Haruto sighed, staring at the two powerful women arguing over him in the middle of the Adventurer's Guild like he was some rare collectible.
On one side, Lilia, the Demon Lord, stood tall with her arms crossed, her crimson eyes burning with absolute confidence. She had already declared him her future husband—without bothering to ask if he wanted to be.
On the other, Princess Emilia of the Holy Kingdom, golden-haired and equally stubborn, had just offered him noble status, a castle, and a high-ranking job as her knight.
And in between them?
Haruto.
Broke. Unemployed. Suffering.
"Why does this keep happening to me?" he muttered under his breath.
Claire, the tsundere guild receptionist, smacked a ledger onto the counter. "Because you're an idiot."
Haruto scowled. "How is any of this my fault?"
Claire gestured aggressively. "You've got god-tier skills, infinite mana, and literally every combat ability maxed out! But instead of using them, you're sitting here trying to apply for minimum-wage jobs!"
"Because I just want a normal life!" Haruto snapped.
Claire groaned, dragging a hand down her face.
Meanwhile, the Demon Lord and the Princess were still going at it.
"You're wasting your breath, Princess," Lilia smirked. "Haruto is already mine."
"Absolutely not!" Emilia shot back. "I refuse to let him fall into demonic hands!"
"I refuse to let him waste away in human mediocrity!"
"He will be a hero of the kingdom!"
"He will be the Demon King's consort!"
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Haruto's eye twitched.
"Will anyone ask what I want?" he muttered.
"NO!" Both girls snapped at the same time.
Haruto groaned.
The Adventurer's Guild Breaks Again
Just as the argument hit its peak, the guild doors swung open again.
A ragged-looking merchant stumbled inside, panting like he had just run across the entire continent. His fancy robes were half-burned, and he looked terrified out of his mind.
"P-Please! I need to hire an adventurer—ANY adventurer!" the merchant gasped.
Haruto's ears perked up. A job? An actual job?!
Before anyone else could respond, he stepped forward immediately. "I'll do it."
The merchant blinked. "H-Huh?"
"I'll take the job," Haruto repeated. "What do you need done?"
Claire immediately slammed a rejection stamp onto the counter. "NO."
Haruto snapped his head around. "WHY?!"
The merchant looked between them, confused. "Um… what's happening?"
Claire crossed her arms. "I am not letting you take another quest."
Haruto threw up his hands. "Oh, come on! You won't let me register as an adventurer, you won't let me do manual labor, you won't even let me be a freaking baker because I accidentally burned down a shop! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!"
Claire didn't blink. "Be someone else's problem."
"WHOSE?!"
The merchant, still lost, cleared his throat. "I-I mean, I really do need help..."
Claire shot him a deadly look.
The merchant sweated bullets. "B-But! Maybe not from him...?"
Haruto felt his soul leaving his body.
He was so unemployed, people would rather be murdered than hire him.
The Mission (That He's Not Allowed to Take)
Ignoring the chaos, the merchant took a deep breath and explained his problem.
His caravan had been ambushed by a rogue dragon, and he needed someone to retrieve the high-value cargo that had been left behind.
"A dragon?" One of the adventurers whistled. "That's an A-rank threat, minimum."
"Y-Yes!" the merchant nodded rapidly. "That's why I need the best of the best!"
Haruto immediately raised a hand. "I'll handle it."
"NO." Claire slammed her hands on the counter again.
Haruto clenched his fists. "What is your problem?!"
Claire jabbed a finger at him. "Do you remember the last time you took a quest?"
Haruto blinked. "Uh..."
Flashback to Two Weeks Ago—
Haruto had taken a simple goblin subjugation quest.
Somehow, a single flick of a pebble had triggered:
A mountain collapse
A localized earthquake
The complete extinction of all goblins in a 50-mile radius
The Guild had been so horrified that they banned him on the spot.
End of Flashback.
Haruto coughed. "...That was an accident."
Claire narrowed her eyes. "You destroyed an entire species by accident.
"They could've dodged," Haruto mumbled.
"THEY DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO DODGE, YOU OBLITERATED THEM."
The entire guild stared at him in horror.
Even Lilia, the Demon Lord, looked impressed.
Haruto sighed. "Fine. Then let someone else go."
The merchant hesitated. "W-Well… the thing is…"
Claire raised an eyebrow. "What?"
The merchant gulped. "W-We already sent two different adventurer parties to handle it… and they haven't returned."
The guild fell silent.
Haruto tilted his head. "So, basically—"
"They're all probably dead."
More silence.
Finally, Claire let out a long, exhausted groan.
"...Ugh. Fine. Haruto, you're banned from taking official quests, but if you happen to be in the area and accidentally kill a dragon, I legally can't stop you."
Haruto grinned. "Got it."
And So, the Chaos Continues…
Lilia clapped her hands together. "Excellent! We can turn this into a battle date!"
Haruto frowned. "A what?"
"You'll slay the dragon, I'll admire your strength, and then we'll share a romantic meal under the moonlight before returning to my castle for our wedding night."
"...I'm just here for the paycheck."
Princess Emilia grabbed Haruto's sleeve. "Wait! If you're going to fight a dragon, you should at least do it in the name of the kingdom!"
Claire threw up her hands. "Oh, for the love of—HE'S JUST DOING A SIDE JOB!"
Haruto rubbed his temples.
This was supposed to be a simple job.
And yet, somehow…
It had already turned into another nightmare.
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