The one thing that binds humanity as a species is finding a foe to fight together. But when it comes to tearing us back apart, nothing does the job better than greed. As the old saying goes: "What starts as a party ends with a fistfight over a chest".
--Last words of HighCommand as Guild leader of Ctrl Alt Elite
*****
Taco Knight Officers
Steven
The spoils of war were plentiful for the 73 surviving participants: 30 pieces of gear, 3 pets, 2 mounts, and a single epic consumable.
Although such fortune should bring joy to all, Lord OhZone knew not even this bounty was enough to satisfy the avarice of the rabble. In every player's heart there lurked a monster, an insatiable hunger for that which they may possess.
Lord OhZone stared down at the unassuming wooden chest, like Pandora before him, opening it was sure to release all the evil's known to humanity. This would be his guild's first true challenge.
He suspiciously surveyed their faces, the fervent gazes and outstretched fingers. The chest called to them and they in returned hungered for it.
Lord OhZone had been where he stood before, and he knew the hyprocicy of man. They claimed to want fairness, but that was false, they desired unfairness but to their benefit. Splitting the riches straight down the middle merely made them all equally displeased.
Thus, he would not do what was fair, or even what was just - he did what needed to be done. He negotiated a balance between justice and chaos - what was necessary to maintain the guild's order and power. He took charge of the situation, ensuring power rested in the right hands.
All of the gear was some level of quality, high-level gear with powerful stats, but none compared to the items with special effects. He knew it best to distribute these first before any of the players knew what was happening, before players could properly assess their worth.
BowsGoBrrrr received an enchanted bow that shot arcane arrows able to explode on contact; this trade was made through party trade, most none the wiser she had received the weapon at all. Some however did notice, and Lord OhZone made a note of their reactions.
Coop had pulled her part in the boss fight, so Lord was required to reward that exelence. OhZone bequithed her the the Racoon Ninja Paws of the Unheard Tread. The paws silenced the movement of the wearers, and those within an area around them. It was a give given out of a petty criqitue, but she had aggroed the boss right after criticizing Lord OhZone's ambush abilities...
Karl had such a low rating he was lucky to even join this raid, so he deserved nothing - yet oddly enough there was a quest item only he could loot.
Lastly, Neko was given a particularly non-combat related item due to what Lord OhZone could only assume was his recent activities.
Lord OhZone carefully sifted through the haul and assigned the most coveted pieces to the seasoned raiders - BigBadBrenda was given a chestplate that could absorb damage or ramp up its user's offenses, while EldRich, the sub-officer mage who had successfully marshaled additional troops in the midst of battle, earned himself a staff with an activatable oversoul capable of buffing nearby allies, while providing extra protection to anyone standing within its range.
A staff that had an on use oversoul, to reduce damage to any within range. That went to the sub-officer mage EldRich. He had done well when tasked to organize the late newcomers to the raid. Most of the chaff had died, but a sturdy crop remained.
Thee rest, Lord OhZone left for the players to compete for - an array of weapons, armor and magical items coveted by many, all subject to the whims of the fickle god of RNG's merciless favor.
*****
Karl
Karl's crew was up to no good, but Karl had the perfect cover story — he could say he didn't know what was going on. And as usual, in his case it just happened to be perfectly true.
Karl was none the wiser as his followers pooled their rolls for extra chances at epic loot. The strategy was already paying dividends.
Brenda had not only gotten a magnificent chest piece from the raid leader, but was traded a sturdy helm as well when one of Karl's ranged damage dealers with a tank offspec rolled high. Every player with a healing spec which was half of his party, took their shot on the next item, and Dumdum was traded a book with an unpronounceable title that increased his healing immensely.
They didn't win every roll, or even roll on every available piece of gear, but enough went to their strongest players, or to fill slots of lower gear that needed replacing, that it was a great haul for the 14 of them.
They poured over the drops, desperate to find something that was worthy of their magnificent leader. Item after item passed, and all failed to meet the quality the the Boss Deserved. Everything paled in comparison to the gear the Boss was already wearing. The longer the rolls went on, the more obvious it became. the Boss didn't even need to be here for this fight. He had, out of the kindness of his heart, taken the time out of his day to bring his party here to this exclusive raid, something only an officer of one of the 5 main guilds on the server could do, just to help his followers progress.
Examining the raid logs more closely, they noticed that their beloved Boss had been holding back during the battle against the raid boss for their sake, allowing his followers to get into the top five for damage contribution. He hadn't even attacked during the second phase and yet he was still way up in seventh place in overall damage! Nekomata may have been the Hidden Dragon of the Taco knights, but the world at large didn't know he wasn't the only one.
His modesty and legendary humility only pushed them harder to find something to show their appreciation. But after each item was rolled for, one after another unworthy of their boss's glory, the group sank in defeat as worry set in. Would the Boss stick around if they kept dragging him down? It was unnecessary though, as they later learned--they should have trusted in their Boss all along.
Nonchalantly, as if it was no big deal, the Boss hit an acceptance button on a screen that only he could see and an alert spread through the entire server: Congratulations to player TuffEnuff! First person ever to unlock achievement 'This Is Just A Phase!' - soloing a raid boss phase without any help from other players!
From nowhere, a pair of pink sunglasses with star-shaped frames materialized in Karl's hands and voices of angels cried out in joyous celebration as he donned them atop his head.
As if a server first achievement with a unique drop wasn't enough, Lord Ohzone stepped forward personally and bestowed upon Karl the unique item 'Lord Velexeristixis' Revenge,' useable only when under the effect of On TuffEnuff's Person.
They felt so foolish for their earlier childish attempts. Of course their Boss didn't need their help! How could he when the raid boss itself had seen him as an insurmountable opponent?
*****
Jim
"You're kidding, right?" Nekomata had grown a lot over the last few weeks. He'd come to appreciate the little moments in life more than ever before.
But raid loot was still raid loot.
"OhZone! This ain't right!" Neko barked at Lord OhZone.
"It's all yours, pal," Lord OhZone replied. "You're the only one who can use it."
Neko continued to plead, “Can I get something else too then? Anything else. Please? I basically solo tanked that fight!”
“That would be unwise as your current gear is already close to what you can obtain here.” Lord OhZone pointed out.
Nekomata sighed and broke character for a second. "Steven, come on man. You know this is bullshit, I know it, Karl probably knows it!" Neko shot a glance at Karl who stood nearby in his tank top, holding a pool noodle sword while wearing pink star sunglasses.
"Okay, Karl has no idea," Jim conceded, "but you do!"
"That's your drop man," Lord OhZone said with finality. "Take it."
"But I want that!" Jim shouted, pointing at BigBadBrenda wearing a glowing chest piece with arcane tendrils that fluctuate between offensive lashing and a defensive barrier. Brenda winked back at him when she noticed Neko checking out her chest.
"Listen I'm going to be real with you Jim, we need a strong off-tank and Brenda needs gear more than you do. Besides, from what I've heard you should be thrilled about this."
Neko stared at the Otherworldly Whisker Wiggler fishing pole he held. It was a black and spindly rod with a glossy metallic sheen emanating a purple aura. The handle was made of white bone, and its reel bedecked in rubies and emeralds capped off by a glass bubble that radiated light, giving it an otherworldly quality. The description said his catches weren't limited to this plane of reality.
Even as he stood there, the rod seemed to vibrate ever so slightly in his hands, almost like it couldn’t wait to be used.
He could hear the old man already, "That's a lot of fancy pole just to pull up another old leathery boot."
*****
Samantha
Coop seethed as she watched Karl's loot ninjas snatch another drop, this time one she wanted, the Unknowably Titled Book. How could they think they deserved it more than her? She had been healing like a boss all night long, keeping Neko and Brenda up, and the rest of the raid alive through damage that should have ended everything. And yet, when it came time to divvy up the spoils, they acted like entitled brats who deserved everything.
She couldn't help but fume at the memory of how she had double the numbers of the second place healer during that fight, and yet, despite her carrying, they had dared to look upset when she rolled a natural 100 for the mount - a giant Ogre Commander upon which she rode comfortably in a shaded seat on its back.
Like every other raid in WNC, all mounts were disabled except for any found in the current raid tier. Most came with a special ability too, her Ogre could convert up to 5 combatant NPCs here with Circle allegiances to her side.
Fuming at the thought of being wronged, Coop surveyed the world below from her ogre mount, determined to get her fair share of loot one day.