AN: It is chapter twelve, right...? ...Right? I'm not dreaming here?

Nope. Not enough is sprayed on the wall, false alarm.

This chapter: Daily life in the apocalypse, with drama, conversation, and a lurking spider in the darkness...

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I gave a leap, then fell back-first and kicked my feet up. Putting my hands behind my head, I gave out an elongated sigh.

"Haaa, how long has it been? Now where'd I put my XBlock? Oh, right, it's at my house, with my family. Dad, Mom, Sis, Bro, and Jeff. Wonder where they are?...I hope it's alright...I just barely got into ranked matches."

Luke walked in, carrying two backpacks. "Was it necessary to make me carry this pack full of rocks up all of those stairs?"

"Uh, j'yeah, duh. Those rocks hold a special place in my heart, you soulless bastard." I began stretching like a cat, letting my body crack and pop to the fullest.

Luke gave me that look. The one where he just sorta stares at me like he's looking at a kid that keeps touching the fire, to make sure it still hasn't gotten cold. Fire is strange. You never know when it'll change temperature, so you have to keep a close watch. "So, Tiff, these rocks that are, 'close to your heart,' you perhaps didn't notice I watched you fill this literally at the foot of the steps, before turning to me and throwing it at me-correction, my head? Well?"

I felt around in my pocket, and took out a lighter. I gave it a few flicks before getting bored and tossing it away. "What can I say? I have a lot of love to give, so I get attached to things quickly." Luke made to set the pack on the ground next to the couch, but I waved him away. "Don't worry about it, just go ahead and empty it over the balcony."

Apparently the kids' hair had caught fire, judging by Luke's look. "...what happened to, 'big-hearted?'"

I shrug, pull out Long Silver, and spin the cylinder. "Hey, my heart can only hold so much, so I have to make room every now and then. It's painful, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice."

The kid had now entirely burst into flame, and was sitting in the fire. "You know, I get the feeling you don't get invited to many parties."

I snort, open my messages, and turn the screen towards Luke before scrolling, showing off the dozens of messages, one after another. "Read it and weep, non-believer."

FredMinse: Yo! I gotta bangin' party, the only thing that's missing is you!

UlmerRichard: Uh, I know you're really busy and all, what with your dads' company, but I hope you might be able to spare some time to come over to my house! I've got some friends over, but it's just not the same without you here! ^u^

DevinMole: Suuuup! Yo, U, me, all my football buddies, we'll have a good time. I's gots a DJ, evn!

GinsonFin: Hey Tiffany! Me and my pals are all hanging out tonight, and we were counting on you showing up! How about it?

I tossed the phone up, passed Long Silver to my other hand, and caught the phone. "You may now grovel. Just don't be too loud, or I'll have to smite you."

The kid had suddenly sprouted four more arms, turned golden, and transformed into buddha. He was now levitating and spreading peace and love to all. Luke's body went limp, and he dropped the backpacks. "I...I don't believe it. How!? I spent the entirety of my high-school life being avoi-..."

I feel a grin coming on. "Oh-ho! Well, well, well. What's this? Little' Lukey, gettin' ditched by all his little' friends? Oh my, this is just too, perfect. Ha! You were a total loser, and what's more, a loner! Oh, and you said I probably didn't get invited to many parties? How priceless! Projecting much, are we? Hmm?"

"Stop..." Luke's eyes franticly looked around the room, searching for a change of subject. His face suddenly sharpened. "Ah! But, that Ginson guy, he called you 'Tiffany,' right? What's up with that?"

The rising taunts shriveled up and died. It was now my turn to avoid eye-contact and search for a change of subject. "A-ah, that..? Naw, Ginson, he, well, he's kinda screwy, and he gave out weird nicknames...right! Right, a nickname! I was called tiffany my whole junior year because of...of...a...cross...cross-dressing incident! Right, I lost a bet with my Pal Gildrin, and-"

"You mean Ginson?'

"Yes, yes, of course. Gidron. My ol' buddy ol' pal Gefron, and I had to spend the week wearing a skirt...You know?"

For some reason Luke was smiling. "You know, 'Tiffany,' you're a lot more tolerable when you're panicking."

I took off my shoe and threw it at him. "The next time you call me that, I'm using one of my beloved rocks."

"Oh? So they've been re-accepted into your heart once more, 'Tiffany?'"

I locked in the cylinder, and cocked the hammer. "Never mind. I'll just use Long Silver."

Luke disappeared from my sight real fast. "That's alright! You don't have to go that far, I'll just go pour the rocks over the balcony!"

I headed towards the glass doors leading outside, revolver by my head, and yelled, "You let one of my precious little rocks fall, and you're testicles follow it down, dammit!"

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Bren and Alice arrived at the top of the stairs, and looked around. Alice spoke what both were thinking. "I feel like there should be someone in here..."

Bren let out a loud groan, and let his pack drop before stretching. "Argh, whatever. It's been a long day, and this is the first time I've been in a mansion this big. I'm taking a nap. See ya Alice."

She smiled, and gave a wave, forgetting she was carrying a pack, then remembering halfway through, managing to trip while trying to catch it, and ending up waving and smiling from the floor. "H-...have a good...rest!"

Bren smiled while trying not to cringe. "Sure..."

Hoodie came in the room, then disappeared through a door.

---

"I made some foooood~!"

Bren stalked from a bedroom, his glasses skewed, and hair messy. Luke arrived at a run, still panting, and hid behind Alice before a gun-toting Tiff came running in, before getting distracted by the table and its' contents. Hoodie appeared in a seat. Alice smiled while taking off her apron.

"Hey guys! I couldn't do anything fancy, but I made some Cassoulet with the beans, pork, and other cans we had, and a nice Cappon Magro with tuna, since we didn't have any shrimp. Sorry it's so simple, I hope you'll be okay with this!" Alice looked slightly nervous.

Bren, Luke, and Tiff stared at her. The silence slowly grew, before Alice's twitching made Luke say something. "Wait...you, can cook? And..." he looked over the steaming dishes on the table, expertly made, fresh out of a picture, not a burn or raw portion in sight. "...it's not poisonous, right?"

Alice laughed, and sat down. "Of course not! I know I'm just a dumb blond, but I've been taught by famous chefs from around the world. I didn't forget too many steps, so I think it'll be okay!"

Luke choked. "U-uh, you're not a...dumb...blond...you're just...clumsy! Yeah, a little clumsy, and a bit of a failure, at, well, everything...ahem, y-you have redeeming qualities, we just...haven't...found any...yet. Hm?"

Alice covered her mouth, and laughed some more. Bren and Tiff took their seats. "Oh, you're so cute when you're embarrassed. I'm just repeating what I hear people call me all the time when my back is turned and they think I can't hear them. Heehee~"

"..."

Bren and Luke shared a painful glance, meanwhile Hoodie struggled to unzip his...hoodie. Tiff skipped the serving part and just picked up a spoon and pulled over the dish, before digging in.

Bren tried to change the subject. "So, this looks great, Alice. It'd be impossible to eat with a hoodie on." at this, three of the four people stopped and looked towards Hoodie.

Slowly, the hand reached up towards the zipper, feeling around for it, before holding it between his fingers, and slowly, slowly zipping it down...

With baited breath, the three not stuffing their faces watched the shadowed face reveal itself, to show a...

...bright-eyed, long-haired kid, of about twelve or thirteen. He let out a big breath. "Whew, it gets stuffy in there." He looked at the four of them. He smiled, and waved. "Hello, I guess this is the first time I'm introducing myself! You can call me Sam, or Sammy, whichever you prefer. I'm seventeen this year, and going to collage!"

"Seventeen?"

"Collage?"

"A boy?"

"A girl?"

Silence fell. The four looked at each other. Tiff slowly took the spoon out of his mouth and pointed at Sammy. "This kid isn't seventeen. She looks like an eight-year-old."

Luke snorted. "Like you're one to talk, you're short enough to be in his class."

Bren looked at Alice. "That boy is obviously male. Look at his chin."

Alice shook her head. "No way! Those eyes and nose are clearly a girls'!"

The four turned towards Sam. """"Well? Which is it?""""

Sammy smiled and held up his hands in surrender. "Well..."

""""Yeah?""""

"...Those are all interesting topics. Goodnight!"

Sammy left.

Bren and Luke spent the night confirming to each other that Sam was a guy, while also ignoring his long eyelashes and cute nose, while Alice tried to shake off Tiff.

"Alison! You're a goddess!" Tiffs' eyes shed tears like waterfalls, as he clung to her shoulders. "You have no idea the kind of things I've tasted, but this makes up for all of it! Just say the word, and I'll go out and buy a ring! I'll take good care of you, I promise!"

Inside it was noisy, but to the outside no light could be seen, as Tiff and Sammy had worked together to curtain off and board up all of the windows. Rolled up mats were used under doors, and tape was placed over cracks. A tripwire in front attached to a sack full of fragile plates and cups was laid at the front door.

That night, no monster entered the house. Well, except the one already inside.

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AN: Admiral Akbar, you stay out of this...