The Offices of Samantha's Work
When Samantha asked for a month off, the HR department was shocked. They had been up to this point, fairly certain that Samantha was an A.I. They'd even made jokes about one day being replaced by 'a Samantha', the likes of which prowled around the servers all day managing the servers.
Hours of scouring through the databases had left them empty-handed. Brandon, the HR rep who had received the request, assumed it was some kind of joke. Being the quintessential corporate America employee, he kicked the can down hill.
Brandon, a master of short-term thinking, delegated the menial task of searching for a non-existent employee to his luckless intern. The intern then proceeded to stumble around the network, more so out of confusion than searching.
After uncovering nothing of note, the intern reported her lack of findings to Brandon, who now felt he was in on the joke. Brandon, warming up to the idea of hazing, quickly led the intern towards the decrepit labyrinth of archives. A dreary sight – a muddled haunt where yellowed papers lay still in utter isolation – a place where hopes were lost to oblivion and forgotten documents dreamed of suddenly bursting into kindling.
After rummaging, fumbling and copious sneezing for the better part of a day, the intern stumbled upon success! She returned to Brandon, Samantha's contract triumphantly in her grimy hands. She proudly bragged of how she'd found the document tucked away between two warped planks of wood.
Brandon huffed and took the document from her, allowing her a brief second of glory in which she had 'fooled' him by actually finding the non-existent contract. The frivolity ceased when he realized it was all genuine. Samantha was real, and she was about to ruin Brandon's lunch break.
He whipped up an email and sent it to the most pertinent executives on the team, plus a few hidden addresses for legal cover just in case the truth got out.
She'd been a founding member, the last original member seeing as how everyone else had sold out. They had neglected to purchase her share during the buyout because she always worked remotely; a joke or two had been passed around that she was an A.I. but the new execs hadn't realized they were joking. As it stood, her unused vacation and sick days alone could ruin their third quarter earnings, not to mention how if interpreted broadly she might own 5% of their billion dollar company.
The intern was promptly bribed into a full time position and Samantha's contract quickly hid right back between the boards where they found it. Leadership made an easy decision to let Samantha do as she pleased for the month, and the next few after that, crossing their fingers that that would be the end of it.
*****
Taco Knight Officer, Samantha
After a day or so, the email came in saying Samantha's month was off was approved. She unplugged and stepped away from her work for perhaps the first time since the company launched. She'd always been there, rain, sleet, snow, disaster. She fondly remembered huddling in the bath tub, refactoring code as an EF-3 tornado passed. The weather reporter remarked that it was 'worryingly close', but certainly not enough to deter her mission.
Not everyone appreciated her enthusiasm - she had to switch dentists three times before finding one who was comfortable with her working through checkups.
Samantha was ready to refocus all that energy into RotR, she was already bringing the game to her life. Her bedroom became increasingly cluttered and unhinged. Stacks of strange objects – coins, statues, gems, baubles and even garden decorations – were scattered around her floor.
It had been awkward a week ago when her neighbors asked her why all their lawn decorations were piled up in a bag on her front porch. She hadn't a clue, but with all the raucous activity occurring outside during the night lately it was enough for most to simply brush off and chuckle about.
Samantha kept the best things for herself - she felt terrible about lying to Danny from three doors down about his garden gnome. She knew exactly where it was, but he was never getting it back.
In game CooperTrooper has come a long way.
Coop had found herself in the fantastical world of raccoon crime and mayhem. It had started out small - a few potions, half-eaten apples - but Coop's skills continuously improved as she scavenged and battled with her competition for dominance. She saw the eco-system that had been built here between the humans who built, and the raccoons who reveled. There might be friction, but in a way they needed each other.
It wasn't long before Coop encountered the true foe, The Circle. A motley crew of dimension-hopping malcontents with their sights set on The All Yonder -- the far off realm where "Rise of the Raccoon" took place. These bozos were out to enslave the residents, pilfer resources and fuel their evil contraption for further conquest.
On her last daring mission, Coop pinched what the quest flavor text called 'a nothing-special-run-of-the-mill gemstone' from the depths of an awe-inspiring war machine. As soon as she seized it, a countdown began. Coop had just enough time to scuttle away and witness the immense black steel colossus she had been within tumbling like a pack of cards and squashing all the orcs and ogres beneath it, sending the goblins sprinting off in abject dread.
In the blink of an eye, 'Tower of Dread' dungeon was nothing more than a memory. The only thing left standing was a brief movie scene of Coop proudly snatching the innocuous gem, then suddenly veering off in a mad dash as scrap metal and rubble rained down around her.
Coop had landed in the bustling Masked City, home to a secret and vibrant population of raccoons, surrounded by impossibly tall dumpsters that shielded them from the outside world. Its streets were a kaleidoscopic patchwork of mischievous raccoon faces. Everywhere she looked, colorful banners fluttered in the wind alongside flags of woven fabric. On the streets below, clusters of masked creatures dressed in robes and sashes paraded around with pride. The buildings were stacked like wooden puzzles, patched together with rope ladders and handmade pathways. It was an urban masterpiece crafted over centuries by this secret society.
Coop stood upon a podium constructed of logs and twigs, lovingly woven together by the skilled hands of King Rufus’s raccoon court. The creation had been decorated with pebbles and moss with a crude painting of what was probably supposed to be Coop plastered on it.
A feverish buzz filled the night as crowds of raccoons amassed along the streets to honor Samantha with the esteemed Laurel of Shiny Baubles. King Rufus solemnly stepped forward, donned in his finest robes and cloak.
King Rufus let out an exultant chirp and declared in an impressive squeal, "Ya did great, ya? Robbed those shinnies like a pro! Can't thank ya enough. Here ya go."
Samantha was adorned in the finest attire of the raccoon kingdom: a majestic trashcan lid, complete with razor-sharp toothbrush blades that shimmered in the light, a cardboard tube rifle that would make even the strongest opponents quiver in fear, and a harness made from luxurious leather belts to keep everything secure. Each piece flaunted her unwavering loyalty to her beloved raccoon king.
Samantha stood tall amongst the throngs of cheering individuals. She basked in the warmth of the moment as she was bestowed the highest honor of becoming a Raccoon Elder.
And with that, she earned the ellusive 5th stat in chittering. Finally, the world of raccoon conversation was wide open before her!
King Rufus boomed over the clamoring of the crowd, his voice dripping with gravitas that Coop swore wasn't there a few seconds ago.
"As the ancient writ foretold, an august trio of travelers had arrived. They were unfamiliar in their ways and generously provisioned. Whilst misguided in many of their actions and beliefs, they nonetheless stood with valiant purpose against The Circle that threatened both raccoons and humans alike."
"Oh, CooperTheSly of the Taco Knights! Arise and be our last hope to reclaim this land from those who would keep it in servitude. Let us join together in a wild whirlwind of chaos and disruption that will echo through time in order to quench not the fire of freedom, but fan its flames ever brighter."
Coop hadn't realized she was kneeling until she stood to accept her charge.