Haruto was losing it.
He was trapped in his own house with four lunatics who had no intention of leaving.
[✓] Demon Lord who thinks she's his wife.
[✓] Dragon Emperor who thinks she owns him.
[✓] Princess who thinks she's making him a noble.
[✓] Cat-girl thief who thinks rent is a myth.
He had screamed.
He had begged the gods.
He had tried to leave—only to find the door magically sealed.
Now?
Now it was time for desperate measures.
---
The Master Plan: Escape Through the Chimney
Haruto crept toward the fireplace, eyes darting between the girls, who were casually making themselves at home.
Emberis was lounging on the floor like a giant cat.
Fel was going through his drawers, looking for snacks.
Emilia was rearranging his furniture.
Lilia was watching Haruto like a hawk.
I have one shot at this.
He climbed into the fireplace, pressing himself against the stone.
He exhaled slowly.
Alright. If I can just climb up and get to the roof—
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Lilia peeked inside. "Darling, what are you doing?"
"Going up in smoke," Haruto muttered, before activating Speed MAX and launching himself straight up the chimney.
---
Instant Failure
For exactly three seconds, Haruto was free.
He shot out of the chimney like a rocket, soaring through the air—
And then—
BOOM.
A magical barrier exploded around the house, sending him flying back down.
He crashed through the roof, bounced off the table, flipped three times, and landed in a pile of hay outside.
"Ow."
"Wow," Fel said, standing over him. "That was kinda impressive."
Haruto stared at the sky, dead inside.
---
The Villagers Witness the Chaos
Unfortunately, his little stunt did not go unnoticed.
A crowd of villagers had gathered, staring at the house in confusion.
"Is that the new guy?"
"Why did he just explode out of his own house?"
"Did the Demon Lord just call him 'husband'?"
Haruto froze.
The villagers were whispering.
"Wait… is he some kind of legendary figure?"
"That magic barrier was insane! He must be powerful!"
"Could he be… the chosen one?"
Haruto's entire body locked up.
No. NO. No chosen one nonsense. I just want to be normal.
"Hey, new guy!" One of the villagers stepped forward. "Who exactly are you?"
Haruto panicked.
He had to shut this down immediately.
"I—I'm just a normal guy!" he blurted. "Just a completely average villager—"
"WHO CAN FLY?!"
"AND SURVIVE MAGIC EXPLOSIONS?!"
"AND HAS A DEMON LORD CALLING HIM 'HUSBAND'?!"
The villagers gasped.
"He must be a hidden sage!"
"Or a fallen god in disguise!"
"Maybe he's the reincarnation of the Hero?!"
"Or a lost prince!"
Haruto internally screamed.
---
Somehow, He Accidentally Starts a Cult
Before Haruto could fix things, Lilia stepped forward, smiling proudly.
"Yes, my dear husband is indeed special~!"
The villagers collectively lost their minds.
"HE'S MARRIED TO THE DEMON LORD?!"
"WHAT IS HAPPENING?!"
Emberis grinned. "He belongs to me, little humans. You will address him as Lord Haruto."
Haruto's soul shattered.
"NO, THEY WILL NOT!"
Princess Emilia stepped forward, clapping her hands. "There's no need for confusion! Haruto is simply… a great leader, beloved by all!"
"A LEADER?!"
"IS HE BUILDING A KINGDOM?!"
Fel snickered, whispering into Haruto's ear. "Boss, I think you just became a religious figure."
Haruto's entire existence collapsed.
The villagers started bowing.
"Great Sage Haruto, forgive our ignorance!"
"Please accept us as your disciples!"
"We pledge loyalty to Lord Haruto's rule!"
"WE WILL FOLLOW YOU FOREVER!"
Haruto's brain blue-screened.
He had tried to escape his harem—
And somehow—
He had accidentally started a cult.
---
The Aftermath (Haruto's Breakdown #287)
One hour later, Haruto sat in a daze, surrounded by villagers who were now calling themselves "Harutists."
[✓] His peaceful village life? Gone.
[✓] Being a normal guy? Impossible.
[✓] Having a quiet home? Now a religious landmark.
[✓] Not being worshipped? No longer an option.
Lilia patted his shoulder. "See, darling? You were meant for great things."
"I HATE THIS," Haruto whispered.
"Don't be so dramatic," Emberis chuckled. "It's only a little cult."
"A LITTLE CULT?!" Haruto screamed. "I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FARMER!"
Fel stole his wallet again. "Not anymore, boss~."
Princess Emilia sighed, drinking tea. "This escalated quickly…"
Haruto collapsed onto the table.
There was no escape.