. “That’s it! That’s why there’s all those missing people from Eien! They slip into the Wake! The veil between the worlds must be weak there!”

“Hm!” Soriya tapped her lips and nodded. “That was very clever, Eshaan. How’d you figure that out?”

He grinned broadly. “Simple! Lilyanna is a healer, and what needs more healing than a wound in the world!?”

Soriya stared at him, and then burst out laughing. “Well you backed right into that one, didn’t you?”

Eshaan looked hurt but defiant. “Well, I’m right aren’t I?”

Soriya chuckled, then patted him on the head. “Yes, you are, good job.”

He scowled at her and sat down on one of the bunks.

I smiled then shook my head, my smile fading. Eshaan looked at Soriya and they nodded. “Hey, you know, I have a pack of cards-” Eshaan started.

I couldn’t take it anymore. “Sorry.” I stood up. “I’d like some time alone, please.” I headed to the door. “I’ll be back.” I gave a weak smile. “Where would I go?” And then closed the door behind me.

Where would I go? Where did I even come from? I stared at my hand, flexing it, then shook my head and walked aimlessly down the corridor.

The well of eternity? Otherme said hesitantly.

Oh, you’re still here? I thought.

Where else would we be? She responded in confusion.

I don’t know. I don’t even know what you are. Or what it means that I’m dead.

Stop it! We are not dead! She thought angrily.

I might as well be. I reached the end of the corridor, and opened the door onto the deck. The skeleton crew looked at me, then went back to their work.

I stepped silently over the sill, and then walked along the railing of the ship towards the bow, not really sure where I was going. I stopped at the bow, looking ahead over the bowsprit, the rush of the ship cutting through the ocean under me. The breeze blew from behind me, and the inky blackness of the water under the ship was broken by the curling bow wave, with glowing sparks of light deep in the water. It was soothing, really. Despite the fact that I was resting my arms on a railing made of woven bone, and on a ghost ship, the curling bow wave glowing softly in the moonlight and motes of light in the deep made for a contemplative mood. Suitable for my thoughts.

I want you to take it away. I thought.

We’re… not sure- her voice was hesitant.

Don’t give me that. You say you’re me. You know what I mean. I snapped.

We don’t want to. It will hurt us!

Maybe I want to feel a little hurt right now.

We don’t want to do this! We’re healers! She pleaded.

Do it.

She was silent, and then I felt a wrenching ripping feel, as though my soul was coming apart at the seams. The soothing cream she’d applied to my dysphoria, the feeling of it coming loose. It was indescribable, like my heart was tearing out of my chest, like my mind was being ripped in two. I screamed, falling to my knees and clutching at my chest.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

“Oh god! Oh fuck me, why did I ask for that!?” I screamed.

Nothing felt right. The heavy weights on my chest, the absence between my legs, the way my hair was too long, my eyes too wide. My clothes strange and ridiculous, how had I even walked let alone run in these heels?!

We won’t let you do this to us! Her voice rang with conviction, and I felt the slap as if my soul was coming back together, and my body suddenly felt normal again. Tears poured down my cheeks.

I’m stuck like this. I can’t… I can’t go home. It was fun when it was an adventure. I thought. But I’m stuck like this! I sobbed, feeling my heart splintering.

We have mother. We have Soriya. This is an adventure. We are not bad or broken for being Lilyanna! Otherme’s voice was proud, defiant even. We are a healer. We make things better. She continued.

My friends. My family.

You barely saw them. Friends? You barely had them.

Her words stung, because I could feel the truth of them.

I had them! I responded angrily.

Her response was not what I’d expected. Of course you did. Change is painful. We’re a healer, we know that. But you are trying to deny that this is a good place for us. You’re trying to deny who we are now, by pretending that what we were was inviolate.

I knelt on the deck, thinking about her words, the wind slowly drying the tears on my cheeks.

You said you. And then you said we. But you never say I. I thought, wiping at the tear tracks on my cheeks. Why is that?

Otherme was silent for a long time, and I almost poked at her again, before she finally responded. We don’t know all the truths. We only know what we can put together. We’re not as smart as Soriya is.

A space like a mental drawing of breath, and she continued.

We… I if you prefer… have always known you. You have always been inside us. Wrapped like a seed, waiting to bloom. We grew from you. Piece by piece you slowly awoke, and as you did, we… I… grew with you. We are you, because we grew from you, you as you might have been in this world, you as the world might have shaped us.

Is that… why we can’t swear?

I could feel the moue of her disapproval. You swore quite freely when I pulled off the soul bond. She continued. But that is part of us, yes. And also because… because it… yes. Because that is how we felt we should be.

So you’re saying I’ve been… what, asleep for seventeen years?

Yes.

And you’re me.

Yes.

Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?

Otherme laughed, almost giddy, her laughter spilling out of my mouth.

As insane as sailing on a ghost ship in the Wake?!

… alright, fair. It’s an adventure, these things happen. This is… I swallowed. This is the part… “Oh spirits, I’m in the part where the healer girl has her crisis.” I laughed, bitterly, laughed until I started to cry again, and sank back down on the deck, my legs splayed to either side of my hips.

The sound of bone on bone behind me alerted me before Captain Ramone spoke. “Having a good little cry, missy? Not thinking ill of us, I hope? Perhaps feeling a bit of guilt about the deaths ye’ve sent to us?”

I looked up at him, blinking away tears. I wiped at my nose, feeling a kind of perverse satisfaction that I finally had ruined my perfect good girl façade, my nose running with snot.

“No. I’m not… no.” I sniffed, drawing a deep breath, and then started to climb to my feet.

“Ah, where are me manners!” Captain Ramon extended his bony rotting hand to me. I swallowed, and felt a slow building strength growing inside me. Otherme supporting me, whispering.

This is who we always were. We press on. We are sad, and we press on. And a rotting ghost corpse is not going to stop us by scaring us!

I reached up and took his hand in mine, letting him lift me to my feet. His hand was wet and mushy, the bones hard and all too prevalent. The fingerbones felt sharp under my skin, but his grasp was strong and firm. I was proud that my grip did not waver at all.

“Thank you.” I bobbed a graceful curtsey, otherme’s directions feeling smooth and natural.

“Tis no trouble at all, miss.” He continued to hold my hand, miming a kiss to the back of my palm. The shiver that ran up and down my spine could have frozen water, but I held still and let him. Perhaps I was imagining it, but I felt a vague sense of grudging respect as he lowered my hand. I had to resist the desperate urge to wipe my palm on my dress, and pledged that I’d wash it 200 times before the day was out.

“Just noting a pretty lass like yourself, crying her heart out, why, what would any good captain do, but come and see the trouble.”

I gazed at him; his bony rotting face utterly unreadable. I was silent for a long moment, then turned back to face the sea, struggling with how much and what to say. Finally, I spoke.

“Captain, we all have our troubles. Mine are heavy. I’ll not deny it. And have recently grown much heavier.” I stumbled over the words, feeling the pang and pain of realization slowly growing again inside me.

I’m never going home.

Otherme was quick to support with images of mother and our bedroom, but I pushed them aside.

That’s a home. That’s not… my home. It’s… its… I swallowed against it, and thought it carefully. It’s our home. But oh spirits I miss my home…

The rush of joy and comfort from otherme was almost palpable, and felt like a warm tonic going down in cold winter.

I turned to him. “But as a healer, I try to heal where I can. What is it that I can do for you and your crew, Captain?”

The bright red dots of his eyes stared at me for a long moment, and he scratched at the back of his skull. “That’s an odd question to be asking the likes of us, missy. I’m thinking even a wee slip of a girl such as you can see, we’re a bit beyond a healer’s salve or a potion.” His voice was baffled, but still slightly mocking.

I smiled gently. “I’m also a {Spiritist}. I strive to heal all the hurts.”

His eyes glowed intently, and he was silent for a long moment. He abruptly turned on his heel. “We be needing nothing from you.”

He’s lying. Otherme whispered.

I snorted mentally. Really? What was your first clue? She didn’t respond.

“Is that so?” I shrugged trying to make it look easy. “Very well, should you change your mind, I will assist in any way I can.”

He looked at me, his eyes burning intently, then abruptly spun on his heel and strode away, shouting commands at his crew.

I sighed, and then turned back. It wasn’t much, but… I felt the tremble in my lower lip, and the flutter of pain in my heart.

But it’s what I’ve got now. The burdens grow…

…but we continue on. Otherme finished.

I nodded in agreement, and then whispered under my breath “Thank you.” I headed back to the cabin. A good healer princess was strong willed, and right now that felt very good indeed.

Day and night in the Wake were strange. Time seemed to be reversed in the Wake, night was day, and day was night, but even that was odd. Day was a foggy mist, heavily overcast, the sun more like a reddish grey smudge far overhead, while by night the moon was full and large and too close, shining over a sea that was full of stars while the sky was empty of everything but the overlarge moon.

Soriya, Eshaan and I mostly kept to our cabin. Morning found us blinking sleepily at each other. Sleep had not come easily to us. Soriya’s stomach growled loudly. She clutched at it, and blushed. “Ah. It seems even in the land of the dead, the living hunger.” She looked at me pleadingly. “Lily, could you…?”

I smiled. It was good to feel needed, and better to feel something like normalcy in such an abnormal place. “Yes, of course.” I started pulling out cooking supplies from our gear. Eshaan put his hand lightly on mine as I was reaching in my belt pouches. I looked up at him curiously.

“Eshaan?” I asked, puzzled.

He shook his head at me. “Fire on a ship. Tends to be a pretty bad idea. We need to ask the captain, and maybe they’ll let us use their galley.”

Soriya and I both widened our eyes in sudden understanding.

“Right!” I nodded. “Well. No time like the present!” I stepped out of the cabin and our little group went looking for Captain Ramon.

We found him standing at the ship’s wheel, shouting commands to his crew. We waited until he finished his command. He turned to us, his eyes blazing red. “What is it ye be wanting now?” He snapped.

I bowed to him, and then said “We were hoping we could use your ship’s galley to prepare food. Eshaan says that fire on a ship is bad.”

The ship seemed to grow still for a moment, even the sea quieting. “The galley… ye say?” The steersman for the ship turned mutely to the captain, and I could sense … pleading? In its posture.

The captain snapped at it. “Back to yer post, back to work all of you!” He shouted angrily.

His rotted face was pinched with some expression I couldn’t read, and so we simply stood staring at eachother for an awkwardly long time.

Finally he muttered “Can’t’ be helped. Flesh still eats…” then more loudly “Galley is forward! Under the bowcastle. You’ll find it needs a bit of cleaning.” He said with almost savage glee, as well as another emotion I couldn’t read. He had a lot of those, I was starting to see.

I bowed to him again, gratefully. “Thank you, Captain Ramon. If you or your crew wishes to have some-”

“We need naught from ye!” The captain shouted at me, his eyes blazing brightly. I saw Soriya perk up, and a flicker of mischief float across her face gone so fast I almost missed it.

“Then we thank you regardless.” Soriya smiled, and bowed as well. Eshaan saw both of us bowing to the captain, and followed suit awkwardly.

We headed to the bowcastle, and inside. The galley was indeed filthy and unused, as one might expect on a ship crewed with ghosts and dead men.

I stepped into the dusty kitchen, and sneezed, a cloud of dust forming around me.

I looked around. “Well… I’ve never used a ship’s kitchen before… Eshaan? Can you help me?”

He grinned and nodded. “Sure, but first, lets open these portholes and get the dust out!” He flung open the portholes and the air started to clear immediately.

“I’ve never seen a ship’s galley so filthy, especially such a nice one as this.” He laughed. “But then again, I’ve never seen a ghost ship, so there’s that! Don’t suppose there’s much call for the food among the dead.”

Soriya kicked the door closed behind her with a bang. “And a good thing too. This is our trump card.”

Eshaan looked puzzled, but it suddenly fell together for me.

“Oh! You mean like… making food for the sailors, and remind them of their humanity?! If they demand payment we don’t have?” I said.

Soriya nodded in satisfaction. “Yes, exactly like that.”

I tapped my chin thoughtfully. “Hm. That’s an interesting idea.” The thought slowly blossoming in my mind. I liked the feel of it. I liked the feel of it a lot to be honest. If it went right… I might even bring these poor souls to rest!

“Well!” I clapped my hands and grabbed an ancient mop. “Let’s clean this place up, and then test our theory! Nothing gets a good appetite going like some housework!” I set to with a will, Soriya and Eshaan considerably less enthused about the heroic questers stuck on cleaning duty.

I stuck out my tongue at Eshaan. “Stop moping. It’s better than the sewers.”

In truth, I was throwing myself into the task more to forget about… everything. And it was easy to do, the soothing repetitive mindless action of mopping, sweeping, and polishing an easy path to stop thinking for a time.

But every task ends, provided you keep working at it, and Soriya and Eshaan’s stomachs were growling loudly by the time we finished. But the ship’s kitchen… the ‘galley’ Eshaan informed me… was cleaner than it had been in a very long time, and a cheerful blaze roared from a pile of fire crystals in the lower part of the giant stove resting on firebricks above the ships deck. Very shortly, the delicious smell of hot food began to float through the kitchen.

Soriya nudged me surreptitiously. Several crewskeletons were peeking around the door frame, tipping their skulls as though sniffing. I smothered a grin behind my hand, and when the first batch was done, turned to the door as though by accident.

“Oh!” I said, affecting surprise. Soriya rolled her eyes, and I could tell that my acting was exactly as bad as you’d expect from me. I shot her an angry glare. It was not my fault neither one of me was a good liar!

“We have extra, if you wish?” I offered the staring crewskeletons a bowl. They stared, frozen for a timeless moment, then dashed off, the sound of bones clattering on bone accompanying their hasty retreat.

I shared a significant look with my friends and nodded. “Oh yes. I’ll be cooking for the crew too then.”

We sat down to eat, Eshaan stuffing his face as usual, Soriya prim and proper and taking her time despite her obvious hunger.

“I don’t understand!” Eshaan said, between bites. “Why are you sure we’ll be cooking for them?”

“It’s just part of the story beat.” I replied, taking a few bites.

Hm. Not our best work, but not bad at all given what we had to work with. I found myself thinking in time with otherme.

“The ship claims that our passage is paid, but when we reach our destination, some technicality is revealed, some trick of wording or something, and “oh now you must pay after all”.” I explained.

Eshaan stopped eating for a moment, struck by the idea. “Oh. Well, I guess they are pirates after all.” He went back to eating.

“So why…. Oh! I get it now! Cooking! Your food is so good it reminds them of being alive!” He grinned triumphantly, pointing his spoon at me. “I told you that your cooking was good!”

I sniffed, shaking my head. “Eshaan, they’re dead. McDonald’s would convince them to let us go.”

He scrunched up his face. “Who’s McDonalds?”

I laughed, but felt a stab of pain shoot through my heart. I’m never going to see a McDonald’s again. Never going to fail to get an icecream again.

Soriya placed her hand over mine. “We can eat bad street food in the capital. I’m positive that bad fast food is a multiversal constant. Like time or gravity.”

I smiled weakly at her, and we finished our meal in silence.

We cleaned up the kitchen, and I found myself at the bow of the ship again, staring out into the endless swirling mists of the “day” of the Wake. The mist teased at my eyes, every few moments a shape would almost resolve, like an after image that was gone the instant you looked for it. I started focusing on one place, trying to catch the shapes out of the corner of my eye. It was elusive, I couldn’t quite get it, but it made for a good distraction.

Eshaan broke my concentration, as he clambered up the ladder to the top deck, and clomped his way over to me. He rested his arms on the railing next to mine.

“Lily? You ok? You’ve been up here for hours.” He said.

“Hm? Have I?” I turned to him, blinking slowly, feeling as though the mists were swirling around in my brain. Everything was still and quiet and slow.

He nodded, seeming much too loud, too vibrant somehow. “Yeah, you have. I was getting worried.”

“Oh…” I blinked, feeling a strange muffled sensation slipping off of me. Not entirely welcome, as the abrupt memory of my situation came rushing back.

“Lily?” Eshaan said, worried.

I sighed. Would it do any good? Would it matter to explain? I suddenly felt an urge to fling everything in his face. Maybe he’ll just stop bothering me if he knows the truth!? Strangely, otherme was silent.

I turned to him, feeling a little vicious thrill. “Eshaan, you know I’m from another world?”

He nodded.

“Well, you don’t know the whole of it. I’m not just from another world, I was a male in that other world!”

He blinked at me stupidly. I felt a small rush of pleasure, and the disapproving voice of otherme.

You’re lashing out. You’re just trying to push him away now. To hurt someone, as you feel hurt.

Shut up! You don’t get a say in this!

Otherme floated silently in my head, and I could feel that self-righteous smirk on her face.

“Wow.” Eshaan finally said. “I didn’t… huh, that’s really surprising! Explains a lot, really. You don’t… really seem very much like a boy to me though. I mean, no offense or anything?”

I glared at him. “Why, is the pink hair and boobs blinding you?”

He frowned, taking a step back. I stepped forward, keeping the distance between us.

“Lily, why are you…?” His face suddenly lit with understanding. “This is about what the pirates said, isn’t it? This is about you not knowing you were dead in the other world.”

“No!” I shouted angrily at him, but both of me knew that was a pitiful lie. So pitiful that even Eshaan’s expression said he could tell. But instead, he nodded.

“Alright. I’m wrong then. I’m wrong a lot; I’m used to it.” He smiled in a self-depreciating way that I hated him for in that moment.

“Stop it! Stop it!” I demanded, pounding my fists against his chest. “Stop being so reasonable about everything! Just-”

I found his arms around me, and felt him pulling me into a gentle hug. It sucked. I hated every second of it. And my body betrayed me by feeling the tears welling up in my eyes.

“I wanted to go home!” I wailed at his chest. “I had a life! I had friends! This wasn’t supposed to be… forever! I was on vacation!”

Hiccupping sobs ripped out of me, and I leaned into the hug, feeling immensely betrayed at how comforted I felt in his arms. He didn’t press, just held me while I continued to sob.

Finally, after I’d stopped sobbing, he released me, leaning on the railing while I wiped at my eyes and rubbed my nose clean. After a moment, he spoke, still looking out at the sea.

“I’m not a smart man, Lily. Not like you or Soriya. I’m just an average fellow, I know my limits. But I do know that life is never about the way we expect things to be. My father expected me to take over the family fishing boat when I grew up. Commander Khine expected me to obey orders, and then expected you to die in the attack.” He was silent a while longer then turned to me, and lightly placed his hand on my head. “It’s what we do that matters, not what we expect to do.” He turned back to the sea. “I don’t know about you being a boy or whatever. That sure sounds like it would suck. A lot. I barely understand my way around the sharp end of a sword let alone something complicated like that. But I do know that you are kind. And generous. And I would be dead many times over without your help. And none of that has to do with who you were, or what you expected. You saw someone in need, and helped. And I think I like that person just fine. Whoever you are.”

He nodded into the far distance. “So I know that the person next to me is a good person. And I like… them. They’re my friend.” He stumbled over the pronoun.

“And if my friend needs comforting, then I’ll do that. Just like I know you’ll do what you need to do, because you’re one of the strongest people I know, Lily.” He pushed back from the railing, and patted me lightly on the arm. “But what do I know. I’m just the meathead with the sword. Don’t stay out too long. This mist is chilly.” He took off his scarf and wrapped it around my neck, then clomped back downstairs towards the aft of the ship.

I fingered the tail of the scarf thoughtfully.

I told you he was smarter than you thought. Otherme said smugly.

Oh shut up. I replied, but all the heat drained from the thought. Damn him anyway, for being such a nice guy. I thought. I sniffed at the mist, then frowned. He was right. The mist was chilly. I turned and headed back to our cabin.