image [https://i.imgur.com/NQWbnYT.png]
Something about sitting in Dr. Oh’s waiting room always gave me a feeling like being called to the principal’s office.
Maybe it was that no one ever looked happy to be there, or because I only ever showed up to it because I was obligated to - whatever it was, it made waiting in there worse than it had to be.
The second I sat down on a hard leather chair in the corner, my phone pinged. I swiped up to see that I’d received a text from Cleo, which was weird, since she should’ve been in class at this hour.
tío will you take me to the mall after school? 😋 She wrote. it’s very important!!!!
Ordinarily, the mall put me on edge even on a good day, but at least it probably wouldn’t be too crowded in the middle of the week. Sure why not. Any reason its more important now than any other day
Immediately, a response. yes mamas birthday is coming up n i havent gotten her anything yet 😳 cuz no one will take me but it’s very important that we do this asap!!
I cursed under my breath. With everything else going on, I’d completely forgotten about Mercy’s birthday, which had dropped in priority given… well, everything.
Youre right it is. Let me tell her so I can get you. I didn’t even have time to put my phone away before Cleo replied, making my phone vibrate repeatedly.
no don’t tell her! 👀 she’ll get suspicious cuz you hate shopping!! it’s our secret!
If Cleo was this responsive, she was clearly slacking off in her class. I rolled my eyes. You dont think she will freak out if youre MIA
ok you can tell her but you can’t tell her what we’re shopping for!! i wanna surprise her 🤭
Weird, but I wasn’t going to question it. Besides, Cleo’s company was a welcome distraction, like stopping on an island independent from everywhere else. I switched screens from my texts to my contacts and dialed up Mercy.
One ring, two ring, three… Why can’t you text like normal people? I thought, annoyed.
Four rings, five—
“Manny, I’m at work,” Mercy answered curtly. “Whatever this is about, can it wait?”
I blinked, and then frowned. “Well, hello to you, too.”
“I’m serious, what do you want?” She pressed. “Monica’s on a warpath today, and I don’t want to get written up for something that isn’t an emergency.”
Her unexpected hostility left me more sore than I cared to admit. “Look, I just wanted to pick up Cleo from school today, that’s all. And since you never answer your texts on time, I called instead. I didn’t think that was a big deal.”
“Oh,” Mercy sighed in relief, and her tone relaxed. “Yeah, that’s okay. Why? Where are you two going?”
“The mall. She wants to…” I paused, trying to think of an excuse. “… She, uh, she wants to get new pants. Something about how her current ones aren’t cool, or something. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.”
“Are you sure you’re feeling up to it?” She seemed hesitant. “You don’t have to do things just because she asks you to, you know.”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, I— I’ve been doing okay. I’m fine, I mean.”
“Alright, well, if you’re sure…” Mercy trailed off before adding, “Though unless you’re shelling out for her, she’s not going to be able to get anything. She’s not getting her allowance until next week, and I’m halving it this time because she’s been fighting with Joey nonstop.”
“Always a telenovela with you girls, eh?” I smiled. “Well, I was just calling to let you know so you didn’t think she got kidnapped. Talk to you later?”
“Mmhm,” she hummed, and then the call ended just as abruptly as it began.
The door to Dr. Oh’s office opened, and when she came through the doorway, Dr. Oh looked at me as if she expected me to be a no show.
“Mr. Herrera?” She called out, ironing out the subtle surprise from her features. “I’m ready for you.”
With a nod, I got up from my seat and entered her office, where a sense of dread crept in as I settled into the couch. Dr. Oh took her seat across from me, but this time, she didn’t have a notebook in hand. She simply crossed her legs, then laid her hands on her lap.
“Before we begin, I’d like to apologize for how our last session ended,” she said. “I don’t ordinarily take phone calls while seeing patients, but since it was an emergency, I hope you understand. Please know that today, all of my attention is on you.”
To me, it was actually a blessing in disguise, since the last session mostly involved her lecturing me about ‘dangerous habits’ like an after-school special. I couldn’t even argue against her without being met with coded language that seemed designed to confuse and aggravate on principle.
“Uh, it’s okay,” I replied. “You had to do what you had to do.”
Now that I’d thought about it, I noticed a shift in Dr. Oh’s body language this time around. She was withdrawn and stiff, her shoulders level enough to balance a glass on, and even when I smiled at her, she didn’t smile back. Instead, she simply clicked her pen and brought out her notes to review.
“So, tell me, Manuel,” she began. “How have you been doing lately?”
I hadn’t been so nervous during an appointment since my very first. As I looked at her, a migraine began to form, a tingle behind my eyes that bled down my face. Could I trust her with the truth? Could I trust her with anything? Or would she just saddle me with more pills and more shame?
In my silence, Dr. Oh’s eyes narrowed so slightly that I nearly missed it, but she didn’t even try to hide her judgment. The unyielding focus of her stare crushed me under its weight, and I swallowed thickly.
“Fine,” I said. “I’ve been fine.”
Despite her smile, Dr. Oh clearly knew I was lying.
She didn’t care enough to say anything about it.
･ ･ ･
Since my appointment had been in the afternoon, I didn’t have to wait very long outside for Cleo.
At the ring of the bell, kids started pouring out of the doors of the school to join their families in the long line of cars that had formed around the block, all of their faces blending together until I saw the bright, brown eyes I knew only to be Cleo’s. She zipped over to my truck as fast as she could, and once she was inside, I glanced over at her to smile - and yet something stopped me.
Cleo’s freckled cheeks were slimmer and paler than they should be, and her hair was a frizzy puff that sat on top of her head. What was even stranger was that she was decorated in jewelry I hadn’t seen before, and a backpack so brand new, it was practically sparkling.
“Ay, pecosita, you sure you want to go shopping today?” I smiled, reaching to stroke her cheek. “Looks like someone already took you!”
Though she looked at me, Cleo didn’t reply, and she resisted my touch. With a click, she buckled her seat belt and settled in, and the next few minutes of silence that followed me told me she was staying tight-lipped for a reason.
“Is something up?” I asked. “You usually have more to talk about after school.”
Cleo’s pout was a cross between sad and annoyed. “I just have a lot on my mind, okay?”
“I can tell, that’s why I’m asking.” I shot her a sympathetic look. “If I didn’t say something, you’d be sitting around going, ‘Oh no, Tío doesn’t care what I think! Boo-hoo, I’m so sad!’ And then you’d grow up all cagey and weird.”
She narrowed her eyes critically. “You mean like you?”
Internally, I winced; her words always had a way of cutting me straight to my core, just like her mom. Still, I put on a smile. “Alright, then, consider me a cautionary tale. You wouldn’t wanna be like me, right?”
Cleo went quiet, which I found more hurtful than another sassy remark. Then, she sighed.
“I wish I was more like you,” she replied tenderly. “You’re brave and strong and you aren’t scared of anything. But I am. I totally suck.”
I spun the wheel to make a turn, peeking at Cleo from the corner of my eye. For some reason, she wore an expression like she was on trial for a conviction - I had no idea where this was coming from, but I wasn’t about to let it sour the whole trip.
“Are those little friends of yours acting stupid again, chiquita?” I asked. “You know that Hunter kid is nothing but bad news, right? Don’t let him push you around now, ‘cause in ten years, you’ll be in medical school and he’ll be, I don’t know, all washed up on dope or some shit. Sorry— don’t swear.”
She smiled, but there was still a sadness to it. “Don’t worry, it’s got nothing to do with Hunter.”
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“Then what’s going on?” I raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t I tell you that you can’t have secrets or boyfriends until you’re thirty?”
At this, Cleo had nothing to say, not even a laugh. Whatever was going on in her head, she didn’t want to let me in on it, and I wasn’t in a position where I could push her on it without getting it thrown back in my face for hypocrisy. I sighed in defeat.
“Well, we’ve got two options here.” I flashed two fingers up. “One, you can sit around feeling sorry for yourself and make this no fun at all, or two, you can put on a happy face and I’ll buy you enough Dippin’ Dots to make you gain three pounds.”
“Three pounds?” Finally, Cleo gave me a big, shiny smile, which felt like winning the lottery. “Wouldn’t that be, like, eighteen cups?”
“Ain’t they got that kind of stuff on your homework?” I grinned. “I’ve always believed that if you apply all that stuff you learn in school to your life, it’ll stick better. Now, why don’t you lay some Dippin’ Dots math on me?”
Dramatically, Cleo rolled her eyes, but it was clear that her spirits had been lifted. Thankfully, the drive between the mall and the school was short so when we arrived, Cleo was still in a better mood.
Within the mall, we drifted from store to store, but whatever Cleo was looking for, she had yet to find it. Personally, I was just going to get her Keurig and call it done; offhandedly, Cleo made a comment about practical gifts being the most disappointing ones, but I knew that time would prove her wrong eventually.
Upon passing a jewelry store, Cleo halted in front of the window and nearly choked on the Dr. Pepper she’d been clutching. After regaining her composure, she let out a squeal that only preteens and emergency alarms could make.
“What, what is it?” I tried to see which shiny thing she was looking at, but the lighting in the display case was so bright, it was like staring into the sun. “What are we looking at?”
“Look at this necklace, Tío!” Cleo beamed, pressing her finger to the glass. “I have to get it for her! Oh my gosh— it’s perfect!”
I peered closer at the necklace, which had a drooping silver pendant hanging from a gold chain. From between the cleft of its leaves dangled little gold beads that glistened like Christmas lights, and it took me a minute to realize that despite its elaborate shape, it was basically just a flower. I raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Uh… what’s so special about it?”
“It’s a honeysuckle!” She replied. “Honeysuckles are her favorite flower!”
I blinked. “She has a favorite flower? I thought she liked all flowers equally.”
As Cleo prepared to give me a long speech about flowers, a clerk came over to see what the commotion was. He was dressed so nicely, I felt like a bum for wearing boots, jeans and a T-shirt. I coughed awkwardly, adjusting my baseball cap.
“Hey, um, what’s the price on this necklace?” I tapped the glass. “That one. No— yeah, the flower one.”
“Oh, yes,” the clerk said, “This piece goes for about three hundred and ninety-nine, though our sale right now brings it down to three hundred.”
I choked on my spit. “What the hell? At that price, does it clean your house too?”
In embarrassment, Cleo covered her face. The clerk’s smile tightened, his eyes narrowing. “Well, we do offer financing—”
“Like paying rent on it? And people go for that?” I stared, shocked. “So if they’re late on payments, do you send loan sharks to break kneecaps?”
“I see that you don’t have much experience with luxury goods,” the clerk replied coldly.
“Ugh, you’re being so embarrassing, stop it!” Cleo chimed in, digging around in her purse. “I’ll cover it!”
The clerk and I both looked at Cleo, whose eyes burned with determination. Then, his flat, waxy smile took on an air of patronizing amusement. “Sweetheart, I’m not sure you understand how much this costs…”
With that smart ass little comment, I had half a mind to reach across the counter and clock him, but then I looked down at Cleo. The way she glanced from me, to the necklace and then back to me meant that she had her heart set on this, and I could never say no to her.
Instead of yelling at the clerk, who almost certainly had no say in the prices, I sighed and pulled out my wallet. “We’ll take it.”
“Yes!” Cleo squealed, bouncing up and down excitedly as she hugged my arm. “You’re the best! Oh, Mamá’ll be so excited!”
The clerk seemed appreciative that the debate was over and promptly got to work wrapping up the necklace. “Your wife is sure to love this, sir. I guarantee it.”
I didn’t say anything; all I did was draw the brim of my cap down lower to hide the redness that was spreading across my cheeks. With the necklace artfully wrapped and bagged, we left the store, my wallet feeling much, much lighter than it should.
“I don’t get why that was a better present than a Keurig,” I said, as we returned to wandering through the mall. “Keurigs are cheaper and you get more out of ‘em. Is it a girl thing?”
“Gosh, Tío, stop complaining! It makes you look cheap!” Cleo scolded. “And I could’ve helped pay for at least some of it, you know.”
“Nah, I heard from tu madre that you’re tapped out on your allowance,” I scoffed. “Besides, where are you getting your money from? I know she ain’t dropping more than fifteen bucks a week on you. What, did you land a gig babysitting some rich kids?”
A look of guilt flashed across Cleo’s face. I raised an eyebrow, but it wasn’t enough to prompt her to continue if she didn’t want to.
But she stalled for what felt like a really, really long time, and each second that passed made me nervous about what exactly was going on. Suddenly, like a little balloon, she burst, freezing in place right where she stood.
“Tía’s been bribing me to keep secrets!” Her words tumbled out so quickly, I almost couldn’t understand them.
Immediately, I dropped Cleo’s hand and stopped walking, staring right at her. “What? What are you talking about?”
Under my gaze, Cleo’s lip wobbled as she fought back tears. “You— you remember how I told you that I thought something was weird with her and Luke?”
I nodded stiffly.
“Well… last month, Tía was in the bathroom, and her phone went off, right? And I saw on her screen that she got something from Luke, and—“ She paused to sniff. “I know this is really bad, but I was curious, so I looked at it, and they were sending each other, uh, sexts? Um, it was just a bunch of really dirty pictures, but I know they shouldn’t be doing anything like that—”
“Cleo, slow down,” I said, taking her by the shoulders. I noticed that people had begun to stare at us, so I sat her down at a quiet bench before anyone could overhear. “Okay. What happened next?”
Nervously, Cleo swallowed, before everything spilled out again. “She— she caught me looking, and she yelled at me! And I was like, what you’re doing with Luke is wrong, and she said going through people’s stuff is just as wrong, and I told her I’d tell Mamá, but she said that she’d tell Mamá that I was lying ‘cause— ‘cause I didn’t like Luke, which isn’t true, if anything I don’t think he likes me—”
There was no hope of getting a word in edgewise, so I simply sat there and tried not to bend the metal of the bench with my bare hands out of rage.
“Anyway— then Tía said that if I kept it secret… she’d pay me however much I want…” She took in a big, sad sniff. “And I didn’t know what to do, so I— I’ve just been letting her… and— and sometimes she’ll pay me extra to— to distract Mamá… oh, Tío, I’m horrible…”
A violent thrumming awakened in my chest, tingling all the way up to the crown of my head. Inhale, exhale, I repeated in my mind, as if it would make a difference. After wiping the tears from her face, Cleo’s cheeks were stained black with mascara.
“I even convinced you to— to take me here ‘cause I wanted to buy Mamá something nice for her birthday… it’s the only thing I can do to make up for being such a— a coward…” She sighed heavily. “I’m so, so sorry. Please don’t hate me…”
“I don’t hate you. None of this is your fault, okay?” I said firmly. “Even if you were poking around where you weren’t supposed to, what Jo’s doing isn’t right. And she knows that, which is why she’s making you keep it a secret.”
Cleo couldn’t even bear to look at me, she was so ashamed. Instead, she stared down at her sleeves, bunching them up in her fists to the point that the fabric looked ready to tear.
I didn’t know it was possible for me to hate Joanna as much as I did at that moment. It was one thing for her to be a shitty sister - that was nothing new - but dragging Cleo into it was too far. She was lucky I couldn’t ever bring myself to hit a woman; at least I wasn’t that much like my father.
Despite the anger threatening to drown me from the inside out, I took Cleo’s hand gently back into mine and squeezed it. After a few minutes of silence, she sighed once again.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t want you getting mad at Tía…”
“It’s all going to be okay, pecosita.” I held her close. “Now that I know about it, I can fix it, and then you won’t have to worry about it anymore.”
She looked up at me, her eyes red and raw. “That’s not fair, I can’t ask you to clean up my messes.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” I smiled to reassure her. “It’s what I’ll always be here for.”
A pause. Then, Cleo’s lip quivered. “Promise?”
I looped my pinkie finger around hers.
“Promise,” I replied.
･ ･ ･
As Cleo and I made our way out of the mall back to my truck, she didn’t say another word about Joanna and Luke. Neither did I; I knew that whatever had to happen, I refused to let Cleo be involved anymore than she’d already been. She had enough on her plate as it was.
Just as we reached our parking space, Cleo shrieked, which snapped me out of the roiling thoughts plaguing my mind.
“Ah! Tío!” She cried. “There’s a huge wasp nest on your truck!”
Sure enough, in the bed of my truck sat a nest. It resembled a big ball of old newspaper, brown and crinkled all along its edges. I was puzzled — that wasn’t there this morning, and a nest of that size would’ve taken more than just a few hours to build, wouldn’t it?
Right away, Cleo hid behind me. “Uh… how are we gonna get in the car?”
“They’re just wasps, chiquita.” I patted her head. “You’re acting like it’s a feral dog.”
“Last time I got stung by a wasp, I swelled up so bad, I thought I was gonna die!” She frowned. “I’m not taking my chances with them!”
For some reason, I didn’t feel the innate sense of fear that she felt - a fear that I should’ve felt, given just how big it was. Instead, I left Cleo behind and approached it, fully expecting a few wasps to fly out and sting me in defense… yet the nest was so still, it was as if they were all asleep.
“What are you doing?” Cleo gawked. “Are you crazy?”
Against my better judgment, I reached over the side of my truck’s bed and took the nest itself into my hand, breaking it free from the bed’s wall. It gave way easily, and as I removed it, several wasps came billowing out of it to see what was happening. The wasps, upon seeing me, were completely at ease.
With the nest in my hand, they made no move to sting me, choosing instead to form a little swarm all along my arm as if catching a ride. Gently, I set the nest down on the ground near a tree, and the wasps fluttered away from my arm to stay behind with it. Cleo’s mouth hung open in shock.
“How did you do that?” She peered at the nest from behind me. “That was so insane!”
“Just need to show them you ain’t scared of anything, pecosita.” I smiled proudly; but to be honest, I had no idea that was going to work. “I think they can smell fear.”
“Ugh, you’re so cool! You’re like Snow White!” Cleo beamed excitedly. “Except with bugs, I guess? Kinda gross, but cool!”
“Snow White?” I frowned playfully. “Why can’t I be the Wasp Whisperer instead?”
As she opened the car door, she shrugged. “Snow White’s better.”
Rolling my eyes, I snorted. Now that the nest was gone, Cleo and I loaded up into the truck and set off.
Aside from a few comments here and there about things she saw on the side of the road, Cleo stayed silent, which I took as a sign that she, too, had a lot on her mind. It didn’t seem right to push her more than I had already, so all I did was play the radio whenever the truck became too quiet for my comfort.
At her house, I pulled up to the curb, where I saw Mercy and Lupe sitting out on the porch with lemonade. Upon the sight of my truck, Mercy’s face lit up in that sweet little way it always did, and suddenly three hundred dollars didn’t seem like that much to spend.
Before she left, Cleo threw her arms around me and put her face on my shoulder.
“I love you, Tío,” she said, her voice muffled by my shirt.
“I love you, too,” I replied. “Be good.”
She breathed in, then out. “I’ll try.”